Disclaimer: All characters in this story are the property of NBC, Warner Brothers, John Wells, and whoever else. I just borrow them and promise to return them. Don't worry, I won't hurt them. I make no money off these fics, I write them for fun.

Feedback is always appreciated-> DougandCarol@hotmail.com

The music in this story is "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle

Notes: Flashbacks throughout the story are indicated by italics. There is one flashback between Luka and his father, but I left it in english to keep confusion down.

Thanks: To Carolina for the baby name, and Raquel and Shannon who always encourage me! And last but not least, all of the other Lubies who continually tell me how much they like my stories and beg me for more. :)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

There's two things I know for sure.
She was sent here from heaven, and she's daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night, she talks
to Jesus, and I close my eyes.
And I thank God for all the joy in my life,
Oh, but most of all, for...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The dark clouds began rolling in by late afternoon, covering the entire Chicago area in a dark, almost eerily shadow that made the headlights on cars, and streetlamps glow against the dark pavement. Before long, rain began falling lightly from the ever-bursting clouds, pattering softly against the trees and ground. Smashing against the windows, it left small streaks of water, almost like miniature rivers left to fall.

Inside the house, Luka shook off his semi-saturated jacket and dropped his shoes next to the staircase. Peering through the glass window out into the rapidly approaching storm, he shivered quickly in the slight chill that surrounded him. Looking to the small table that sat in the entranceway, he grabbed another unopened baby gift and grasped it under his arm as he began his ascent up the staircase.

"Abby?" he called out as he took the last step beneath him and his feet rubbed against the soft carpet beneath his feet.

Outside, thunder rumbled lowly in the distance, grumbling an evil moan as the fog thickened. The air inside the house was cool and clammy, almost drafty. Checking the thermostat, Luka adjusted the knob to a higher temperature, attempting to warm the air.

"What are you doing?" he asked, entering the bedroom to find her seated on the floor, with her body propped up against the wall. Dressed in her pajamas, her focus was on a stack of empty gift boxes that sat near the end of the bed, some stack neatly and others dumped messily about.

"Thinking." She mumbled quietly, picking nonchalantly at a loose thread from her pajama top.

"About what?"

"That I can't do this." She exasperated, shaking her head gently as if saying no to something.

Walking over and sitting besides her, he pushed the stack of boxes further away. A flash of lightening outside illuminated the dimly lit room for a few mere seconds, allowing Luka to catch a better glimpse of Abby's face. Pulling a blanket from the bed, and throwing it over her legs and his own, another crash of thunder rumbled outside.

"Do what?" he asked as she pressed her head against the wall and allowed both of her hands to rest on her stomach. As she did, they both sat in silence for a moment. Her gaze turned to the window as she peered through the glass and the rain slammed up against it, propelled forcefully by the wind.

"Have a baby." She finally replied. "I can't do it." She repeated as Luka took his own hand and pressed it up against her stomach.

"Yes you can." He assured her. "You will do fine."

Shaking her head as she allowed a small, unconvinced laugh to escape her throat, she pulled her own hand on top of Luka's. The strong kicks were steady and frequent, tickling their hands gently. Outside, the sounds of the thunder grew louder as the storm grew closer, approaching fast as another rumble sounded.

"You will." He promised, leaning in as he planted a kiss on her shoulder.

Dropping her head down, she couldn't reply but only shook her head again. Listening to the sounds of the rainfall outside, it created a calming feeling inside. Looking down to her ankles, which were visibly swollen, it only brought her to a clearer realization of the events due to take place on any day at any time.

"No, I spent years helping to deliver other women's babies. I would hold them and then give them to their mothers." She finally began rambling, stretching her feet back and forth. "But this one's mine. I can't just hand it over and say congratulations." She continued, lifting her head to watch him. "I've never had something like that, something that was mine that couldn't be taken away."

Moving closer to her, Luka rubbed his hand up and down her arm, gently comforting her. Holding his hand against her, he could only nod again. "It is yours, and it does not matter if you don't think you know how to do it. You will learn fast, it will come naturally." He assured her.

