It was a dark and stormy evening. It was late October and the leaves were changing color. The time was around 8:30 pm. The place was Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
Two unsuspecting young teenagers were coming back from one of their favorite restaurants, "Graham's". They were walking down the street laughing and talking, when all of a sudden they were confronted by their summer crush objects (from their camp Ipsvak), Justin and Alfonse.
Now, it was very unusual for the girls to see these two together, especially at this time of night and in this neighborhood. Alfonse looked a little like a mop turned up, as usual. He was a bit of a dork. He laughed like a tire pump and he wore the same clothes for a millennium at a time, but Diana loved him all the same (he was also a bit into recreational herbs, if you know what we mean).
Justin had blond hair and a cute face. He had big brown puppy-dog eyes, which made him look as innocent as hell. Cassie adored Justin, but little did she know, he wasn't all she thought he was.
"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Cassie cried, surprised but happy. Justin and Alfonse looked at each other.
"Do you want to get a bite to eat?" said Diana. All of a sudden, the guys' eyes lit up.
"Sure!" grinned Alfonse.
"We know a great place." said Justin. "There's a shortcut back through here." He gestured to a dark alley behind him.
Now the girls thought this was just too good to be true, but they had to consider it. This took about 2 seconds.
"OKAY!" The girls both cried in unison, sounding a little too much like 3-year-olds about to get candy. The boys just smiled as if they were keeping a secret.
Well, the girls, as you could tell, were as pleased as punch. And so were the boys, only for not quite the same reason. The eager young men put their arms around the girls' shoulders, and led the two girls into the moonless passageway. The only light was the gleam of their eyes, which, when fixed on the girls, was almost a kiss of death. Diana uttered a short sentence. "Where exactly are we going?"
This drifted into the darkness, but was struck through like an aarow by the blood-curdling screams which now stung the air with a cold blow. The fangs of the young boys gleamed with blood as they pierced the raw flesh for the first time.
Then, all was quiet. All was normal, and no trace of that night's atrocity could be felt, except the chill that swept the neighborhood all in one, cool, heart stopping second.
Just as the sun was rising, the girls awoke to see Justin and Alfonse staring down at them.
"What's going on?" Cassie questioned in a distant tone. "I think I have a crick in my neck or something."
Justin smiled. "No, really? You're vampires."
Now at this moment, the girls looked at each other and then something inside of them snapped.
"Are you saying that you bit our necks, you let us lie here in this nasty alley, and then let us become vampires?" uttered Diana slowly, still in a bit of a daze.
Alfonse started tire-pump laughing. At that, Diana stood up and socked him in the jaw. Cassie picked up on this with Justin, and before the boys knew it, they were lying on the ground, half-conscious.
"You stay here. We'll be back." Cassie snarled at them. The guys nodded simultaneously, knowing the girls meant business.
The girls snuck back to Cassie's house and took the car keys, some rope, and some money. Then they walked out to Cassie's parents' car and Diana got in the drivers' seat.
3 minutes later, they pulled up on the block that the alley was on. Cassie gave Diana a disgusted look. "I'll drive next time, okay?"
"Sorry. I thought I was a good driver!"
"Oh, sure, you only almost crashed about 5 times!" Cassie glared at Diana and said, "Just get the hell out of the car. We have to tie them up." So the girls got out of the car and headed for the boys, holding the rope.
"Uh...what's that for?" Justin whimpered, worried and coming out of unconsciousness.
The sun was rising. Cassie smiled. "Hey Diana, I don't think we're nocturnal."
"You're right. We're not turning into big piles of ashes like they did in From Dusk Till Dawn. Hey! I have an idea!"
"What?"
"We could kidnap all of our friends, simultaneously turn them into vampires, and go on a rampage for blood."
"Very cool. Let's do it!" Cassie said.
"Yeah!"
And so the two bloodthirsty adolescents tied up the boys and threw them in the back of the truck.
"Where should we go first?" asked Diana.
"I say we go to Queens and get Maggie."
"I think we should go to Francine's house first."
"What for?"
"'Cause she's probably more willing to be a vampire."
"Oh yeah! Of course!" exclaimed Cassie.
Meanwhile, the boys were getting used to the back of the truck, which had a cap on it. "Hey," said Alfonse, "this isn't so bad. It's kind of like being in a coffin."
"Yeah, but normal creatures of the night aren't tied up in their coffins." They both kind of laughed at this, but it was cut short by one of Cassie's notorious glares.
"Shut up," said Cassie, "We're going to Francine's house."
"First I think," said Diana, "We should go get a fire arm of some sort."
"Cool," said Cassie, "let's get a revolver."
