Disclaimer: Still don't own anyone.

Rating: PG-13, but nothing really dirty this time. Jesse does call Cassidy a very bad word though...

Other: Ash's comment concerning evil people and their feelings is actually a direct quote from a friend of mine concerning Sailor Moon(when it was the "ite" people and the chick died and the guy was sad?). It is not meant to be an insult to non-Rocketshippers. If Butch and Cassidy seem a bit "off," it's because I've only seen bits and pieces of their first episode, and I don't really like them anyways. ^_^ But Zelda does like mail. So if you want to send me a few nasty letters, send 'em to Zelda. Another side note, this was written when there was the rumor that the Princess Day episode wasn’t going to air in the US(hence J+J’s confusion about Lickitung)Also, something I learned the other day was that the chick is not only named Zoicite, but wasn't a chick in Japan...

Giovanni had a splitting headache. It was hard running a major corporation of pure evil, especially when most of his agents traveled in male/female teams, were together constantly, and had only their Pokémon to chaperone. Yes, something magical was happening in Team Rocket, and he didn't like it one bit. Sighing, he looked over a very thick file. His persian saw the names on it and laughed. The file wasn't thick because of numerous accomplishments. It was thick and heavy because Giovanni kept track of failure the same way he kept track of success. Naturally it contained the information he had on Jesse and James, who were very close to winning the "Worst Employees of the Year Award," a small plaque used to beat such losers into shape.

Flipping past the screw ups section, Giovanni began reading over the latest reports he'd received from other agents in the field.

Despite what his employees thought, he couldn't be everywhere and he certainly couldn't know every piddly little detail of every recruit's life. When partner requests were made he generally granted them. It prevented in-team fights and was cheaper than counseling and trust building exercises. So naturally when the two current banes of his existance had requested each other as partners he had signed the form without hesitation. How could he have know that they'd gone to Pokémon Tech together as well as being in a bike gang with each other? Consecutively. It wasn't surprising that the pair who'd been close friends for half their lives, including the early hormone surge years, were rumored to be the some of the biggest PDA offenders in the history of Team Rocket. Well, it was a bit surprising to Giovanni. He'd always assumed that James was gay.

They could be easily shrugged off, not having done anything right in quite sometime, but a few other problem spots had emerged. It was definately time to send out the official Team Rocket "Top Ten Reasons Why Not to Get Involved With Your Partner" brochure again as well as a small warning note in two of those envelopes.

Jesse slowly opened her eyes and found James lying very close to her. Extremely close. One of them must have rolled over in their sleep again. It seemed to happen a lot. She wondered if she could move a bit closer. He might not notice. She was just about to make her move when James woke up. They stared at each other, not quite sure what to do.

That was why they had Meowth. "Meowth!" he yawned, sitting up and stretching. "What's for breakfast?"

Sweatdropping like there was no tomorrow, Jesse and James quickly jerked away from each other, grinning sheepishly before getting on with the day.

While James started cooking, they discussed the plan. "What if we go to a pet store, buy a Pikachu, and say it's the one we were supposed to get?" James suggested.

"What if we get caught?" Jesse asked in reply.

"Oh yeah..."

"We could pretend we're selling Girl Scout cookies and once they're distracted-"

"We can capture the Pikachu!"

Meowth frowned. "Girl scouts?" he asked.

Jesse shrugged. "Everyone likes Girl Scouts."

"And they have such cute uniforms!" James squealed.

"Do we get to eat the cookies afterwards?"

After breakfast, Team Rocket was ready for action!

"I refuse to wear the beret," Meowth said, squinting at the pile of green and white Jesse had handed him.

"Just get dressed," Jesse snapped at him.

James had already taken off his jacket and gloves. Jesse abruptly stopped unbuttoning her own jacket. They always changed together--it was faster and easier. At first Jesse hadn't thought anything of it, but lately she'd started watching James. He didn't seem to notice her staring at him when he was practically naked, which was a very good thing for Jesse's pride. By now his entire uniform was in nearby pile. "Can you hand me that blouse?" he asked her. Jesse numbly did and tried to get her fingers to move again. He picked up a green pleated skirt and checked the size. "This is yours...here we go!" Jesse let out a sigh of relief as James was not only dressed again but also in women's clothing. That helped. She quickly removed her own uniform and pulled on the garish green and white ensemble.

"Ready?" she asked, pulling on the beret. James nodded.

Meowth muttered something inappropriate. Then he noticed the envelope that had mysteriously appeared at the edge of their camp. Using his claws as a letter opener, he quickly shredded the envelope and pulled out the contents. "Uh-oh...."

"What?" Jesse and James asked in unison, looking up from their make-up.

"Da Boss sent dis around again." Meowth handed them the pamphlet.

"I wonder why?" James asked, flipping through it. A large sweatdrop appeared over his temple.

With a sweatdrop of her own, Jesse added, "It's not as if we're anything but professionals."

Meowth rolled his eyes. "Boo!" he suddenly shouted. Sighing at the predictable results, he said, "Dat one was definately a fake."

"Oh, that was you?" James said, letting go of Jesse.

"I thought it was a ghost!" Jesse laughed sheepishly.

"You knew dat was me!" Meowth screamed. "Maybe you two should pay more attention to number seven," he added, preparing to scratch them. He stopped mid-attack when James pulled a small note out from between the brochure's pages. "What's dat?"

