“What’s up, Ike?” His eyes went to Taylor first, who exchanged a look with him. They had been talking. I could feel it. “Nothing.” He let a weak laugh escape his lips. I think I almost saw a smile. “The wallpaper’s yellow this time. It looks more like Zoe’s room than ours.” I nodded, not really caring about wallpaper anymore. The mention of Zoe’s room made me homesick. I hadn’t been able to spend much time with my youngest sister. She had been in my life for over three years, and I had been with her for maybe four whole months. Those four months had been spent at our home. I sighed.
“Zac, you know, it’s okay to talk to us. Me, or Taylor. We’re here for you. We won’t squeal on you. I promise.” My eyes met his. He smiled weakly, in an effort to encourage me further. That put me in a crap mood. Everybody thought I was crazy, just because I had been quiet. I regretted ever earning that hyper, happy label those years ago. I was still supposed to be eleven. I wasn’t supposed to grow up; even though I had actually been grown up then.
“Thanks.” I said, not bothering to hide how upset that made me. “But I don’t need to talk to anybody.” They looked at each other again. I inhaled loudly and walked over to the window. I heard the screams and saw the cameras flashing the minute I pulled back the curtain. God, couldn’t we ever be alone?
“Zac, something is wrong, whether you’ll admit it or not. Stop thinking of yourself as some unbreakable rock, and think of yourself as a person. You don’t have to be a celebrity around us. We’re your brothers.” I shook my head and walked back to my chair, scowling. “I’m fine, Ike.” I murmured. I know he heard me. Taylor jumped to his feet, frustrated. “Look, Zac, would you stop hiding from us? We know Abby did something. She changed you…somehow. I don’t know how, but she did.” I turned to him, hurt by what he had just said. Nobody was going to blame my best friend for what she couldn’t help. Nobody understood how she helped me, never hurt me. I hated everyone coming down on her.
“She didn’t do anything. All that she did was give me a friend again.” My voice was cold. Isaac stared up at Taylor, disappointed in my reaction. He had expected it, but you could see his disappointment. I opened the door. “Zac—“ “Leave me alone, okay?” I walked into the hallway, closing the door softly behind me. I wasn’t the kind of person who slammed doors when they got angry; I just wasn’t. I kind of liked to disappear—that was what my job required, I guess. I was used to hiding emotion. I had become so used to doing it, I hid from my own family. I shrugged my thoughts off and wandered onto the stage.
I sat down on my stool, spinning slowly around once or twice. My hands grasped the thick wooden drumsticks, and I began to spin them between my fingers. It was all just to fool around, maybe to ease myself out of the frustration I was feeling. It helped, just to be stupid and not give a damn about anything sometimes.
“Zac! Zac! Where are you?” After banging the sticks together once, I set them on the floor and began to walk to the edge of the stage. The floorboards moaned as I carried my weight across them. I caught a glimpse of Jessica, my twelve-year-old sister, walking up in the balcony.
“Down here,” I said quietly, but loudly enough so she could hear me. She leaned over the railing, glaring at me. “There you are. God, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. You’ve got mail.” She threw a large manila envelope down at me, trying to hit me. She had always had such a great arm, that kid.
“Probably a birthday card from a relative or something, I guess. It was sent to our house. There’s no return address. Kind of weird, if you ask me.” Jessica announced. I took another good look at her. Her hair, once naturally blond, had been dyed black this week. She was going through a phase, and she couldn’t decide on a hair color. It had been bright red the last time I had seen her.
“Did Mom see your new color yet?” She took a piece of hair and twisted it fondly around her finger, admiring it. “Not yet. I thought I’d test it out on you first.” I smiled, nodding. “It’s cool. Makes you look older.” Jess shrugged. “Thanks.” She then disappeared, probably off on another adventure. She had to explore every single arena we went…and I figured she sometimes went outside to talk to the fans.
Again, I was alone, with nothing but my own thoughts.
