Gemini Rising

By Silk

Part 1

Blair inserted his key into the loft door, but before he could finish turning it, a larger hand reached around him, slipping the key out of the lock and pocketing it. "Hey!" he automatically protested before he had a chance to think about the wisdom of arguing with a would-be thief.

"Hey yourself, Chief."

"Jim!" When he had a moment to recover, Blair frowned. "What are you doing, man?"

"You've been working so hard lately," Jim began, curling his lower lip as if he had a bad taste in his mouth.

"Yeah, well, that's what happens to us grad students, Jim. We work our tails off doing the scutwork and then, if we're really lucky, they pay us a pittance to fool us into thinking that they actually value what we're doing."

Blair pulled his backpack off his back and started fussing with the outside flap. Jim placed his hand very carefully over Blair's, stilling the restless movement. "What? What is it, man? I am like so not in the mood for having my schedule fucked up even further."

Blair stared pointedly at Jim's hand, his blue eyes blazing with an inner heat that could have meant almost anything. "I thought-I might-take us out to dinner, Chief. That's all," Jim replied apologetically, removing his hand.

"Dinner? Ha! What's that? I have final exams to grade, Jim. That means staying up all night, if necessary, reading what my students have to say."

Jim attempted a smile. "Shouldn't take you that long, Chief. They can't have all that much to say."

The smile froze on Jim's lips as Blair cut him off angrily. "That's right, Jim! Denigrate my work! Never mind that I'm there for you, day in and day out! In addition to doing what I do. Oh, yeah, but that's practically a sideline, isn't it?"

Jim held up his hands to forestall any more angry commentary. Blair was dying to get into a fight of major proportions, but Jim had no idea what was really bothering him. "Peace, Chief. I never meant to put down what you do."

"It's my life's work, Jim. You can say it. Life's work. It's not a fucking hobby. But you obviously don't consider it as important as what you do. Otherwise, you wouldn't expect me to be at your beck 'n' call every frigging minute. Day and night."

Jim didn't show the hurt that was welling up inside. Ouch, Chief. That last one left a mark. A flesh wound. "I-uh, I thought that was the way you wanted it, Chief," he said softly.

"To be at your side every fucking moment? Christ, Jim, what a fucking egotist you turned out to be! You want things both ways. You want me to be there when you need me. But you want me to fucking disappear when you don't. How many people can...can fucking live...like that, man?"

"I guess you can't, Chief," Jim said, biting his lip. Maybe, just maybe, if he drew blood, he could dial down the pain that this conversation was causing.

"I'll just...stay out of your way," Jim added, shouldering past the younger man to open the door. It didn't slam behind him. It remained ajar. Enough so that Blair could see Jim tearing off his jacket to take the stairs to his bedroom two and three at a time. Blair stood there, staring after Jim, his backpack hanging forgotten from one hand.

"You do that, Jim. You do that," Blair muttered to himself, passing a shaky hand over his face.

Blair sighed as he realized that Jim had taken his keys. He searched through the bowl by the door, but they weren't there. Jim must have put them in his jacket. His jacket? Blair frowned. It was on the floor of the living room. God, he must have been more upset than he thought.

Blair dropped his backpack with a soft thump and continued to the kitchen. He wasn't all that hungry. Another long sigh. He didn't really have time to eat anyway. All those papers to grade. He wasn't kidding when he said that he might have to work all night.

He closed his eyes, vaguely wondering why he felt bruised. It hadn't been a physical altercation.

But it felt like one.

***

Jim lay on his back in bed, fully clothed, staring at the ceiling. He wasn't zoned. Yet. But his thoughts were growing more and more obsessive, and they all centered on one person. Blair.

Why are you doing this, Chief? It's like you're consciously making an effort to push me away. Any other time, I'd be down there, pushing right back, trying to find out what's wrong. But now? It's like...on some level, I already know, but I don't know if I'm ready to deal with that right now.

