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This is the Handfasting Ceremony that myself, my partner, and our officiant wrote. Reverend Marie April Gismondi of The Church of Ancient Ways presided over our ceremony, as well as supplied a ton of Handfasting information which me and my partner mixed and separated with her help to make our perfect Ritual. Sacred Space is created before the ritual begins Celebrant lights incense and candles Music begins Groom steps up into traditional place with his Best Man The Parents of the Groom are seated. The Mother of the Bride is seated by Groomsman . Jr. Bridesmaid and Groomsman enter Bridesmaid and Groomsman enter Bridesmaid and Groomsman enter Maid of Honor enters The Flower Girls enter Bride enters on her father's arm, inspiring awe in all Groom steps forward to meet her and together they step up to the altar With all in place, we begin! Reverend:A wedding is more than a celebration of the Love which lives in our Bride and Groom’s hearts today. It reaches into the future and proclaims their intentions for that which tomorrow shall hold. A couple who wed are joined not only by the mutual affection and love they share, but also by their hopes, dreams and by their promises of what will be... The promises and vows they make this day shall guide them into their common future. I will ask you now if you are prepared to make these promises. Bride, I have not the right to bind you to this man, for you are a free woman, and only you have this right. So I must ask you now; Have you come here today of your own free will to take Groom to be your husband, that you may live together as equal partners sharing all that life has to offer? Bride: I have. Reverend: Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him all the days of your journey? Bride: I will. Reverend:Groom, I have not the right to bind you to this woman, for you are a free man, and only you have this right. So I must ask you now; Have you come here today of your own free will to take Bride to be your wife, that you may live together as equal partners sharing all that life has to offer? Groom: I have. Reverend: Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her all the days of your journey? Groom: I will. Reverend: Living by these promises that you make today, may your future be blessed even beyond that which all of those who are gathered here, who love you both so dearly, would dare to wish for you. Above you are the stars, below you are the stones. As time passes, remember... Like a star should your love be constant, Like the earth should your love be firm. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience with each other, For storms will come, and they will go quickly, Forced to dissipate in the light of your love. Be free in giving of affection and of warmth. Have no fear, and let not the ways Or words of the unenlightened give you unease. For your Love is with you, Now and always! As we enter the season of the harvest, I can’t think of a more appropriate time that Bride and Groom could have chosen for their wedding day. For much in the same way that the harvest is the time in which the Earth’s bounty is collected and celebrated and shared with loved ones, so do Bride and Groom allow us to partake in the joy in their hearts. It is also the time in which we remember to take back for ourselves, it is the perfect time in which to acknowledge that of all the wondrous blessings poured forth upon the earth, our Bride and Groom have chosen to take unto them selves each other above all else. Although the roads they traveled to get to this day are not ones that they would have chosen for themselves, there are no regrets. Bride and Groom are at a wonderful place in their lives, a place where there is no fear for the stability of their relationship. They no longer seek approval and external validation for they know that home is where the heart is and their hearts rest in kind and loving hands. there was no nice way to say that you were the only ones that you each could rely on so that was as close as I could get. They have been through difficulties and many of the trials that life brings. They have supported and encouraged one another through seven and a half years of friendship and committed relationship. For a marriage to thrive it is not only finding the right partner, it is also about becoming the right partner. Becoming is not something that happens without growing pains, nor does it happen over night. But then again is there anything worthwhile in life that will not cause us to shed a tear on occasion? Relationships take work. As with all living things, “alive” means there will be growth. Through the sharing of both the good and the difficult, Bride and Groom have chosen to grow together. They are already a “we” in every sense of the term. They share an unconditional love that is full of laughter and light and a unique sense of humor! Thomas Merton once said: ‘The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we see in them.’ This is what Bride and Groom have found in each other, and are thankful beyond words to receive from all of you. Marriage is a joining of souls that when embarked upon whole heartedly is the union of all that is divine within two people, the marriage of the God and Goddess within. As the Yin and the Yang share the circle of life, each with a drop of the other residing deep within, so shall you become this day. There is a concept in the Eastern Church of divine union with God during communion. When the host is taken there is for a brief and sublime moment in which there is no separation from the whole. There is an Indian greeting that takes this a step farther and includes another. The word is ‘Namaste’. Among it’s many meanings is “All that is divine within me recognizes and honors all that is divine within you.” It reminded me very much of this sacred union of human souls, both to each other and to the divine, that is marriage. The Druids had a name that they called the sacred place created during a ceremony of union. It was called a "Nemeton". It was the sacred space in which the essence of two people could overlap and become one. It was the place where souls touch. Marriage is the name we give to this sacred place, the same space the ancient ones spoke of so long ago, The same place people the world over have known and revered and aspired to throughout time, the sacred space in which two become one. It is a state of being carried in the hearts of those who truly Love. May you find and keep close to your heart this place. May