Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, and don't own the plot!

Rating: Hmmm...let's just say "joto purupuru aina" to that one...

Other:Enjoy it, kiddies. It contains the worst translation of the Team Rocket motto into Swahili out there! But I did look up actual verb conjugation for once! ::grins proudly:: And unless you can find me another example, it's also the *best* translation! Also, it's been at least a year since I've even seen TLK...

Meowth's day had just plain sucked. His beloved trainer Giovanni had just dumped him a persian, the same persian who, through the magic of poorly thought out cross-overs, was his evil uncle. By another strange coincidence, Persian had also stolen Meowth's childhood friend and obvious romantic interest Meowsie. Then, as if this hadn't been as painful as losing your father in a stampede, Giovanni had used his henchmen Butch, Cassidy, and Raticate to chase Meowth into exile.

The cat sighed. He was just about to give up when suddenly he noticed that in the middle of the desert, there was a jungle paradise! He ran towards it.

Meanwhile, in said jungle paradise, two people were enjoying their care free, far from civilization and responsibility existance. "Paradise my ass," said Allison. "Shouldn't there be cable?"

"Al, there's more to happiness than cable," said Clay.

"Fine. Shouldn't there be jungle studs?" asked Allison.

Clay gasped, his eyes starting to sparkle. "Jungle studs? Where?"

"There aren't any! We're stuck here alone with no jungle studs and no cable!"

They both sighed unhappily. "What're going to eat?" asked Clay.

"Well, since this seems to be the one jungle in existance without fruit or small animals, it's caterpillars," Allison said with understandable bitterness.

"I am not eating caterpillars again tonight!" Clay snapped. "You realize this is probably the best diet we'll ever go on..."

"Unless we die!"

"Excuse me..."

They both jumped to their feet at the sound of the voice. "Maybe it's a jungle stud!" they exclaimed.

Then Meowth appeared. "Hi, I'm an outcast..."

"Join the club," said Clay.

"I don't know what I did, but it must've been pretty bad..." Allison sighed. "Because I'm condemned to a life of eating caterpillars where the only man within 20 miles is Clay..."

"Allison, I've got three words that'll solve all your problems!" said Clay.

"No! I told you, that is not our motto!" snapped Allison.

"Joto purupuru aina..."

"God dammit, Clay!"

"But it's such a wonderful phrase..."

"Clay, it's bad enough I'm out here in the world's gayest jungle paradise..."

Clay rolled his eyes. "Oh, you think you're the first person I would've chosen to be stranded here with?"

"Yes, Clay, we all know who *you* want to be stranded with...and we all know who he wants to be stranded with and it isn't you!"

"Well it's not you either!"

"I don't care if it's not me!"

Meowth decided he would be better off if he took his chances with the desert...for one thing, the vultures who came to strip the meat from his bones probably wouldn't start arguing about...well, he wasn't really sure what, but he still knew it would be for the best if this little cameo was ended as soon as possible. As he started to collapse from heat stroke he gasped, "At least I'll die where it's quiet..."

"Hmm...I wonder what a meowth is doing out here," said a blue haired man. He and his red headed companion were both looking down at Meowth. He paused to kick aside an especially carnivorous Pidgey. "Maybe we should take it back with us..."

"James, what's wrong with you? Eventually it'll evolve into a persian..."

"But, Jesse, it's so cute and all alone...can we keep him?"

"No! Persians eat people like us!"

James stared at her. "No they don't..."

"I know that!" Jesse snapped. "But these stupid writers apparently don't..."

"And he's so little..."

"But he's going to get bigger!"

They both looked thoughtfully at Meowth for a few more minutes. "We might as well," said James. "It probably has heat stroke..." he added as he picked up Meowth.

Jesse shook her head. "It's worse than that," she said. "He's dead, Jim."

Upon reaching their secluded jungle paradise, they dropped Meowth into a small pool for "burial at sea purposes." "Is this water we normally drink?" asked James.