"It looks like a note from the Boss," James said. " 'I've heard of certain activities not supported by the Team Rocket handbook occurring between you and your partner. Generous man that I am, I have decided to temporarily reassign...' " James and Jesse exchanged a nervous glance. " 'reassign you both to temporary partners. Hopefully this will give you time to think about the potential mistakes you're making. You will meet with your temporary partners at the next Pokécenter.' Maybe they'll have a different next Pokécenter," James said hopefully.

"Either way, I smell a rattatta," Jesse said, looking at Meowth.

"Yeah, someone must have snitched on us!" James added, fists clenching. "Not that we've done anything."

"Of course not! Nothing that can't be easily explained."

"Right."

"Right." The two looked at each other again. "There has to be someway out of this!" Jesse cried, throwing her arms around James just as he threw her arms around her.

"This plan was even guaranteed to work!"

Meowth decided that it was time to act. "Do you lame brains know what the word 'temporary' means?" he screeched, scratching them both.

"My face!" Jesse wailed, looking at herself in her mirror. She slammed a mallet into Meowth's head. "How dare you desecrate such beauty!"

" '...at the next Pokécenter,' " Cassidy finished. "I can't believe this!" Butch exhaled another cloud of smoke and said nothing. "Who could possibly have known?" Cassidy continued.

"Jesse and James?" Butch suggested, naming the only other Team Rocket members he could currently remember.

Cassidy laughed disdainfully. "I'm surprised they even know their own names! Unless...what if this is one of Jesse's petty little tricks? That's just like her!" Cassidy jumped to her feet. "Let's get to the Pokécenter. We can deal with those losers later."

"What about the plan?"

"I guess we can save it for later," Cassidy sighed. "Besides, an order from the Boss is far more important."

By an astonishing coincidence, the next Pokécenter was the same for both sets of disgruntled Rockets.

"Jesse, fancy meeting you here," Cassidy said in the sweet voice women use right before they rip someone's throat out.

"Don't tell me you got one of these?" Jesse asked, holding up Giovanni's note. "Or are you just here to admire our superior looks and style?"

Cassidy reluctantly held up an identical piece of paper.

"So how're we gonna do dis?" Meowth asked. The fur was already starting to rise on the back of his neck.

"I'll go with Cassidy," Jesse said. "Even James doesn't deserve her as a partner."

"Do you think Butch wants to deal with James?" Cassidy spat back. The two women glared at each other, fists ready.

"Ooo! Cat fight!" James exclaimed.

"We're supposed to be capturing Pikachu, correct?" Meowth asked. Jesse and Cassidy nodded. "Since it's a bit obvious that you...ladies have a slim to none chance of surviving if left alone, why not trade guys?" When this proposal was not met with acclaim, Meowth asked Cassidy, "Just how assertive as Butch?" Cassidy looked at the ground. "Exactly. So we'd have one group with the pushiest people I've ever met, and one group that would sit on its hands."

While Meowth continued to talk to Jesse and Cassidy, Butch took out another cigarette. "And you know what guys think about," Meowth continued with a sinister smile.

Jesse looked at James. Food.

Judging from her expression, Meowth could tell that Jesse's thought process was not going in the proper direction. "The other thing that guys think about," he said through clenched teeth. He smiled again as they both went pale. "Now, imagine our fine decision makers together, thinking about that, and having a male bonding experience..." Both women shuddered in unison. James pouted.

"Raticate comes with me," Cassidy said. Butch shrugged.

"Jesse, I don't want to deal with the raticate and her!" James whined to his partner in a low voice.

"Is there some way we could...pretend to have done this?" Jesse asked.

Butch and Cassidy shook their heads. "I'm not going to throw away a promising career over something like this. I'm not pathetically dependant," Cassidy said.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Jesse.

A few minutes and several insults later, after tightly squeezing James' hand, Jesse found herself following the trail of Ash and his friends with Butch and Meowth. "Are we keeping da same plan as before?" Meowth asked, a devilish grin on his face.

Jesse nodded. "If that's all right with you, Butch," she said. He shrugged.

Meowth and Jesse exchanged a giddy look. There could be some fun in this after all. Jesse tossed Butch his costume. "What's this?" he asked.

"We're Girl Scouts," Jesse explained. "Once we've distracted the pests with cookies..." She stopped, waiting for her partner to finish her sentence. Butch only looked at her, wondering why she had stopped talking.

Out of pity, Meowth eventually said, "...the pikachu will be ours!" Jesse smiled gratefully at him. "Dis isn't going well..." he muttered under his breath.

James looked at his watch. Fifteen minutes had passed since he'd said goodbye to Jesse, and he was already on the verge of insanity. Cassidy would not shut up. At first he'd tried to be understanding. If he had a voice like Butch's he would have been the strong silent type too, but not only was Cassidy overly talkative, she was also boring. At least the raticate was in its Pokéball. That thing gave him the creeps.

"Now, after I say that, you nod," Cassidy was saying to him.

The plan was something involving lab coats. It didn't inspire him at all.

Cassidy glared at her temporary partner. He didn't seem to be listening to her. "Still awake, pretty boy?"

"Pretty boy?" he repeated indignantly. He hoped this would be over soon.

