"I feel so dirty and used," Clay said once Mondo had left. "This is the best job I've ever had!"

"That's the spirit," said Giovanni. After all, he liked his women hot, his beer cold, and his submissives much less enthusiastic than Clay had been at the beginning of this debauchery.

"Please give me my phone message now," Clay pleaded. "Instead of spanking me like a red headed debutante!"

Allison, having found love and/or gratuitous sex, was now searching for an outlet since she'd somehow managed to kill the time machine battery again. Unbeknownst to her, she had also misplaced the black tank top she wore under her jacket. Sighing as she realized she was probably going to have to remember what room had been assigned to her, Allison's mood only worsened when a familiar voice asked, "Who have you been doing?"

"What do you want, Sundance?" asked Allison, turning to see her partner's younger sister lounging against a nearby wall. In some ways Sundance had gotten the better end of the genetics bargain. Her dark green hair was long, thick, and very normal, and her purple eyes had a certain sparkle to them. Her voice, on the other hand, had the tendancy to go from "surly teenager sneer" to "elderly crack whore rasp" at any moment.

"I was just being friendly," Sundance replied, clearing her throat as her voice started to go downhill on "friendly". She paused to brush something off her white Team Rocket dress and in the hopes that she'd sound normal when she spoke again. "And I thought that you wore a shirt underneath that."

Allison looked down. "Dammit, not again!"

Jesse and James ran into an alley way and leaned against a building, breathing heavily. "Did we lose them?" asked James.

"I think so," said Jesse. Not only had they just hauled ass to escape an All You Can Eat buffet without paying, but they each had about 14 bagels up their dresses. "We have no futures, do we?"

"Probably not," James admitted. "We're mostly likely doomed to failure…ooo, cinnamon raisin!" he squealed excitedly, starting to happily eat a bagel that only minutes ago had been resting against his crotch.

Jesse looked at him. He was eating a bagel that had been in the thong that he'd stolen from her. Any other person would probably find this disturbing and/or disgusting. Jesse pulled a bagel out of her bra and couldn't decide if she was hungry or horny. She glanced around the dingy alley and found one fairly clean space that looked like it had enough room for two people to roll around in. She took it as a sign. "Come on, James," she said, tossing her bagel aside and dragging her partner towards the flat surface she had noticed. "There's probably some rare pokemon over there…" She grabbed the bagel he'd been eating and took a bite.

"Your looks are laughable, unphotographable," sang Clay as he walked to the generic meeting place that was Allison's room, "Yet you're my favorite work of art…"

"I could've danced all night, I could've danced all night," sang Vaporeon, walking in an opposite direction towards the same place, "And still have begged for more!"

"Is your mouth a little weak? Did you take me like Greek?" Clay continued, "When you open it to speak, are you smart?"

"I could have spread my wings and done a thousand things," Vaporeon continued. "I've never done before!"

"But don't change a hair for me,"

"I'll never know what made it so exciting,"

"Not if you care for me,"

"Why all at once my heart was light!"

"Stay, little valentine, stay!"

"I only know when he climbed on top of me!"

"Every day's yaoi Saturday!"

Clay and Vaporeon looked at each other in shock, both of them realizing they'd been singing at the top of their lungs and just how potentially questionable it was. Especially since Clay's musical theater training had caused him to pose appropriately. Without speaking, he opened the door.

"Lucky, lucky, nice to mewtwo, that glitter when you tamatama meet!" sang Allison as she tried to look for a replacement black tank top. "Happy, happy, I'm so pippi! Tattsuu fluttery steps!"

"So, you got laid too, huh?" asked Clay.

"Don't you know how to knock?" Allison shrieked at him, naturally a bit embarrassed to be caught singing the poor dubber's two language version of "Lucky Lucky."

"We thought you'd heard us," said Vaporeon. "And what the hell is that?"

"It just some dumb song I heard somewhere," Allison muttered.

"What's it called?"

Allison blushed. "I don't remember…"

"'Lucky, Lucky.' Al's a sick wench," Clay explained, then turned to his partner. "So?"

"Capone."

"The guy from training?"

"Yes. He's learned a few things since then," Allison said with a dreamy sigh. "You?"

"Giovanni."

"Pikachu," said Vaporeon.

"Pikachu?!" exclaimed Clay and Allison.

"But you hate electric pokemon," said Allsion

"Hell, you hate most pokemon, you damn racist," added Clay.

"My friends, today I learned something about that whole pain/pleasure thing Allison's family is so fond of…"

"Hey!"

