Ash had an idea. An awful idea. The hopeful pokemon master had a terrible, awful idea....

Naturally he had gotten it from watching TV, the root of all evil. In this week's episode of Reawor, Team Mafia found themselves forced to deal with their rivals, Bobby and Cindy--the "other" Team Mafia. Cindy currently had a gun to the head of Bob, Adam's visually impaired friend, not to be confused with Cindy's partner Bobby.

"Jane, you know this girl?" asked Jeremy.

"She used to hang around me," Jane replied. "She was just jealous because I was prettier than she was."

"Same old Jane," said Cindy. She then shot Bob.

There was the sound of a camera shutter clicking. "These'll be the best pictures of gang violence I ever took!" said Tommy.

"Tommy, what's wrong with you?" asked Adam. "One of my best friends just got blown away by Team Mafia!!"

"Noo!" screamed Megan. "Bob, I love you!"

Ash's idea had very little to do with this animation tidbit that had somehow crept past the dubbing censors, but the wheels of creativity in his head started lurching about the same time that the episode's focus left Jeremy and Jane.

Meowth, Meowtle, and the ever nameless baby were also watching Reawor. Jeremy, Jane, and Barkly--their talking dog who's name seemed to change every other week--had just sent Bobby and Cindy to sleep with the fishes. "Now, Meowtle, Jesse and James don't believe in Mafiamore, so that's why we're going to tape this."

"Why?" asked Meowtle.

"Because dere's a rumor on the internet dat..." Meowth trailed off, noticing that instead of romantic music and heartfelt confessions, the image had jumped slightly and Jane had whipped out her trusty baseball bat. She and Jeremy were both blushing over something, and Barkly had apparently said something that merited getting hit upside the head with a baseball bat. "Dose Canadian bastards!"

Allison looked away from the horror that was "Saved By the Bell: The New Class" and down at her hand. "Clay?"

"Shh, I'm trying to do math," Clay replied. "How old are your parents?"

"34. But Clay--"

"And how old are you?"

"17. And who cares? We've got bigger--"

Clay stood up. "I'm going to get a calculator," he announced. "How'd they meet again?"

"They told me it was at the Under the Sea dance." She rolled her eyes. "Some crap about how that was their first kiss, blah blah blah, grandpa nearly ran over dad with the car, yadda yadda yadda...now freaking tell me why I'm transparent!"

"Well, Allison, you tend to follow certain predictable behavior patterns, plus you can't lie worth a damn," Clay began.

Allison held up her rapidly fading left hand. "I meant this, you idiot!" she snapped.

"Hmmm...that's not good," said Clay. "This can only mean one thing..."

"We've switched genres?"

Her partner nodded. "I take it you forgot your 'outside the time stream' belt? So I'm going to have to fix the space-time contineum all by myself. Could you be more selfish?"

Allison glared at him. "Oh, well excuse me for fading!"

"What're you screaming about now?" asked Jesse, walking into the room half asleep and still in her nightgown.

"Canada lied to me," said Meowth. "And someone stole what's-her-face."

"What?! Meowth, if I have to have a pokemon battle for my own daughter..."

"What's gone wrong with our lives now?" asked James.

"Meowth let someone steal our daughter."

"What?!"

Before Jesse and James could blame Meowth and before Meowth could try to turn this into a valuable lesson on parental responsibility, Clay and Allison entered, looking especially wraith like. "We need a really big favor," said Allison.

"Since we seem to be fading out of existance, could you try to remember us and figure out why?" asked Clay. "*Someone* apparently left her 'outside the time stream' belt back in--"

"Prime directive!" snapped Allison, cutting him off.

"Oh, screw the prime directive! We're fading out of existance!!"

"Yeah, looks like the OTTS belt did *you* a lot of good..."

"You know OTTS belts can't stop fading out of existance!"

"Do you have any idea what this is about?" asked Jesse.

James and Meowth shook their heads.

"Ash Ketchum, did you ever consider the fact that this is illegal?" asked Misty.

"Team Rocket steals from us all the time!" Ash replied.

"Yes, but they're evil! And they admit to doing illegal things!"

"It's not illegal..."

