Title: Click OK to Re-Start
Author/pseudonym: Silk
Email address: silkn1@worldnet.att.net
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Jim/Blair
Date: 03/06/01
Series/Sequel: Technical Problems; this file is a sequel to Program
May Be Busy.
Category: Series: Technical Problems, Romance
Author's website: https://www.angelfire.com/ny4/tinsel/
Disclaimer: All things Sentinel belong to PetFly and Paramount. Not me. No
money changed hands.
Notes: This is the end of the series. Thanks to everyone who encouraged and
supported me throughout these stories.
Summary: Jim and Blair come to terms with their new relationship.
Warnings: m/m
*****
Click OK to Re-Start
By Silk
I've never really liked
the idea of being in love. It leads to other things. Scary things. Like
commitment. Like making love with the same person for the rest of your life.
Like making a home.
But all I needed to do
was slow down and stop long enough to realize that it had already happened. A
long, long time ago. From the moment we met, I knew that Jim was someone
special. Oh, yeah, the Sentinel thing, Holy Grail time, that made him special.
But that's not what I meant.
The moment he slammed me
up against the wall of my office...the moment he looked deep into my eyes, his
mouth barking epithets while his breath caressed my face...I knew he was The
One. How I managed to hide that from myself for almost four years is a very
good question. But that's another story.
Jim gave me something I
never had. A place to call home. He didn't have to take me in when I became
homeless. I'd been fending for myself for years. I might not have been living
in the lap of luxury, but I had a roof, clothing and, at least occasionally,
food on the table.
But it wasn't until I
got to know Jim that I realized just what a sacrifice he made. This was a man
who craved privacy. Who valued peace and quiet. Who didn't share or compromise
because he was used to being in control at all times.
Enter Blair Sandburg.
The ultimate Nosy Parker. The kid who never heard of a firewall he couldn't
breach or a bedroom door he couldn't open. The guy who believed in talking it
all out, even when he wasn't sure what his point was. I was used to sharing and
I never cared who was in control. Until I butted heads with the man I loved.
Maybe we argued because
we couldn't communicate any other way. At first. But later, when we were living
in each other's pockets, I think it became a form of foreplay. I could just
hear Jim groaning if he heard me say that. You'd analyze a snowflake down to
its last atomic particle, Sandburg, he'd say.
He might be right. But
it was a defense mechanism that served me well. Kept people at a safe emotional
distance. Except Jim.
I didn't have any way to
keep Jim out of my head. Cause he was already in my heart and soul. And now,
he's in my body as well. It seems only fitting.
***
We ran out of hot water
long before we cooled down. Jim picked up my shivers and insisted that we get
out of the shower. Bundling me into a huge white towel, he wound another towel
around my freshly-conditioned hair.
"Jim, if I don't
dry it now, I'll look like a French poodle when I wake up tomorrow
morning."
He nuzzled my cheek,
whispering, "That's okay, Schatzi," in my ear. I could have taken
umbrage at Jim's apparent fondness for dogs, but I happened to know what
Schatzi meant. It was a German endearment. Darling, sweetie, something like
that. Oh, yeah, something exactly like that.
"Mmm, Jimmm...I
*really* need to dry my hair."
"I'll do it."
***
I could have gone to
sleep. Jim's fingers worked their way through my damp hair as I lay spread-eagle
on my stomach. On Jim's bed. *Our* bed now. When he was certain that the
conditioner was thoroughly absorbed, he used the blow-dryer to dry my hair.
I forgot about Jim. I
forgot about sex. I hovered in a netherworld between being awake and being
asleep.
I watched the wolf pad
softly into the bedroom. I wanted to shout at Jim to look, but the sight of the
wolf seemed to steal my breath away. *What do you want?* I queried mentally.
*You seem happy.*
*I am.*
The wolf nodded. *Not
everyone is given another chance to make things right.*
*I know.*
*Good.*
The wolf turned and
looked over his shoulder, his blue eyes glowing in the dimly lit room. *The
jaguar is worthy of you.*
*Is he?* I smiled. I
don't know that I needed approval or a vote of confidence from the spirit
world, but it couldn't hurt.
*Make certain you are
worthy of him.*
The jaguar appeared at
the top of the stairs and seemed to signal the wolf. *Don't forget.*
I frowned. *Don't forget
what?*
The jaguar seemed to sigh,
trading an expressive look with his companion. *Use the coconut-scented massage
oil. You'll be glad you did.*
*What?* I shouted. They disappeared.
I almost leaped off the
bed to follow them. But Jim's arms held me fast. "Chief, I didn't mean to
startle you. I think you fell asleep."