"And a few fun and exciting facts about static electricity."

"Now whip it! Into shape! Shape it up! Get it straight!" Jessebelle was happily singing as she returned home. "Go forward! Move ahead! It's not to late, to whip it!

"Ah'm so glad our dear sweet Jessebelle is back to her old self again," said James' mom.

"I agree! It was such a shame that our rat bastard of a son has made her so lonely," agreed James' dad.

"Jolly good eureka!" moaned Hopkins. The three were out in the garden. Hopkins was tied to a bench and being beaten with riding crop.

The door to the closet opened. "Where have you been?" asked Mrs. Ketchum. "It's really not very fun in here at all!"

Professor Oak decided not to answer that. Besides, his head was pounding to the point where he couldn't really focus on anything, much less a reasonable explanation. "Let's just go home," he said. "I think I saw Ash and his friends wandering in the wrong direction."

"Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day!" Meowth sang to himself. He was in a nondescript cabin, lying on a pillow and waiting for Jesse and James to return. "I've got a wonderful feelin', from givin' Pory her comeuppance dis way!"

James entered, whistling "Lucky, Lucky." Jesse entered a few moments later, humming the same thing.

"Well, our plan failed," said Jesse, once she noticed Meowth was in the room.

"Mmm-hmm," James agreed. "Same as usual."

"So why don't you two seem upset about this?" asked Meowth. "And dat 'entering at different times trick' doesn't fool anyone! Now, if you'll excuse me, Vaporeon and I are going to talk about our failing relationship." He continued singing as he walked towards the door. "Dere's a bright golden haze on da meadow, dere's a bright golden haze on da meadow…"

"Then what are you so happy about?" asked Jesse.

"I got back at her!" Meowth said proudly. "She cheated on me, so I engaged in sexual relations with her sworn enemy!"

"Oh, that's love," muttered Jesse.

"I know more about love dan you two!" Meowth glared at him. "I know dat love is more dan wearing each other's clothes and…and…uhm…"

"Bagels?" asked James, causing Jesse to kick him in the shin.

"I'm not even going to ask!" the cat snapped as he left.

"I think I've found inner peace," Clay declared. He was lying on Allison's bed, staring blissfully at the ceiling. "No more wondering if I was wrong, no more doubting my homosexuality…"

"I know," said Allison, leaning against the bed. "Isn't finally having sex with a real man great?"

"Damn strai-hey!"

"Hi, Vaporeon!" Meowth said.

Clay and Allison looked at each other. "Hmm…he's never this happy when he comes in," said Clay.

"Kick him to the curb, Pory," said Allison. She picked up the hair brush next to her and began brushing her mussed hair. "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream," she sang. "I know you, that gleam in your eye is so familiar a dream!"

"And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem!" Clay joined in. "But if I know you, I know what you'll do…"

Meowth stared in shock at them. "Dey really…"

"Got lucky lucky?" asked Vaporeon.

"Me too!" said Meowth. "I had sex with da persian!"

Clay and Allison immediately went silent. Vaporeon's eyes began to sparkle. "You did?" she asked. "Tell me about it…"

"Giovanni's persian?" asked Allison.

Clay barely muffled a laugh. "Or yourself in a few years?" he whispered to his partner. She elbowed him in the ribs.

"A persian's a persian," Meowth said. "And..uhm…Mr. Kitty was busy…"

"Details!" Vaporeon snapped.

"Dis one had some weird name," Meowth said. "Like Falstaff or Tybalt or something…"

Mr. Kitty, Giovanni's infamous persian, yawned and stretched. He looked very pleased with himself. "Neee!" Luneon happily purred, snuggling up to him.

"Pika pikaachuu, pika pika," sang Pikachu as he skipped down the road. ("You drive me crazy, I just can't sleep!") "Pikachuu, pika ka-pi!"("I'm so excited, I'm in too deep!")

"Boy, Pikachu sure seems happy about something," said Ash.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" asked Misty.

"It sure is," said Brock. "It sure is."

"Pika pikaaachuu, pika pika-piii!"("You drive me crazy, but it feels so right!")

Ash started at his friends. It was raining. "Are you guys okay?" he asked.

"Pika pika pika ka chu pika!"("Baby thinkin' of you keeps me up all night!")

"Never felt better, Ash!" said Brock, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Me neither," sighed Misty. "Next stop, the Big Orange!"

Ash just felt confused…and a little sore.

And so, another lengthy and drawn out adventure comes to a close. Will we find our heroes in the Orange Islands--for once--next time? Will the timeline start to make sense again?