Meowth looked down at the purplish egg and sighed, "How did dis happen to me?"

"Meowth, we brought you a present!" Jesse announced.

"Since you seemed so upset over giving into your carnal desires on Ash's squirtle, we brought you this!" said James, holding out a quickly wrapped package.

"Where'd the egg come from?" asked Jesse.

"Arbok's going to be a mother," said Meowth.

"Well, since you like eggs so much, you can take care of that one too."

"Too?" asked Meowth, opening his present. Inside was another egg.

"Maybe these will turn out to be valuable rare pokemon," said Jesse.

"I still think we should've eaten it," said James.

"How powerful can it be?" asked Meowth, squinting at the purple egg. "It's related to arbok..."

Several weeks later, after all the same warm, fuzzy stuff we saw with "Who Gets to Keep Togepi," Arbok's egg started to hatch. Team Rocket gathered around it excitedly. Once it hatched, Jesse, James, and Meowth all sweatdropped in unison. "What is that?" asked James.

"This can't be normal," said Jesse.

A purple sphere hovered in front of them, a yellow stripe around its center and with a small, thin tail with a rattlesnake rattle on the end. "Ekking," it hissed before spitting out a small cloud.

Arbok and Weezing, who had developed massive sweatdrops at this point, started slinking guiltily out of the room.

Before any comments could be made, the second egg started hatching. "Oh..ew," said Jesse and James, stepping away from Meowth and his brand new bastard child.

"Meowtle!" chirped a small, shelled pokemon with pointy black ears, blue fur, brown tips on its tail and paws, and a coin on its head.

James gave his partner a worried glance. "You don't have any surprises for me, do you?" he asked.

Jesse whacked him with a paper fan. "Of course not. Because we seem to be the only members of this team who've heard of birth control!"

"I just thought of something more disturbing than both these hybrids combined," said James. "How did you...you know with Squirtle? It's got that shell..."

"I don't know!" snapped Meowth. "Let's just steal Pikachu!"

"Shouldn't we decide who gets to keep the purple thing?" asked James.

"Since Arbok's the mother, I should keep it," said Jesse.

"But, Jesse, how do we even know which parent's which? It's Arbok and Weezing!"

"Pikachu first, custody battles later," said Meowth. "Besides, how do we even know it can fight?"

"Ekking!" Ekking said defensively.

"Now, my Meowtle, on da other hand..."

"Ek! Ek! Ek!" Ekking snarled, then wrapped its tail around Meowth's neck.

"Man, that's the second rare egg Team Rocket's stolen from us!" said Ash.

"Rare? Ash, it was a squirtle egg," said Misty.

"Prepare for trouble!"

"Make it double!"

"Oh no..." groaned Ash.

"At least we don't have anymore eggs," said Brock.

"To protect the world from devastation,"

"To unite all peoples within our nation,"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love,"

"To extend our reach to the stars above,"

"Jesse,"

"James,"

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light,"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight,"

"Meowtle, dat'th wight!"

"Huh?" said everyone in the area, staring at the little hybrid who had just usurped Meowth's place.

"What is that?" asked Ash, pulling out his PokeDex.

"Meowtle, the selfish shellfish pokemon. and wanders the streets at night looking for loose change," said Dexter.

"Hmm...that must've been what happened to the egg your squirtle laid," said Brock. Ash-tachi gave Meowth a disturbed stare. Pikachu snickered.

"But who gets to keep it?" asked Misty.

"I do! It's my Squirtle!" said Ash. "And this time, there'll be none of your 'it saw me first' crap to deal with!"

"Normally I'd agree with you, Ash, but since I took care of the egg until Team Rocket stole it..." Brock began.

"You let them steal it! That's the second egg you let Team Rocket steal!"

"I'm da father! I have more rights dan both of you!" snapped Meowth. He looked at Jesse and James.

"Ekking?" asked Ekking, appearing from behind Jesse and James.

"What's that?" asked Ash-tachi. Ash pulled out the pokedex again.

