Dedication: This is for my friends Ophelia and Hecate. Good luck, you guys!
Disclaimer: St. Valentine's Day belongs to St. Valentine, Hallmark, the Catholic Church, and anyone with love in their hearts and other such Care Bears crap. Jesse, James, and Meowth belong to people in various hemispheres who are not me. I wish the outfit James puts on belonged to me, only in black instead of red.
Rating: Smutty, but nothing overly explicit. So, about the same as everything else on this page.
Other: Hey, buckaroos, an unbeta'd Valentine's Day gift for everyone!Yes, Zelda's actually written another delightful little Team Rocket romp, despite previous whinings of lack of inspiration!(Loneliness and material stolen directly from my stand-up act!) As for implausibility, I've found to my chagrin that I have almost if not the exact same shoe size as guys my height. Put that on the back burner...
It’s was Valentine’s Day again, one of the more depressing days for those forced to cop cheap feels whenever possible. Or in situations of certain death, which didn’t really count because it was damned hard to enjoy a cheap feel while fearing for one’s life. Still, James had found something to bring a smile to his face and a similar reaction elsewhere. He may not have found Mr. or Ms. Right yet, but he had found Jesse’s large collection of lingerie.
James considered himself a professional cross-dresser. And as long as it was work related, nice, cute dresses were perfectly tax deductable and often paid for by Team Rocket. Giovanni had, unfortunately, put his foot down on the majority of accessories, despite James’ protests that he needed to be prepared for sudden gusts of wind and boxer briefs would ruin the disguise. Giovanni’s argument was that Jesse and James’ budget of quickly destroyed mechanical devices and assorted drag did not have room for unmentionables. Disappointed as he was, it had occurred to James that he did spend most of his time with a real girl who naturally had to have a ready supply of lacy underthings. Judging from her boots, she also seemed like the kind of girl with an adequately kinky collection.
While on any other day wearing Jesse’s bra and panties under his uniform could easily cheer him up, James had realized that he needed to use the big guns. Fortunately, an opportunity had presented itself. Jesse and Meowth had found another excuse to exchange words—most of them obscenities and threats that would make a trucker faint—and James had found the perfect opportunity to rifle through Jesse’s things. After stealing her mascara, he’d somehow managed to find something suitably red and lacy.
Ducking into one of that night’s cabin’s back rooms, he locked the door behind him and started to strip. That Jesse happened to have a red lace chemise, matching panties, and thigh high red boots seemed a bit suspicious. James’ eyes narrowed as he pulled on the ensemble. She was probably planning to meet someone. Despite spending most of the day whining about how no one appreciated her, she was going to sneak out for a passionate tryst! James started to pout as he thought over the possibilities. It was probably that bitch Cassidy.
James found himself hating the blonde for reasons he didn’t quite understand that were most likely connected to the same reason he enjoyed stealing Jesse’s underwear. Even though Jesse denied everything, he still had a strong suspicion that she and Cassidy had done something together.
It wasn’t fair, he decided as he zipped up the boots (by another remarkable and marginally implausible coincidence, he and Jesse had the same shoe size). He was a prettier girl than Cassidy could ever be.
After that telling thought, something occurred to James: there was no mirror in the room. “Dammit,” he whined. He was just about to grab his clothes and scurry towards the bathroom to pose for himself when he heard a knock on the door.
“James, what are you doing in there?” snapped Jesse. “I need you to help me talk some sense into Meowth!”
James hesitated for a moment. Jesse’s interpreatation of “talk some sense into” usually involved either kicking or stomping. He looked down. He was wearing the perfect footwear for both kicking and stomping. Plus they made his calves look absolutely gorgeous. Of course, if Jesse saw him wearing her boots, she would probably talk some sense into him. James’ mouth twitched into a perverse grin. He had a feeling he’d enjoy it more than Meowth could. Especially if she let him keep her lingerie on…and tied his hands behind his back. Then took off the panties she was wearing and used them as a gag.
“James!” Jesse snapped, tugging James away from his BDSM filled reverie. “Open the door!”
