~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~
I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.
This is a straightforward and dry transcript of the episode "Reptile Boy".
~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
The Summers house at night. Cut to Xander in Buffy's room. Weird Hindi music and singing is coming from the TV.
Xander: Is she dying?
The camera pans past Willow over to Buffy. She and Xander are lying on the bed. Willow is sitting on the floor letting them braid her hair.
Buffy: I think she's singing.
Xander: To a telephone in Hindi. Now that's entertainment!
The Hindi woman on TV dances around the room while singing into the phone.
Xander: Why is she singing?
Willow: She's sad because her lover gave her twelve gold coins, but then the wizard cut open the bag of salt, and now the dancing minions have no where to put their big maypole... fish thing. (takes a sip of her drink)
Xander: Uh-huh. Why is she singing?
Buffy: Her lover? I thought that was her chiropractor.
Willow: Because of that thing he did with her feet? No, that was personal.
Xander: Hmm. And we thought just because we didn't have any money or anyplace to go this would be a lackluster evening.
Willow: I know! We could go to the Bronze and sneak in our own tea bags and ask for hot water. (smiles)
Xander: Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail.
Buffy: I, for one, am giddy and up. There's a kinda hush all over Sunnydale. No demons or vampires to slay, I'm here with my friends... (tilts her head at the TV) So, how does the water buffalo fit in again?
Xander shakes his head.
Cut to the lawn in front of the Delta Zeta Kappa fraternity house. The camera pans along the grass and then up to the house.
Cut to the balcony. A girl crashes through the glass door. She rolls over the balcony railing and doesn't hesitate to drop to the ground below. A fraternity brother in a dark hooded robe rushes out onto the balcony after her. When he sees that she jumped he quickly goes back inside.
Cut to the girl on the ground now. She gets up, apparently not hurt in the fall, and begins to run as fast as she can. Five brothers, all wearing robes, come streaming out of the house after her. She runs into the trees, looks around for which way to go and makes tracks for the wall to the north. Just as she reaches it she trips and falls, but quickly gets up, climbs a low tree branch and jumps over to the wall. She shimmies over the top and drops down the other side into the cemetery. The fraternity brothers follow her over the wall one by one. She runs through the cemetery for all she's worth as the boys give chase. One of the brothers is waiting ahead of her, and she runs into him and screams.
Richard: Callie! Callie, where're you going? The party's just getting started.
She sobs uncontrollably as he shoves her over to the others, and they take her away. He has a look around to make sure no one saw, pulls his hood over his head and follows them back to the house.
Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.
~~~~ Commercial break ~~~~
Sunnydale High School. Cut to the hall. Cordelia is demonstrating her fake laugh to another girl.
Cordelia: (fake laughter) See? Dr. Debi says when a man is speaking you make serious eye contact, and you really, really listen, and you laugh at everything he says. (laughs again)
Cut to the stairs. Willow and Buffy come down and head down the hall.
Willow: You dreamed about Angel again?
Buffy: Third night in a row.
Willow: What did he do in the dream?
Buffy: Stuff.
Willow: (smiles wide) Oh! Stuff! (Buffy smiles) Was it one of those vivid dreams where you could feel his lips and smell his hair?
Buffy: It had surround sound. I'm just thinking about him so much lately.
Willow: You two are so right for each other. Except for the, uh...
Buffy: Vampire thing.
Willow: That doesn't make him a bad person. Necessarily.
Buffy: I'm brainsick. I can't have a relationship with him.
Willow: Not during the day, but you could ask him for coffee some night. It's the non-relationship drink of choice.
Xander comes out of a classroom, sees them and hurries to catch up.
Willow: It's not a date, it's a caffeinated beverage. Okay, sure, it's hot and bitter like a relationship that way, but...
Xander: What's like a relationship?
Buffy: Nothing I have. Coffee?
Xander: Huh?
He stops by Cordelia as Willow and Buffy get a drink at the fountain.
Cordelia: (to the girl) There's really no comparison between college men and high school boys. (looks up at Xander) I mean, look at that.
Xander: So, Cor, you're datin' college guys now.
Cordelia: Well, not that it's any of your business, but I happen to be dating a Delta Zeta Kappa.
Xander: Oh! An extra-terrestrial. So that's how you get a date after you exhausted all the human guys.
Cordelia: You'll go to college someday, Xander. I just know your pizza delivery career will take you so many exciting places.
Xander has no comeback for that, and joins the girls at the drinking fountain. Buffy and Willow have smiles on their faces from overhearing. The bell rings.
Buffy: (remembering) Oh! I told Giles I'd meet him in the library ten minutes ago! Aw, he won't be upset. There hasn't been much paranormal activity lately.
She heads for the library.
Cut to the library. Giles paces while he lectures her.
Giles: Just because the paranormal is more normal and less... para of late is no excuse for tardiness or letting your guard down.
Buffy: I haven't let my guard down.
Giles: Oh, really? You yawned your way through weapons training last week, you, you, you, you skipped hand-to-hand entirely... Are you gonna be prepared if a demon springs up behind you and does this?
He swings his arm over her shoulder from behind, but she grabs it and pulls it behind his back, forcing him to bend over and wince in pain. She has a bored look on her face.
Giles: (in pain) Yeah, well, I'm, I'm not a demon. Which is why you should let go now.
She lets him go.
Giles: (quietly) Thank you.
He straightens up and rubs his wrist.
Giles: When you live on top of a... a mystical convergence it's only a matter of time before a fresh hell breaks loose. Now is the time that you should train more strictly, you should hunt and patrol more keenly, you should hone your skills day and night.
Buffy: And the little slice of life that still belongs to me from, I don't know, seven to seven-oh-five in the morning, can I do what I want then?
Giles: Buffy, you think I don't know what it's like to be sixteen?