"But I want a rifle!" said Diana.
"But I want a revolver."
"But I want a rifle..."
"But I-I-I wa-ant a rev-olve-er," whined Cassie.
Diana sighed. "All right... Let's get both."
"O.K."
And so, the two girls drove off to Queens stopping to rob a gun store first. They bit the owner's neck, only killing him instead of turning him into a vampire. Next they robbed a liquor store of all their vodka. They placed the bottles in the back of the truck. A bit later they realized in horror that Alfonse had gotten himself untied, and managed to choke down one of the five cases of vodka. He was now finishing off the sixth bottle.
"Alfonse!" Diana yelled, "what the hell...?!?" Alfonse began to sing Where It's At, by Beck. It wasn't worth it to tie him up since he was plastered.
"Guys, do I have to stay with him?" Justin whined.
"Don't worry, you can sit in the back seat." Cassie laughed. They let him out of the trunk and he got in the back seat. After doing this, they dropped Alfonse on the side of the road, as he softly hummed Where It's At.
After a while they arrived at Francine's house. The two girls got out of the truck taking the keys with them. It was then 11:00am. The birds were chirping, but it was very grey out. "How are we supposed to get Francine?" said Cassie.
"I have no idea," said Diana, "But I assume her bedroom is on the second floor."
Cassie glared at Diana. "How in the world are we supposed to get up there?"
"Well," said Diana, "in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, when the vampire's going after Luke Perry, he could fly. So maybe we could fly up to her window."
Cassie's eyes lit up. "Let me try!" She spread out her arms and lo and behold, began to float.
"Cool!" said Diana, "My turn."
Diana did the same thing, and once her feet left the ground, began to shriek. "HOLY SHIT! This is so cool!"
The two of them floated up to Francine's room. Francine was facing away from the window. Then suddenly she turned around. In all of history, there has never been a recorded case of anybody's jaw dropping lower than Francine's, the moment she saw Diana and Cassie floating outside her window. "Oh my god," Francine stammered, "First of all, what are you doing here? And secondly, you're not supposed to be floating outside of my second story window...are you?"
Cassie and Diana looked at each other and laughed. "Hey, Francine," said Diana, "can we come in?"
Francine got a very confused, timid look on her face. "Um...sure. I guess so..." They floated in merrily, and then they bared their fangs.
Francine shrieked. "Oh my god! I...I...Oh my god! You guys have fangs. Are...are you really vampires?"
"Yup!" said Cassie.
All of a sudden, Francine glared at them. "Hey. If you guys are really vampires, then how come you are out in the middle of the day?"
The two girls looked at one another. "I don't know," said Cassie, "we just are."
Francine sighed. "All right. I believe you."
"Oh, and by the way," said Cassie, removing the revolver, "we're kidnapping you and all of our other friends."
"Are you going to turn me into a vampire too?"
"Eventually, yes."
"Cool," said Francine, "will you bite me now?"
"No," said the girls.
"Please?"
"No!"
"PLEASE???"
"NO!!"
"Why no-ot?" Francine whined.
"If you don't shut up now, I'm just going to suck all your blood out instead of turning you into a vampire." Cassie hissed, baring her teeth again.
"Cass, come on. She didn't mean anything," Diana added, turning to Francine. "Cassie gets a little touchy sometimes."
"Diana, for God's sake, we are bloodthirsty, brutal children of the night," Cassie snapped angrily, "What do you want me to do, have a sensitive soul? I don't even think I have one anymore!"
Meanwhile, Justin was back at the car, desperately searching for a squirrel or pigeon or something with blood. Cassie heard a squawking from outside.
She groaned. "Stay here. I think Justin's trying to maul a pigeon or something. You keep the revolver. If I'm not back in 15 minutes, just take Francine out to the car."
Cassie quickly jumped out the window and floated carefully down to the ground. She walked over to the car. Justin was sitting on the ground, pouting.
"What's wrong?"
"I want blood." He whined.
"Don't worry," she said, sitting down next to him, "Francine will be down in a few minutes."
Justin looked relieved. Cassie looked at Justin and smiled. "Funny..." Justin said.
"What?"
"I don't remember you looking so pretty," Justin murmured.
"What did you say?" Cassie looked at him sideways.
"You know..."
Anyway, after a while, back at Francine's room, Diana and Francine had started to strike up a conversation.
"It's been half an hour," said Francine, "when are you turning me into a vampire?...Just out of curiosity, I mean."
"I don't know," Diana sighed, "maybe we should go down to the truck soon."
"How are we going to get down?...Not like I want to be kidnapped by a group of vampires, that is."
"Let's just sneak out the front door."
