Communist Guess Who

That's right, the fun and entertaining game of guess who comes to stupidconspiracies.com. However, it isn't all fun and games in GuessWhoville. The GuessWhopeople are crammed into a small box, no bigger than a box made for board games by a mysterious man known only as "Milton Bradley." 30 people were cloned, and forced to be used to entertain children ages 6 and up. They are indiscriminately and violently swung up and down, in a very violent fashion. However, this was all changed when the GuessWhoManual was changed to secretly include The Communist Manifesto, encoded in GuessWhospeak. The manual goes as follows:

Should the bourgeoisie capitalist pigs die in a bloody overthrow of the current government that harms the urban class?
Should the proleteriats of the world unite?
Do they have nothing to lose but their chains?

Sure, that's what they want you to think. Besides, it's they're, not their. Moron. In reality, the people of GuessWhoville's lives were changed forever by the Great Board Game War. Guess Who fought a war against Monopoly Junior and Clue. Armed with a candlestick, a revolver, a knife, a lead pipe, a rope, a wrench and a large monopoly treasury, the Monopoly/Clue alliance was overpowering Czar Max' authoritarian, reactionary government. Robert, in an attempt to save GuessWhoville, revolted against the Czar and formed a provisional government. The government tried to fight the war, but was again overthrown. Bernard the Red and his disciple, Maria, formed a government based on the GuessWhoManual, and formed a Red Army, which defeated Czar Max and Robert's Blue Army, setting up the first Marxist-Bernardist government. Why'd you think Robert looks so sad?

Think about it. Everybody has an equal shot of being the person that's being guessed, regardless of whether or not they deserve it. What kind of meritocracy is that? The red board is obviously more favored than blue. 5 people have or had red hair. How many people have blue hair? Phillip is obviously a rendition of Fidel Castro. Richard, without sideburns, is Ho Chi Min. Mao Zedong is Alex. Give Phillip Alex' moustache, and think about it. How many Churchills, Roosevelts, Trumans or Kennedy's are in Guess Who. Huh? The answer is none. They were all taken out during the great Bernardist purges. These communist leaders will use their influence on the children's game industry to corrupt the young minds, and conquer the world for the psychic gypsies. Or will they?