"Who cares? There's no way I'm digging any more holes," Jesse replied.

"Aaahhh!!" Meowth screamed. "I hate water!!"

Jesse and James screamed and hugged each other. "It's a ghost!" they yelled.

"I'm not dead yet!" screeched Meowth, scratching them across the face. "Now let's just get to the outcast stories!"

"We can't say anything," said Jesse.

"Until we've said our motto," added James.

"Mnawiva kwa matata!"

"Mnaunda yeye maradufu!"

"Tunadhibiti ardhi toka kumbo!"

"Tunaungana wote ndani dola!"

"Tunakataa shetani za yakini na mapenzi!"

"Tunatanda chetu enzi fika nyota kindakindaki!"

"Jesse!"

"James!"

"Kikoa Roketi, tunashuliwa katika haraka za nuru!"

"Mnakai sasa hivi ama mnawiva babaka!"

"Uhm...dat's an awfully long motto," Meowth said. "And what's it mean?"

"It means...prepare for trouble!" said Jesse, posing again.

"Make it double!" added James.

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jesse!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

Meowth was starting to wonder if he should go back to the first jungle paradise. "I don't think dat's going to catch on...now, outcast stories?"

"What's yours?" asked Jesse.

"It's too traumatic."

"Then only one of us has to tell our story!" Jesse said, smiling evilly. "James?"

"Why do I have to tell *my* story of shame and degradation?" asked James.

Jesse rolled her eyes. "Mine's practically the same freaking story of shame and degradation...only with much less crossdressing."

"You crossdress too! You just get away with it because no one cares if a woman wears pants!"

Meowth sighed. He was starting to wish he'd taken his chances with Clay and Allison...or the especially carnivorous pidgeys...

Time passed--how much actually passed can be argued over at a later time, especially since no one actually aged during this passage of time. Hell, in this version, Meowth doesn't even evolve...but still, time *had* passed and Jesse and James were currently foraging for dinner. Since Meowth wasn't with them, the hunt for caterpillars and non-poisonous berries had naturally been delayed...

"Mmm...hakuna matata, my orgasmic meerkat..."

"What the hell's a meerkat?"

"Meeowth!" yowled something, most likely a Meowth, from behind some bushes.

Jesse and James screamed and...well, they were already essentially hugging each other... A strange Meowth leapt out, snarling. Meowth leapt out of the bushes, discarding his camera, and started fighting off the intruder. Jesse and James, meanwhile, looked for their clothes. "What's this?" asked Jesse, picking up the camera.

"Well, Jesse, I'm afraid it's against the laws of physics for you to be topless without at least one camera nearby," said James, taking it from her and putting it in his pocket.

"Leave my blackmail alone!" snapped Meowth. The female meowth took advantage of his distraction to tackle meowth and pin him to the ground. Meowth looked up at her, his eyes widening. "Meowsie!"

"Meow?" asked Meowsie, taking a step backwards.

"Hmmm...now why would Meowth remember her if he didn't before?" asked Jesse.

"I don't think we want to know," said James.

"Meow meow!" said Meowsie. Her eyes lit up. "Meowth meow!" she exclaimed.

"What's she saying?" asked James.

"Uhm...nothing," said Meowth.

"Meowth meow meow meowth," Meowsie continued, looking nervously at Jesse and James.

"Meowsie wants to know if we can be alone," Meowth translated.

"Anything you want to say to him, you can say in front of us!" said James. "Especially since we can't actually understand Meowth..." Jesse whispered something to her partner about the benefits of leaving Meowth and Meowsie alone, most particularly the benefit of Meowth being distracted. "But I'm sure you have plenty of catching up to do!"

Meowth shuddered as Jesse and James giddily hurried away.

"Meow meow meowth," said Meowsie.

"Nobody needs me," said Meowth. "And I ain't goin' back dere!" He started blushing. "Unless, of course you'd be interested in--" Meowsie scratched him across the face. "Guess not..."