A few minutes later, after ducking and dodging Francine's parents, Diana and Francine had gotten out of the front door unnoticed.
"Where's Cassie?" Francine asked.
"I guess she's in the car with Justin."
"Now are one of you going to make me a vampire?" Francine begged.
"That's it," Diana snapped, "you're going in the back."
"Huh?"
"Of the pickup truck, I mean," Diana said, "Sorry, but Justin is liable to drain all your blood. I don't think you want to sit next to him just yet. You'll see him later."
"Okay."
Diana walked over to the car and opened the trunk door. "Get in," she told Francine. Francine climbed into the trunk.
Then Diana opened the car door, only to find Cassie and Justin necking. "Can I join the party?" Diana said sarcastically.
Cassie and Justin leapt apart. "Um...uh...I had something caught in my eye," said Cassie.
"Sure," Diana went over to the passengers' side, "hey, Justin,"
"Yeah?"
"Did you get whatever it was out of her eye?" Diana snickered. Cassie and Justin exchanged sheepish smiles. "Cassie, why don't you go in the back seat and I'll drive. You have to finish your eye exam."
"Um...okay."
"Hey," said Diana, "I think I saw an old lady with a chicken coop a few blocks back."
Suddenly, Justin's eyes lit up. "First chickens, then eye exam! Diana, put the pedal to the metal! It's lunch time."
Cassie giggled. All of a sudden, a muffled voice arose from the back. "What's going on? And what are all these empty vodka bottles doing back here?"
Diana groaned. "Don't ask about the bottles."
And so, the band of young cretins pulled up at the chicken coop, and after many loud squawks and shrieks, Justin returned to the car. His fangs were dripping with blood. Cassie grinned.
"What?" Justin asked.
"Oh, nothing."
"...Maybe I'll go into optometry."
"You should practice first." Cassie said, giggling again.
"Exactly my point."
The car pulled away. 15 minutes later, Diana called, "Oh, Doctor, please stop your exam. We're at Maggie's house - " she was cut off by a crash. "Oops!"
Cassie sat up. "What was that?"
"The tree in front of her house..."
"From now on, either Justin or I drives."
"Francine, are you okay back there?" Diana called.
"Yeah," she answered.
"Justin, do you know how to turn into a bat?" Cassie asked.
"Yes," he said, "Do you want me to show you how?"
"Definitely. We're going up to Maggie's room."
"I'll bring my rifle," Diana cried. The three of them got out of the car.
"It's pretty simple," said Justin, "just picture yourself as a bat, flying around in the night. To turn back, all you have to do is picture yourself as a vampire."
Seconds later, they were hovering in Maggie's bedroom. Lo and behold, there were Maggie and Luke, making out. Suddenly Maggie looked up and screamed.
"SHIT, there are bats!" she cried.
"Hi, Maggie! Hi, Luke!" Diana said happily.
"Diana...don't tell me that's you," Luke groaned.
"Well, actually it is. And Cassie and Justin."
"Cassie? Tell me that's not you! What are you doing here?" said Maggie, whose eyes were an inch away from falling out of her head. All of a sudden, they turned back into their normal vampire state. Diana grinned, unaware she was showing her fangs.
"They're vampires! Look at their fangs!" Luke cried, on the verge of hysteria. He looked around the room and his eyes caught on something. Cassie followed his gaze to Maggie's gold cross necklace.
Luke made a lunge for it, but Cassie got there first. She grabbed him and sunk her fangs into his neck. He slumped to the ground.
"Luke!" Maggie cried, horrified, "Cassie, why did you do that?!"
Cassie lowered her head and closed her mouth, trying to hide her bloody fangs. "I'm sorry," she said miserably, "It was just on instinct."
Cassie, Justin, Maggie and Diana stared down at Luke's lifeless body. "It's not too late," Justin said, "Cassie, all you have to do is feed him a little of your blood, and then he'll become a vampire."
"Really?" Cassie cried, relieved, "I didn't know that!"
After about ten minutes of squeezing blood into Luke's mouth, he finally opened his eyes.
"What's going on?" Luke looked wide awake, but very confused.
Cassie grinned. "Go look in the mirror and find out."
Luke stood up and ran into the bathroom to get a look in the mirror. A yell came from him. Luke came running back in the bedroom. "Why don't I have a reflection? Am I a vampire now?"
Maggie stared at him. "You sure look like it. Hey, what about me?"
Diana turned on her with a smile. "I feel very hungry..."
"Don't get any ideas," said Cassie, "You and I can finish something first. That way you won't drain all her blood."
Minutes later, Justin floated down to the car, followed by Cassie, Luke, Maggie(now a vampire), and Diana. They opened the trunk to see Francine, hunched up and sulking.