Butch emerged from behind the bushes, feeling like the world's biggest idiot. Jesse and Meowth were staring at him with what looked like a combination of surprise and disgust. Hopefully they'd be willing to rearrange their idiotic plan.

"This might take some work..." Jesse said. "Can you prance?"

"Prance?"

"Maybe you should let us do the talking," Meowth suggested as he straightened his beret. He whispered to Jesse, "Dis isn't going to work."

"They might not recognize us this way," Jesse said, sounding more than slightly depressed.

Meowth squinted towards the road. "There they are!" he announced.

"If you could be any kind of Pokémon, what kind would you be?" Ash asked.

"I'd be a dratini," said Misty.

"Pikachu!" Pikachu said.

"Awww," Ash, Brock, and Misty said in unison. Pikachu was just so darned cute!

"I'd be a raichu," said Ash. "How about you, Brock?"

"I'd want to be a koffing."

Just as Brock was about to receive a serious McCarthyism style beat down, a voice from behind them called, "Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?"

"Oh boy!" Ash exclaimed. "Cookies!"

"Girl Scouts!" exclaimed Brock.

Misty sighed. "Boys..."

Brock and Ash hurried over to the small troop. "H-hi, my name is Brock, I'm a gym leader, do you want to go out with me?" Jesse giggled. Meowth slowly snuck past Ash and Brock, heading towards Pikachu.

"Would you like some thin mints?" Butch asked.

"Aughh!" Ash and Brock immediatly recoiled.

"Excuse me," said a voice in the opposite direction. "Is that your pikachu?"

Ash and Brock looked towards the man and woman in lab coats. "Did you know that the lightning involved in thundershock and other pikachu attacks can cause serious and permanent injury?" the woman asked. The man nodded.

"Isn't that..." Jesse started to say.

"Who else?" Meowth replied.

"Uhh, no..." Ash said.

"Lightning can literally fry sections of the brain-"

Misty laughed. "Well, that explains you, Ash!"

"And Team Rocket," Brock added.

The man in the lab coat did not look especially pleased. "Why you little-ow!" The woman kicked him.

"I know I've heard that voice..." Ash began, then stopped. He looked from Butch to James and back again, "before...but...wait...why isn't..."

Cassidy sadly shook her head. "Already feeling the negative effects."

"What...should I do?" Ash asked.

"Prepare for trouble and make it double," Butch and Cassidy said in unison while Jesse said , "Prepare for trouble," which was immediately followed by James' "Make it double."

Misty felt a headache coming on. "Wait a minute..."

"This doesn't make any sense!" Ash screamed, clutching his head in his hands. "There's...four of them and...but...they're not on the right..."

Having managed to return to their uniforms first, Jesse and Butch gained first dibs on motto saying. "To protect the world from devastation," Jesse said.

"To blight all peoples within our nation," Butch joined in.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love,"

"To extend our wrath to the stars above,"

Jesse glared at him. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm saying the motto," he replied.

"You've got the words completely wrong," James said.

Ash looked for an escape. "They've got us surrounded!" he moaned.

"And completely confused," Misty said.

"He knows what he's doing," Cassidy added. "Unlike a certain pair I can think of."

"It was our motto first!" Meowth snapped. "You stole it from us!"

Ash motioned for his friends to join him in a hundle. "I'll take Jesse. You two take James," he said.

Brock nodded. "We should be able to beat them like this."

Noticing the pests' strategy session, Meowth pulled on his trusty rubber gloves. "If ya want something done right..."

Jesse had also noticed the huddle. "We can talk about this later," she said. "Now we have to get the pikachu. Arbok, go!"

"Charrrbok!" the snake hissed.

Ash turned his hat backwards. "Bulbasaur, I choose you!" he yelled, throwing a Pokéball.

"Bulbasaur!"

The Pokémon circled each other, waiting for the command to attack.

"Where's the other one?" Ash asked.

"Yeah, since when did you guys stop cheating?" Misty asked.

Jesse looked at Butch. "Don't you have any Pokémon?" He shook his head. Sighing, she handed him a Pokéball.

"Go..."

"Lickitung."

"Go Lickitung!"

"Where'd that come from?" James asked.

"I..." Jesse's mind drew a blank. "I don't know..."

Cassidy folded her arms across her chest. "If you two are done with your illegal fraternization..."

"Bulbasaur, vine whip!" Ash called out.

"Arbok, bind!" Jesse called. Bulbasaur and Arbok lunged at each other, then stopped abruptly.

"Bok!" Arbok hissed impatiently at Likitung.

Likitung looked at Butch. "Lickitung...umm...lick?"

Ash smiled. This wouldn't take long.

Meanwhile, Misty and Brock faced Cassidy and James. "Do you know what's going on?" Misty asked in a low voice.

Brock shook his head. "Not a clue."

The battle was slowed by a second motto conflict. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?" Cassidy snarled.

"Me? You're the one saying it wrong!"

"As if it weren't bad enough to have to hear that thing twice in one day..." Ash said. Bulbasaur had quickly trounced Arbok and Lickitung. Now all he had to do was hold Togepi for Misty and try to stay awake.

"Idiot," Jesse said to Butch as she retrieved her Pokémon. She whacked him with a frying pan. "Don't you know anything about Pokémon?"

Cassidy was just about to send out Raticate when she heard the painful "clang." "Don't hit him!" she yelled at Jesse.

A large smile was eagerly forming on James' face. It managed to grow even larger as Jesse smacked Butch again.

