CAFFEINE AND INTENSE GUILT

Part Twelve Of

THE PARADISE SERIES

By Bitch Willow


Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Willow, Spike, Buffy, or anyone else from BTVS, although I devoutly believe that Joss should give them to me for Christmas.
Author's Note: This takes place during the first part of Wild At Heart. Except, of course, Spike is there. So, WAH in my universe.
Summary: Buffy tries to figure out what's going on with Willow and Spike. (Yes, still. I can use the same summary twice.)

Buffy brushed her long blond hair, thinking to herself. Well, rambling to herself, really. < Okay, I know that Spike likes a girl. I know that Oz likes a girl. I know that Spike likes a girl whose boyfriend is liking someone else. How does this add up? >

The answer came in through the door, yawning. "I am so tired," she breathed. "I had three tests today, and all of them were mentally exhausting. Willow now has no brain to speak of."

Buffy grinned at her friend. "You know, speaking of yourself in the third person is the first sign of insanity."

"Willow doesn?t care, and Buffy should remember that she was once a cave-Slayer who spoke entirely in the third person. And liked 'the tiny people in the TV.' "

"And saved your butt," Buff observed wryly.

Willow blushed. "For which I am abundantly thankful," she reassured.

"That's what I thought," Buffy intoned smugly. A thought occurred. "Hey," she said as casually as possible, "has Spike been acting...I dunno. Weird? Around you?"

There it was. Willow visibly stiffened, but she resolutely pressed her lips together and shook her head. "Nu-uh. Just regular old evil Spike. Evil evil evil."

"And nothing else? He has no other traits?" Buffy asked.

"Nope."

The Slayer sighed. This was going nowhere. "But you two used to be friends...for awhile there. What happened, did he hit on you or something?" Buffy laughed, then watched the tiny changes in Willow?s expression. First her eyes bugged, then she shut her eyes, then she opened them and sucked in an uneasy breath.

"Nooo," she laughed unconvincingly. "Like I'm really Spike's type."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "I dunno. He said that he thought you were...cute."

Willow snorted, lying back on the bed and throwing an arm over her eyes. "Yeah, 'cute.' Cute means puppies and babies, Buffy. Cute means your boyfriend's little brother."

"So, what? You think Spike thinks of you as a little sister?"

"Uh-huh."

The blond considered, then threw the question at Willow. "Then...why aren't you two friends anymore?" Silence met her ears, and she looked over at her friend. "Will?"

The redhead was fast asleep. Buffy sighed again, turning out the light.


***

The next day...

Willow sighed in frustration, watching her boyfriend walk away. Now it was just her and Veruca. Yep. Just her and one blond, skanky, lead-singer werewolf...assuming Spike was right, anyway.

Veruca shone a big, fake smile at the other girl, then grabbed her coffee. "Well, I've gotta be going too. It was nice seeing you again." She took off, her hips moving from side to side. Willow could see the smirk on her face all too well. She was probably thinking, < This is too easy. >

Willow threw that thought from her mind. She had more important things to worry about. Things like Spike.

< But you?re not supposed to be thinking about Spike, are you? > Not that she could help it. His arrogant face came unbidden into her mind about every thirty seconds. And she had to worry now. Buffy had been asking about her and Spike. Buffy, who could sing in verse the bad things about dating a vampire, was encouraging her to think about Spike in a romantic way. Maybe her brain had been replaced by a pod.

She was shaken from her thoughts by a concerned looking Buffy. "Are you awake in there, Will?" the Slayer asked worriedly.

Willow smiled, then gestured for Buffy to take a seat. "I'm fine. I was just...thinking."

Buffy sat, cradling a mochachino in her hands. "Wasn't Oz supposed to be eating with us?"

Willow made a face, thinking about the werewolf's swift departure, and her own humiliation at the hands of the bitchy lead singer. Oz could have at least stepped in to help her out a little earlier. Like it was her fault that she didn't know what kind of speakers Shy should use.

She realized that she hadn't answered, and blushed. "Oh! He ate already...with Veruca. They took off a few minutes ago."

"Veruca, huh?" Buffy looked sympathetic.

"Yeah." Willow rolled her eyes. "The conversation was pretty awkward, considering that I don't speak musician-ese. And oh yeah, all that burgeoning sexual tension between the two of them didn't help much either." She sighed, sinking her chin onto her hand.

