Curtain up, lights up.
SETTING: Just outside of a bar. It is evening. Streetlights are on.
A MAN stumbles out of the front door of the bar. He is obviously exceedingly drunk. He is trying to get his bearings. He eventually heads to his right.
A fire hydrant comes down and lands in front of him.
He reacts in shock and falls on his face. Ungracefully and not without slipping a few times in the process, he gets up. He turns slowly, unsure of himself. He stands facing us for a moment, his eyes cast down. He then walks the other way.
A few feet before he reaches the left wing, a lamppost comes down directly in front of him, about an inch from his foot.
The MAN immediately falls backward onto his behind. He stands up, this time more quickly, but again not without stumbling a lot. He regains his footing, turns to face the bar, goes towards it, thinks better of it, walks backwards toward us, trips, turns to face us. He looks extremely frustrated. Finally, he goes to sit down on the ground, slips a bit, and finally manages to sit, with his legs straight out.
He tries to figure out what the problem is. He faces us; his face expressing his muddled thought process. He points left, ponders a moment. He points right, ponders a moment. He points back at the bar, shakes his head in embarassment. He looks back at the bar.
As he is doing so, the lamppost raises back up.
He looks back to the left and sees that the lamppost is gone. He looks happily surprised.
As he is facing that way, the fire hydrant raises back up, too.
He ponders the missing lamppost for a moment, then looks out at us, concentrating hard. He then looks to the right, and sees that the fire hydrant is gone, too. He is overjoyous, and stands up quickly (almost falling in the process). He stands there, scratches his head, and then heads right.
A few feet before he reaches the wing, he turns back towards the stage and smiles happily. As he stands there, a policeman comes out from the wing behind him, silently. After a moment, the MAN turns back to the right wing, and finds himself facing the policeman. His face turns ashen. At this moment, the fire hydrant and the lamppost come back down. The MAN stares at the fire hydrant in horror. The policeman just continues to glare at the MAN, and does nothing to suggest there has been a change. He grabs the MAN by his shirt collar and leads him off to the left. As they walk off, the MAN stares at the lamppost and looks as is he is close to tears. The policeman pulls him off.
Lights down, curtain down.
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