Quietly as another crash of thunder sounded outside, louder than the previous few, Abby pressed her hand firmly up against Luka's as the kicking continued. "That's our baby." She mumbled quietly.

Smiling at her, he could only chuckle as she mumbled the words our baby. "I know." He replied, grasping her hand in his own. "But that is why it's so exciting." He continued. "Abby, we will get to rock our baby and watch it grow. It will be ours."

"And what if something goes wrong? All I can think about is if I made this baby sick or I'll do something wrong. What if something goes wrong like I don't breathe right or I can't push. I know how to tell women to do that, but it's different when you actually have to do it." She rambled on, talking so quickly it was difficult for Luka to comprehend everything she was saying.

He had never seen her as worked up as she was before. The words were flowing faster than she could speak, many jumbled together incoherently. He found it slightly amusing, but understood her fears at that moment. He knew she had a right to be as worked up as she was; he wasn't the one who could go into labor at any second.

"Abby." Luka whispered. "Do not worry so much." He continued, as his voice slowly grew louder. "You will breathe and push and do everything just fine." He assured her, staring into her eyes, watching each blink or movement. "And I will be there the whole time, holding your hand and I will make sure that everything goes alright."

Without a response, Abby shifted her body and moaned uncomfortably as she leaned in a new position, allowing some of her aching muscles a rest. Outside, the rain began falling heavily, forming deep puddles along the streets and saturating the grass.

"You will see." He said, pulling his body around so he sat facing her, folding his legs crossed in front of him. "I promise that as soon as the baby is born and you hold her for the first time, you will not even remember how scared you are." He assured her once more, as his grin grew wider. "I promise." Was the last he spoke, kissing her softly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.
"Walk beside the pony, daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, daddy, but I sure tried."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Yeah, I've been sober for about 3 years now, and everyday is still a struggle. Every time I see a bottle I still want it; I want it more than anything. I never take it, I never taste it, but I always get that urge." A man named Paul said from the front of the room, behind a podium. "I'm just afraid of my kids now, especially Kristin, she's 15. I don't want her to start experimenting, I mean, I suppose she probably has already, I know a lot of her friends have." the man continued.

Across the room, Abby sat in the fourth row on the end, right next to a wall in a horrible metal chair, not meant for a pregnant woman to be sitting in. She was staring at the man who was speaking and thought of herself up there. She hadn't shared in what seemed as if forever; she really hadn't had much she wanted to share.

"Do you know what time it is?" an older man next to her asked, as she lifted her arm to see her watch.

"11:16." Abby replied, closing her eyes as a dull pain ran through her back, again. The pains had been coming and going since early that morning, and she had been brushing them off as Braxton hicks. She took a deep breath and let it out as she rested her hand on her stomach.

"Are you ok?" the man next to her asked, watching as she squeezed her eyes shut.

Abby nodded, blowing out slowly. "Fine." She replied.

"You don't look fine." The man said, still watching her, eyeing her enlarged stomach.

"I said I'm fine." She shot back, turning her head away. The man shook his head and turned his attention back to the front of the room.

"I've been sober for 15 years now." A woman said from the front of the room, taking the place of the man behind the podium. "The other day, I went to my godson's brisk and watching so many of the people I knew there get drunk." she continued, tapping her hand on the podium. "It reminded me of why I started coming to AA."

As the woman continued to talk, Abby totally tuned her out as she focused on the back of the chair in front of her. She could hear the faint mumbles coming from the two men in front of her, they had a newspaper opened to the sports section and were bickering back and forth about something.

"Damn it, I told you this the other day." One of the men whispered, pointing to something on the paper. "Now pay up."

"Oh shut up, you didn't say shit." The other man whispered back. "I'm not giving you anything."

Abby sighed as the two men began to fight quietly, the woman's voice still blaring loudly throughout the meeting room. As she turned her body, shifting her weight in an attempt to alleviate some of her muscle aches, another pain ripped through her back, along with a sudden feeling of pressure in her abdomen.

"Shit." She said, just loud enough for the few people around her to hear, as she felt a warm fluid run down both of her legs, soaking her pants. "Oh god."

"You aren't going to tell me you're ok now are you?" the man next to her asked again, watching her face turn to one of panic.