"Jesse, why are we spying on them?" whined James. "You told me--"

"Shh! James, don't you know what's going on?" Jesse asked.

"I know that we're watching Meowth instead of--"

"I can see what's happening," said Jesse. "And they don't have a clue...they'll fall in love and here's the bottom line--" They both winced as Meowth took another fury swipe across the face. "Our trio's down to two..."

"Jesse, Brock will get lucky before Meowth does..."

"The sweet caress of twilight," Jesse continued.

"There's magic everywhere," James agreed.

"And with all this romantic atmosphere..." They looked at each other.

"Poor Meowth..."

"Who?"

Meanwhile, Meowth had led Meowsie towards the romantic waterfall setting in the hopes of not ending up like Brock--alone and very, very desperate. "So...Meowsie," he said, hoping to sound suave and desirable. "Can you feel the love tonight?"

Meowsie rolled her eyes. "Meow meow meowth meow," she said.("I told you, you're not my type.")

"Den why did you come looking for me?"

"Meowth meow," Meowsie said, looking like she was going to cry.("Giovanni let Ash into Team Rocket.")

"What?!" exclaimed Meowth.

"Meow meowth!"("We need you!")

Meowth turned away from her. "Nobody needs me."

As he started walking away, she called out, "Meow meow meowth!"("You're not the Meowth I remember!")

"You're right, I'm not." He stomped off in the direction of the wide open field for the obligatory ghost scene, then stopped. It was going to be very hard to have an inspirational ghost moment if no one had actually died...so he was going to settle for finding Jesse and James. Just as he was starting to hear them in the distance and trying to keep his dinner of caterpillars and slightly toxic berries down, someone grabbed him by the arm.

"Oh, hello, Meowth!" said Professor Oak. "I'm looking for rare and unusual pokemon! Usually I'd get Ash to do it, but since he joined Team Rocket I don't have anyone to blindly follow my orders!"

"What is it?" asked Meowth.

"Well, the question is, who are you?"

"What? You know who I am!"

"Look inside yourself, Meowth...you are more than what you have become."

Meowth looked skeptically at him. "How? By dis cross-over's crazy logic, I left Team Rocket to live a care free, legal existance with Jesse and James...who aren't part of Team Rocket, even though they're wearing their uniforms because it takes people too much will power to picture them in anything else."

Professor Oak smiled and began to back away. "Remember who you are!" he called, starting to fade into the background. "Remember who you are..."

"Hey, wait!" Meowth called. "Dis is an attempt at personal and spiritual growth, isn't it?" Since Professor Oak was already gone, taking any valuable lesson learning with him, Meowth decided he might as well risk blindness by returning to the Jesse and James vicinity. At the sound of "sexy chicolita," Meowth suddenly realized that he belonged back at Team Rocket Headquarters and that he needed to defeat Persian, get Ash off the Team, and all that good stuff.

"Meowth?"

"Aaaahhh!!!" screamed Jesse and James, looking up to see Meowsie staring wide eyed at them.

"Meow meowth?" she asked.

James looked back at his partner, keeping his gaze on her face by sheer willpower. "Do you know what she's saying?"

Jesse shook her head, also keeping her gaze on his face by sheer willpower. "Where's Meowth?" she asked Meowsie.

Meowsie shrugged. "Meow."

"You won't find him here," said Professor Oak. He was sitting up in a tree.

Jesse and James screamed again. Jesse grabbed the first article of clothing she could find, unfortunately James' left glove, and used it to cover her "talents." "What are you doing here and do you have a camera?" she snarled.

"Well...yes," said Professor Oak, starting to sweatdrop. "But it's just for taking pictures of rare pokemon...but as for Meowth, all I can tell you is the king has returned."

"Huh?" asked Jesse and James, looking at each other in confusion.

James then stood up, pulling out a rocket launcher. "Now give us the camera, old man!" he shouted. Jesse stood up and hit him with the glove before realizing this might have been a tactical error given the apparent camera rule.

