The next day was a bright, happy morning, full of promise of fine adventures to come. Allison sat up and was extremely relieved to find herself in her own bed. She immediately looked to the left to make sure she was the only one there. "Yes!" she cheered when she found out she was. "Clay! Get in here! We were chaste for once!"

Clay entered, also looking extremely giddy over this news. "Allison, there is a god. And not that spiteful bastard who's been ruining our lives! A beautiful merciful god who lets fortune smile upon us and appears in syndication to let us know Her love five days a week!"

Allison sighed. "Dammit, Clay, if you're going to convert to Oprahism, I'm never speaking to you again."

"Al, my dear partner, we didn't have sex with each other last night. Why quibble about religion?" Clay asked.

"Did we even get drunk last night?" Allison wondered aloud.

"Oh, what does that matter?" Clay replied. "You know us. More specifically, you know the treacherous blue dog..."

Allison nodded. "Maybe if we get her pregnant, she'll leave us alone!"

"Good call. Come on, let's go find a persian or something."

Allison stood up and began searching for her uniform on the floor of her bedroom. "I did have the strangest dream last night..."

"That we had sex with Ash and that you had sex with Brock and I had sex with Tracey?" Clay asked in a flat tone.

Allison stared at him in amazement. "How did you--"

"It really happened."

"Dammit!" Allison screamed, kicking one of her boots into the wall. "There is no Oprah!"

Elsewhere, three other members of Team Rocket were plotting mischief of their own. Jesse yawned. “Can we just give up and go back to bed?” she asked.

James glared at her. “You were gone awfully late last night,” he said.

“So? It’s not like we’re joined at the hip or anything.”

“You’re not?” Meowth asked. Jesse stomped on him.

James went from glaring to pouting. "What were you doing?" he asked.

"I was...working on today's plan."

"Which is?" a very battered Meowth asked.

Jesse started to blush. "We're digging a hole..."

“How long does it take to plan that?” whined James.

Jesse backhanded him. “Do you want it done fast or do you want it done right?”

“How many wrong ways are there to dig a hole?” her partner protested.

“A lot,” Meowth screeched. “And you two morons have found every one of dem!”

Just then, Ash and friends appeared over the horizon. “Hey, is that…oh,” Ash said with a sigh. “It’s just Team Rocket…” Misty’s eyes lit up.

“Prepare for trouble,” said Jesse, yawning again.

“Make it double,” added James. “And what do you mean ‘just Team Rocket’?”

“He means that you two are pathetic,” Misty replied with a slightly lecherous smirk.

“That’s it, little girl!” Jesse snapped. “We’re going behind those bushes to solve this!”

“Do you need any help, Jess?” asked James.

“I can handle the little twerp by myself, James.”

Jesse and Misty vanished into the all concealing shadows. Brock and Tracey exchanged a glance. “I’d better go see if there’s any pokemon that I need to draw in the all concealing bushes,” Tracey said.

Brock nodded. “Be sure to capture every detail of the rare pokemon. Every detail.”

“What?” asked Ash. “I thought Misty and Jesse were having wild—mmmphh!”

“Kids today,” said Brock, looking nervously at James while he kept a hand over Ash’s mouth.

“Ooo! Look, Al! My sweet baboo! And he’s alone!”

“Not quite,” Allison muttered as they appeared.

“Mistress Al!” Brock exclaimed.

“Hi, Mistress Mini-Moon!” added Ash.

"Oh, yeah, Al, they won't remember a thing," Clay muttered as Ash hugged his knees.

"Chu?" asked a very confused Pikachu.

James was also staring at Ash and Clay. He was jealous despite himself, especially since he had a feeling that the balance of sexual power in the form of random hook-ups had swung Jesse’s way. Besides, he was supposed to be the sexiest man in all of the Pokemon Islands, dammit! “Get your hands off him!” he shouted at Ash. “He’s my stalker!”

Clay’s eyes began to glow with a disturbing blend of horniness and adoration. “You really do care!” he squealed. He attempted to leap at James, but was tripped by Ash.

Allison shuddered as Clay began to kiss James’ boots. “This couldn’t get any worse,” she said as she noticed that James didn’t seem at all bothered by this. He was in fact looking smugly in the all concealing bushes direction.

“Prepare for trouble and make it double!” shouted two familiar voices.

“Hello again,” said Butch.

