Jesse looked suspiciously at Allison. "So, you're my daughter from the
future?" she asked.
"I really don't know what he's talking about," said Allison.
"Why don't you tell us about yourself," said Meowth.
"I enjoy fashion, theft, crossdressing, and fem-boys."
"Dat's enough of a DNA test for me," Meowth announced. Jesse kicked him.
Meanwhile..."You won't do it," said James. "If what you say is true,
then your partner will fade out of existance with Jesse."
"Got that belt on?" asked Clay. James nodded. Clay flickered slightly,
then reappeared. "And this time, for the sake of convenience, we won't fade
out and reappear elsewhere. Very Back to the Future." He thought for a
moment. "Unless I've done something that would cause me to not exist at
all...oh well!"
"What did you do?"
"You, Cassidy, and Jesse were all at Pokemon Tech at the same time," said
Clay. "I just...switched a few things around...look, if I start vanishing,
I'm going to need you to go back in time and undo a few things..."
James gave him a look similar to the one Meowth had received during "The
Problem with Paras." "Switched things around?" he asked. "Hasn't that been
done before?"
"Oh, quit whining," said Clay, stepping into the next room. "I needed to
make it work some--who the hell are you?" he screamed, staring in utter
horror at a blonde with bad hair, big ugly earrings, and a strand of hair
that hung in her face.
She rolled her eyes. "I'm your sister, remember?" she asked. "And you
know the Boss is going to disown us if she finds out about this!"
"Okay, Bad Reality Sister, the Boss can't disown us. Je--who's the Boss
of Team Rocket?"
"Clay, are you feeling all right?" She sighed. "Look, you can bring
your new boyfriend back with us, okay?"
"I'm not his boyfriend!" whined James. "I could do so much better!"
"James, I think it's time we started fixing things," said Clay. "Because
you've apparently become the father of my little sister. Now, let's--"
"I'm three years older than you," said Clay's New Reality Sister.
"Whatever," muttered Clay. "Now, James, can we start unraveling this
little mess?"
"We're finding Jesse first," said James.
"Mm. Well, as lovely an idea as that is, **she doesn't know us!**"
"You said you just switched--"
"Well, when I say switched, I kind of meant that I also made it so you
two...never met."
"What?!" James was starting to feel a headache coming on. "How?"
Clay smiled. "It was quite brilliant, actually," he said. "I convinced
her that someone of her beauty and talents would only be smothered at a
place like Pokemon Tech. So we took a trip to Pallet Town."
James turned to Clay's sister and pulled a picture out of thin air.
"Have you ever seen this woman? But with clothes on?"
"You still have that?" asked Clay.
Clay's sister rolled her eyes. "Duh," she said. "She's the Sunny Town
Gym leader..."
"Sunny Town?" asked Clay. "There's a gym in Sunny Town?" He then looked
at James. "And *Jesse* is a gym leader? And why Sunny Town?"
James punched Clay in the arm. "Jesse could be a gym leader!"
"Well...yes...if not for the fact that her pokemon suck!"
"We don't even know what pokemon she has!"
"Reeeow," muttered Clay's sister. "Clay, I told you, you and your
boyfriend need to wrap this up so..."
Clay grabbed James by the scalp and dragged him in the direction of his
sister. "Does he look at all familiar to you?" he asked.
Clay's sister's eyes widened. "You sick bastard!" she exclaimed. "You
stole him from Mom!"
Clay sighed. "Well, no, Sundance, since we're in the past...now we're
going to Sunny Town because *someone* thinks that a girl he's never
technically met can help us." Clay coughed. "Although I think that this
excuse is as believable as the idea that the French just use those two hour
lunches for eating..."
James glared at him. "I don't know her, remember?"
"Yes, but it's Jesse..."
Thanks to the magic of one of TR's various vehicles, James and Clay were
soon standing in Sunny Town's apparent gym. "How effective is an OTTS
belt?" asked James.
"I gave you one of our special Continuity Lapse versions," said Clay.
"Which is why you're still wearing your old uniform."
James nodded. "So I should still have my old pokemon..."
"Why wouldn't--"
"I assume you're here to challenge me?" asked Jesse, stepping into the
light and holding up a pokeball.
"Yes, I'm here for my...uhm...Sunny Badge?" said Clay, smiling broadly.
"Actually, we need a favor," said James, stepping in front of him and
approaching Jesse slowly.
"What's the favor and what's in it for me?" Jesse asked.