"I can't believe you don't even have any Pokémon of your own!" she snarled. She was about to deliver another blow, this time with the fan for a bit of variety, when Cassidy grabbed her arm.

"Just what do you think you're doing?"

"I'm trying to beat some sense into him. What does it look like?"

"Are we going to battle or not?" Brock asked James, the only one who seemed in any position to fight.

James' eyes widened considerably. Mute, he pointed in the direction of Jesse and Cassidy, just as Jesse screamed, "Denounce the goodness of this, bitch!"

"C-c-c-cat fight!" Brock cheered. His eyes almost opened, and he was twitching slightly.

Pikachu smiled the same smile he had given the sisters of Cerulean City. Suddenly, Meowth grabbed him from behind, clamping a paw over the surprised rodent's mouth.

"I don't get it," Misty said. "What's the big deal?"

Ash was crouched behind her, hiding. "I don't know! Girls are scary!"

"Looks like today doesn't suck after all!" James said happily.

Butch walked over to James, one hand balled up in a fist. "Are you staring at my woman?"

"No. Are you staring at mi--my partner?"

"More tearing and less punching!" Brock called to the female Rockets. Anger veins began popping up throughout Team Rocket, while Ash and Misty began sweating with embarrassment.

"I can't believe he said that to us!" Cassidy said angrily.

"After all, we are Team Rocket!" Jesse agreed. "Some of us more than others, of course..."

Meowth cleared his throat loudly and held up Pikachu. "Time to blast off!" he announced.

Ash buried his face in his hands. This whole Pokémon journey thing hadn't been going well lately...

Moving with incredible speed, Jesse and James exchanged a rarely used celebrational hug. "We've finally captured Pikachu!" James exclaimed.

"The Boss is sure to give us that raise now!" Jesse added.

"Raise?" Cassidy asked. "Why on earth would you need a raise?"

"We could retire right now," Butch said smugly.

"Exactly how much are you two making?"

Jesse and James both sweatdropped. "Plenty," Jesse quickly replied.

"We're just greedy!"

Butch and Cassidy exchanged a glance that quite clearly said "500 yen an hour."

After a swift kick from Misty, Ash tried to reclaim his Pikachu from Meowth. So far he'd only managed to grab hold of the tail. "I know it hurts, Pikachu, but I'll get you back!" he promised as he tried to yank Pikachu away. "I'll bet Gary never has to do things like this..."

"Gary?" Misty and Brock asked in puzzled unison.

"And you haven't captured anything!" Cassidy snapped at James. "You're with me now, remember?"

"Let go, you stupid cat!" yelled Ash as Meowth tried to scratch him with gloves on.

"Great, now how are we supposed to suck up to the Boss?" Jesse whispered.

"Don't worry, Jesse," James replied. "I've got an idea."

Jesse sighed. "I hope it's better than your last one..."

"It's brilliant!"

Jesse would have protested more, but with the celebrational hug still in progress and James smiling at her, her voice immediatly went on hiatus until they stepped away from each other. Then she hissed at him, "Which one of my outfits do you need to stretch out this time?"(Sadly, only in Ranma 1/2 do clothes fit a boy and girl of similar height perfectly.)

"Nothing of yours," he assured her.

"After all, you two have completely different coloring," Cassidy said sarcastically.

"I hate to break up the lame name convention," Ash said, giving up on Pikachu for the moment, "but can I at least know who's stealing my Pikachu?"

"We are," Jesse said. "Jesse and," she sighed, "Butch."

Cassidy's eyes narrowed. Nothing irked her more than half of her least favorite people succeeding before she did. Nothing except of course for both of her least favorite people succeeding first, but Jesse was enough of a least favorite person to justify an attack. "Raticate, go! Raticate, hyper fang!"

"Cate!" Raticate screeched, its teeth bared at Meowth.

Meowth dropped Pikachu and pulled off his gloves. "Meowth, fury swipes!"

As Meowth and Raticate battled, Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu started running. "Ash, where are we going?" Misty asked. "The next town's in the other direction!"

"I don't care! I just want to get away from here!" Ash replied.

"Can we stop by a Pokécenter?" asked Brock. "Vulpix...uhhh...got poisoned."

"When?" Ash asked suspiciously.

"Ummm...during the battle."

"We didn't even have a battle!" Misty yelled at him. "You got distracted by that stupid fight!"

"Well...uhh...James was distracted too!"

Later, Jesse was sitting by Team Rocket's latest campfire, checking her make-up. Meowth sat down beside her, holding a bottle of max potion in his paw. "So when do you think we'll get James back?" Meowth asked.

"He said he had a plan."

"What'd he borrow?"

"Nothing."

Meowth sighed. "He must have been lying."

Jesse smiled weakly. "We used to be able to have plans that didn't involve costumes..." she said.

"I remember dat. Remember when Arbok and Wheezing used to win, before we met that awful kid?" They both sighed happily.

Jesse's eyes took on a dreamy look. Maybe James would be able to get them out of this. She still wasn't quite sure how, but there was still a slim chance. Then, once everything was back to normal, there was a chance that he might finally get around to sweeping her off her feet. She certainly couldn't be expected to initiate things. After all, she was the beautiful woman, wasn't she? Or at least the beautiful woman twenty-four hours a day. And it wasn't like he hadn't had plenty of opportunity. True, she might have inadvertantly killed the mood a few times, but there were plenty of ways to overcome something like that. Such as flowers, which James seemed to have an unlimited supply of. Jesse sighed. There were times when she wondered about him.

