Gilligan, His Feces & the Hut O' ShrimpJust sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip That started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny Ship. The mate was a mighty sailin' man, the Skipper brave and sure, Five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour. A three hour tour. The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost. The Minnow would be lost. The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle With Gilligan, the Skipper too, a Millionaire and his wife, A movie star, the Professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle. So this is the tale of our castways, they're here for a long, long time they'll have to make the best of things, it's an uphill climb. The first mate and his Skipper too, will do their very best, to make the others comfortable, in their tropic island nest. No phone, no light no motor car, not a single luxury, like Robinson Crusoe, it's primative as can be. So join us here each week my freinds, you're sure to get a smile, from seven stranded castways, here on "Gilligan's Isle."
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A Three Hour Tour!!??
No, it wasn't really three hours. This was a trip to a mysterious island, now known to be located near Fort Lauderdale, Florida. This island, originally the home of seven castaways, is now the home of the "wonderful" eatery Hut O' Shrimp. By wonderful, we mean horrible and not fit for human or animal consumption. This fine place is where anyone can obtain "tasty" shrimp, ribs and chicken. By tasty, we mean covered with human excrement. After all, Gilligan is the head cook. In such a small place, he needs to "take care" of his "business". By take care of his business, we mean take a poopy. |
And What Were You on When You Wrote This?
The "Jungle Queen" forces starving teenagers to go there. By Jungle Queen, we mean neither a tropical forest or head female monarch. We mean the original spaceship that the Martians on the Moon used. Their UFO was converted into a cruise machine of "fun". By fun, we mean horrible, horrible torture. While there people are forced to listen to sing-alongs and to jokes worse than those on Full House. (No, it's not a myth. There are jokes worse than the ones on Full House. Be glad you've never heard them. Very, very glad.) |
Do You Have a Point?
Stop insulting me with those questions above the paragraphs. They're hurtful. Gilligan's feces, as everyone "knows", has supernatural powers. By knows we mean perceive directly; grasp in the mind with clarity or certainty. One of these powers, is to "change" normal people into the slaves of International Fugitive Carmen Sandiego. By change, we mean to cause to be different. However, you must be wondering why the Martians would do this. There is no practical reason. It is just to help children learn about geography in a fun and entertaining manner. |
