Title: Hard as a Rock and Twice as Dumb


Author/pseudonym: Silk


Email address: silkn1@worldnet.att.net


Rating: NC-17


Pairings: Jim/Blair

Date:  3/21/01

Category: Plot What Plot, First Times


Author's website: https://www.angelfire.com/ny4/tinsel/

Disclaimer: All things Sentinel belong to PetFly and Paramount. Not me. No money being made either. Though if I had a nickel for every time Jim was this clueless, I'd be a rich woman.

Summary: Jim raises cluelessness to an artform.

Warnings: m/m

 

*****

 

Hard as a Rock and Twice as Dumb

 

By Silk

 

 

“No, I don’t know what you mean by that. What the fuck do you mean anyway?”

 

An exasperated sigh of major proportions escaped the young man hovering over his laptop. “Jesus, Jim, isn’t it obvious?”

 

“No, Sandburg, it’s not obvious! If it was so fucking obvious to me, why would I ask you?”

 

“I don’t know, Jim.” Sandburg gritted his teeth in a fervent desire to remain seated and *not* grab the nearest two by four to club Jim over the head with. “You ask me plenty of things that you should already know the fucking answers to.”

 

“I do not! And don’t change the subject!”

 

“I’m not changing the subject! There *is* no subject!”

 

“Yes, there is!” Jim advanced on the young anthropologist, his long stride taking him within inches of Sandburg almost instantly. Reaching over Sandburg’s shoulder, he grabbed the observer’s hand and pressed it to the rapidly thickening erection that tested the strength of his zipper. “*This* is a fucking subject all of its own!”

 

Sandburg fixed his smoky blue gaze on Jim’s face. Resisting the urge to squeeze Jim’s dick as hard as humanly possible, he ground out, “I already told you what I think about this.”

 

“That’s the part I don’t understand.”

 

“Jim, how could you not understand what this means, man?”

 

“So? Just because I have a hard-on doesn’t mean it has anything to do with you!”

 

“Ha!”

 

“Ha? What? You think it does?”

 

“That would be a logical assumption, yeah.”

 

“What’s so fucking logical about it, Sandburg? I could have a hard-on for a million different reasons!”

 

“At your age? Don’t make me laugh!”

 

“You sarcastic little prick!”

 

“Jim?” Sandburg had all he could do not to grin ear-to-ear. Sarcasm was one thing, but rubbing Jim’s face in his own cluelessness might be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

 

“What?”

 

“You *do* realize that my hand has been in your crotch for the past five minutes.”

 

“Of course I realize! I put it there!”

 

“Uh huh. Then you *like* it there?”

 

“I-I…shit, Sandburg, you’re a  mean son-of-a-bitch.”

 

“Fine! Then could I please have my hand back?”

 

“No!”

 

“No?” Sandburg’s tone was deceptively soft.

 

“Maybe we could—“

 

“Could what?”

 

“Explore what this means.”

 

“I don’t need to explore anything, Jim! I already told you what it means!”

 

“You mean for once you don’t feel like running a couple hundred tests? What happened to your scientific rationale and the need for empirical evidence?” Jim looked fairly pleased with that last sentence. It validated the fact that he had a college education. It did not, however, convince Sandburg that the detective had a shred of common sense when it came to dealing with his personal life.

 

Sandburg curled his fingers around Jim’s increasingly rigid erection through the material of his jeans. “*This* is all the empirical evidence I need, man.”

 

Jim’s pale blue eyes grew heated as the younger man teasingly stroked his cock. “You sure you don’t want to, um, uh, run a test or two?”

 

Sandburg leaned on the aroused Sentinel, his fingers slowly caressing the aching flesh between his legs. “What would that prove?”

 

“Your theory.”

 

“What theory?”

 

“That I want you,” said Jim, the last word rasped out through sheer force of will. All of the blood in his body was traveling in one direction now and it wasn’t towards his brain.