Butch looked cautiously over at Jesse and Meowth. After only one mission, he was already up to three packs a day. This was some kind of torture. Not only did they expect him to dress in drag, but they also wanted him to shave his legs, learn how to prance, and "at least try to sound like a girl." He was still badly bruised from Jesse's earlier thrashing. Butch was starting to wonder how James had survived for this long. He shuddered at the thought of the next plan. It involved large complicated machinery that would either blow up or be destroyed. The blow up or be destroyed part had not been mentioned with the rest of the plan, but Butch had a very strong hunch that it was unavoidable. After all, Meowth had promised to coach him in the correct way to scream "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" as well as the right way to land(on the bottom so something would break Jesse and Meowth's fall).

James sat on his sleeping bag, brushing a blonde wig and humming West Side Story's "Tonight" to himself. If he pulled this off, Jesse would be thrilled. Maybe she'd be happy enough for them to have their first kiss, a beautiful, passionate moment set against the sunset, just the two of...

He stopped mid fantasy. First kiss? He and Jesse had been together for years, several of which being when puberty hit. Inept as they both were at times, it seemed impossible that they could have made it so long without kissing at least once. Then he remembered. It'd been a game of Spin the Bottle back at Pokémon Tech...she'd been wrapped up in her "first love" jock boy, and he'd had a crush on someone else as well so it had only been the second most humiliating thing that had happened to them at Tech, but it still counted as a first kiss.(the first most humiliating thing was not flunking out, but the circumstances of their second kiss...)

It occurred to James that he probably should have told Jesse about his feelings for her. Unfortunately they were already on ther verge of being kicked off the team for a PDA violation. Actual commitment probably wouldn't improve their career status. Besides, weren't his intentions a bit obvious? The problem was that Jesse just wasn't much of a romantic. He still couldn't believe what she'd said after saving him from the ghost with that "it's not you, I hate chicks like that" crap. And then after he'd left Jessebelle and a huge hunk of money for her... "We may not be rich, but at least we have our freedom"? He worried about her sometimes.

A few feet away, Cassidy continued to look through her things. She could have sworn she'd packed an extra uniform. She sat back, trying to think of what could have happened. She definately remembered packing it, and she didn't think she'd taken it out. Naturally no one else could have taken it. Jesse and James had made enough snide comments about it, despite the fact that they all knew black was always in style, and Butch certainly wouldn't have. He wasn't into that sort of thing unlike a certain person who'd been left alone with her stuff earlier.

She missed Butch a lot. At least she didn't have to worry about him stealing her clothes. She was even starting to miss the sound of his voice...

Taking out her official Team Rocket whip, she approached James. "I want my uniform back."

He continued brushing the wig. "Don't you want to get rid of me?"

"What do your nasty little fetishes have to do with that?" She pulled the whip back. "And I've got to get this cleaned."

"Want to make a trade?"

Meowth sat up and stretched. Another morning, another day of failure ahead. He'd started to get used to it. "Now, without James here to cook breakfast..." He looked at Jesse who was mumbling in her sleep. After understanding a few snippets of her gibberish, Meowth decided that he wanted her nowhere near his food. "Which leaves only the human wheezing..."

Fifteen minutes later, Jesse slowly opened her eyes. "Is something burning?" She quickly reached up to check her hair.

"If you don't like it, you can starve," Meowth announced.

Jesse muttered something vicious and started to change into her uniform. Butch, who was seated by the fire, coughed nervously.

"James isn't back yet," Meowth said.

"Is that...normal?" Butch asked as Jesse quickly moved towards some all concealing bushes.

"Not by my standards."

Blushing furiously, Jesse emerged. She sat down and Meowth handed her a bowl. "Meowth, these are burnt Corn Pops."

"Yeah, so what?" Meowth asked defensively. "We were out of Lucky Charms."

Jesse grew to gargantuan proportions for screaming purposes. "There is no heat what-so-ever involved in the preparation of Corn Pops!!"

Butch made a cat noise. Both Jesse and Meowth glared at him. "What is that supposed to mean?" Jesse asked.

"Don't insult my people!" Meowth hissed, scratching him.

"Are you always like this?" Butch asked Jesse in return.

"Like what?"

"Violent, temperamental..."

"Why you raspy..."

"At least I know the meaning of the word 'professional relationship,'"

Before a violent screaming match could break out, Cassidy and James entered, the former positively beaming. Cassidy motioned to Jesse, indicating an area several feet away. To the general surprise of all spectators, Jesse smiled back. The two girls started whispering and giggling together. Meowth looked at James. He would have tried to talk to him, but James looked violently miffed about something. Probably because Jesse didn't say hello to him...Meowth thought. That was even stranger than Jesse giggling with her enemy.

Finally Jesse and Cassidy returned. "We've decided to switch again," she announced.

I'll be dead before sundown Meowth said to himself as he watched Jesse and Cassidy shake hands while James and Butch left.

Meanwhile, tension was rising on a certain Pokémon journey. "We're lost again!" Brock announced. "I don't see how, when there's only one possible route to almost every city, but we're lost!"

"It's Ash's fault," Misty said as they stopped to look over the map.

