I had given up on joy

Built myself a shelter...

With my tears

With my blood

With dreams that in the light of day

Withered and blew away...

I thought I was safe

Behind my walls dressed in heavy armor.

But when he looked my way

(More than once)

When he sat at my side

And comforted me

Made me laugh through my tears

Brushed the hair from my face

Everything changed.

My walls crumbled...

Not brick by brick

But rather with the suddenness and certainty of a demolition crew

And when I looked down

My armor had become

A silvery slick puddle that

I knew I would slip in

As I stepped toward him

I gave to him all he would take

...Which wasn't much...

My body

My company

A bit of food and drink

And stealthily I slipped

My heart into his leather pocket

While he slept at my side.

I think he must have found it there

A day or two later

Because he did try to return it to me...

"It has the wrong name on it..."

I put out my hands to receive it back

Hoping to re-establish it in my chest,

And as it fell from his hands

It became, to my dismay,

Nothing more than ash.

"I'm sorry"

He said.

"I never meant to hurt you"

He claimed.

"Can we still be friends?"

He queried.

I can't remember what I said.

If I answered at all,

Surely it was with lies to ease his mind.

I do not want him to hurt

As I do now.

I envision him in her bed...

I hope he's happy.

I hope she realizes what she has.

I hope he thinks of me,

His friend,

Fondly,