 

“Oh, I know you want me.” Without releasing his snug grip on Jim’s throbbing hard-on, Sandburg tilted his face up to brush his lips against Jim’s mouth. Despite the older man’s apparent determination to prove that his dick being a hammer ready to pound nails did *not* mean that he was attracted to Sandburg, he responded with a groan that vibrated throughout the grad student’s body. “But what are you going to do about it?”

 

Breathless with anticipation, Jim said, “What I feel like doing is…physically impossible.”

 

That caught the younger man’s interest. “Jim, you’d be surprised what I could do with that body.”

 

Searching for a reasonable scenario that involved Sandburg wrapping that full mouth of his around Jim’s impatient dick, Jim jiggled restlessly, only partially relieved when he felt his partner’s fingers tugging at his zipper. “Then what the hell is taking so long?”

 

Capturing Jim’s earlobe with his teeth, Sandburg chuckled. “Jim, only you could *finally* come to the fucking party and wonder why you were invited in the first place.”

 

“Ummm…where are we going with this, Chief?”

 

Sandburg looked thoughtful. The way his teeth worried his bottom lip made Jim want to kiss him. “That depends, Jim. Where do you *want* it to go?”

 

“I think—“

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I think—“

 

Sandburg laughed, wondering if he had diverted entirely too much of the oxygen to Jim’s groin. “Thinking’s good. What do you think?”

 

“I think I could get used to the way this feels. I think I want to feel like this for the rest of my life. I think—“

 

Unable to make light of the growing intensity in Jim’s usually cool blue eyes, Sandburg found himself hanging on Jim’s every word. “Yeah, Jim?”

 

“I want to keep you.”

 

That was so close to what Sandburg wished for every day of his life that he couldn’t immediately say anything. Masking his own feelings for the time being, Sandburg quipped, “Do you—are you asking me to marry you, Jim?”

 

“Nahhh….”

 

Blair dipped his head automatically, shielding his wounded expression from prying Sentinel eyes.

 

Jim stepped closer to his Guide, wrapping his arms around the younger man’s neck. Pressing his lips to Blair’s ear, he whispered, “We’re already married.”

 

“We are?’ Sandburg squeaked.

 

Jim rocked back and forth, slowly insinuating his hips against the anthropologist’s own curiously overlooked erection. “Yep, we just missed the honeymoon, that’s all.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Pause.

 

“We have an awful lot of time to make up for.”

 

“I think I’m up to the job, Chief.”

 

“Fuck.”

 

“That, too.”

 

“Um…this isn’t just payback for acting like a self-satisfied jerk before, is it?”

 

“Looks like I’m not the only one who needs to buy a clue.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Jim buried his face in the infamous Sandburgian curls that were featured in nearly every fantasy he had about the man and whispered, “I love you, Blair.”

 

“I love you, too, Jim,” Blair whispered back.

 

Jim slid a couple of fingers down the younger man’s back and inside his jeans, stopping only when he came to the cleft at the bottom of his spine. Sandburg stiffened in his arms, finding it ironic that the one with the sensory overload was *him*. Nudging the Guide’s legs apart with his knee, he carefully fit Blair inside his most intimate space, his cock straining to burst free from the bonds that still held it fast.

 

“What was I waiting for, Chief?” asked Jim, referring to almost four years of platonic friendship that culminated in seemingly unrequited love.

 

“I don’t know. An engraved invitation?” he asked with a bemused smile.

 

Jim thumped the younger man’s forehead. “A tattoo right here would have helped.”

 

Blair melted against the older man as Jim sank a finger deep within his narrow opening. “Oh, God, what are you doing to me?” he gasped.

 

“Not nearly enough.”

 

“Then hurry.”

 

“What’s the rush? It’s a rainy Sunday afternoon and we’ve got no place to go. Seems like just the right time for a little slow dancing.”

 

“Can we sleep in your bed afterwards?” Blair asked, hating the wistful tone in his voice. Now that their feelings were out in the open, he felt strangely vulnerable.

 

“Even if all we do is sleep, Chief,” Jim whispered against his mouth.

 

Then he kissed him.

 

 

End