Ash began shifting from one foot to the other. "C'mon, let's get going!" he whined.

"Yeah, Ash, you still need to get your 'Flaming Moron Badge' from the 'Middle of No Where Gym,'" Misty said sarcastically.

Ash's face lit up. "There's a gym out here? Great!" He would have run down the road, but he found a small, yellow creature blocking his path.

"A sandshrew!" Ash exclaimed, pulling out his Pokédex.

"You know what it is," Misty told him.

"Sandshrew, a ground type Pokémon. Its favorite food is berries," said Dexter, who for some reason had become just as helpful as its game equivalent.

"I'm going to catch it!" Ash said happily. "Pikachu, thundershock!"

"Pika....chuuuuu!" Nothing happened.

"Uhmm..." Ash looked nervously at Misty and Brock who were glaring at him. "Try it again!"

"Pika....chuuu!" Pikachu used a bit less enthusiasm this time.

"Shre, shre, shre!" laughed the sandshrew. Then it dug a hole.

"Hey, I have to catch you!" Ash yelled at it.

"Ash, do you know what a ground Pokémon is?" asked Brock.

Using dig, the sandshrew flung Pikachu several feet back, then scampered away, still laughing. "I don't understand!" Ash said as he hugged Pikachu. "What went wrong?"

A ways up the road...

"Never gonna work," Meowth muttered.

"Shut up and keep digging!" said Cassidy.

"It's pure Team Rocket genius," Jesse explained. "After they fall in the hole--"

"We throw the net on them!"

Meowth rolled his eyes. "The pikachu zaps us, we blast off, I cry myself to sleep again tonight."

Cassidy stopped digging to pose. "It can't fail since I'm here, and I'm perfect!" she said. This sent both her and Jesse into another one of their giggling fits.

"I just hope Team Rocket doesn't show up," Ash muttered.

"Ka," Pikachu agreed from his shoulder.

"Ash, can you remember a time when they didn't show up?" Misty asked.

Ash thought for a moment. "They weren't at the beach..."

"What?"

"When you entered the Pretty Girl/Disguised--"

Misty vomited into the bushes. "They were there, " Brock said. "Very definately there..."

"I don't remember that..."

"How could you forget?" Misty asked.

"I feel kind of sorry for them," Brock said, changing the subject because no one really wanted to think about, talk about, or even remember James with breasts.

"What?!" Ash exclaimed.

"Me too," added Misty. "I mean, they are just trying to do their jobs..."

"And we've ruined their plans even when they weren't trying to steal Pikachu."

Misty nodded. "I wonder what was going on yesterday."

"Maybe they were reassigned," Brock suggested, somehow guessing the correct answer.

"Oohh, that's so sad!" Misty sighed, tightly hugging Togepi. "I've never told anyone this before but...I always hoped they'd get together one day..."

Ash snorted. "They are together, Misty. They're partners."

"I thought they were already a couple," Brock said to Misty.

"I didn't think so..."

"What are you talking about?" asked Ash. "They can't be in love; they're evil!" Brock and Misty both gave him a look. "Evil people don't have...those kinds of feelings!"

Ash's companions exchanged a glance. Even Togepi was starting to get a sweatdrop from this one...Before Ash could defend himself or anyone else could berate him, a large hole in the ground was discovered the painful way. "Ouch," Brock said.

"Glad he was walking in front of us," Misty added.

"Pika," agreed Pikachu who had jumped off of Ash just in time.

"Can someone--oof!" Ash was cut off by a net falling onto him. "Team Rocket's behind this!"

"Duh," Misty said as the music started playing.

"Prepare for trouble!"

"Make it double!"

"To protect the world from devastation..."

"To unite all peoples within our nation..."

"To denounce the evils of truth and love..."

"To extend our reach to the stars above..."

"Jesse!"

"Cassidy!"

"Well, at least there's only two of them today," Brock said.

"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"Yadda yadda yadda, let's get this over with," muttered Meowth.

"Hand over the Pikachu," Jesse called to Ash.

"I can't. He's up there."

"Oh. Hand over the Pikachu!" she called to Brock and Misty.

"Where's James?" Misty asked.

Jesse blushed. "He was...reassigned for...ummm..."

"A team building exercise," Cassidy finished.

"When are you going to see him again?"

"I don't know," Jesse replied. Cassidy giggled.

"That's so sad!" Misty said sympathetically.

"Just out of curiousity, what are you going to do with Pikachu?" asked Brock.

"Give it to the Boss," Jesse answered.

"What will he do with it?"

"Probably just add it to his collection," Cassidy said.

Meowth sighed. "I wish I was still one of his favorite Pokémon..."

Misty and Brock began whispering to each other. "Would you use thundershock on a sandshrew?" Misty finally asked.

Jesse, Cassidy, and Meowth burst out laughing. "He's yours," Brock said, walking around the hole with Pikachu in his arms.

"Hey!" shouted Ash from the bottom of the hole.

"Piiiikaa!" Pikachu screamed, struggling against Brock.

"There's lots of ketchup there," Meowth told him.

"Pika?" asked Pikachu. ("Really?")

Meowth nodded. "And lots of other pikachus."

"Pi pikachu?"("Girl pikachus?")

"Tons of 'em."

Pikachu leapt out of Brock's arms and ran over to Team Rocket. "Ka pi!" he exclaimed, hugging Jesse's legs.