Buffy: No. I think you don't know what it's like to be sixteen. And a girl. And the Slayer.
Giles: Fair enough, no, no, I-I don't.
Buffy: Or what it's like to have to stake vampires while you're having fuzzy feelings towards one?
Giles: Uh...
Buffy: Digging on the undead doesn't exactly do wonders for your social life.
Giles: That's exactly where, where being... different, uh, comes in handy.
Buffy: Right! Who needs a social life when you've got your very own Hellmouth?
Giles: Yes! Y-you, you, you have a duty, a-a-a purpose, y-y-you have a commitment in life. Now how many people your age can say that?
Buffy: We talkin' foreign or domestic? How 'bout none?
Giles: (he's had enough) Well, here's a hard fact of life: we all have to do things we don't like! And you have hand-to-hand this afternoon and patrol tonight. So I, I suggest you come straight here at the end of, of period six a-and you get your homework done. And don't dawdle with your friends. (Buffy pouts) And, and don't think sitting there pouting is gonna get to me, because it won't.
She gives him her best pouty look.
Giles: (looks away) It's not getting to me.
Cut to the front of the building after school. Buffy is sitting on the railing of the stairs to the street. Xander and Willow are walking toward her.
Xander: Boy, what a long day.
Willow: And you skipped three classes.
Xander: Yeah, and, of course, they flew by. (they reach Buffy) Buffy!
Willow: Aren't you supposed to be doing your homework in the library?
Buffy: I'm dawdling (takes Xander's arm) with my friends.
Cordelia comes walking by and bumps into Willow. She continues down the stairs without so much as an acknowledgment.
Xander: Works for me.
A black BMW pulls up to the curb. The windows are all darkly tinted.
Buffy: (to Willow) You okay?
Willow: Jeez.
They all watch Cordelia. Cut to her reflection in the car window. She pushes her sunglasses on top of her head as the driver's window lowers.
Richard: Cordelia.
Cordelia: Hi, Richard. Nice car.
Tom in the passenger's seat notices Buffy sitting on the railing and points her out to Richard.
Richard: So, uh, we're having a little get-together tomorrow night at the house, and it's gonna be a really special evening.
Cordelia does her fake laugh. Richard and Tom don't get it.
Richard: Excuse me?
Cordelia: Oh! I would, I would love, love to go!
Richard: So, who's your friend? (indicates Buffy)
Cordelia: (looks) Her? Oh, she's not my friend.
Tom: She's amazing!
Cordelia: She's more like a sister, really! We're that close.
Richard: Well, why don't you introduce us?
Cordelia: (realizes she's trapped herself) Okay. (goes to get Buffy)
Cut to Buffy, Xander and Willow.
Xander: Okay, so tonight, channel fifty-nine, Indian TV, sex, lies, incomprehensible story lines. I'll bring the betel nuts.
Cordelia: (reaches for Buffy's hand) Come on. Richard and his fraternity brother wanna meet you.
Buffy: Well, I don't really wanna meet any fraternity boys.
Cordelia: (pulls her) And if there was a God, don't you think he'd keep it that way?
Willow and Xander watch as Cordelia drags Buffy away.
Xander: Uh, I-I believe we were dawdling here!
Cordelia brings Buffy up to Richard.
Richard: Hi, sweetheart. I'm Richard. And you are?
Buffy: So not interested. (tries to leave)
Cordelia: (grabs Buffy's hand) Heh, she's such a little comedienne.
Richard: What, she likes to play hard to get?
Tom: No, Richard. I think you're playing easy to resist.
Buffy starts to leave again. Tom paces her.
Tom: Ah, feel free to ignore him. I do all the time. (she stops) I'm Tom Warner. I'm a senior at Crestwood College, and I... and I just feel like a complete dolt meeting you this way, so... (crosses his arms) here I stand in all my doltishness.
Willow and Xander are within earshot of Tom and Buffy and overhear the conversation.
Xander: Huh-huh-huh, right. Like she's gonna fall for that.
Buffy: I'm Buffy Summers.
Tom: Oh, nice to meet you. Are you a senior here?
Buffy: Junior.
Tom: Oh, me, too. Except that I'm a senior and I'm in college. So we have that in common, and... I major in history.
Buffy: Mm. History stumps me. I have a hard enough time remembering what happened last week.
Tom: No, nothin' happened last week, don't worry, I was there.
Xander: She's gonna walk away. (pauses) Now.
Tom: So, uh, my friend invited your friend to a party we're having this weekend.
Cordelia does her fake laugh loudly for Richard.
Tom: You know, actually he's not even really my friend. I only joined the fraternity because my father and grandpa were in it before me. Y'know, it meant a lot to them.
Xander: Okay, boots, start a-walking.
Tom: Oh, I know, I talk too much anyway. They're really dull parties full of really dull people, so... would you like to come and save me from a really dull fate?
Buffy: Oh, I wish I could, but I'm sort of involved.
Tom: Well, sure, of course you are. Well, thanks for letting me ramble.
Buffy: Y'know, people underestimate the value of a good ramble.
Giles spots her talking to Tom and calls out to her.
Giles: Buffy!
She turns to look and sees him pointing at his watch and walk off to the library.
Buffy: Oh, I gotta go. (turns to go but stops and smiles) It was nice to meet you.
Tom: Oh. Same here.
Buffy hops up the stairs. Xander hands her bag to her, and she runs off to the library. Tom watches her go.
Xander: I hate these guys. Whatever they want just falls into their laps. Don't you hate these guys?
Willow: Yeah, with their charmed lives and their movie star good looks and more money than you can count? I'm hating.
Cut to the library. Giles comes out of the cage holding a sword in one hand and a stick in the other.
