John Rocker

I know that everybody who isn't a redneck who marries their sister knows that, but I just thought that I should make sure. Now, must people think that Rocker is just a Southern hick (which is true), but he really is the emissary of the devil on Earth who is hell-bent (no pun intended) on helping the psychic gypsies take over the world!

John Rocker is the mastermind behind the most heinous plot in American history, to breed super-rats and use them to help the Psychic Gypsies take over the world! His plan is to use Cambodia's greatest natural resource, rice (see Dan Quayle), and implant it on the rat's head. As everybody knows, Cambodian rice can infect people with the ebola virus. Using the rice, the gypsies will scare people by contaminating America's food supply. This will force the American population to starve and die, letting the gypsies take over the country!

The super-rats were originally released along the coast of the New York City area into an unamed public high school. They immediately went to every food supply they could find, and infected it with the ebola virus. The ebola virus will start to kill people within days, judging by when the rats first landed. Remember, killing all rats is the only way to stop John Rocker from taking over the country, and then the world!