He listened to Blair moving around, not so quietly, not so considerately, and he wondered what he'd done to bring this on.

***

"Jim? I'm going to make some soup. Do you want some?" Blair called upstairs. He knew Jim was awake. He could feel him...hiding...up there.

Jim rolled onto his stomach, pulling one of his pillows into his arms as though it were a person. Tears filled his ice-blue eyes. Pillows made a poor substitute for someone to hold.

"Jim?"

Blair's voice sounded louder. Closer. He was at the top of the stairs. Jim buried his face in the pillow, unable to trust his voice to answer.

"You okay, man?"

Not for the first time, Jim wished that his bedroom were not so open. Granted, it was not unlike living in an aerie. But a door and a couple of solid walls would make him feel less vulnerable right now. "Go away, Sandburg," Jim groaned.

Blair shifted uneasily from foot to foot. "Look, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Jim. It's just-"

"You assume too fucking much, Sandburg. What makes you think I give a rat's ass what you say? You think I'm up here pining away cause you were mean to me? Aww...get the fuck out."

Blair winced as if he'd been struck. "I guess I deserve that, Jim. I'm sorry."

"Go be fucking sorry somewhere else, okay? I've got a fucking headache!"

"I...I...uh, okay." Blair turned and shook his head at himself, taking the stairs a bit more briskly than usual.

***

Jim could hear Blair's heartbeat speed up, but he told himself that it was because he was taking the stairs at such a clip. Not because of what he said.

Righhhht.

Thinking of the old saying that 'you can keep your mouth shut and people might think you're an idiot or you can open it and remove all doubt', Jim reluctantly swung his legs over the side of the bed. Making his way downstairs on a less than steady gait epitomized his general lack of common sense. He didn't need to hear sirens blaring to know that he wasn't thinking clearly anymore. But he couldn't stay upstairs forever.

For one thing, the bathroom was downstairs.

Creeping around the corner, he saw Blair sitting on the couch, his laptop in front of him. But he wasn't typing. He wasn't even moving. Unless you counted the way his shoulders were shaking.

"Chief?" Christ, he was crying. Silently. And Jim had his senses down so low, he didn't hear him until he was nearly on top of him.

Blair turned his head fractionally, his blue eyes widening at the sight of Jim. "Um...I-"

Jim moved closer until he stood right in front of Blair. Slowly but inexorably, he knelt down on the floor. Wrapping his hands around Blair's knees, he looked up at the younger man. "What's wrong? You know you can tell me anything, Chief. Anything."

Blair sighed. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. Too much, if you asked Jim.

"I was...I was...." Blair rubbed his eyes with his clenched fists, struggling for a way to say what he had to say.

Was what? The possibilities were endless. And he was seriously scaring the shit out of Jim.

"...offered a job."

Huh? That was what all this sturm und drang was about? A job? A freaking job?

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh, Jim." Blair sounded bitterly disappointed. "My career, which you might have taken the time to notice, is not exactly going anywhere, is suddenly taking a turn for the better. Someone wants me, Jim. How do you like that?"

Jim dropped his gaze to the floor near Blair's feet. "You don't sound too happy, Chief."

"Now that is the fucking understatement of the year, Jim. Now why do you suppose that is?" he demanded.

"I don't know, Chief. Most people are...happy...when they get a new opportunity."

"Yes, Jim. I know. And this is a fucking wonderful opportunity, too. God knows why they thought of Blair Sandburg, but hey...maybe there's a serious problem in personnel."

"Chief." Jim forced his eyes upward, stunned to see the raw emotion burning in those eyes of Sandburg's. "You know you're good at what you do. Damn, you just took me to task for taking your work for granted. So you must know you deserve this."

"How do you know if I deserve it or not, Jim? Did you ask me about the details? Do you even care?"

"What do you want me to say here, Chief? That I don't want you to take it? That would be crazy. Why would I do that?"

Blair's mouth set into a thin line. "Yeah, Jim. Why would you want to stop me?"

Part 2