Giles: I'm going to attack you. A word of warning: for your own good, I won't be pulling any punches. (adopts a fighting stance)
Buffy: Please don't.
She kicks the sword out of his left hand. He looks at her a bit dismayed, but quickly swings the stick at her. She sidesteps him, and the end of the stick hits the floor. She pins his arm down and stomps on the stick, breaking it. He tries to lunge at her, but she sidesteps again, and he runs into the table and slides across the top.
Giles: Good. So, um, you're on patrol and, uh, I'll see you in the morning.
Cut to the cemetery at night. Buffy strolls through, keeping a careful watch. She spots a bracelet on the ground and bends down to pick it up. Angel suddenly appears behind her.
Angel: There's blood on it.
Buffy: (gets up startled and faces him) Hi. It's nice to... Blood?
Angel: I can smell it.
Buffy: Oh. (looks at the bracelet) It's pretty thin. It probably belonged to a girl.
Angel: Probably.
Buffy: (exhales) I-I was... just thinking, wouldn't it be funny some time to see each other when it wasn't a blood thing. (smiles briefly) Not funny ha, ha.
Angel: What are you sayin', you wanna have a date?
Buffy: No.
Angel: You don't wanna have a date?
Buffy: Who said 'date'? I-I-I never said 'date'.
Angel: Right. You just wanna have coffee or somethin'.
Buffy: (hopefully) Coffee?
Angel: I knew this was gonna happen.
Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?
Angel: You're sixteen years old. I'm two hundred and forty-one.
Buffy: I've done the math.
Angel: You don't know what you're doing, you don't know what you want...
Buffy: Oh. No, I, I think I do. I want out of this conversation. (starts to walk past him)
Angel: (bumps into her) Listen, if we date you and I both know one thing's gonna lead to another.
Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?
Angel: I'm just tryin' to protect you. This could get outta control.
Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
He grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her closer. She draws a startled breath.
Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I wanna die.
She pulls herself free and runs off.
Cut to school the next morning. Cut to a classroom. Class is over and the students are leaving. Buffy slowly gets up from her desk and gathers her things. Cordelia comes into the room.
Cordelia: Buffy! Did you lose weight? And your hair... Alright, I respect you too much to be dishonest. The hair's a little... (smiles widely) Well, that really isn't the point here, is it? The Zeta Kappas have to have a certain balance at their party, and Richard explained it all to me, but I was so busy really listening that I didn't hear much. Anyway, the deal is they need you to go. And if you don't go, I can't. And I'm talking about Richard Anderson, okay? As in Anderson Farms, Anderson Aeronautics (becomes emotional) and Anderson Cosmetics. (sobs) Well, you see why I have to go. Buffy, these men are rich. And I am not being shallow. Think of all the poor people I could help with all my money!
Buffy: (off in her own world) I'll go.
Cordelia: (surprised) You'll go? (huge smile) Great! I'll drive. Oh, Buffy, it's like we're sisters! With really different hair.
She turns to leave and can't believe she just said what she did. Buffy can't believe it either.
Cut to the fraternity house basement. A pledge is taking the oath of brotherhood.
Richard: I pledge my life and my death...
Pledge: I pledge my life and my death...
Richard: To the Delta Zeta Kappas, and to Machida whom we serve...
Pledge: To the Delta Zeta Kappas, and to Machida whom we serve...
Richard: On my oath before my assembled brethren...
He starts to carve a symbol into the pledge's chest with the tip of a sword.
Pledge: (ignores the pain) On my oath before my assembled brethren...
Richard: I promise to keep our secret from this day until my death.
Pledge: I promise to keep our secret from this day until my death.
Richard is finished carving and lowers the sword.
Richard: In blood I was baptized. In blood I shall reign. In his name.
Pledge: In blood I was baptized, and in blood I shall reign. In his name.
Richard: You are now one of us.
Pledge: In his name!
Brothers: In his name.
Richard puts the sword aside and shakes the pledge's hand.
Richard: Brewski time!
A brother tosses him a beer. As he opens it he walks over to Callie, who is shackled to the wall.
Richard: So what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?
Callie: (begs) Let me go.
Richard: Let you go? Okay, let me think. Um, no! (laughs) God, I love high school girls. Mm!
He walks off to join the party. Callie lowers her head and weeps.
~~~~ Commercial break ~~~~
The lounge. Willow gathers her things to go to class.
Willow: You're going to the fraternity party? What made you change your mind?
Buffy: Angel.
Willow: He's going with you? (to Xander) She's got a date with Angel! Isn't that exciting?
Xander: I'm elated. (gets up from the couch)
Buffy: I-I'm not going with Angel. I'm going with -- ye gods -- Cordelia. (starts out of the lounge)
Willow: Cordelia?! (to Xander) Did I sound a little jealous just then, 'cause I'm not really... (runs after Buffy) Cordelia?!
Xander: Cordelia's much better for you than Angel. (hurries after them)
Willow: (catches up) What happened with Angel?
Buffy: Nothing, as usual. A whole lotta nothing with Angel.
Xander: Bummer.
They head down the hall.
Willow: I don't understand. I mean, he likes you. More than likes.
Buffy: Angel barely says two words to me.
Xander: Don't you hate that?
Buffy: And when he does, he treats me like I'm a child.
Xander: That bastard!
Buffy: You know, at least Tom can carry on a conversation.
Xander: Yeah! Tom? Who's Tom?
Willow: The frat guy.
Xander: Oh, Buffy, I don't think so. Frying pan, fire? You know what I'm sayin'.
Cut to the library. Giles comes out of his office carrying a sword behind his back and looks around. Seeing there's no one there he starts practicing a few thrusts to his front and back. He spins around and thrusts again.
Giles: Will you be ready if a vampire's behind you?