“We were going to call, but we figured it was only a matter of time before we ran into you again,” said Cassidy as both she and her partner slid an arm around Allison.

“Well, I think that ties up all the loose ends,” said Brock.

“You hypocritical whore!” snapped Clay. He scraped Ash off his legs and managed to stand up. “I’ve had enough of your double standards!”

“Butchiekins, Cassie dear, why don’t you tell me about our little encounter since I was drunk out of my mind at the time,” suggested Allison.

Clay grabbed James by the collar. “We have to have sex right now,” he said. “Allison needs her comeuppance!”

Butch shrugged. “It was just your standard threesome…” he said.

Cassidy leered at Allison. “You were almost as good as Jesse,” she said.

“What do you mean ‘almost as good’ as me?” Jesse shouted, looking up. Her hair was now severely out of place.

“What about me?” asked Misty, her head also becoming visible. Her hair looked basically the same.

“Did I tell you to stop?” snapped Jesse.

“You were with Cassidy?”

“That was years ago.” Jesse’s eyes narrowed. “When were you with her?”

“None of your business!”

Things were starting to click in James’ head...

“Sorry, Misty,” said Cassidy. “You just don’t have what it takes.”

“You mean breasts?” asked Butch.

“Hey!” snapped Misty. “I have breasts!”

“Where?” asked another voice from behind the bushes.

“Tracey, I told you to stop spying on me!”

“That little twerp is spying on us?” screamed Jesse.

“Now, no one can compare with Jesse,” said Cassidy, giving one of Allison’s breasts a playful squeeze. “Still, Allie doesn’t make too poor a showing…”

James’ eyes met Clay’s. “Let’s go give Je—uhm, Allison her comeuppance,” he said.

“I don’t think I’m in the mood anymore,” Clay said with a shudder.

Cassidy sighed, clearly still mentally comparing. “Uhm…can you let go of me now?” asked Allison.

“Jesse was a much better threesome partner,” Butch continued. “Still, beggars can’t be choosers…”

“What can I say?” asked Jesse, standing up and pulling her clothing back into place. “They’re real and they’re fantastic!”

“Butch?” James asked, realizing that all comeuppance opportunities were quickly slipping out of his grasp.

Butch thought for a moment. It had been about four hours…”What the hell?” he said. “Is there any room left in the bushes?”

“Yes,” said Misty, glaring at Jesse. “Your body isn’t that good!”

“Can you get rid of him first?” asked James, pointing to Tracey.

“He’s your problem now,” Misty muttered.

Jesse noticed Allison’s traumatized look and decided to misinterpret it. “Don’t feel bad,” she said. “Not everyone can measure up to me.”

Cassidy glared at her. “You’re so vain, Jesse,” she said. “I’m much better looking than you are…”

“You could compare,” Brock said.

Jesse and Cassidy looked at him, evil smiles spreading across their faces. “That’s an excellent idea,” said Jesse.

Cassidy nodded. “We’ve got three judges right here…”

“Meowth is goin’ home,” said Meowth. He didn’t move or even look away.

“Three?” asked Clay and Allison.

Jesse and Cassidy nodded. “You two and Brock.”

The next generational Rockets looked at each other. “God hates us,” said Allison as they fear hugged despite themselves.

"Oprah, why have you forsaken me?" Clay pleaded to the heavens.

“Clay, maybe we should take the mature approach,” said Allison. “There’s nothing wrong with nudity…nudity is a natural thing. We’re older now…it shouldn’t scar us for life…”

“Shouldn’t it, Allison? Shouldn’t it?” Clay sighed. “Although, in some cultures, this is perfectly normal.”

“Yes.”

“Shame we don’t belong to one of those cultures…”

"There are two of them though...we can just avoid looking directly at one of them..."

"But they both have breasts!" Clay whined.

"Anyone have some rare candy for dese two?" asked Meowth.

Clay and Allison thought for a moment. Unlike the large majority of rare candy users, they seemed to be the only ones affected to a degree where they'd screw shards of glass..."Electra?" Clay asked.

"Yes, Oedipus?" Allison replied.

"This is karma."

Meowth's eyes were starting to glaze over as Jesse and Cassidy slowly stripped, both girls looking each other up and down. "It's all right, Cassidy," said Jesse. "There's nothing wrong with hanging around me just because I'm so much prettier than you."

Cassidy's eyes narrowed. She then looked at Misty. "She is a bit prettier than you," Misty replied in a quiet voice.

