As fate would have it, Ash and his friends were now headed towards the Sunny Town Gym. "Did we already go to Sunny Town?" asked Misty, staggering slightly. Psyduck, who was leading her by a leash and collar made of psychic energy, zapped her with his psybeam. Ash's pokemon, meanwhile, were following quite peacefully, as were Brock's.

"But I haven't gotten my UV Badge yet!" whined Ash. "And we're going to win, aren't we, Eevee?"

"Vee!" squealed Eevee.

They entered the gym just in time to find James and some blonde they'd never seen before arguing about James' homosexuality. "Well, he kind of looks like Cassidy," said Brock.

"Close enough," Ash said, shrugging. He then shouted, "I'm here to challenge the leader of the Sunny Town Gym for my UV Badge!"

Jesse laughed nervously. "Could you come back later?" she asked. "We're kind of in the middle of something."

Ash's face fell. "If I resolve it, will you give me the badge anyway?" he asked.

"Well, normally I'd tell a little twerp like you to beat it, but...you have such charm and charisma that I might just give you the badge right now," Jesse said, causing James, Mondo, and Clay to stare at her.

"Really?" Ash asked, his greedy little eyes lighting up.

"No! Now get the hell out!" snapped Jesse before posing arrogantly. "I've got to deal with these losers."

Clay, meanwhile, had seen something to truly lift his spirits: Ash's eevee. **If I steal that eevee and evolve it with a moon stone, then I'll swap it for Luneon and Al will never know the difference...** he thought, starting to exhibit the tell tale signs of an evil grin. **I'll just tell her Luneon stopped sucking out of love for her!** "Can I pet your eevee?" he asked.

"No, you're in Team Rocket!" Ash said.

"I'll give you the..." Clay reached into his pockets. "Old Movie Stub Badge!"

"Sure!" Ash said, handing him Eevee in exchange for a a crumpled movie stub from Saved By The Bell: The Movie.

"Well, time machine's ready--who's coming?" Clay asked. "Jesse, James? Super!" Still holding the eevee, he pushed the button.

James soon found himself back in the place where the entire moronic arguement began, staring at himself and Clay exchanging petty threats. "Hello, boys," Clay said, walking over to his fifteen minutes ago self and still holding Eevee. "Now, Clay, you're looking as good as ever, I wouldn't recommend going back and keeping Jesse out of Pokemon Tech. Far too inconvenient."

"What's with the Eevee?" asked 15 minutes ago Clay.

"I stole it from the Ketcham twerp," Clay explained. "If I can get a moon stone and evolve it--"

"Al will get rid of that stupid loser Luneon!" they both cheered.

"So, when I come back to my own time, Al had better be there, dressed like a Nurse Joy--"

"Doesn't her hair look awful?" said 15 minutes ago-Clay, grimacing.

"I know! And if she's not here, I'm ditching the eevee."

15 minutes ago-Clay sighed. "Fine," he said. "But where are we going to get a moon stone?"

The two Jameses looked at each other, then at Jesse, then back at each other. Clay pulled James back before any more potential casualties could occur. "Hmm...well, since Al doesn't have Luneon right now..." Clay began.

"Are you sure?" asked 15 minutes ago-Clay. "She at least has her eevee."

"True...but she's probably found a moon stone, right? She's a Nurse Joy. She stole some kid's Moltres when we first found her, remember?"

"Oh yeah...well, we'll think of something!" 15 minutes ago-Clay leaned over and whispered to his future self, "Any ground on Operation Blue?"

"I wish. He won't even sleep with me to save the partnership, so getting rid of Jesse isn't going to work."

"Damn!"

Clay grabbed James by the arm and dragged him to the side of the room. "All right, Jamesy, back we go!" he said. "Jesse, you can...oh well, she's faded out. Whatever."

Once our two unlikely heroes were back to where things got overly twisted, Clay dragged James back into the main room where a rather unhappy Nurse Allison was still being grilled by Jesse and Meowth. "Oh, thank god," said Clay. "Now, Allison, how the hell did things get this messed up?"

Sundance rolled her eyes. "Mom and Dad are going to kill you, Clay."

"Oh, shut up, Sundance. Don't make me make it so you don't exist." Clay thought about this for a moment. "Of course, I could always make it so..." He promptly shut up after a significant glare from James. "Okay, fine. Can we still have sex to save our friendship?"

"No," snapped Jesse.

"Why am I here again?" asked Allison.