He thrusts the sword behind him, pretending he just jabbed one. He raises the sword above his head to stab his pretend fallen victim. Buffy, Willow and Xander come in through the door and see him. He hears the door and looks back. When he sees it's them he tries to make like nothing's going on.
Giles: I didn't see you three... creeping about.
He tosses the sword through the open cage door and kicks the door shut.
Giles: Um, how did it go last night?
Buffy: Found this. (gives him the bracelet)
Giles: (reads the inscription) E-N-T.
Willow: I've seen something like that before.
Buffy: It's broken in two. I don't know what the rest of the letters might have spelled. And there's blood on it.
Giles: Uh, I didn't see any.
Buffy: Angel showed up. He could smell it.
Xander: The blood? There's a guy you wanna party with.
Giles: Blood.
Willow: In Sunnydale. What a surprise.
Xander: Okay, here's what we're gonna do: she should probably make the rounds again tonight, and we should try to figure out who that bracelet belongs to.
Giles: Yes, good idea, yes. She'll patrol, and, and we'll reconvene...
Buffy: (interrupting) Uh, hello? She's standing right here? And she's not available.
Giles: Why not?
Xander: Buffy, this is a little more important than...
Buffy: I've got a mountain of homework to do, and, um... my mom's not really feeling well, and she could probably use my help, and, um, to be truthful I'm not really feeling all that well myself.
Willow can't believe what she's hearing and stares at Buffy.
Giles: Oh, w-w-well, um, sorry, of course. If-if-if you're not well.
Buffy: Oh, I'll take an early pass this evening, and, um, one later on, but for the bulk of the evening...
Giles: Oh, you should stay home with your mother.
Cut to the halls. The three of them come out of the library. Xander gives Buffy a stern look.
Buffy: Well, say it.
Xander: I'm not gonna say it.
Willow: You lied to Giles.
Xander: 'Cause she will.
Buffy: Look, I wasn't lying. I was just... protecting him from information that he wouldn't be able to... digest properly.
Xander: Like a corn dog.
Willow: Like you don't have a sick mother, but you'd rather go to a frat party where there's gonna be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.
Xander: Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?
Buffy: There's no orgies!
Willow: I heard a lot of wild things go on at frat parties.
Buffy: Okay, you know what? Look, seven days a week I am busy saving the world. Once in a great while I wanna have some fun. And that's what I'm gonna have tonight. Fun!
Cut to later in the lounge. Buffy and Cordelia are sitting at a table.
Cordelia: This isn't about fun. This is about duty, your duty, to help me achieve permanent prosperity. Okay? Do's and dont's: don't wear black, silk, chiffon or spandex. These are my trademarks. And don't do that weird thing with your hair.
Buffy: What weird thing with my...
Cordelia: Don't interrupt. Do be interested if someone should speak to you. It may or may not happen, but do be polite. And laugh at the appropriate intervals. (demonstrates) Do lie to your mom about where we're going. It's a fraternity, and there will be drinking.
Xander and Willow come over to the table. Xander is munching on a power bar. Willow has a Coke.
Xander: So, Cor, you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation, or just going with a halter top tonight?
Cordelia: Oh, are we feeling a little envious? You could belong to a fraternity of rich and powerful men. In the Bizarro world.
Xander has no comeback again.
Buffy: Do you guys wanna join us?
Xander: Nah, I gotta... digest and all.
He and Willow go up to the couches and sit down.
Cordelia: Makeup, makeup... Well, give it your all, and keep to the shadows. We're gonna have a blast! (smiles)
Buffy lets her head fall to the table. Cut to Xander and Willow on the couch.
Willow: I can't believe she lied to Giles. My world is all askew.
Xander: Buffy's lying, Buffy's going to frat parties... That's not askew, that's cockeyed.
Willow: Askew means cockeyed.
Xander: Oh.
He grabs her Coke and takes a swig. She grabs his bar and breaks off a piece.
Willow: Well, there's nothing we can do about it. We'll help Giles.
Xander: I'm goin' to the party.
Willow: What?
Xander: I gotta keep an eye on Buffy. Those frat guys creep me.
Willow: You wanna protect her?
Xander: Mm-hm.
Willow: And prove that you're just as good as those rich, snotty guys?
Xander: Mm-hm.
Willow: Maybe catch an orgy?
Xander: If it's on early.
Willow nods her head and pops the piece of power bar into her mouth. Xander takes another swig of her Coke.
Cut to the street in front of the fraternity house that night. Cordelia comes screeching in to park and smacks the car in front of her. Cut inside the car.
Cordelia: Ohh! Why do they park so darn close to you? Are you ready for this? (checks her hair)
Buffy: I dunno. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
Cordelia: Me, too. Let's go!
She gets out of the car and closes the door.
Cordelia: C'mon!
Cut inside the fraternity house. Two girls come in through the door and walk through the room. A couple of fraternity brothers watch them walk by.
Tackle: Beaucoup babes!
Linebacker: Ooo, yeah!
The camera slowly pans across the room to Buffy and Cordelia.
Cordelia: You know what's so cool about college? The diversity. You've got all the rich people, and all the other people. (spots Richard) Richard!
Richard: Welcome, ladies. (hands them drinks)
Cordelia: Thank you.
Buffy: Oh, i-is there alcohol in this?
Richard: Just a smidge.
Cordelia: C'mon, Buffy, it's just a smidge.
Buffy: I'll just... (sets the drink down)
Richard: I understand. When I was your age I wasn't into grownup things either. Have you seen our multi-media room?
Cordelia: Oh, the one with the cherry walnut paneling and the two forty-eight-inch televisions on satellite feed? No. Wanna show me? (smiles)
Richard: What about...
Cordelia: Oh, her? She's happiest by herself.
They go off and leave Buffy standing there by herself.
