SIMPSONS

Bart:  Well, I'll be a son of a witch! ["Treehouse of Horror VIII" episode]

The Fritz Schnackenpfefferhausen Bratwurst song
Rainier Wolfcastle: Mein bratwurst has a first name,
                    It's F-R-I-T-Z,
                    Mein bratwurst has a second name,
                    It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N

Homer's Tank Song
Homer:  Ooh!  Ee!  Ooh-ah-ah!  Ching, chang, walla-
               walla-bing-bang!  Ooh!  Ee!  Ooh-ah-ah!
              Walla-bing-bang-ching-chang-doo!

Homer:  Look at 'em. Watchin' my TV. Sittin on my couch. You better not be in my ass groove!"                      

Homer:  "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!" 
 
Bart: Mo-om! My slingshot doesn't fit in these pockets. And these shorts leave nothing to the imagination. These uniforms suck.
Marge: Bart, where do you pick up words like that?
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night! That just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked! 

Marge: I know we didn't ask for this, Homer, but doesn't the bible say, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me … ?"
Homer: Yes, but doesn't the bible also say, "Thou shalt not take moochers into thy hut?"


CLUE
Colonel Mustard: Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone?
Wadsworth: I don't know. He's on everyone else's, why shouldn't he be on mine?
Mr. Green: But this is ridiculous! If he were such a patriotic American, why didn't he just report us to the authorities?
Wadsworth: He decided to put his information to good use and make a little money off of it. What could be more American than that?!
Wadsworth: We're like the Mounties; we always get our man.
Mr. Green: Mrs. Peacock was a man?
Wadsworth: I can explain everything...
Cop: You don't have to.
Wadsworth: I don't?
Cop: No, there's nothing illegal about any of this.
Wadsworth: Are you sure?
Cop: Of course, this is America!
Wadsworth: I see...
Cop: It's a free country, don't you know that?
Wadsworth: I didn't know it was THAT free!

Wadsworth: But he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared.
White: But that was his job. He was an illusionist.
Wadsworth: But he never reappeared.
White: He wasn't a very good illusionist.
Col. Mustard: Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
Wadsworth: You don't need any help from me, sir.
Col. Mustard: That's right!
Col. Mustard: How many husbands have you had?
Mrs. White: Mine or other women's?
Prof. Plum: Is there going to be a cover up?
Wadsworth: Isn't that in the public interest? What could be gained by exposure?
Prof. Plum: But is the FBI in the habit of cleaning up after multiple murder?
Wadsworth: Yes. Why do you think it's run by a man called Hoover?
Mr. Green: So it was you. I was going to expose you.
Wadsworth: I know. So I choose to expose myself.
Colonel Mustard: Please, there are ladies present!
Colonel Mustard: Two corpses, everything's fine.
Mrs. Peacock: Maybe he's alive, maybe he's dead. What difference does it make?
Miss Scarlett: Makes quite a difference to him.
White:  It's a matter of life after death, now that he's dead I have a life. 

White:  Men should be like Kleenex- soft, strong and disposable
LORD OF THE RINGS
Gandalf: One ring to rule them all; one ring to find them. One ring to keep them all, and in the darkness bind them!
ARMAGEDDON

Harry: Do a good job. Do a good job.  Do a good job.  Good job.

AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY

Austin Powers:   Allow myself to introduce…myself.

Mr. Evil:  I’ve got a whole bag of SHH with your name on it.

Mr. Evil:  Let me tell you a little story about a man named ‘Shh’

Mr. Evil:  They’re always after me lucky charms

BATMAN

Batman:  Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? 

BATMAN FOREVER

Batman:  If knowledge is power then a god am I. 

BATMAN RETURNS

Batman:  You poor guys. Always confusing your pistols with your privates. 

Batman:  It's the so-called normal guys who always let you down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed. 

Poison Ivy:  Life's a b*tch; now so am I. 