"Pikachu, I thought you were my friend!" wailed Ash.

The little rodent thought things over. Good food and women, or his slowbro-witted best friend... "Pika, pikachu?" he asked Jesse.

"What?" she said.

Meowth and even Ash smirked. "He wants your advice," Meowth translated.

"Pi chu pika pika chu,"

"Because you're an expert on the subject." There's that vein again thought Meowth.

"Chu pika, pi pika-pi chu ka?"

"What did he say?" Jesse asked.

"He wants to know if you'd ever leave James."

"Pika pika."

"For good food and babes."

There was a long, awkward silence. Jesse bit her lip and looked at Cassidy, who was looking at the ground. Ash started climbing out of the hole. "No," Jesse reluctantly admitted. Cassidy smiled. Pikachu nodded thoughtfully, then ran to Ash at the edge of the cliff.

"Pikachu!" Ash cried, throwing his arms around Pikachu. He lost his grip and fell back into the hole. "Aughh!" *Whump!*

Meowth slapped his hand against his forehead. "Idiot! We could have had him if you hadn't said that crap! James isn't even here!" He turned to Cassidy. "And there's no reason for you to look so smug!"

"Looks like we're going to have to fight," Cassidy said, avoiding Meowth's glare.

Jesse nodded. "Arbok, go!"

"I loaned my raticate to Butch," Cassidy told her.

Arbok sighed and looked at his mistress. "Bok!" he hissed. "Chhharrbok?"("Where's Wheezing?")

Jesse smiled feebly at him. "He's not here right now. He's with James."

"Chhharrrrbok! Bok!"("I'm not fighting without Wheezing.")

Jesse was starting to get annoyed. "Wheezing isn't here!"

Arbok's tongue flicked out. "Charbok."("I can smell James.")

"The scent's probably still on Jesse's clothes," muttered Meowth.

"What's wrong with Lickitung?" Arbok's hood flared out in anger. Jesse buried her face in her hands. "You're supposed to be loyal to me, not that stupid gas bag."

"Chharrrbok!"

Ash climbed out of the hole, Pikachu clinging to his back. The little Pokémon leapt off. "Pikachu, thundershock it now!" Ash ordered.

"Pikachu," Pikachu said, shaking his head. "Pi pika pi chu ka pi."

"I don't care how lonely Arbok is! Just thundershock him!" When Pikachu didn't respond, Ash pulled out a Pokéball. "Fine, I'll use someone who will obey me."

"Pika-chu," Pikachu said, shrugging.

"Charizard, go!"

"Ummm...Ash," Misty said, tapping his shoulder. "Maybe that's not the best idea..."

"Oh, yeah..." Ash said, replacing the Pokéball. "Hmmm..."

Brock sighed. "Ash, does it really matter? Arbok won't even fight!"

Cassidy pulled out a Pokéball. "What's this doing here?" she asked. "I gave Raticate to Butch..."

"Try it," Jesse said, grinning at her.

"Pokéball, go!"

"Whee-zing..."

"What the hell?" asked Cassidy and Meowth in unison.

Meowth quickly recovered from his surprise and snickered. "I wish I could see James' face right now..." he laughed to himself.

"Charrrbok!" Arbok excitedly hissed.

Jesse whispered something to Cassidy. "Wheezing, smoke screen!" Cassidy called out.

"Arbok, bite!"

Ash looked at Pikachu. "Now will you thundershock them?"

Pikachu nodded. "Piiiii....kaaaa...chuuuuuuu!"

Team Rocket was, of course, hurled up into the air along with their Pokémon. "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!"

Ash watched them, then turned his hat backwards. "Let's go find the Middle of Nowhere Gym!" he shouted and began running down the road. Pikachu gleefully followed.

Misty and Brock walked at a slower pace. "Why did you give Pikachu away?" Misty asked.

Brock shrugged. "I just don't think he's that cute anymore..."

After landing, Cassidy said, "We should check in with the Boss now."

Meowth looked at her in surprise. "We generally try to put that off for as long as possible."

"I think we should call him now," Cassidy repeated, winking at Jesse.

"We have to do it sometime," Jesse sighed.

Once they were in front of the large, video phone, Cassidy smiled at Meowth. "You dial," she ordered. Meowth reluctantly punched in the number, muttering bitter thoughts to himself as he did. He turned around just in time to see Cassidy pull Jesse close for a rather intimate kiss with Jesse giving very little resistance.

Perhaps this would be a good time for some explanation and maybe a flashback. First of all, Arbok has a much better sense of smell than Meowth, who doesn't even have a nose. Secondly, after years of association and costumes, Jesse could recognize James in anything. As for the flashback...

Jesse looked up from the atrocity that used to be a breakfast cereal and noticed James and Cassidy approaching. Eyes focusing in on the black Team Rocket uniform she thought, God, James, how could you wear that thing?

Once they were a safe distance away, Jesse whispered, "Is it really you?"

He nodded. "I feel so dirty..." he whispered back, tugging distastefully at his sleeve.

She giggled. "How did you get your hair to do that?" This time he laughed with her. "Wait'll we tell Meowth..."

"We can't," James said, sounding very serious. "Do you know what the Boss'll do to me?" he whined.

"You?" Jesse asked. "What about me? I'm an accomplice now!"