Cut to a side window. Xander pokes his head in, looks around and climbs in. "Wolves", by Shawn K. Clement and Sean W. Murray, plays on the stereo.
Lyrics: Her name is Alexandra / She walks into the room
He loses his balance and falls through the window onto the floor.
Lyrics: All the eyes, eyes, are upon her
He hops back up and takes a drink from a tray that's being passed around by a half-naked pledge.
Xander: Cheers!
Lyrics: Well the girl / I think she's got her hungry eyes on you
Xander walks into the room and has a look around.
Lyrics: Yeah, on you, you
He looks at a girl as she walks by. He continues through the room.
Lyrics: She says she runs with the wolves
He comes into the next room, but doesn't notice Buffy behind him. She's looking the other way and doesn't see him either. He looks at another girl passing by, but is distracted by a tray of hors-d'oeuvres being carried around by another pledge in drag. He reaches for the tray and follows it away.
Lyrics: She thinks she runs with the wolves
Buffy turns around. She's bored and lonely and fidgets with her hands. She looks down at her drink and picks it up again.
Lyrics: Love is in the air
She stirs it idly for a moment, then realizes she really doesn't want it and puts it back down. She looks around the room at the people dancing. A new song starts, "She", by Louie Says.
Lyrics: Bend and I'll break you
The dance crowd separates for a moment and a handsome Young Man on the other side of the room looks at her. He raises his drink to her. Tackle and Linebacker are standing behind him, watching.
Lyrics: Leave and I'll take you back again
She notices him, picks up her drink again and raises it to him. She takes a small sip as he raises his drink for a sip also. Tackle is drunk. He notices Buffy and starts to stagger toward her.
Tackle: New girl!
He grabs the Young Man for balance and pulls him away before he even gets his drink to his lips.
Young Man: Easy, man!
Tackle: Dance!
Lyrics: So bend and I'll break you
Buffy looks up from putting her drink back down and stares at him in wide-eyed surprise when she sees him coming for her.
Tackle: (laughs and staggers over to her) C'mon, sweetheart, ha, ha, yeah!
Lyrics: Leave and I'll take you back again
Tom appears in the nick of time and takes her arm.
Tom: Can I have this dance?
Tackle: C'mon!
Tom pulls her away to the dance area just as Tackle is about to crash into her. He looks up surprised at her disappearance. He sees another girl walk by and follows her instead.
Lyrics: If she bends, then she breaks
Buffy: Thanks.
Lyrics: She loves you, but then she takes it away
Tom: No. We're not all a bunch of drunken louts. Some of us are sober louts.
Lyrics: She bends and she bows
Tom: I'm really glad that you decided to come.
Lyrics: She's cold, but she melts like snow
Buffy looks down.
Tom: And you're not.
Buffy: No, it's... I shouldn't be here.
Lyrics: Bend and I'll break you
Tom: Because you're seeing someone.
Buffy: No.
Tom: You're not seeing someone?
Lyrics: Sleep and I'll wake you tonight
Buffy: Someone's not seeing me.
Tom: So, why shouldn't you be here?
Lyrics: Hey, don't you want to understand / Understand that
Buffy: Because I have obligations. People that I'm responsible for, or to, or... (Tom laughs and so does she) with, or... It's complicated.
Lyrics: If she bends, then she breaks
Tom: You're big on responsibility. I like that. But there's such a thing as being too mature.
Lyrics: She loves you, but then she takes it away
Tom: You should relax. Enjoy yourself once in a while.
Lyrics: She bends and she bows
Buffy: You think I'm too mature?
Tom: (chuckles) I talk too much. Have you picked up on that yet?
Lyrics: She's cold, but she melts like snow
Tom: Anyway, the, uh, the Hulk is gone, so you don't have to dance with me.
Lyrics: She bends, she breaks
Buffy: He might come back.
Lyrics: She hates you, but then she makes a mistake
She continues dancing with Tom. Cut to Xander talking to two girls. Another hors-d'oeuvre tray passes by, and he grabs another one.
Lyrics: Confused and a lot to take / And where to fall out and when
Xander: (playing with his hors-d'oeuvres) Godzilla's attacking downtown Tokyo! Argh! Argh!
Richard is watching Xander. Tackle and Linebacker join him.
Lyrics: Hey, yes
Tackle: Who's this dork?
Lyrics: She won't be good to you
Richard: Never seen him before in my life.
Lyrics: And I hate the way that I am
Linebacker: We got us a crasher!
The three of them come up to Xander.
Lyrics: I hate the way I am
Xander: (to the girls) So, have either of you seen a pair of girls here? One's about so high... (notices the guys) Hey, guys!
Tackle: New pledge.
Linebacker: New pledge!
Tackle: (grabs Xander and yells) New pledge!
Together: (dragging him off) New pledge! New pledge! New pledge! New pledge! New pledge!
Cut outside to the patio. Buffy strolls out of the house alone. It's chilly, and she rubs her arms a bit and crosses them. She steps on a piece of glass and looks down. There are several small pieces there and she crouches to pick one up. She looks up above her and notices the door to the balcony has been boarded up. Tom is outside now, too, and notices her as she stands back up.
Tom: You okay?
Buffy: (drops the piece of glass and exhales) Yeah. I was... just thinking.
Richard finds them there, too, and hands them both drinks.
Richard: To my Argentinean junk bonds that just matured into double digits!
Tom: Uh, to maturity.
Buffy: What the hell. I'm tired of being mature.
She gulps the drink. The two boys raise their eyebrows and drink theirs also.
Cut to the library. Willow and Giles are playing word games, trying to figure out what the word on the bracelet might be. Willow types the words as they think of them.
Willow: Bent.
Giles: Sent.
Willow: Rent.
Giles: Uh, Lent. Dent.