"There you are," Francine grumbled, "I thought you had deserted me. Hi, Luke. Hi, Maggie...why are you staring at me like that?"
"It's your turn!" Maggie hissed, her eyes gleaming red.
"Uh-oh...."
"Don't you want to become immortal like us?"
"Not at the moment," Francine whimpered. She tried to get past Maggie, but Maggie was extraordinarily strong. Maggie grabbed Francine by the shoulders and bit Francine's neck.
Finally all 6 teenagers were vampires for all of eternity. They got in the car, Cassie was in the driver's seat and Justin on the passenger side. Francine and Diana were in the back seat, and Maggie and Luke were in the trunk.
"Next stop, Ren's house!" cried Cassie.
Whining came from the trunk. "Why does Ren have to come? I don't - "
"SHUT UP!" hollered Maggie.
"Okay...." Luke whimpered rather pathetically. The front of the car laughed the whole way to Ren's, but as they pulled up, the laughter died down. Screams were coming from the house.
"That sounds like Ren!" cried Cassie, horrified. She jumped out of the car, but Francine, pushing Cassie aside, rushed ahead. Francine ran to the house and opened the door the moment Ren fell to the floor.
"Oh my God..." Francine said softly. Her friends rushed up behind her.
"What happened?"
"Someone's standing over him!"
"SHAWN?!" Cassie and Maggie cried, shrilly, in unison.
It was Shawn. They all knew him from their camp, Ipsvak, but not well enough. He bared his teeth and moved towards the group.
"That won't work," Maggie laughed, "We're all vampires, too. You might as well tell us what's going on." Shawn groaned.
"Wait," Cassie cried, "Before you say anything, we have to get Ren into a surviving state. Ren needs something with blood in it. Uh, Shawn? You should have to do this. Hello in there! Are you one of the undead, or just plain dead?"
Shawn and Francine stood, transfixed on each other. Diana snickered. "Is this what vampires are like when they fall in love at first sight?"
Maggie stepped up to Shawn and smacked him hard. "Snap out of it!" She yelled at him and Francine.
Francine blinked and looked at Maggie. "Sorry..."
Shawn kneeled down by Ren. "Well - "
But Luke cut him off. "Hold it."
"What are you talking about?" Diana cried. "What do you want Ren to do, just lay here and die?"
"No," said Luke, "but we don't have to turn him into a vampire, either."
"What are you getting at?" Diana frowned.
A smile slowly started to spread on Cassie's face. "I think I know what he means. Remember in Dracula: Dead and Loving It, there was that guy who ate bugs? He was Dracula's slave!"
Francine laughed. "Ren can be our slave!"
The kids started cheering. "Yeah!"
"All right, Cassie!" Justin grinned.
"Hey, it was my idea first!" Luke whined.
"Complain later!" Cassie said, "we better get the transformation done quickly, before he dies."
Shawn caught sight of a spider crawling on the floor. Francine saw it, too, and smiled. She picked it up and put it in Ren's mouth, still open from screaming. Shawn closed it. He then gently touched the bite marks on Ren's neck, which closed up and only showed a scar. Moments later, Ren sat up.
"Why do I have a craving for insects?...And what are all you guys doing here? Shawn, why are they here? Justin, Cassie, Diana, Maggie, Francine, and... Luke. Oh. Great."
Justin snickered. "You're coming with us. Whether you like it," he bared his fangs, "Or not. You're our slave now. We can make you do what ever we want."
Ren bowed his head. "Yes, masters."
The group all laughed together. They walked out to the car. By now, it was getting dark out. It was a cool Sunday evening.
"You were great," said Justin to Cassie, softly. She smiled.
"I still say it was my idea," grumbled Luke.
Maggie smiled. "It was," she said softly, and took his hand.
Shawn looked at Francine. She looked back at him. "We made a great team," she murmured.
"Do you think we could stay that way?" Shawn looked deep into Francine's eyes and put his arm in hers.
Diana sighed, watching the 3 couples walk off to the car. Ren sidled up to her and grinned flirtatiously. He had a huge brown spider, not quite dead yet, stuck in between his two front teeth. Diana groaned in disgust and rushed to catch up with her friends. Ren lagged behind the group, trying in vain to catch a beetle, walking in the grass.
Finally, now, 8 teenagers - 7 vampires and 1 immortal slave - were in the pickup truck and driving away.
"Well, where do we go now?" Justin asked.
Cassie smiled. "I've got it!" she cried, "Let's go into Manhattan and get some squirrels and pigeons."
"Great," said Francine, "I'm starving."