Cassidy looked back at Jesse, who shrugged. "Butch, is there room for three more back there?" Cassidy called to her partner.

"Sure," Butch replied.

"The more the merrier!" James added.

Ash watched as Jesse, Cassidy, and Misty disappeared behind the bushes. He couldn't decide if he had any innocence left to be corrupted. Tracey, official voyeur and orgy-artist, had repositioned himself so he wouldn't be seen by those in the bushes. Not that they seemed to care. Brock and Meowth walked over to the artist. "Can I get a copy of dat?" asked Meowth.

"You know, Allison, I've learned something these past few days," Clay said as they prepared to flee.

"I just learned that Jesse's a screamer," Allison said in a small, pathetic voice. "Or was that James?"

"No, I think that one's James," said Clay. "And I've learned something else. Do you know why we get into these situations?"

Allison thought for a moment. "Because we're irresponsible substance abusers who only came to this decade because the laws are far more lenient?"

Clay burst out laughing. "Oh, Al, as long as the narrator's a college student, we're never going to learn anything like that!" He cleared his throat in a feeble attempt to recover from blatant fourth wall breaking. "No, what I learned was that we need to look past what's on the outside. Because underneath those flabby man boobs and scrawny little boy bodies and...well, I got no complaints about Brock..."

"He's short," Allison pointed out.

"Not where it counts, Al. Not where it counts. But underneath all those flaws are real living beings. Wretched, stupid living beings in some cases, but people just like you and me."

Tracey dropped his sketchpad and stood up, holding his arms out. "I love you too, Clay!" he shouted, hugging the blonde.

"Don't touch me!" Clay shrieked.

"Actually, you two are a lot alike," Allison mused as Clay tried to struggle out of Tracey's grasp. "You both lust after older men...who are happily involved with women!"

"There's no proof of that," Tracey muttered.

"He's not older now!" Clay snapped back. "And right now he's involved with four people, one of whom is a man, so there!"

"Uhm, Clay...hypothetically speaking, of course, would you really want to have sex with someone your father had sex with?" Allison asked.

Clay glared at her. "Yeah, well--hypothetically speaking, of course--as of right now, you have!"

"I hypothetically had sex with him first!"

"With your father?" asked Brock, cringing.

"No!" Allison resisted the urge to hit him again. She was starting to enjoy it a bit too much.

Brock shrugged. "Well, I've seen you when you're drunk..."

Allison kicked him, having decided that that was in a whole different category of abuse. "Well, it could be worse," Clay said. "We could have had sex with our future selves." He smiled. "Wait, is that wrong?"

"Probably," Allison muttered.

"Do you think I'm still single in about...twenty years or so?"

"It wouldn't surprise me."

"Grea--hey! I'm a stud muffin, dammit!"

"Whatever," said Allison. She grimaced at the sound of more suspicious noises. "Clay, I am never going to be a sexually functioning adult ever again. Ever."

"Al, don't talk like that," Clay said. "We can still be sexually functioning adults, even though if I will never be able to think about sex again without painful convulsions."

Tracey and Brock exchanged a glance. "Prudes," they said in unison.

"Uhm...what do you guys think a prude is?" asked Ash.

"Let's go home and have some nice hot tea," Clay suggested to his partner.

Allison nodded weakly. "Who's your burly clefairy?" Butch rasped from behind the bushes.

"You are!" James moaned. "And I'm your studly luneon!"

"Tea should be relatively easy to vomit back up," Allison agreed.

"Well, who wants our pokemon?" asked Clay. "Because I'm never going to be able to even look at a clefairy again!"

"There's probably something nice and soothing on TV right now..."

"Yeah...what's on now?" asked Clay, looking at his watch.

"Well, it's 'All in the Family Week' on Jerry Springer..." said Allison.

"How about just tea?"

"Sounds good."

As the two fled, both of them still shuddering, Tracey shook his head. "They don't know what they're missing," he said.

"She wants me," Brock said smugly.

"I'm still confused," Ash announced.

Tracey and Brock exchanged a glance. "You'll understand someday, Ash," said Brock.

"Meowth, dat's right!" Meowth contributed. He paused to wipe the drool off his face. "Dose humans may have larger sex drives dan brains but it sure comes in handy sometimes!"

The three of them laughed Thundercats style. Ash started to think of a few more questions to ask Professor Oak when he got back to Pallet Town...