"Kidnapping is so illegal!! And shouldn't you have gotten Pikachu back while we were there?"

Meanwhile, Clay opened his eyes and found himself back in Rocket headquarters, listening to the day's plan. "Allison, are you feeling all right?" he asked, massaging his temples. "This plan of yours doesn't seem to involve any..." He looked at the woman with green hair sitting across from him. "You're not Allison..."

"Who's Allison?" the green haired girl asked. "And the Boss wants to see us."

"Wonderful," Clay muttered. The woman who was apparently his partner now turned on the video phone. On the screen appeared what Clay was used to seeing--man and woman in shadows, that awful smartass persian, and...He stared at the pikachu. This is going to take some major fixing he thought. After the feeble praise for their latest haul of pokemon, he found himself trudging towards the nearest Poke-center. "Could you tell me who you're supposed to be?" he asked the green haired girl.

"Stop it, Clay," she said. "It was funny the first time, but..."

He looked closely at her, his jaw dropping as he realized who she was. "Oh my god...what happened to your hair?"

"What's wrong with it?" she asked.

"It's normal! And I couldn't get a better partner than my little sister?!"

"Why wouldn't my hair be normal?"

"God, Sundance, because you got Allison mad at you, and she gave you the dye job from hell!" He sighed. "Even though Mom warned you never to get anyone in that family mad then let them near your hair..."

Sundance, who probably would have been happy to have been nameless, only stared at him. "Clay, are you feeling all right?" she asked. "Maybe we should ask the Boss for some time off..."

Clay shook his head as they entered the Poke-Center, guns out and ready. "No, I'm fine. Just a bit--" The Joy behind the counter gave him another reason to stare. She was dressed like all the others and her hair was in those stupid loops, but it was purple. Her blue eyes were also full of boredom as a group of moron trainer kids questioned her.

"Are you related to the Nurse Joy in Viridian City?" asked one of them.

"No, I'm not," Nurse Joy who looked very much like Allison replied. "Do I look like Nurse Joy from Viridian City?"

"Well...no...but your hair's the same."

Nurse Joy/Allison rolled her eyes. "Oh, there's a good DNA test right there...now get out. I'm sure your caterpie--"

"It's a clefairy..."

"Whatever. It'll be fine."

Clay watched the children leave, then saw Nurse Joy/Allison stuff their pokeballs into her pockets. "And the waiver they signed said caterpie," she said to herself, laughing.

"Allison!" Clay exclaimed, holding open his arms. "You didn't fade out of existance!"

"Clay, that's Nurse Joy!" snapped Sundance. "And we're supposed to be stealing pokemon from her!"

"Steal your own pokemon!" Joy/Allison replied.

Back in the present..."Dis is all because you two were negligent parents!" snapped Meowth. "I'm turning you in!"

Meowtle stood between Meowth and Jesse and James, hugging the latter's knees. "Be nithe!" he said.

"And you," said Meowth, turning to glare at Vaporeon. "You tried to keep them away from us!"

Vaporeon looked disdainfully at Meowth and Meowtle. "What about you?" she asked. "Going after a magikarp next?"

Meowth glared at her. "You're just jealous because I never called you," he said.

Vaporeon shrugged. "I don't have opposable thumbs," she said, holding up a paw. "I can barely hold a phone. And I got on with my life just fine..."

"Den what're you doing here with dem?"

"They had rare candy...and they gave me TM 13." Vaporeon looked at the ground. "No one...ever gave me a TM before..."

Meowth raised an eyebrow. "When you say TM..."

"I mean it literally."

"Sorry...you know Jesse and James..."

"Not that well, apparently..."

Jesse looked up at her partner, her eyes wobbly. "I can't believe this happened," she said.

If the narrator hadn't been channeling all her angsty feelings and been extremely happy as she wrote this, James would probably have hugged his partner tightly and tried to reassure her as they both cried silently while tragic music played. But since this thing is supposed to be funny, James just hugged his partner tightly and was about to get to the reassurance part when Clay stormed in, dragging the Nurse Joy style Allison and followed by Sundance. "Look at what those stupid Pikachu brats did to my partner!" he snapped.