Batman:  That's my name, Maxamillion, don't wear it or I'll make you buy me a new one. 

CLUELESS

Cher:  So, ok, like, right now for example, the Haitians need to come to America, but some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" But it's like, when I threw this garden party for my father's fiftieth birthday I said R.S.V.P. because it was a sit down dinner. But people came that, like, did not R.S.V.P., so I was totally buggin'. I had to haul "butt" into the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings...but, by the end of the day, it was, like, the more the merrier. And so, in conclusion, if the US could just get to the kitchen rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And may I remind that it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.

CON AIR
:  Sorry boss, there's only two men I trust. One of 'em's me, the other one's not you. 

:  Define irony. A bunch of guys dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band who died in a plane crash. 

FERN GULLY: THE LAST RAINFOREST
 :  Human tales? Humans don't have tails, they have big, big bottoms that they wear with   bad shorts, and they walk around going "HI HELEN"


FRIDAY

:  D*MN! Ya'll ain't never got two things that match! Either got Kool-Aid, no sugar; peanut butter, no jelly; ham, no burger. . . D*MN! 

:  You got to be one stupid mother f*cker to get fired on your day off.


GHOST
:  No, you relax, you're the dead guy!


GOONIES

Mikey:  It's their time up there, but down here it's our time. It's our time down here! That's all over once we go up Troy's bucket!


THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE

:  Don't f*ck with me retard. My version of the story will be better than yours!! 
:  The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.

INDEPENDENCE DAY

:  Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin' your heavy *ss through the burnin' desert with your dreadlocks stickin' out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin' all big and bad... and what the h*ll is that smell? I could've been at a barbecue! But I ain't mad.


A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN

:  If it was easy, everybody would do it. The hard, is what makes it great. 
:  Are you crying? There's no crying. There's no crying in baseball. 

MEN IN BLACK

:  It just be raining black men in New York! 
:  Hey, you never flashy thingied me, right? 






	
Weekend at Bernie's
-What kind of host invites you to his house for the weekend and then dies on you??
While You Were Sleeping 
-Peter once asked me when it was I fell in love with Jack. And I told him, 'It was while you were sleeping'. 
The Wizard of Oz 
-You clinking, clanking, clattering, collection of coliginious junk! 
-The Great Oz has Spoken! 
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 
-Well... here's to the pencil pushers. May they all die of lead poison.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
-We are the music makers. And we are the dreamers of the dreams. 
-So shines a good deed in a weary world. 
-A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. 
-There's no earthly way of knowing... Which direction we are going... There's no knowing where we're rowing... Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing so the danger must be growing. Are the fires of hell a-glowing? Yes, the danger must be growing 'Cause the rowers keep on rowing. And they're certainly not showing any signs that they are slowing! 
-If the good Lord had intended us to walk he wouldn't have invented roller-skates. 
-So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. 
-Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
The Princess Bride
-You've been mostly dead all day. (Submitted by Heather Vaughan) 
-Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something 
-As you wish. 
-Inconcievable!
-I always think everything could be a trap. Which is why I'm still alive. 

-Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dwaem within a dweam. 
-Many are here, I am here. Soon you will not be here. 
Scream 
-Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies just make psychos more creative. 
-If I'm right about this, I could save a man's life. Do you know what that would do for my book sales? 
-Who am I? The beer wench? 
-Oh please don't kill me Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel! 
-I will totally protect you. Yo, I am so buff, I got you covered, girl. 
-What's the point they're all the same, some stupid killer stalking some big breasted girl who can't act and is always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door, it's insulting. -Liver alone, man. Get it? Liver alone. Ha, ha. What? 
Uncle Buck 
-I don't think I wanna know a kid who isn't a dreamer or a sillyheart
Miles: Where do you live?
Buck: In the city.
Miles: You have a house?
Buck: Apartment.
Miles: Own or rent?
Buck: Rent.
Miles: What do you do for a living?
Buck: Lots of things.
Miles: Where's your office?
Buck: I don't have one.
Miles: How come?
Buck: I don't need one.
Miles: Where's your wife?
Buck: Don't have one.
Miles: How come?
Buck: Its a long story.
Miles: You have kids?
Buck: No I don't.
Miles: How come?
Buck: Its an even longer story.
Miles: Are you my dad's brother?
Buck: Whats your record for consecutive questions asked?
Miles: 38.
Buck: I'm your dads brother all right.
Miles: You have much more hair in your nose than my dad.
Buck: How nice of you to notice.
Miles: I'm a kid, thats my job.
Three Men and A Little Lady
What a croc
We are creatures of the night, we are children of laluna
Lousy actor ay?! Constipated?!?!?!?
3 Ninjas
-We don’t want to hurt you…we just wanna kidnap you
-What’s my name gonna be? Can I be monster destroyer? Or how about super killer?
How about super dork?
Shut up spaz!




AIRBORNE
:  Yeah bra.
:  Did he just call you a piece of underwear?

AMERICA’S SWEETHEARTS

:  I am a paranoid schizophrenic. I AM my own entourage.
:  We have a saying Edward. Mecke Lecke Halava Beem sala beem. 
:  What is that? Bean salad? Wha.
:  Mecke Lecke Salave. Beem sala Beem.
:  What does that mean?
:  I don’t know what it means. It’s very old…



ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES

:  Don’t I yearn? And Ache? And shop?  Don’t I deserve Love? And Jewelry?

[They're going swimming.]
Amanda: I'll be the victim.
Wednesday: All your life.

Pugsley: We don't hug.
Gary: Oh, you're just shy.
Wednesday: We're not shy, we're contagious.

[The dancer in the cake doesn't pop out.]
Gomez Addams: Was she in the cake before you baked it?
[Lurch hangs his head.]

Debbie: Would you die for me?
Fester Addams: Yes.
Debbie: Promise?

Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby?
Pugsley: We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.
Wednesday: Especially his head.

Gomez: He has my father's eyes.
Morticia: Gomez, take those out of his mouth.

ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING
Sarah:  Where are we going?
:  To hell, kind of exciting don’t you think?

Chris Parker:  Is it a hand?
Brad:  No.
Chris Parker:  Oh good.
Brad:  It’s a gun.
Chris Parker:  Oh god.


Sarah:  My mom is paying you good money to watch me.
Chris Parker:  Well, Brad can watch you.
Sarah:  Why would my mom pay you good money for Brad to watch me.

Chris Parker: Nobody panic. This is all just a big mistake.
Sarah: What about Brenda?
Brad: That was her parents' mistake.

Dr. Nuhkbane: There you are, one stitch.
Brad Anderson: One stitch?
Dr. Nuhkbane: Yes, one stitch.
Brad Anderson: My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch? Chris is gonna think I'm a total failure!

ANNE OF GREEN GABLES

[Anne has just fallen from a roof.]
Diane Berry:  Just say one word and tell me if you're killed!
Anne Shirley:  No... but I think I've been rendered unconscious. 

Anne Shirley:  My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.
That’s a sentence I read once and I say it over to comfort myself in these times that try the soul.

Mrs. Cadbury:  Tell me what you know about yourself.
Anne Shirley:  Well, it isn’t really worth telling, Mrs. Cadbury…but if you let me tell you what I imagine about myself you’ll find it a lot more interesting.


TOYS

Patrick Zevo: Treat your friends like your enemies, and your enemies like your friends.
Patrick Zevo: We’ve got to be: one mind, one body, one goal, one soul.
Leslie Zevo:  I wonder what the flasing red lights mean.
Alsatia Zevo: Well, red usually means caution, or beef, if it’s a bouillon cube.
Jerry Seinfeld:  A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. 
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A conscience does not prevent sin, it only prevents you from enjoying it. 
Sir. Winston Churchill:  A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.