Christopher Columbus-Swiss Cheese
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Columbus' True Identity
Most people consider Christopher Columbus to be an Italian who discovered the Americas by accident while looking for China. In reality, he was a Native American looking to give his people the greates gift known to man at that time--SWISS CHEESE!(8 track tapes, Kenny G., and The Almighty Rick Reilly were non-existant at this time). |
The Plan
Columbus needed boats to transport himself and his cheese to the Americas. Unfortunetley, he could not reveal himself to be a Native American, or he would be the victim of racism and prejudice. So, he pretended to be Italian and convinced the Spanish royality to give him boats and money for his pretend voyage to the East Indies. |
The Problem
Unfortunately, after Colombus came to the Americas and gave Native Americans the gift of Swiss Cheese, there was a problem with the cheese. He did not realize that when you leave cheese out for a trans-atlantic journey, the cheese mutates into the worst thing known to man-a Julia Roberts comedy! This caused the Native Americans to go nuts, and left the open to being conquered by Europeans. |