Willow: Went. Kent. Kent! That's it!
Giles: Her boyfriend's name was Kent?
Willow: No! Kent Preparatory School. Just outside of town. That's where I've seen these bracelets.
Giles: Wh-what are you doing?
Willow: Pulling up their school newsletter for the past few months. See if there's anything about...
Giles: A missing girl.
The most recent issue of the newsletter has a picture of Callie on the front page. The title of the article reads 'Callie Our Hearts & Prayers Are With You'.
Cut to the fraternity house. Xander is being hazed. Linebacker grabs his cheeks to pucker his lips and smears lipstick on them. Everyone is laughing hysterically. "Bring Me On", by Act of Faith, is playing on the sound system.
Lyrics: Say what you say when you say what you've gotta say / Do you fear what you hear are you gonna fear / Do you know what you know when you gotta know / No, No, No
Tackle: C'mon, dance, pretty boy!
The camera pulls back from Xander's face. They've put a skirt and a huge bra on him. He does his usual lame dancing while the party guests cheer him on.
Tackle: Keep it movin'! (laughs) C'mon! Shake it, don't break it! Wrap it up and I'll take it!
Xander: (nervous) Okay, big fun guys. Uhhh, who's next?
Tackle puts a blonde wig on his head.
Tackle: You are, doll face! Keep on dancin'! Ah, alright!
Cut to Buffy at the front door. She's woozy from the drink and steadies herself against the wall.
Tackle: Oh! Keep it up! Yes! C'mon! Keep it goin'! Ah, ha!
Buffy makes her way over to the stairs. She knocks down a drink, but can't react fast enough to catch it. She looks up at the commotion in the next room.
Buffy: Tom?
Through hazy eyes and a wobbly head she sees Xander dancing with his back to her. Slowly she starts to make her way up the stairs to find a place to rest. In the other room Tackle and Linebacker continue to goad Xander on. Cut upstairs to a bedroom. Buffy pushes open the door, comes in and bumps into a sculpture.
Buffy: Ooo! Ooo, sorry...
She steadies herself and heads for the bed.
Buffy: Okay. (crawls onto the bed) Nice bed. Just need to stop spinning for at least...
She lies down and falls asleep. Richard shows up at the door. He pushes it open and peeks in. He comes in when he sees Buffy asleep on the bed. He rolls her over onto her back and smiles as he brushes his hand along her neck. He's suddenly pulled away from her and shoved against the wall.
Tom: Get away from her!
Richard: I wasn't doing anything!
Tom: I saw what you were doing.
Richard: I was just having a little fun.
Tom: Well, she's not here for your fun, you pervert. She's here for the pleasure of the one we serve.
Richard: (ashamed) In his name.
Tom: And that goes for the other one, too.
The camera pans from Tom down to Buffy on the bed and continues to Cordelia on the floor.
~~~~ Commercial break ~~~~
The library. Giles picks up the printout of the Newsletter's front page.
Giles: Callie Megan Anderson. Missing for over a week. No one's seen her, no one knows what happened to her.
Willow: This being Sunnydale and all I guess we can rule out something good.
Giles: I'm calling Buffy.
Willow: No!
Giles: Why not?
Willow: (nervous) Because Buffy... a-a-and her mother...
Giles: Are sick. No, you're quite right. No, there's no point in disturbing them until we know more.
Willow turns her attention back to the PC. Some more information comes up.
Willow: You mean, like, if there're others? Brittany Oswald, junior at St. Michael's, disappeared a year ago. So did Kelly Percell, sophomore at Grant.
Giles: A year.
Willow: Almost to the day.
Giles: An anniversary or perhaps some other event significant to the killer.
Willow: Killer? Now there's a killer? We don't know that there's a...
Giles: No, but this being Sunnydale and all.
Willow: Gulp.
Giles: (exhales) We need to know where Buffy found that bracelet, and then we can begin our search there. (reaches for the phone)
Willow: Good idea. Call Angel. (gets a confused look from Giles) Uh, he was there when Buffy found it. We're gonna need all the help we can get.
Giles agrees with her logic.
Cut to the fraternity house front door. The party is over. Tackle shoves Xander out of the house. Linebacker throws him his clothes.
Linebacker: Party's over, jerkwater.
Xander: Wait, a friend of mine was here.
Tackle: Y'know, in that light, with that wig on and all... you're still butt-ugly!
They laugh and close the door in Xander's face. He drops his clothes, pulls off the wig, and throws it down. He undoes the bra, takes it off and throws it down, too.
Cut to the basement. Richard takes a sword and walks behind a kneeling Tom. Tom has a series of symbols carved onto his chest. Richard begins to carve another one on Tom's back. The camera pans over to the three girls shackled to the wall.
Cordelia: Buffy? Where are we?
Buffy: In the basement, far as I can tell.
Cordelia: What's happening? What did they do to us?
Buffy: They drugged us.
Cordelia: Why? What are they gonna do to us?
Buffy: I don't know.
Cordelia: (whines) I wanna go home.
Callie: No one's going home. Ever. Look, one of them's different than the others. (looks at Tom) Nicer.
Buffy: (whispers) Tom.
Richard is finished carving Tom's new symbol. He gets up and turns to the girls. Two brothers help him on with his robe.
Callie: He's the one to watch out for.
Buffy shakes her chain a bit and looks up where it's anchored. Tom looks at her.
Tom: She's last.
Cordelia: Last? For what?
Tom walks over to the well and picks up a bag.
Cordelia: Who's first?! Answer me! Who's first?!
Tom lets three stones drop out of the bag and into his hand.
Buffy: Three stones. (looks at Cordelia and Callie) Three of us.
Cordelia: (beginning to panic) Buffy...
Buffy: Stay calm. We'll get outta this.
Tom pours water over the stones.
