The Monopoly Guy

That's right, the Monopoly Guy. Once the foremost economic expert in the Board Game Universe, he has recently had a life-altering experience. After learning that, due to the Bush tax bill, he can no longer pay $200 instead of his regular income tax, Rich Uncle Pennybags went on a hate-filled, drug-induced visit to the "red" properties. Any Communist connections to this visit are still being investigated. While there, he entered a bizzare, deviant "beauty" contest, and received second place. Outraged with getting only a $10 prize, he bought 3 shotguns and 2 uzi assault riffles. Using these weapons, he held up the electric company. Instead of running away before the police came, he laid down in the lobby of a nearby hotel and cried about the cost of repairing buildings until the police incarcerated him.

Rich Uncle Pennybags was not happy to be in prison. He bribed the parole board with a measly $50, and was able to roam the streets once more. After a visit to free parking (what "favors" Pennybags may have done to receive free parking are still unknown), he was able to afford a hydrogen bomb. Hidden in his tophat, Pennybags plans on going to the most sacred spot in all of Monopoly to detonate it-Connecticut Avenue.

No. Well, maybe a little. Rich Uncle Pennybags is currently on his way to Connecticut Avenue. He recently got an "eleven", and took over the business enterprises on Pennsylvania Avenue in a shady auction. The fate of the White House, US Congress and other Governmental buildings on this street is currently unknown. He is currently making his way towards a coded location known as "Go." Once he reaches this point, he shall be remarkably close to his target. In order to stop him, there is only one thing that can be done. Colonel Mustard, arch-nemisis of Uncle Pennybags and the unaninimous choice for "coolest Clue character," is the only one capable of stopping this fiend.

Uh...well, umm...shut up!! The Colonel, a detective as well as a military officer, has been investigating Rich Uncle Pennybags. He has decided, through DNA analysis, that the only way to stop Pennybags is to, through the use of a mysterious "pot" (no drug reference known of at the time of the publication of this web page) bankrupt him. Through the use of a distraction, such as "turn around, quickly!" or "look, a distraction," the other players will steal Pennybags' money. Then, while he is stil distraught, all players will roll continuosly until they reach Pennsylvania Avenue. They will then accuse Pennybags of murder, with thimble in Pennsylvania Avenue. This will send Uncle Pennnybags to jail. Hopefully, it will succeed. Only time will tell.