Staring up at him in a daze, she felt unsure of what to do. The sound of the woman's voice became just a loud noise, her vision blurred as nervousness filled every cavity of her body. "Do me a favor?" she finally replied, grabbing a rung on the metal chair, nodding through the pain as the contraction ripped through her. "Go into my bag." She mumbled, letting out a deep breath. "In the front pocket.. get my cell phone." She said, pointing toward the purse at her feet.

The elderly man only nodded and reached for her bag, pulling it into his lap. Finding the cell phone in the pocket, he pulled it out as the voices continued from the front of the room.

"You really should call 911 or get someone to drive you to the hospital." He said, himself now growing panicked by the situation.

Grabbing the phone from him, Abby just shook her head as she punched a number into it. "My husband's a doctor." She finally replied, as the tension in the man's face eased slightly.

Holding the phone to her ear, the ringing was loud and irritating. "Randi?" she spoke as a voice on the opposite end of the line picked up. "Get Luka for me." She ordered as the man sat, watching intently as he chewed his lip.

A few others who sat scattered around the meeting were now turned, watching as Abby sat on the phone. It didn't take many of them to look at the floor and back to her to realize what was happening.

"No, I don't care if he's in with a patient, go get him." She whispered loudly, as the two bickering men in front of her turned around.

"You know." The old man next to her began. "My wife, bless her soul. She had four kids, so if you need anything.." he offered as the meeting came to a close up front.

"It's ok." Abby assured him, as the fumbling of someone picking up a phone sounded in her ear.

The room began emptying at that point, leaving only a few curious people who stood near the exit, waiting to see what would happen next.

"Abby?" Luka's voice called, as he spoke into the phone. Randi stood nearby, listening to the conversation as Haleh walked past and dropped an armload of paperwork on the counter.

"Luka." She practically yelled, as the man watched. "Luka, it's time." She said quickly, as she felt the beginnings of another contraction.

Standing silently for a moment, he watched as Randi eyed him oddly. "It is time?" he replied excitedly as Haleh also turned to watch. "Wait, how much time is there between your contractions?" he asked, already pulling his stethoscope from around his neck.

Taking a deep breath as the next contraction began, Abby could only shake her head. "I don't know, maybe five or six minutes." She replied. "But my water just broke." She confessed.

"Your water broke?" he repeated as his heart began pounding in his chest. By this time, not only were Randi and Haleh listening curiously, but Malik and Dr. Finch were also within earshot, watching him. "Ok, Abby." He began, "You are at a meeting right?"

"Yes." She replied, as the group of curious onlookers began leaving, whispering quietly amongst themselves.

"Ok, I will be there in a little while." He said excitedly, as he hung the phone up and peeled his lab coat off. "I have to go get Abby." He announced, as Carter walked up, chewing on a sandwich. "Carter, can you and Mark cover for me?" he asked impatiently as he fished in his pants pocket for his keys.

"Why? Where are you going?" Carter asked, swallowing the last of the food as he leaned over the counter.

"Abby's in labor." Randi piped up, as the phone began to ring. "County." She answered, as Carter's eyes grew large.

"Really?" he asked, standing up.

Hastily nodding, Luka tossed his lab coat beneath the admit desk and found his keys. "Yes."

"Yeah, I'll cover." Carter replied quickly.

Waving his hand a quick thanks, Luka jogged from behind the admit desk and through the ambulance bay doors. His feet hit the ground hard as the rain fell onto him, quickly soaking through his clothes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Running through the large building where the A.A. meetings were held, Luka could feel his heart pounding nervously in his chest. Poking his head into each of the rooms he came to, he found empty rooms, and continued down the hallway until he heard a familiar voice let out a pained moan.

"Abby?" he called, entering the room where he found her and an older man seated. Abby was gripping to the strap of her purse, squeezing it between her fingers as she moaned. "Abby." He repeated, leaning over as he kissed her cheek.

"She's had two more contractions since she hung up with you." The old man said, nodding at Luka. "I'm Trevor." He introduced himself.

Luka nodded and flashed him a quick smile. "Thank you for staying with her." He thanked him, offering his hand for Abby to hold.