"Well, that was one
hell of a dream, Jim."
"Really? Tell me
about it."
I saw the gleam in his
pale blue eyes and I wondered if he knew what I'd seen and heard. Jim didn't
give much away if he could help it. Close-mouthed son-of-a-bitch. God, I loved
him.
When Jim's grip relaxed,
I rolled over onto my back. I reached up to touch the corner of his mouth with
my index finger before I kissed him. "I love you, Jim."
"I love you, too,
Blair."
He kissed me back, his
lips lingering on mine, as if savoring something sweet.
"Jim? Do you trust
me?"
"Completely."
"Could I make love
to you now?"
He smiled.
We traded places. Now
Jim lay on his stomach, facing away from me. I warmed the massage oil in my
hands before applying it to his lower back. Again and again, I kneaded the skin
until it was supple under my fingers.
I moved down to his
buttocks. As his body heated up, the scent of coconuts filled the air. I grinned
to myself. I hoped that the jaguar approved. Somehow I thought he did.
My hands spread his
buttocks, revealing the shadowy cleft I sought. My well-oiled fingers probed
and prodded until they found the opening I wanted. When I inserted one finger, I
felt Jim tense, but soon he was restlessly jiggling back and forth as if it
weren't enough.
It wasn't. I inserted a
second finger, and eventually, a third, making no effort to speed up the
process of making him ready for me. I could feel nervous jitters set themselves
up in my stomach. I didn't know exactly what to do. Just what I'd read. It
seemed to be working so far. But what about penetration?
I didn't want to hurt
Jim.
Suddenly that didn't
seem to be a problem. Jim was moaning and groaning in a way that made it
crystal clear that he liked what I was doing. His firm ass swayed rhythmically,
trying to synch itself with the movement of my fingers. Then he said it. "I'm ready, Blair. Please...."
After applying a
generous amount of oil to my cock, I placed the tip at the entrance to Jim's
opening and pushed slowly. He was so incredibly tight. The warm, taut recesses
throbbed in perfect time with my erection.
I could have stayed
there forever, soaking up the feel of him. I might have, too. If it weren't for
Jim's whispered "Fuck me...."
With a hoarse
inhalation, I began to stroke. I don't even think I was breathing for the first
few thrusts. I heard this keening noise in the background, and then, all at
once, I knew it was me.
I hit his prostate, purely
by accident, but Jim's sudden growl of pleasure encouraged me to find it again.
Sweat dripped from my neck onto Jim's back. I was *in* him. I *was* him. We
were *each other*.
I stopped thinking at
all as pure feeling took over. I came with a cry of exultation and poured
myself inside Jim. He came moments later, his wet heat spilling through my
fingers as they tried to hold onto his pulsating length.
I collapsed atop Jim, a
boneless heap of sizzling flesh. Jim groaned again, and I tried to move.
"Am I hurting you, Jim?"
Jim looked over his
shoulder, seemingly loath to dislodge me from inside him. "Chief, if you
hurt me anymore, I'd be dead."
"You're a funny
man, Ellison."
"Yeah, but I love
you."
Jim had the dumbest grin
on his face. Like someone had told him a secret that he couldn't tell anyone.
Except me.
"Yeah, you
do," I agreed. My lips twitched. Must be contagious, that grin.
"Come 'ere,"
he entreated, crooking his finger.
"Can't reach,"
I said, shaking my head.
Jim reluctantly moved
away and handed me a towel. When we were both cleaned up, he rolled onto his
back and beckoned again. Pointing to his abdomen, he said, "Your head.
Here."
"Ooh, you're quite
the caveman now. Is this where you knock me in the head with a rock and drag me
around by the hair?" I asked with a chuckle.
To my surprise, Jim's
eyes watered and he shook his head. "I know what it feels like to hurt
you, Blair. But I never meant to. I swear."
I couldn't stand for Jim
to be in pain. Guess that's why I keep sticking my neck out for him, huh?
I wrapped my arms around
him. Oh, he resisted at first, but I think that's just because he's such a big,
solid guy, no one would ever imagine that he might like to be held. He lay his
head on my shoulder and sighed.
I kissed his
close-cropped hair. It felt like brushed velvet beneath my lips. "Jim,
Jim, you don't need anyone's forgiveness, but least of all mine. I love you.
That's unconditional."
He murmured a protest of
sorts, but I shushed him, stroking his hair even as I rubbed my cheek against
his. "We've both made mistakes. As far as I'm concerned, we're even."
"Then we can start
over again?"
I smiled. I was holding
a naked Sentinel in my arms. But he was so much more than that.
He was my life.
End