Dissected? Yes, dissected. It's a story (of those who always loved you...) that begins with me being extremely sick and not being able to attend my finals. Distraught with bordem (but strong enough not to watch All My Children), I looked over and saw my TAC tape sitting on the table, calling to me. Well... something like that. Anyway, I had seen it so many times that I began to nit-pick at it. Then I was inspired by the TAC drinking game and decided to make my own. But, alas, the list of nit-picks was getting really long, so it became just a nit-pick list. You can use it as a drinking game, but you'll have passed out by the time you get to "Master of the House." It's good for rainy days or sunny days or days gone by or...uh... yeah.
NOTE: This list is purely for means of entertainment when you are at home and bored with nothing but your TAC tape. I have nothing against Colm Wilkinson, Michael Maguire, Michael Ball, etc., and especially Philip Quast!
ANOTHER NOTE: Reading this list is very boring and confusing if you're not watching the tape at the same time. I would suggest printing it out if you don't have a computer and a TV in the same room.
--Is that prison guard in the beginning who threatens to hit the prisoner with his gun supposed to be a young Javert? I sincerely hope not.
--"When I get free..."<-The UK JVJ. (See International Suprise.)
--"How long, O Lord..."<-The Irish JVJ. (See International Suprise.)
--"Thit means you get your yellow ticket of leave..." I love PQ, but he should've decided, "that" or "it."
--I know it was hard for them to do costume changes, but Valjean's incredibly expensive suit can be seen very easily underneath those rags...
--Why does the Bishop look younger than JVJ?
--"Took my FLIIIIGHT!!"* That scared me so bad, I almost knocked over my pop.
--While the officers tell the bishop of the crime, PQ is looking at both of them like "I could've done that better..."
--Bishop held the word "God" for about 3 minutes and not one person in the audience applauded.
--*
--The conductor sings along.
--The captions in the theatre are sometimes different from those on the screen. Sometimes there are captions shown on the screen in the theatre, but nothing appears.
--What is with Fantine's hair? Are those cornrows?
--Fantine seems to croak spontaneously toward the end of the song.
--"Tell me quickly...", the conductor sings along with PQ :)
--*(24601-nuh!)
--
"My Cosette..." Small Cosette takes a big swig.
--+
--*(run-uh!)
--"Crying at all is not allowed..." Either something falls backstage, the drunks at the inn are extra roudy, or Javert commits suicide early with a cap gun.
--For the first few lines, the Bishop is standing over Thenardier's shoulder, but in the next headshot from that angle, he's gone. Wasn't he already supposed to be dead?
--Grantaire grins like an idiot through the whole song.
--Everyone seems to be enjoying the song except Michael Maguire. You can see him when Thenardier says "nothing's overlooked..." and moves his shoulder; Michael Maguire is staring at his shoes.
-- Mme. T when Msr. T says "Jesus, it's amazing...", then JVJ as she's putting hers down (right around "everyone's
boon companion"), then Javert.
--Is that a Christmas decoration in Mme. T's hair?
--Valjean is smiling before the song starts and Cosette smiles the rest of the time.
--Right after Thenardier says "beyond rubies is our little girl", Mme. Thenardier looks like she's going to retch.
--This isn't really a nit-pick, but doesn't the woman who yells at the prostitute look like Jane Curtain?
--Criticize PQ? You must think me mad! Although there are some points when you can really tell that those are fake sideburns.
--The guy who says "students, workers, everyone..." creeps me out. Don't ask why. I don't know.
--When Michael Maguire says "beware", the spotlight goes off of him and then goes back. Apparently Grantaire paid a visit to the people in the technician booth.
--When Michael Maguire says "...we never can match", Fantine and Valjean have an important conversation.
--Right after Grantaire says "Has Marius seen love at last?", PQ wipes his face with his hand then it looks like he's checking to make sure his sideburns are in place.
--From this point on in the musical (at least until
"Empty Chairs at Empty Tables"), Maruis will usually
have a big stupid grin on his face.
--Right when Michael Maguire says "...the hour of fate!", it looks like he's talking to the exit sign (which is visible in every single song).
--"They will come when we CaaaaLL!" Has Michael Maguire hit puberty?
-- When Cosette says "So many things unclear...", look at little Cosette (sitting next to Mme. Thenardier). She picks her nose, looks at her finger and may or may not eat it (I looked away). This is just
!!!
--Michael Ball says "Cosette, I don't know what to say...", PQ and JVJ have a conversation, JVJ nods.
--Before the song starts (when Michael Ball is fixing his suit) JVJ and PQ both have these "aawww... young love..." looks on their faces.
--The conductor sings along with Thenardier when he says "This is his lair."
-- Right after that happens, all at once, JVJ, big Cosette, and PQ put down their water bottles and Fantine and Marius both pick theirs up.
-- "It's your brat Eponine...", Michael Maguire takes a big swig.
--When Brujon says "She's going soft." and the others join in, Eponine shifts her feet and gets this look on her face like "You wanna piece 'a me?"
--After Eponine screams and Thenardier rushes over to her, it looks like he's trying really hard to remember the lines.
--Right when it's PQ's turn to start singing, at first, it looks like JVJ forgot to move over.