Cordelia: Why'd I ever let you talk me into coming here?
Buffy can't believe her ears. Tom is done with his stone-cleansing ritual and faces the girls. He stares at Buffy.
Cut to the library.
Angel: She found the bracelet in the cemetery. Near the south wall.
Giles: South wall.
Willow stares at the window in fascination. Angel casts no reflection in it.
Giles: (to Willow) What are you doing?
Willow: Oh! Sorry. The reflection thing that you don't have. Angel, how do you shave? (the men exchange a look) South wall. That's near the college and... the fraternity house!
Giles: A fraternity?
Willow nods nervously.
Angel: Could they be taking these girls? (Willow nods again) Let's get out there!
Giles and Angel start to go. Willow holds back.
Willow: Buffy!
Giles: W-we don't know that it's concrete. Uh, let's not disturb her until...
Willow: Is there! With Cordelia. They went to a party at the Zeta Kappa house.
Giles: She lied to me?
Willow: (nervous) Well...
Angel: Did... she have a date?
Willow: Well... (Angel huffs) Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! (to Giles) And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! (to Angel) And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?!
Angel and Giles are speechless.
Willow: Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've gotta help Buffy.
She hurries out of the library. Giles and Angel follow shortly behind.
Cut to the street in front of the fraternity house. Xander walks past a few cars. He's still wearing the skirt and carries his clothes in a bundle.
Xander: One day I'll have money. Prestige. Power. And on that day they'll still have more.
He walks past Cordelia's car, and it looks familiar to him. He checks the license plate and it reads 'QUEEN C'. It's Cordelia's car, alright. He looks back up at the house a moment, and then makes his way back to it.
Cut to the basement. The ritual is continuing. Tom is standing on the basement stairs holding the sword.
Tom: Machida. (starts down)
Brothers: In his name.
Tom: We who serve you, we who receive all that you bestow, call upon you in this holy hour.
Brothers: In this holy hour.
He turns to walk toward Richard, holding the sword horizontally in both hands.
Tom: We have no wealth, no possession... except that which you give us.
Brothers: Except that which you give us.
He places the sword on Richard's arms.
Tom: We have no power, no place in the world... except that which you give us.
Brothers: Except that which you give us.
Richard hugs the sword to his chest, crossing his hands over his heart.
Cordelia: What are they, some kind of cult or something?
Buffy: Yeah, a psycho cult.
Cordelia: You've gotta do something.
Tom: It's been a year since our last offering.
Richard lowers the sword and rests the tip on the floor.
Tom: A year in which our bounty overflowed. We come before you with fresh offerings.
Cordelia: Offerings? He's talking about us?
Callie: Do you see anyone else chained up in here?
Tom: Accept our offering, Dark Lord, and bless us with your power. Machida!
Brothers: Machida!
Tom tosses the stones into the well at the center of the basement one at a time.
Cordelia: (frightened) What's down there?
Tom: Come forth, and let your terrible countenance look upon your servants, and their humble offering. We call you, Machida.
Brothers: In his name. Machida.
Cordelia: There's something down there and he's gonna throw us down there with it.
Buffy: I don't think so.
Cordelia: No? Well, that's good! That, that's...
Buffy: I don't think we go to it. I think it comes to us.
Cordelia: (terrified) Ooohhhhhhh! No!
Tom looks up, awaiting Machida's arrival. The camera closes in on the well, and suddenly Machida rises out of it.
Cordelia: Oh, my God! (screams)
It's a half-man, half-snake, green and scaly. He growls as he looks at the girls. Cordelia keeps screaming at the top of her lungs. Buffy stares at Machida in wide-eyed horror.
~~~~ Commercial break ~~~~
The basement. Buffy tries to yank her chains from the ceiling.
Cordelia: C'mon, Buffy! Oh, my God! Oh, c'mon! Oh!
Machida remains stationary and spreads his arms.
Tom: For he shall rise from the depths, and we shall tremble before him.
The camera pans down and over to Tom.
Tom: He who is the source of all we inherit and all we possess. Machida.
Brothers: Machida.
Tom: And if he is pleased with our offerings, then our fortune shall increase.
Brothers: Machida. Let our fortunes increase.
Tom: And on the tenth day of the tenth month he shall be enhungered. And we shall feed him.
Machida gazes over at the girls.
Cordelia: Feed him?
Machida rises before her.
Cordelia: Feed him?!
Buffy renews her efforts to break the chains from the ceiling.
Cordelia: Oh, no!
Cut outside. Angel, Willow and Giles walk through the bushes from the street to the lawn.
Willow: Looks like everyone's gone.
They look up at the house as a robed figure comes up behind them. The figure steps on some foliage, and Angel instantly spins around to confront him.
Angel: Hey!
Xander: Hey! (lifts the hood from his eyes) What are you guys doing here?
Willow: A bunch of girls are missing, and the Zeta Kappas may be involved, and Buffy. Are you wearing makeup?
Xander smears the lipstick off with his fingers.
Xander: No. I think Buffy's still inside somewhere with Cordelia. Her car's still here.
Giles: Why are you wearing that? (indicates the robe)
Xander: Oh, I found it in their trash. I saw them through the window. They were wearing robes and went down to the basement. I was gonna use it to sneak in.
Giles: They may be involved in some kind of ritual.
Willow: With the missing girls.
Angel: (growls, vamped out) With Buffy!
Xander: Okay, that is the guy you wanna party with.
Cut to the basement. Machida closes in on Cordelia and she screams.
Buffy: Hey, reptile boy! (gets his attention)
Tom: No woman speaks to him!
Buffy: You don't want her. Look at her. She's all skin and bones. Half an hour later you'll be hungry.
Tom: (comes over to Buffy) I told you to shut up!
He backhand punches her and holds up his sword.