Buffy took her other hand. "So he notices some other girl. Big deal. Oz loves you."

< I know, > she thought anxiously. "I know," she repeated out loud. "But...he wants her. I can see it in the way he looks at her. And if there had been more heat there, the table would have been on fire." She sighed, then continued on hesitantly. "Spike...Spike says she's a werewolf. That that's why Oz is so...distracted around her. Animal instincts."

Buffy?s eyes widened. "You're kidding." Willow shook her head sadly and Buffy made an understanding little face. "Is...is that why you and Spike are no longer on speaking terms?"

< Dammit! Oh, can't I just tell her already? > "Well, actually..." She was about to blurt out the whole story, when suddenly she saw a blond man with a hat standing about ten feet behind Buffy. He mouthed to her, 'Don't say it, Wills.' Willow?s mouth snapped shut, and she back-tracked. "Um, yeah. That's why. Now, um. I kind of have to go. But I'll see you later. O?okay, Buff?" She grabbed her bag, then walked off, leaving the Slayer speechless.

For about twenty seconds. Then she put her chin in her hand and sighed. "Someday I'm going to get a straight answer from those two."


***

Willow walked quickly over to the man, gritting her teeth. < Of all the times to come here, it had to be now. > She threw back her hair (well, what was left of it) and arrogantly walked up to him. "Who the hell are you?" Ha. And people thought that hanging out with Cordelia for so long had no benefits.

He laughed. "Wow. You certainly are the little spitfire. I can see what Spike sees in you."

A wave of pain struck her, but she ignored it, instead focusing on the man in front of her. "Look, name and how you know about me and Spike had better be provided within ten seconds, or I'll go get Buffy and tell her that there?s a demon at the college. An annoying one," she said meaningfully, looking down her nose at him.

He managed to look offended. "Now, why do you think I'm a demon?" Willow looked at him pointedly, then grabbed his hat off his head, revealing two flesh-colored horns coming out of his forehead. The blond made a surprised noise and grabbed his hat back, hissing at the redhead. "Hello, there are like seventy humans around! These horns should probably stay covered." He sighed. "Okay, lets go get a table." The headed over to the nearest unoccupied one (which was about twenty feet away and incredibly hard to find amidst the mob of college kids eating there) and he pulled up a chair for her, then sat down himself. He chuckled. "You know, you?re lucky I'm not just a human with a deformity. You?d be feeling like a real bitch right about now."

Willow winced, thinking that over. "You're right. Oops?"

"Forget it," he said breezily. "Now, let me introduce myself. My name's Tristan, and I work for..."


***

Several hours later, Willow was shaking her head and sighing. "Okay, but why are you here? Especially right now? If you know..." She swallowed painfully. "If you know about me and Spike, then you know that things aren't exactly fab right here, right now."

Tris shrugged. "That is why I'm here. To iron things out." He leaned forward, making sure that he had the witch's eye. "He loves you."

Willow bit her lip and looked away. "No he doesn't. and even if he does...Oz." She angrily wiped a tear from her cheek, trying not to think about the werewolf and his straying eye. Although, she wasn't one to talk about straying... "Oh my god!" She buried her head in her hands.

Immediately, Tris was by her side, looking helpless. "Willow...oh, please don't cry. I don't deal well with crying people. Or demons. Or vampires. Or...oh, gee, please stop. What is it?"

She looked up at him. "Well, it's just this whole thing with Spike...it's like I'm betraying Oz all over again. And then Oz, he's..." A fresh wave of tears overcame her.

Tris patted her shoulder awkwardly. Her sobs were already starting to attract the attention of several nearby tables. Her whimpers tapered down to a sniff, and he handed her a napkin, which she wiped her nose with. "Thank you."

"No big," he sad gently. "Now, why don't you tell me the whole story. From the beginning."

Willow opened her mouth, and it all came spilling out.


***

Tristan listened silently for the extent of the story. The redhead had a tendency to go off on tangents and ramble about the oddest things, but she did the dramatic story justice, and her emotional attachment to it made it real. He pushed his coffee nearer to her and smiled when she took a drink. Telling the tale had left her emotionally exhausted, and what she really needed was a rest, but some caffeine would do for now.

"Well," he said, trying to address the subject sensitively, "I think you have to make a choice. It's about who you love: Oz or Spike. Who do you love, Willow?"

Willow opened her mouth to speak, but no matter what, she couldn?t come up with an answer.


THE END

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