it comfort and hold you all the days of your journey. Today you will make your pledges unto each other, and seemingly your relationship will be as it has always been, yet there is a power in the spoken word. May that power bring you all the warmth & closeness, security & comfort, joy & happiness that this world has to offer. Best Man and Maid of Honor, will you now hold out the rings entrusted to you by Bride and Groom? Your hands beneath serve as a symbol of how Bride and Groom and their marriage are supported upon this earth by the love of their friends and family well as blessed by the Gods from above. Best Man and Maid of Honor hold out the wedding bands in the palm of their hands as Reverend continues: Lord and Lady, guardians of all that is seen and unseen, Bless these rings and this couple who shall wear them. Keep them safe through adversity forever supported by your eternal blessings. Beautiful thoughts and concepts, yet to accurately reflect life and the unique spirit that shall be your marriage this ceremony needs to have an honesty about what your future shall hold. You will note the omission of the word ‘obey’ from today’s ceremony. There is a phrase that we hear bantered around alot at celebrations such as this. “Unconditional Love”. To speak of this within the context of a marriage, within the context of a loving, caring committed relationship, the idea of “unconditional” means expecting and accepting imperfection, and human frailty. What “Unconditional Love” really says is: I expect and I accept that on occasion you will anger me as I will anger you, and that you will hurt me as I will hurt you, but I know in my heart that between us there is love and affection and friendship that is stronger. And I trust that no pain is ever caused out of ill will, or malice, or pettiness just as I trust that we are together for a reason and that we shall never throw each other away. I trust that at our best we will live together in love and joy and harmony, and at our worst we will fight with, and for each other, for the greater good, without fear of abandonment. What is to obeyed in this case is the divinely inspired desire to be together for a lifetime. It is something worth fighting for. Within a marriage each person is both their own and each others. Their personal integrity does not diminish by their union. In fact it is enhanced and supported by this new creation that is their marriage. You will see this beautifully exemplified in the sharing and combining of wines that Bride and Groom have incorporated into their ring vows. Groom, will you now place this ring upon your beloved’s finger and give voice to that which is in your heart? Groom: You cannot posses me for I belong to myself. But while we both wish for it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me for I am a free person. But I shall serve you in those ways you require and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand. I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night, and the eyes into which I will smile in the morning. I pledge to you the first bite from my meat and the first drink from my cup. I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care. I shall be your shield for your back, and you for mine. I shall not slander you, nor you me. I shall honour you above all other, and when we quarrel, we shall do so in private and tell no strangers our grivances. This is my wedding vow to you. This is the marriage of equals. Groomplaces the ring on Bride's finger, picks up his glass, toasts and drinks to her then pours one third of his wine into the center chalice and places his glass back on the altar. Reverend: Bride, will you now place this ring upon your beloved’s finger and give voice to that which is in your heart? Bride: You cannot posses me for I belong to myself. But while we both wish for it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me for I am a free person. But I shall serve you in those ways you require and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand. I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night, and the eyes into which I will smile in the morning. I pledge to you the first bite from my meat and the first drink from my cup. I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care. I shall be your shield for your back, and you for mine. I shall not slander you, nor you me. I shall honour you above all other, and when we quarrel, we shall do so in private and tell no strangers our grivances. This is my wedding vow to you. This is the marriage of equals.Bride places the ring on Groom's finger, picks up her glass, toasts and drinks to him then pours one third of her wine into the center chalice and places her glass back on the altar Bride and Groom then together pick up the center chalice, each with both hands on the chalice they then together drink from it then return it to the altar. Reverend: As the wines in the glass have intermingled their essence so do your spirits join as you drink of each others love. Neither of you shall ever again thirst for total Love, understanding, or companionship, for as food and drink nourish the body so does Love nourish the soul. In this manner so shall each of you be as sustenance to the other. Will you now hold hands and look into each others eyes? Blessed be these eyes filled with love that gaze into your own this day. As time passes and the face of your beloved changes with the years, see the love that shall remain ever constant. Blessed be these hearts as they reach for one another, feel the beat that from this day forth shall forever beat as one with your own. Blessed be these hands dearly, lovingly and tenderly holding one another this day, these hands that shall grow to be healer, protector, shelter, and guide as they journey through this life together. Lord and Lady, with your blessing... We give thanks and rejoice in that which has been created in this man and woman. And ....as the years pass, may Bride and Groom ever hold a vision of the love they share this day reflected in each others eyes, beating hearts and wondrous touch. Reverend begins to bind hands with purple, gold, and silver cord. Remember now, as thy hands are fasted, ‘tis not the strength of this cord and knot work that binds you together; they are merely symbols for your love. All things of the material world eventually return to the Earth, unlike the bond and the love your souls share, which is destined to ascend to the heavens. You are now as your hearts have always known: Husband and Wife. You may kiss the Bride! |
