Title: The Goodbye Look

Author/pseudonym: Silk

Email address: silkn1@worldnet.att.net

Rating: R

Fandom: The Sentinel

Pairing: Jim/Blair

Status: Complete

Date: 10/00

Series/Sequel: No

Disclaimer: Pet Fly and Paramount own 'em, but I promise to play nicely with the boys. No money being made.

Notes: Yes, song lyrics are involved, but only posted at the very beginning before the actual story. No one sings. {g} Oh, and the R rating is for occasional bad words. No sex. {g}

Summary: Blair's leaving. Jim doesn't want him to go. But will he ever figure out why?

*****

The Goodbye Look

By Silk

"I know what happens..."

"I read the book..."

"I believe I just got the goodbye look..."

--The Goodbye Look, Donald Fagen

No one told him to go. Certainly not him. He would never tell Blair to leave again.

He saw what happened the last time. Jim was only trying to protect Blair. From what? He wasn't sure. Sometimes he was convinced it was Alex Barnes. Sometimes he was convinced it was himself.

But there he was, standing by the door, his backpack stuffed to overflowing, its bottom leaning obscenely against his hip. And if that wasn't the goodbye look in his eyes...well, Jim wasn't a Sentinel.

"So...uh...I'm just going to drop off a few things at the U, man. I might be late, so like, uh, don't...wait up."

Blair was stammering. He couldn't meet Jim's eyes. What would he see if he looked deep inside Jim right now? Was there any place left there for him?

"So..." Jim echoed hoarsely. "This is how it ends, Chief?"

That brought his head up sharply. "Ends? Jim, man, how can something end when it never got started in the first place?"

"Our friendship? Never got started? I don't understand, Blair." Jim almost frowned, the effort of maintaining that impassive façade overwhelming his senses. One by one, they began to short out, like fuses that were overloaded.

Blair closed his eyes on a wave of pain. Ironically, just as Jim's senses cut out, Blair's grew heightened. In another moment, it might be...uncontrollable.

He could smell the scent that was uniquely Jim. The faint tinge of sweat coupled with the lingering aroma of the fried onions he'd had for lunch reached his nostrils and made them flare. "Jim...sometimes I swear that you deliberately misunderstand me."

"Why would I do that, Blair?" What's so all-fired important out there that isn't in here? What do you need that I'm not giving you? Why are you forcing yourself to leave when I can tell that it's the last thing on Earth you want to do?

Blair's eyes flew open, shiny and bright and impossibly blue. "What the fuck are you afraid of, man?"

"I don't know."

"Ah, at last, an honest answer," Blair sighed.

"You want me to beg you to stay?"

Blair almost smiled. "That depends. Do you know why you want me to stay?"

"What is this, a customer satisfaction survey? I want you to stay."

"Why?"

"Because...this is your home."

"Why?"

"Because...you belong here."

"Why? Goddammit, answer the fucking question, Jim, or I swear, I am going through that door, and you are never ever going to see me again!"

"Because...I'm in love with you!"

Every vein stood out in Jim's neck. His face flushed dark red, he looked like a man driven to the ends of his endurance.

"Is that a good enough reason?" Jim asked more softly.

Blair's backpack fell to the floor with a whump.

"Kiss me, you dumb fuck."

Truer words of love have never been spoken.

End