| Title: Strange Days (1/1) Author: Northlight email: uzenet@videotron.ca Summary: Willow and Spike and Angelus, oh my! Sillyfic/badfic. Distribution: If you're crazy enough to want this... just ask. My site - http://members.spree.com/sip1/northlight12 Rating: Uh... PG13? Disclaimer: Joss owns all. Date: June 30, 2000 Note: No offense is meant by any of the following. I just needed something quick and silly to write because part 4 of Lay Me Bare is refusing to cooperate.
I. A Drunk Virgin and Two Horny Vampires It was nighttime. Willow Rosenberg, ignoring every bit of good sense she had, was outside. Alone. She had a stake, but she was drunk enough that she was more likely to do damage to herself with it than any vampire. She had a very good reason for being drunk. She had discovered that Buffy and Xander were dating. Her favourite shirt had been ruined in a botched lab experiment. Her hair was uncontrollable. She was a mousey, loveless, betrayed virgin. And getting drunk had just sounded cool. Willow was singing. Or trying to. Her voice was slurring and overly loud. It managed to make the nursery rhyme she was singing sound scandalously bawdy. "Mary _had_ a little lamb, little lamb," Willow giggled, wondering what on earth possessed parents to sing such a song to their children. It just so happened that Spike and Angelus were also outside. They were also, in a strange twist of fate, standing on the sidewalk Willow was currently weaving her way down. Because she was drunk out of her mind, Willow wasn't afraid when she saw the two evil, _evil_ vampires. They may have been demons, but they were also hot. And in leather. Willow liked leather. Liked it enough that she couldn't resist reaching out to pat at Angel's leather clad thigh. Nice. Being experienced vampires with a very good sense of smell, Angelus and Spike immediately recognized that meek little Willow Rosenberg was sloshed. Being vampires, they also knew that they had a horny virgin on their hands. Luckily enough, they were also horny. Because they were vampires. And male vampires roamed the world with a continuous hard on (as Buffy had discovered one night much to her embarrassment). Despite reeking of alcohol, and having red rimmed, puffy eyes, the two vampires immediately recognized that they had a glorious spitfire on their hands. Angelus, or perhaps Spike, said something appropriately smarmy for the occasion. Willow just took another deep sip from her bottle (which she had been clutching at since leaving her home. She didn't know _why_ she had left her house, since that was where all the booze was... but she was sure that she had a very good reason.) All the players being in place (and appropriately drunk, horny and lacking in morals), they proceeded to have sex (in the bushes. It was all very nice and romantic, with much in the way of orgasms all around. The only thing that kept it from being downright magical was the ant hill they happened to have rolled onto). II. The Morning After (aka Willow Sobers Up). Willow woke up. She was in bed. Naked. She turned her head to the left. There was a vampire next to her. Naked. She turned her head to the right. There was another vampire next to her. Naked. Willow was sensing a theme. She thought things through a bit and realized she was no longer a virgin (good riddance!) Seeing as she had just had a night of passionate sex with two soulless killers and was still alive, Willow figured that she didn't have anything to fear from them. So, immensely grateful that she had been blessed with two hands, Willow reached out to her two lovers (hard, because Vampires Are Always Horny). Happily, despite the fact that Willow had been a virgin before the night before, and that her two vampires had done all sorts of nasty things (in that cool, sexy nasty kind of way... although they'd done plenty of nasty evil nasty things, too), neither Angelus nor Spike had ever been so aroused. It appeared that Willow had a natural talent in bed. She smiled at them devilishly (because she had been fucked by two vampires, and therefore no longer needed to feel any remorse or embarrassment -- handy, when one is hanging out with the undead). "Morning, boys," Willow purred, having discovered that she was capable of making all kinds of interesting noises. They grinned back at her. Devilishly. Because they were, well, devilish kind of demons. (Not all demons are devilish, you must understand. It takes a certain kind of demon to pull of the proper attitude.). "Morning, Red," Spike replied before kissing her. Passionately, of course. Angelus rolled between Willow's spread thighs and thrust into her, because really, who needs foreplay? And because she was a glorious, sexy spitfire, Willow was already plenty ready. The next few hours could roughly be summarized as such: thrust, groan, "Oh God!," suck, bite, nip, "this has nothing to do with God, baby," thrustthrustthrust, scream, scratch, shudder, lick, swallow, whimper, scream, thrustthrustthrust, collapse.
III. Putting Their Mouths to Other Business Because they were Master Vampires and she was a Former Virgin of the Mortal Variety, Things had Happened. Things often happened between Master Vampires and Mortal Virgins (never mind the fact that these Things were supposed to be incredibly rare...). "We're bonded," Angelus told Willow. "Bonded?" "Because we bit you." Spike nodded. "You'll live forever, now, pet." "With us." "Without aging." "Which is good, because we really wouldn't want to fuck you if you were old and ugly." "You are now an immortal, ageless mate to two vampires." "Uh huh. And now you can also access the..." the vampire (pick one) lowered his voice, "Speed Force." "Huh?" "The Speed Force!" "Oh, okay, then!" Willow smiled cheerily. IV. Getting Settled In They shagged on the living room floor. They boinked in the bathroom. They screwed on the kitchen table. They fucked on the stairs. They had sex in the garage. (etc.) "Gee golly!" Willow chirped. "That was invigorating! I'm hungry, now." The vampires leered at her (need you even be told what response met Willow's statement?). V. Other People Find Out The Scoobies were conveniently gathered in the Library. They were researching, because that's the easiest excuse to have all of them together, in the library. Willow walked in. "Guys, I have something to tell you," she began. "You fucked two vampires and are now bonded to them forever?" Cordelia guessed. "Yup," Willow answered. "Who?" Buffy asked. "Angelus and Spike." Because every story needs an unreasonable, hysterical, bitchy and cruel Scooby to turn on Willow, Buffy slapped the redhead. "You bitchy, man stealing slut!" Buffy wailed. To increase the drama, Angelus and Spike burst into the room. "Willow!" the cried, peppering the redhead with kisses (she had them both wrapped around her little finger, with which she could do utterly amazing things... It turned out that both vampires were really gooey, romantic guys once one peeled past the layers of violence and demoney ickiness. All it took was a really good fuck, and since Willow was Willow, she was the bestest at exactly that). "You hurt my mate!" Angelus snarled. "I'll kill you!" Spike growled. "Not if I kill her first!" Angelus roared. They were angry. Very, _very_ angry (otherwise known as aroused). The two vampires quickly ushered Willow out of the library. The doors swayed shut behind them. The gang stared after them in confusion. A moment later, they heard a whimpered cry as a rhythmic pounding began against the wall. "Guess that answers that question," Cordy shrugged. The gang all looked at each other and shrugged. "Well, that's that," Giles sighed. "Yup." ~end~
|