"Who're you?" asked Jesse, James, Meowth, and Meowtle.

Clay sighed. "Yes, this probably will take some explanation..." He then noticed Vaporeon. "How come you didn't fade out of existance?"

The water pokemon shrugged. "I'm special?" she asked. "And someone always manages to escape fading out somehow."

"Well, whatever," said Clay. "Then you can help me explain..."

"Explain what?" asked Sundance, glaring at her brother. "And she's not your partner; she's just some stupid Nurse Joy you have the hots for!"

"Who are these people and why do they seem to be taking up so much of our time?" asked Jesse.

James shrugged. "Maybe it'll stop soon," he said.

"I doubt it," Jesse muttered. "Someone seems to have forgotten that we're Team Rocket around here!"

"Speaking of Team Rocket, Jess, how did we explain the past few months to the Boss?"

"Oh, who cares? Let's just fight off these idiots..."

Sundance had been pondering something for quite some time. "Clay, what are you doing?" she asked. "You know who they are! If we mess up the space-time continuum--"

"Shut up, Sundance, it already got messed up," snapped Clay. He sighed. "This Nurse Joy is...used to be my partner Allison. When we were last here we faded out of existance, which is why you don't remember us."

"Faded out of existance?" asked James.

"We're from the future," said Clay. "Allison and I came here because...well...we sort of majorly offended the head of Team Rocket...so we decided to hide back in time until we could think of a good excuse..."

"Why didn't you just go back and fix it?" asked Jesse.

"Time travel?" exclaimed Sundance. "Clay, if the Boss finds out about this--"

"She's not going to find out," said Clay. "And if you tell her, I'm going to what Allison would've done if those brats hadn't...done something!"

"What do dose pests have to do with dis freaky Joy?" asked Meowth.

"I'm freaky?" Allison asked, whacking him upside the head with her hat.

"And since my dear, dear sister probably isn't going to help me with this," said Clay, glaring at Sundance.

Sundance folded her arms across her chest. "Do you have any idea how illegal this is?" she asked. "We're going back right now or I'm telling the Boss!"

"Can I go now?" asked Allison. "I've got work to do."

Clay pulled out a hair brush out of nowhere and went to work on Allison. "How could you go out in public like this?" he asked.

"It's just for work," she replied. "We have a dress code, you know."

"Look, can you three just help me?" asked Clay.

"Let me get something straight," said Jesse. "You're from the future,"

"But all of your cultural references are from the 20th century," finished James.

Vaporeon rolled her eyes. "Haven't you ever watched Star Trek?" she asked. "There is no culture in the future!"

Jesse and James nodded thoughtfully. "All right, that makes sense," said Jesse. "But what's in it for us?"

Clay thought for a moment. "I have to go to the bathroom. Jesse, James, come with me. Meowth, Meowtle, make sure my sister doesn't rat on me and that Allison doesn't run off."

"I'm not Allison!" snapped Allison, her hair now shoulder length and hanging half in her face.

"Very subtle," said Jesse, once they were alone.

"You aren't going to bribe us with sexual favors are you?" asked James. He was hiding behind Jesse.

"Hmmm...that's a good idea--no," snapped Clay. "Look, there is no way I'm going back to a future where my other reality partner works in a Poke-Center and my actual partner is my little sister!"

"Ewww," said Jesse and James.

"Exactly. Now just help me, or I'll be forced to blow your minds with information about your futures."

Jesse and James stared at him with wide-eyed amazement. "We have futures?" asked Jesse.

"I always assumed we'd be dead by 40," said James.

Clay shrugged. "Well, you could be," he said. "But in my time...look, how about a nice bribe? Everyone likes bribes!"

"How much?" asked Jesse.

Clay reached into his pocket and pulled out a stack of bills, which he handed to Jesse. "Now why don't you go talk to Sundance...I'm sure you two'll get along just fine," he said, pushing Jesse out the door. Once she was gone, he turned back to James. "Bribe or threat?"

"Do you have any more money?"

"No."

"Threat."

Clay handed him a OTTS belt. "Help me or I'll make *your* partner fade out of existance."