Tom: You speak again and I'll cut your throat.
Cut upstairs. Xander steps up to the door holding his head down and knocks. Tackle comes to the door to answer.
Xander: Got locked out dumping the trash. Let me in. I don't wanna miss the, uh...
Tackle opens the door and waves him in.
Tackle: Come on.
Xander: ...you know what. (throws back his hood) Where are they?!
He punches Tackle in the face and knocks him down, but has really hurt his hand doing it. Angel comes in behind him and punches out Linebacker. Willow and Giles follow them in.
Cut to the basement. Two brothers unchain Cordelia and hold her. Tom hears the commotion upstairs.
Tom: Something's going on upstairs. (to the brothers) Go. Go!
Several of them rush upstairs to see what's going on. Buffy looks up at her chains again, then back at Machida.
Tom: Feed, Dark Lord!
Machida rises above Cordelia, then moves in to take her from the brothers' grip. She screams loudly and struggles. Buffy yanks hard at her chains again, and they finally break loose from the ceiling. She quickly steps over to Machida and punches him in the face. He pulls back away from them, holding the side of his face. Buffy starts fighting the brothers. Tom takes a swing at her with his sword.
Cut upstairs. Angel throws a brother to the floor. Willow jumps over him, runs to the basement door and goes in. Xander is on Tackle's back, punching him.
Xander: That's for the wig! (punches again) That's for the bra!
Giles struggles with a door. A brother tries to grab him from behind, but he elbow-punches him and knocks him out. Willow comes back out of the basement door.
Willow: Some guy's attacking Buffy with a sword! Also there's a really big snake!
Angel punches another brother and sends him reeling into the sill of an opening in the wall. Willow screams and backs off as the brother falls to the floor. Xander keeps punching Tackle.
Xander: That's for the makeup! (punches again, knocking him out) And that's for the last sixteen and a half years!
Willow: Guys! Buffy! Snake! Basement! Now!
She heads back into the basement as the others jump to follow. Angel punches out a brother who is giving chase. Cut to the basement.
Tom: You bitch! I'll serve you to him in pieces.
He attacks her with the sword, but she catches the blade in her chains, throws a loop of it around his neck and pulls him in.
Buffy: Tom, you talk too much.
She shoves him away, and he rolls over a table, knocking everything off of it. Machida grabs Cordelia and starts to drag her away as the others come down the stairs. Buffy picks up the sword and jumps up onto the edge of the well. She holds the sword above her head, ready to strike.
Buffy: Let her go, wormy!
Machida doesn't heed her warning and continues to hold on to Cordelia, so Buffy wields back the sword and slashes it into him. He drops Cordelia and rears back, screaming in pain. A moment later he drops to the floor dead. Buffy makes a face at the grossness of it. Willow comes down the rest of the steps and goes over to free Callie. Buffy comes down to look at what's left of Machida. Angel is behind her. Giles helps Cordelia up.
Cordelia: You did it! You saved us! (grabs Angel in a tight hug) I've never been so happy to see anyone in my whole... (lets go) You guys. (cries) I just... hate you guys! The weirdest things always happen when you're around!
Angel brings Tom over. Cordelia grabs him by the shirt.
Cordelia: And you! You're going to jail for fifteen thousand years!
She lets go of him and starts up the stairs. Angel shoves Tom up the stairs ahead of him. Giles puts his fists on his hips and gives Buffy a stern look. She looks down in shame.
Buffy: I told one lie, I had one drink.
Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words 'let that be a lesson' are a tad redundant at this juncture.
Buffy: I'm sorry. (looks at him for forgiveness)
Giles: So am I. I... I drive you too hard because I-I know what you have to face. From now on no, no more pushing, no more prodding. Just, uh, an inordinate amount of nudging.
Buffy smiles up at him and then starts up the stairs. Giles takes her arm and goes up with her.
Cut to the Bronze. Jonathon is at the bar anxiously waiting for a large cup of cappuccino.
Jonathon: C'mon, hurry!
Barmaid: Here you go.
She hands him the large cup and saucer and he takes it and a plate with a muffin over to Cordelia.
Cordelia: Thank you, Jonathon. (looks at the cappuccino) Did we forget something?
Jonathon: Um... Cinnamon, chocolate, half-caf, nonfat.
Cordelia just looks at him. He realizes his mistake.
Jonathon: Extra foam!
Cordelia grabs the muffin and waves the cappuccino away. She steps over to Xander, Willow and Buffy at their table. Xander is reading the Sunnydale Press.
Cordelia: Young men are the only way to go. (leaves)
Xander: Says here that they've all been sentenced to consecutive life sentences. Investigators found the bones of missing girls in a huge cavern beneath the frat house. And older bones dating back fifty years.
Buffy and Willow exchange a grossed-out look.
Xander: A surprising number of corporations whose chairmen and founders are former Delta Zeta Kappas are suffering from falling profits, IRS raids... Ooo, and suicides in the boardroom. Hmm. Starve a snake, lose a fortune. Boy, I guess the rich really are different, huh?
Willow: (to Buffy) Have you heard from Angel? When he got so mad about you being in danger, and changed into a (makes a face) grr, it was the most amazing thing I ever saw. I mean, how many guys can...
Angel comes down the stairs and over to stand behind Xander.
Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? (notices Angel) Hey, man, how you doin'?
Angel: Buffy.
Buffy: Angel.
Xander: (in a deep voice) Xander! (shakes his head)
Angel: I hear this place, uh, serves coffee. (Xander looks up at him) I thought maybe you and I should get some. Sometime. If you want.
Buffy permits herself a bit of a smile.
Buffy: Yeah. Sometime. I'll let you know.
Angel eyes her suspiciously. Buffy gets up and leaves with a smile on her face.
END Credits.
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