On her side, Jesse sighed in disgust. She didn’t want to think about what he was doing in there. It was bad enough she was alone on Valentine’s Day with only another day of failure, a talking bastard of a cat, a drag queen, and a bag of conversation hearts to comfort her. Now the drag queen was ignoring her. She heard the lock click. Snarling slightly, Jesse kicked the door open. James was fully dressed at least, but something seemed a bit off. The first thing Jesse noticed was the fact that he wasn’t wearing a shirt under his jacket. The second thing…
“Are those my boots?” she asked, looking at a pair of red platforms that did not look like standard Team Rocket issue.
“No,” James said quietly.
Jesse lunged forward, grabbing him by the collar. “James, my day sucked and you stole my lucky boots?”
“If they’re so lucky, maybe you should wear them when we try to steal pokemon,” James muttered.
“What?!”
“Nothing, Jess…and you have boots like this? What a coincidence! Me too!” James had a feeling he was going to start babbling soon. He decided he had ample reason to. He’d just been caught stealing Jesse’s clothes and was probably about to be severely punished for it. He had to resist the urge to smile. This was turning out to be the highlight of his day.
“Did you steal anything else from me?” Jesse asked. Her eyes were getting that familiar dangerous gleam.
James was afraid of getting hit. Mostly because he didn’t think he could pretend he didn’t like it. “No…”
Jesse glanced down. She raised an eyebrow as she realized how little her partner’s pants hid. She was about to comment when she noticed what he was wearing under his jacket. “This is mine too!”
“Uhm…what a coincidence?” James tried. He could tell from Jesse’s statement that she wasn’t buying it.
Jesse pushed him away, then turned around. Putting a hand to her forehead, she struggled to regain multiple levels of composure. She knew she at least needed to figure out whether to kill him or jump him. “What did I tell you about stealing my underwear?” she asked.
“You’ve never caught me before,” James whined, holding his arms over his chest as if afraid of being exposed despite the fact that he was male and still wearing a jacket. He paled as his partner whirled around. She was probably going to beat him senseless in the bad way.
“Give it back,” Jesse snapped, crossing her arms. “And what kind of cross-dresser are you? Don’t you have any of your own damn clothes?”
James stood up and took off his jacket. “I like yours better?” he hazarded.
Jesse glared at him. She tried to keep her statement angry as the jacket hit the floor and James unzipped his pants. Even so, she could feel herself starting to stare.
James blushed as he stepped out of his pants. He pulled the chemise down in a futile attempt at modesty and started wondering what he should demurely cover up first, mostly because Jesse’s eyes were currently skimming over the majority of his body. His eyes widened as he looked over Jesse’s shoulder.
There was a strangled scream from the doorway. Jesse turned around, realizing she was going to have to do a lot of explaining in a few seconds. “What da hell are you doing?” Meowth screeched.
Jesse and James exchanged a glance. “It’s for tomorrow’s plan,” they said in unison.
“What kind of plan is dis?” the cat screamed at them.
“Better than anything you could think of,” Jesse replied before marching over and slamming the door in his face.
“Dat’s because I’m not a pervert!”
Jesse locked the door, then turned back to her partner. James was staring at her, looking slightly confused. She didn’t blame him. She wasn’t quite sure what had just happened, but she did know that slamming the door had seemed like the right thing to do a few seconds ago, and Jesse always believed in the importance of appearances. She would have rationalized further, but James’ current appearance seemed to be affecting her ability to think.
“Jesse?” James asked cautiously. “Are you still mad at me?”
Jesse gave him a slightly chilling smile, then walked over to him in quick strides. Before James could react or at least scream like a girl, Jesse pushed him up against the wall and kissed him. James almost immediately responded, after quickly thanking any deities that came to mind. Once Jesse pulled away, he leaned back towards her, but she stopped him with a gloved finger on his lips. “James,” she said softly, “you wouldn’t happen to own a black corset, a garter belt, fishnet stockings, black high heels, and a pearl necklace, would you?”
“No…” James said, giving her a puzzled look.
Jesse stepped away from him and started to walk towards the door. “Put some clothes on,” she snapped. She paused, giving him a coy look over her shoulder. “We’re going shopping.”