"Look, Al, where I came from, me and you were partners in Team Rocket," said Clay. "We stole lots of stuff and...well, okay, fine. We slept in ditches and ate food pills and you cried yourself to sleep a lot when you thought I was already asleep. So our lives kind of sucked but..." Digging deep into his mind, Clay decided it was time to drag out the thing that was never spoken of by silent mutual agreement and had only been brought up while both parties were outrageously smashed. "But we have each other, right? And I know your passion for me burns brighter than--"

Allison burst out laughing. "My passion for you?" she laughed. "What are you talking about? You're gay, you're not tall enough for me, and you have the worst hair I've ever seen!"

Jesse and James looked Clay over. "She's got a point," said James.

"And people say we're self centered," said Jesse. "Her burning passion?"

"She says she doesn't even know you!" added James.

"Okay, first and third items good points," said Clay. "But what do you mean I'm not tall enough for you? I'm taller than you are!"

Allison shrugged. "You don't project tall."

"Look, I could've coerced bad alterna-now Jesse with various stories of how she was going to become the stinking rich leader of Team Rocket--" In the background Jesse, James, and Meowth victory hugged. Clay raised an eyebrow at this. Technically, James already knew that little tidbit...~~Horny little bastards~~ Clay thought before turning back to his partner. "Al, basically all I can say is that...uhm..."

"And why do you keep calling me that?" asked Allison. "I'm Nurse Joy, you idiot."

"Fine, Joy," said Clay. "Uhm, technically we've never met before but...Jesse, James, do you have any tequila I can borrow? I need to have a heart to heart with my bootleg pokemon nurse of a partner."

"I am so telling," Sundance announced.

Allison/Joy looked at her. What nice green hair she had. It would be a shame if someone took several gallons of bleach and a curling iron to it. Allison/Joy smiled evilly. Such a shame..."Does anyone have any bleach?" she asked. She looked at Clay.

"Not on me..." he said.

"Ash, this isn't the Pewter City pokemon gym!" said Misty.

"This isn't even Pewter City!" added Brock. "Even Joy has better directional sense than you do."

Ash sighed. "At least I didn't name Jesse and James' bastard child after Nurse Joy for some inexplicable reason..." he said. Then he realized where he was. "Oops."

"Wow, that green haired chick is the prettiest girl I've ever seen!" exclaimed Brock. "And wow! Look at the messed up Nurse Joy!"

Allison smiled nervously, trying not to vomit. This could get very awkward... "You're not so bad yourself, sexy," said Clay, winking at him.

He suddenly found himself being strangled by Allison. "I don't know who you are, you stupid fairy, but stop hitting on my father!" she hissed.

James pouted. Jesse glared at him. Clay, meanwhile, slipped away from his former partner and slid an arm around Brock's waist. "Oh, Brocky-dear, has anyone ever told you that you have such beautiful eyes?"

Brock hugged him tightly. "Never!" he wailed. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"

"I'll make a deal with you, Al," said Clay. "You take your current self away from Brock and I'll never try to make him my snuggle nidoran ever again!"

"Can we get back to us now?" asked Jesse, voicing the wish of many a reader who had sat through Clay and Allison's tedious adventures before.

"It's a deal," said Allison/Joy. She shifted her dress with a shudder. "Hey, blue eyes, why don't you give the kid to the Rockets."

"Okay!" Brock happily agreed, bleakly thrusting little Twerp/Joy into Jesse's hands.

There was a slight continuity shift in which everything was returned to normal, hybrids and all. "Well, I guess we weren't fading out," said Allison, looking at her now gloved hands.

Vaporeon sighed. "Could we please try to go three days without you two being convinced you're fading out?"

"Dammit, have you seen the way we're shredding the space time conintuum? I'm suprised we're not all dead!"

"You know," said Clay. "I think I've learned a valuable lesson today."

Allison rolled her eyes. "Good. I'm you finally learned about avoiding paper cuts down there."

"No, you stupid bitch! I learned about the meaning of friendship! And about how it sucked to have you turn into a slutty Nurse Joy, leaving me stuck with James, who, although he's far more delicious than you are, isn't willing to put out!"

Jesse gave them both a suspicious look. "What were you two doing back there?" she asked. "Sexual favors?"

"Well, Clay, that was touching," Allison said sarcastically. "And if you dragged me away from an alternative future with lots of studs, I'm going to be pissed."

"You know what, girls?" said Clay. "Since Jesse, James, Meowth, and bastards are probably going to go back to arguing about something pointless, let's go celebrate!"

"I'll make the chasers!" Vaporeon gleefully volunteered.

"I wanna go too!" said Meowtle.

"No!" said Meowth.

"Why not?"

Jesse and James exchanged a glance. "Tequila," they both said.