"We need a plan," James replied. "That flaming mimbo messed up the
space-time continuum."
Jesse's eyes widened. "I remember you now!" she said to Clay. She
turned back to James. "Are you telling me I could have been rich and famous
if not for him?"
"Uhm..." James looked at the floor. "Well..." Rich and famous in that
living in a ditch, so poor we have to steal gum way he added silently.
"Leader of Team Rocket good enough for you?" asked Clay. "Now, I'm going
to start charging the time machine..."
"Leader of Team Rocket?!" James asked.
Clay nodded. "All right...and...how can the battery be low?" he
screamed. "There wasn't an Allison to freaking kill the batteries!!"
"So, you seeing anyone?" James asked.
"Why do you ask?" Jesse replied.
James shrugged. "Just making conversation."
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
He stared at her in shock. "Why do you ask?"
"Just making conversation."
"You know...I'm a gym leader too..."
"Really?"
James smiled suavely. "So...you want to go in the back room and earn
your--"
"She doesn't!" snapped Clay. "She just met you and we have to go fix
this crap! We still haven't fixed the original junk that we needed to fix!"
"You be quiet. So, Jess, what kind of pokemon do you have?" asked James.
"I have a sedra, a bellsprout, a metapod, a raichu, and a nidoking," said
Jesse.
James and Clay stared at her. "Really?" asked James.
Clay shuddered. "This is the most disturbing coincidence I've ever
seen..."
Jesse laughed evilly. "The raichu is something I stole from Professor
Oak...it was one of his most powerful pokemon. Shame he couldn't provide
the thunderstone..."
"Jesse, I love you," said James, taking her hands. "Now let's go take
that raichu to the Boss..."
Jesse blinked several times. "What are you talking about?" she asked.
Clay rolled his eyes. "She's not in Team Rocket and you weren't given
the assignment to steal the crappy Pikachu because the Pikachu was stolen
before that twerp could get it!" he snapped.
"Am I in Team Rocket?" James asked him, still naturally holding Jesse's
hands.
"Yes..."
"Is Giovanni the boss of Team Rocket?"
"Uh...probably?"
"Isn't it still a rare pikachu?"
"Technically I think it's a raichu..."
"You're not taking my pokemon anywhere," Jesse snapped. For some reason,
she felt like she should hit him...
"What's going on?"
James and Clay both turned to see Mondo, naturally dressed in street
clothes. James glared at Clay. "I hope you fade out of existance," he
said.
"Fine by me," said Clay. "Could this *be* more complicated?"
"These challengers aren't bothering you, are they, Jesse?" asked Mondo.
"Nothing I can't handle," Jesse replied. "This is my partner Mondo," she
added, turning to James and Clay.
"And I'm sure he'd love to help us!" said Clay. "Now, does anyone have
any size N batteries?"
"They make size N batteries?" asked Mondo.
"Jesse does," James muttered before going on to think thoughts like, If I
kill him, he'll come back to life once we've fixed everything...
"Jesse, could you make with the size N batteries?" asked Clay.
"What would you even use size N batteries for?" Mondo asked.
"Vibrators, cameras, small Reawor toys, and portable time machines,"
snapped Clay. "And one of those things better be battery free in the next
two minutes or we're going to have to continue leading our warped little
lives!"
James glared at him. "You were the idiot who got us into this mess," he
said.
"And you were the idiot who let something happen to my partner which
created this mess!" snapped Clay. There was an awkward silence. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"This is where you're supposed to keep yelling at me!"
"Why?" James asked, sighing. "You're probably right."
Clay smacked his forehead. "So what? You should at least find something
about my appearence to insult or...don't you know how to freaking argue?!"
James shook his head. "Just as I suspected," said Clay, grabbing James by
the arm. "We're going to have to have meaningless sex to save this
partnership."
"But we're not partners," said James.
"James, I know what I'm talking about," said Clay. "Now, Allison
provided me with witty banter, her parents' credit cards, and the fact that
I only found her attractive in that creepy, transitive way. You, on the
other hand, have provided me with no banter and no credit cards, ergo--"
"Wait a minute...aren't those technically my credit cards?" James asked.
"Yes, but since you don't have them yet..." Clay sighed again. "You
know, Allison would've been willing to sleep with me by now..."
Jesse and Mondo exchanged a glance. "No, they're not much of a threat,"
Jesse said. "Even though they do look cute together..."