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LINKS:
Department of the Interior
Moms Humor ~ RiverSongs.com
GLORIFY GOD
Out House Memories
Angel Connection
The End of Free
AfriCam
ALTHORP
Morbid Fact Du Jour!
If they won't contact you, contact us!
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Weird Tales
The Info Service ~ Ghosts
Seeking A Knight
Playboy Of The Month
Earthquake Bulletin: NEW YORK
~ YEAH, AMERICA! ~
du musée du Louvre
Misunderstood Minds
Earth Day Network
September 11, 2001
Living and Working with Cancer
Redneck Neighbor
Robert Blake Gets Advice



Adult Links:
If you are easily Offended by
Adult Humor/Graphics/Language
DO NOT CLICK
on these
Toys for Lovers!
Peekie Booooo
A Sensible Diet!
OUCH
Its Magic!
Dessert????
I dont think So!
Some Caboose!
Talent!
They Should Market It
New Woman EveryNite?
Male Bonus
For My Male ZooBies
Lady Bonus
LOL, I cant for the Life of Me, remember
If I had this in already.......but what the hell!!
Ladies, Your Stud of the Week



HE : " can I buy you a drink? "
SHE: " Actually I'd rather have the money "


HE : I'm a photographer i've been
looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon .i've been
looking for a face like yours!!!


HE : Hi! Didn't we go on a date once?
or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the
same mistake twice!!!


HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share!!!


HE : Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry!
I'm having a headache this weekend!!!


HE : Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!


HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!


HE : I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?


HE : What would you say if I asked  u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!


HE : Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?


HE : Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!


HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.


HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.


HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.


HE : So, what do you do for a living.
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.


HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: 'Do not enter'.


HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.


HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.


HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life -
in your wildest dreams.



The Man Code

1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolate."


2. Under no circumstances may two
men share an umbrella.


3. Any man who brings a camera to a
bachelor party may be legally killed and
eaten by his fellow partygoers.


4. When you are queried by a buddy's
wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink,
dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you
need not and should not provide any
useful information whatsoever as to his
whereabouts. You are permitted to deny
his very existence.


5. Unless he murdered someone in your
immediate family, you must bail a friend
out of jail within 12 hours.


6. You may exaggerate any anecdote
told in a bar by 50 percent without
recrimination; beyond that, anyone within
earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT.
Exception:
When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable
exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent


7. If you've known a guy for more than
24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.


8. The minimum amount of time you have
to wait for another guy who's running
late is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are
required to wait 10 minutes for every point
of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.


9. Bitching about the brand of free beer
in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden.
You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.


10. No man is ever required to buy a
birthday present for another man. In fact,
even remembering a friends birthday is
strictly optional and slightly gay.


11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of
a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook
up with is your legal duty. Should you get
carried away with your good deed and end
up having sex with the beast, your pal is
forbidden to speak of it, even at
your bachelor party.


12. Before dating a buddy's ex, you
are required to ask his permission and he,
in return is required to grant it.


13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports"
must be treated as spies until they
demonstrate knowledge of the game and
the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.


14. If a man's zipper is down,
that's his problem --- you didn't see nothin'.


15. The universal compensation for buddies
who help you move is beer.


16. A man must never own a cat or
like his girlfriend's cat.


17. Your girlfriend must bond with your
buddy's girlfriends within 30 minutes of
meeting them. You are not required to make
nice with her gal pal's significant
dick-heads --- low-level sports bonding
is all the law requires.


18. When stumbling upon other guys
watching a sports event, you may always ask
the score of the game in progress, but you
may never ask who's playing.


19. When your girlfriend/wife expresses
a desire to fix her whiney friend up with
your pal, you may give her the go-ahead
only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and
give him time prepare excuses about
joining the priesthood.


20. It is permissible to consume a fruity
chick drink only when you're sunning on
a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a
topless supermodel...and it's free.


21. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.


22. A man in the company of a hot,
suggestively dressed woman must remain
sober enough to fight.


23. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned,
or too drunk to fight, you must jump into
the fight. Exception: If within the last
24 hours his actions have caused you to think,
"What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin"
then you may sit back and enjoy.


24. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to
another man while weight lifting:

"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"C'mon, give me one more!"
"Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers."
" Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"


25. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer
or the last slice of pizza, but not both.
That's just plain mean.


26. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack,
you better be referring to his beer.


27. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing
a buddy, except when she's withholding
sex pending your response.


28. Never talk to a man in the bathroom
unless you're on equal footing: either both
urinating or both waiting in line. In all other
situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.


29. If a buddy is already singing along to a
song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.


30. Before allowing a drunken friend to
cheat on his girl, you must attempt one
intervention. If he is able to get on his feet,
look you in the eye, and deliver a
"FUCK OFF!",
you are absolved of your of responsibility.


31. The morning after you and a babe
who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal,
drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're
feeling weird and guilty is no reason not
to nail her again before the discussion about
what a big mistake it was.






"RECIPES"
Chicken Tortilla Soup
Marinated Flank Steak
Authentic Mexican Tortillas
Spicy Mango Salsa
Best Guacamole
Creamy Caramel Flan
Margaretta Cake
Hairy Buffalo



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