Title: Understood

Author/Pseudonym: Silk

Fandom: Due South

Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski

Rating: PG

E-mail: silkn1@worldnet.att.net

Date: 11/5/00

Disclaimers: Not my characters. All things Due South belong to Alliance. Not for profit.

Notes: This is my very first attempt at writing Due South fan fic. Needless to say, I am a bit horrified to discover that my first story turned out to be a death story.

Warnings: M/M. DEATH STORY.

Understood

By Silk

I didn't know you meant this much to me. I should have known. I'm not the impulsive type. I plan ahead.

But I didn't see this coming.

Every time I see you, the feeling grows stronger. The urge to claim you wars with the words of love that can never be expressed.

Men don't feel like this about other men. Not if they're *real* men. Especially not if they're *Mounties*. And if there is one thing we both know about me, it's that I am a Mountie, through and through.

I am my father's son. More's the pity.

In all the years I've known him, alive or dead, he's never been able to tell me that he loves me.

No doubt I will go to my grave without telling you.

But there is always the chance that wondering, wondering, always wondering, never knowing, will drive me crazy someday.

If it does, I might walk into the 27th spouting some kind of nonsense that sounds suspiciously like a declaration of love.

You'll turn around, your mouth forming an "oh" of surprise. You'll glance nervously at the other cops, cops near enough to hear. You'll say something meant to be noncommittal.

I'll show you what I finally broke down and bought. A shiny new gun.

You'll say, "For me?" in a tone more high-pitched squeak than voice.

I'll say, "No, for me."

You'll realize what's going to happen a moment before it does.

You'll scream, "Noooo!"

And I won't have to wonder anymore.

You'll crouch over me, trying to pull me into your arms too late. And now you'll wonder...why you never had the courage to say those words you were saving for someday.

You'll whisper, "I love you."

And my body's last exhalation of breath will be...

"...Understood..."

End