James giggled again. "Of course!"

Jesse found herself giggling with him. "How'd you get the wig to do that?"

"Wire and hairspray."

Back in the present, or a few minutes earlier to readjust things, James, still dressed as Cassidy, stopped Jesse from sitting beside Meowth. Have to be cool about this he said to himself as he looked her in the eyes. If I do this right, she won't think it's just part of the plan..."Jesse?" he said softly.

"Yes, Ja--Cassidy?"

"I..." Missed you, couldn't wait to see you again, realized I couldn't live without you, "Just play along, ok?" Idiot! Wishing there was a frying pan handy to beat himself with, James took a deep breath, then kissed his partner.

Jesse froze for a moment, doing a brilliant imitation of a deer in headlights. Just part of the plan, of course, Jesse thought bitterly. And naturally it'd have to be when he was dressed like Cassidy. But I'd better just play along... she decided with absolutely no reluctance. I think he was in drag last time, too...

While Meowth was staring in shock, horror, and disgust, he heard the sound of coffee being spit onto a Persian, followed by both human and Pokémon expletives. "Knock it off!" Meowth hissed. "Da Boss is on!"

Jesse and "Cassidy" quickly broke away from each other. Having her career to think of, Jesse did what her instincts told her: backhand "Cassidy." Hard. Then at a more appropriate time she could praise James' plan and suggest that, with modifications, it be used for stealing Pokémon.

"I want you both back with your original partners as soon as possible. There's no need for me to speak with them." Giovanni hung up and mopped his forehead with a handkerchief. "Yow." His Persian began grooming itself, trying to lick the coffee off its fur.

Once the video phone's screen had gone blank, James ripped off his wig and hugged Jesse.

Meowth watched his team mates' standard victory dance grope-a-thon with narrowed eyes. "Two days," he said. "Actually, one day. One lousy day!"

"If I hadn't taken action, it could have been longer," James said, glaring at Meowth but still holding Jesse.

Meowth rolled his eyes. "It might have been a whole week."

"A whole week of burnt Corn Pops," Jesse muttered.

"Wow, your cooking really does suck!" James said. Jesse stopped hugging him long enough to swat him with a paper fan.

"And we had the Pikachu!" Meowth continued ranting. "It would have happily come with us, but no...you had to go completely soft on us! And why didn't you tell me about this?!"

"You might have been the one who reported us in the first place," Jesse said. Her eyes met James'. "Err...lied about us, that is."

Meowth nodded patronizingly. "Of course. You just have yer arms around each other--again--because..."

"We're close friends," Jesse said, both of them taking a simultaneous step backwards.

"Very close friends," James added.

"Uh-huh."

"We've only kissed three times!" James snapped at him.

"And of course neither one of you can still remember the place, date, time, and circumstances."

"Of course not!" Jesse laughed. Not the time. Without looking in my diary. Jesse started blushing. The aforementioned pages for the first two incidents happened to be bookmarked, but hopefully Meowth hadn't figure that out yet.

"Who remembers something like that?" James asked. "I sure don't!" He laughed with a bit less confidence than Jesse. I mean, I can only remember the dates because they're marked on my calender... He rubbed the back of his head, starting to sweatdrop.

"And this last little display was all in the line of duty, naturally," Meowth added. He felt a bit guilty, but they were just so much fun to goad.

"We're just friends!" Jesse and James screamed at him.

Trying to regain her composure, Jesse slid into one of her standard solitary poses. "After all, we are here to denounce the evils of truth and love." Way to go, Jesse she said to herself. Way to flirt with him. How old are we, twelve?

"Oh yeah, there's a lot of that going around," Meowth said scornfully.

"We're damn good at the truth part!" James said defensively. "And...ummm..the...non-platonic love part." I think I can see why Jesse hits me so much... James thought as he looked at her. Why does this have to be so hard? he silently whined before going on to think a few thoughts that were definately non-platonic.

"So what should we do with the rest of the day?" Jesse asked, hoping a subject change would return her blushing face to normal.

"Trade dirty secrets about Butch and Cassidy!" Meowth cheered.

Jesse noticed that James was standing very still, a daydreaming expression on his face. She nudged him.

"Huh?" James asked, abruptly coming back to a vicious world where Meowth was there, Jesse was wearing all of her uniform, and his thoughts lost a good deal of their original meaning when they became words.

"We're going to gossip," she informed him.

"Hooray!" he cried before going to search for his spare uniform.

During one of Meowth's especially long anecdotes, James started looking through his pockets. "It has to be here somewhere..." he mumbled.

Jesse held a ball of green yarn out to him. Grinning, he took it and threw it over Meowth's head. Fortunately there was a slight hill behind the cat...

"That ought to keep him busy," James laughed as an ecstatic Meowth began chasing the string.

"I can't believe it works," Jesse said, shaking her head.

He shrugged. "I really missed you."

"James, it was only a day." She looked at the ground. "I missed you, too."

He looked at his hands. "Uhh...Jesse, I was wondering...if...ummm..."

"10:19 PM and 4:53 AM."

"Thanks."

As we leave our heros, we can only hope to someday find out why Jesse and James were together with one of them in drag, no less, at five in the morning. What kind of standards do they have at Pokemon Tech? And will Ash be able to find the Middle of Nowhere Gym before Gary does? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Pokemon!

To be continued... Back