She then looked at the branch where Professor Oak had been. "Hey, he's gone!" she said. James swore and tossed the rocket launcher behind him. The resulting explosion caused Jesse and James to fear hug again.

"Meowth meow meow!" cheered Meowsie.("He's gone back!")

"What?" asked Jesse and James.

"Meow meow meowth!"("Meowth has gone back to Team Rocket!")

Still not understanding a word of this, Jesse and James sighed. "Why can't they all just speak English?" asked Jesse.

After the long trek back to HQ, Meowth stood on the convenient overlooking cliff and shuddered. Ash, Misty, Brock, Tracey, and Todd were lounging around in Team Rocket uniforms. "I'm sure glad we don't steal anymore!" said Ash.

"Pika-pika!" agreed Pikachu.

Misty nodded. "It's so much more satisfying to get people to give us pokemon...then give those pokemon away!"

"Who are those twerps?"

Meowth turned around. "Jesse! James! What're you doing here?" he exclaimed.

"We decided to help you," said James.

"And if I eat one more caterpillar I'm going to shoot myself," Jesse added in one of her rare cheerful voices.

"Well, we're going to need a distraction," said Meowth. He and Jesse both looked at James.

"What do you want me to do?" James whined. "Dress in drag and do the hula?"

"Dat's a great idea!" said Meowth. "Meowsie, you go get da pokemon desse lamebrains haven't given away. I'll go look for Persian."

Giovanni was in his office, Persian at his feet. Butch and Cassidy had been locked in a small cage. "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts," Butch was singing. "There they are a-standing in a row..."

Cassidy, who was within the closest hearing range, was ready to shoot herself. This feeling grew ever stronger as Giovanni joined in. "Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head," Giovanni and Butch sang.

"I'd rather hear Ash talk about being a pokemon master than this..." Cassidy muttered.

"What did you say?" snarled Giovanni.

"Boss, this doesn't make any sense," said Cassidy. "First of all, we're locked in a cage for no apparent reason. Second, this scene should've taken place--"

"Cassidy, am I dead?"

"No..."

"Does the character I'm replacing in this die?"

"Yes."

"Then scene order is the least of our worries."

All three of them turned towards the door at the sound of horrible screams. Ash entered, looking very worried. "Boss?"

"What, did you give away another pokemon that you've just realized you might actually need?" asked Giovanni.

Ash shook his head. "These hula dancers suddenly appeared and well..."

Tracey was sketching furiously. "I want to capture the way her boobs jiggle when she slaps Brock..." he said.

Brock, meanwhile, was hitting on the more..."talented" one. Who, unfortunately for all concerned, was James in an inflatable suit. "M-my name is...is...I th-think it starts with a B..."

"Boys," sighed Misty, looking for a heavy rock to bash their skulls in with.

Jesse, however, was glaring at James and vowing to get the biggest codpiece possible for the next plan, just in case she had to be the man.

"Jesse, get him away from me!" said James, who was also looking for a heavy rock to bash Brock's skull in with.

Ash ran up. "Did you say 'Jesse'?" he asked. "Because...that should really mean absolutely nothing to me since we've supposedly never met before..."

"Then you wouldn't know that you need to...mnawiva kwa matata!"

"Oh yes, Jess," said James. "Hakuna matata and mnaunda yeye maradufu!"

"Tunadhibiti ardhi toka kumbo!"

"Tunaungana wote ndani dola!"

"Tunakataa shetani za yakini na mapenzi!"

"Tunatanda chetu enzi fika nyota kindakindaki!"

"Jesse!"

"James!"

"Kikoa Roketi, tunashuliwa katika haraka za nuru!"

"Mnakai sasa hivi ama mnawiva babaka!"

"Stop dat!" snapped Meowth. "You can recite poetry after da epic battle between good and evil!"

"Did you just say 'Prepare for worries' then 'No worries and make it double?" asked Misty.

"You really shouldn't think about it so much," said Jesse.