"Ekking, the unevolved form of Arbing, a hybrid of Arbok and Weezing."

"How did Team Rocket get a hybrid of Arbok and Weezing?" asked Ash. There was a group eye roll. "Well, no use fighting over something that puny looking..."

Ekking's eyes narrowed. "Ekking!" it screamed before spewing acid onto Ash and Pikachu.

Both trainer and pokemon were coated in acid and began jumping around and waving their arms, screaming. "Aaahhh! It burns!"

"Wow...I wish I had a pokemon that powerful," said Misty. Brock nodded.

"Ek!" Ekking said proudly.

Jesse and James recovered from their shock that the offspring of Arbok and Weezing had managed to severely wound Ash and Pikachu and quickly hugged the little pokemon. "Ekking's a part of Team Rocket," said Jesse.

"Which means only we get to fight over it!" added James.

"It burns!" Ash screamed again. "Misty! Get one of your pokemon to wash it off!"

"Go, Staryu!" Misty said, tossing a pokeball. "What? Psyduck? You don't even have any water attacks! All you know is scratch, tail whip, and confusion!"

"Flesh...burning!"

Brock, either out of sympathy or the desire to shut his friend up, kicked both Ash and Pikachu into a conveniently nearby stream.

Jesse and James, meanwhile, were facing each other, ready for pokemon battle. "Arbok, go!"

"Go, Weezing!"

"Arbok, bind!"

"Weezing, tackle attack!"

Jesse and James both sighed and sweatdropped as their pokemon collided and both fainted. "Ek?" asked Ekking, looking worried.

"It's okay, Ekking," said Meowth, patting the little snake/toxic gas sphere on the head. "Mommy and daddy just both suck at battling." Ekking hovered slightly lower with Sylvester Jr. style shame.

"Ek ek ek ekking!" Ekking announced.("Then I'm going to be the best fighter ever, just to show that my parents don't suck!")

"Yeah, right," said Meowth. "Dere's no overcoming genes like...hey, dey didn't faint!" he shouted, noticing Arbok's eye open then quickly close. "Dey faked it!"

Jesse turned to her partner. "Well, what now?" she asked.

James shrugged. "I guess we could see who it likes better," he said. They both sat down in the stands of the arena where the others were going to fight, complete with bag of chips. Ekking sat between them.

"Why're you fighting?" Ash asked Misty.

"Because I think it's cute," said Misty.

"What'th happening?" asked Meowtle.

"Well, Meowtle, dese bad people want to take you away from your daddy," said Meowth.

"Okay, it'll be Meowth against Misty and me against Brock," said Ash, not realizing that he could quite easily be dooming himself.

"I choose Onix," said Brock.

"I choose Starmie," said Misty.

"I choose Meowth," said Meowth.

"And I choose Squirtle!" said Ash.

"Uh-oh," said Meowth, realizing the ultimate in custody battles was about to come up...

Naturally, Meowth managed to whup Psyduck(who, of course, came out instead of Starmie) and Squirtle whupped Onix, once again bringing it down to Meowth and Ash.

"Squirtle!" snapped Squirtle.("You never called!")

"You can't even hold a phone!"

"Squirt squirtle!" Squirtle then proceeded to water gun Meowth into oblivion.

"Why all the fuss over that little bastard?" Jesse wondered aloud.

"Aren't all pokemon bastards?" asked James.

"Ekking ing?" asked Ekking("What's a bastard?")

"Yes, Uncle Meowth just got beaten by a girl," said James, giving Ekking another pat on the head.

Jesse glared at James and whacked him upside the head. "There's nothing wrong with girls!" she snapped.

"Yes, but Meowth gets beaten by them so frequently..."

Ekking ducked as Jesse took another swing at James. "Ekking..."("He's not the only one...")

On the battlefield, little Meowtle's eyes widened as he realized what Squirtle was. "Mommy!" he cried, running towards her.

Meowth sighed unhappily. "Come on, Meowth," Jesse called to him. "We have to take Arbok and Weezing to the PokeCenter!"