"Especially since 'matata' literally means 'trouble' or 'troubles,'" added James, mentioning one of those obscure facts that he just happened to know. "The translators found it sounded better to change it to 'no worries' which sounded better than 'no troubles,' much like how the Japanese 'nanda kanda to kikare tara,' literally 'The answer we give will be the universe's sympathy' becomes--"

Meowth scratched him. "What part of dat didn't you understand?" he screeched. He sighed. "Looks like I'm going to have to finish off dat stupid persian myself..."

"Duh," muttered Jesse, James, Misty, Brock, Tracey, and Pikachu.

"You're the worst protagonist I've ever seen!" said Ash.

"Shut up or we'll recite the motto again," snapped Jesse.

"Yes, ma'am."

This bold determination to be the hero was what caused Meowth to find himself dangling off the edge of a cliff, ready to be dropping into fiery oblivion--the fire had come for dramatic effect and fom somewhere that even the writers couldn't figure out. "Perrrr!" snarled Persian.("Now this looks familiar...")

"What're you talking about?" asked Meowth.

"Perrrssssian!"("This is the way your father looked before he died...") Perisan smirked and leaned over. "Perrsian,"("And here's my little secret...")

Meowth's eyes widened and he started smiling. "You're secretly in love with me? I knew it!"

"Sian! Peerrrrsian!"("No! I killed your father, dumbass!")

"Noooo!!!" Meowth screamed, suddenly consumed with horrible flashbacks. He lunged, somehow pushing Persian away from him and tackling him to the ground. Then he realized something. "I never even met my father! I'm a stray!"

"Per," said Persian, eyes widening.("Oh.") "Perrrr?"("Then whose father *did* I kill?")

Meowth pulled a lead pipe out of thin air and bashed Persian over the head with it. "Jesse! James!" he called. "I need you to help me push Persian off a cliff!"

Jesse and James, however, were occupied. "We're doomed, aren't we?" asked James.

"No, of course not, James," muttered Jesse. "Now let go!"

Somehow in some odd sort of subplot, Jesse was currently clinging to a cliff for dear life. James was currently holding onto her legs and trying to resist the urge to look up her skirt. Giovanni was currently stepping on Jesse's hands. "Jesse, do you remember the Mew project?" asked Giovanni.

"Uhm..."

Giovanni sighed. "Let me just get to the point. I...killled...Miyamoto!"

"Nooo!!!" screamed Jesse.

"Who?" asked James.

"I think she was my mother," said Jesse.

Meowth looked up from pushing Persian--who was just as heavy as one would expect something about the size of a Bengal tiger to be--at what sounded like a body hitting the ground. Ignoring Persian for the time being, he ran towards it. "Boss? Boss?" He gasped as the dust cleared and he saw a lifeless corpse in a red suit lying on the ground. "Boss!" he screamed, running to his trainer's side. "Boss, come on, get up! We gotta go home..." Wiping the tears from his eyes, Meowth called, "Help! Somebody...anybody...help..." He then looked back down at his trainer.

"Meowth, we've got good news!" said Jesse from behind him.

"Guess who're the new leaders of Team Rocket!" added James.

"You killed my trainer?" Meowth asked.

"Uhm..." Jesse and James exchanged a glance.

"It was an accident! We didn't mean--" James began, but stopped when Jesse elbowed him in the ribs.

"He...died trying to save you," said Jesse.

"From what?" asked Meowth.

"Meeeeooowth!" screamed Meowsie, seeing Persian.

"Can we just get on with Team Rocket returning to its original beauty and kicking out the twerps?" asked James.

Jesse nodded. "Should we keep Butch and Cassidy?"

"Why? We hate them."

"True...but we could force them to sing and throw things at them."

"Ooo!"

So, order was restored to Team Rocket. Ash-tachi went back to being Professor Oak's little lackeys, Butch and Cassidy were kept in a little cage for entertainment purposes, and Meowth wasn't on speaking terms with Jesse and James for a month.

The Circle of Life is complete.