"It was no problem, I couldn't leave her here all alone." He replied, looking to the floor. "I could get someone to clean that so you can go." He offered.

"Thank you." Luka again said, as Abby clasped to his hand and began to stand as the contraction ended.

Handing Luka the purse he still held in his hands, Trevor too got to his feet and gathered his newspaper from next to him. Nodding and waving goodbye, he called out a final good luck as Abby teetered from the room, Luka holding her purse over his shoulder.

Once they reached the small parking lot, Luka helped her into the car and jumped into the driver's side. Buckling her seatbelt, Luka started the car and pulled away with such force that she jerked in her seat.

"Luka, slow down!" she said, as he pulled out onto the main road.

"We need to get you to the hospital." He replied, checking for cars coming from his right side.

"My contractions are still five minutes apart, we have plenty of time." She assured him. "And you need to stop back at home anyway, the bag is there."

"No, I will get you to the hospital and then go get the bag. Your water broke, we need to get there." He rambled, his accent growing thicker as he spoke faster.

"Are you in labor?" Abby asked, as they passed the exit onto the major roadway. "It's my body and I said to go home first." She ordered. "Will you just listen to me?"

Turning his head quickly, he finally sighed and agreed, turning the car in the direction of their neighborhood. Watching the windshield wipers as they pushed the raindrops off the windshield of the car, Abby allowed her head to press back into the headrest, waiting for the next contraction to wash over.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sweet sixteen today,
She's looking like her momma a little more every day.
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and makeup, from ribbons and curls.
Trying her wings out in a great big world.
But I remember...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The machine made a loud booming sound as the can slid out the opening, and Luka's hand grabbed for it. Pulling the cold can into his hands, he pulled the pop-top forward, and then back. He allowed the cold liquid to drip down his throat, as he leaned up against the machine, looking toward the light blue color of the wall.

"She's crowning in 502!" a nurse called, pacing past him, grabbing a pair of fresh gloves from a nearby cart. "Somebody go get Dr. Coburn."

Luka took another gulp of the soda and walked across the hallway to a chair that sat next to a small counter stacked high with boxes of gloves and paper masks. Leaning over, placing his elbows on his knees, he let out a huge sigh, blowing hard, wiping his eyes. He heard a loud scream from down the hallway and smiled, as 2 more nurses rushed past him.

"I'm sorry Luka."

"You did not just have your wife and children taken from you, how can you be sorry?"

"Come home with me, you can come back home."

"No I cannot go home. I cannot ever go back to the place they were taken from me."

Fiddling with his fingers, he allowed the condensation that had formed on the soda can to wet his hands, tapping his feet lightly on the floor. His stomach was tied in a large knot, his nervousness apparent by the look on his face, and the way his body was rocking back and forth.

His focus turned to one of the nurses who had just passed, and he watched as she grabbed a baby blanket and newborn hat from a closet and carried them into a nearby room. He smiled, taking another gulp, thinking of Abby who was only rooms away.

"Another new resident in the middle of the year?"

"Well, I'm a med student."

"You live in a hotel?"

"You've been watching Martha Stewart again?"

"I said to page Coburn!" a voice called, as another nurse poked her head out from down behind the admit desk.

"She got called in for an emergency c-section!"

"Then get someone else! This baby is coming now!"

Luka tapped his feet again, pulling his watch up to look at the time. Abby had told him to go and get a drink and something to eat, that she'd be ok. He had only been gone for 3 or 4 minutes, but it already felt like hours.

"Luka… I'm late."

"Have you taken a test?"

"It's negative."

Pushing himself back to his feet, he fiddled with the lid of the soda and walked back the short distance to the room Abby was in. Pushing through the heavy door, he set the cold can down on the counter and walked back to the bedside.

"I'm back." He said, leaning over to kiss her sweat saturated forehead.

"I said to go eat." She replied, turning her head on the pillow, pulling her right arm from under the blanket.

"I'm not hungry." Luka replied, pulling the chair nearby back up alongside the bed. "I would rather stay here with you."

He grinned and pulled at the leg of his pants, looking toward the fetal monitor, which read a heartbeat of 144. The nervous feeling continued to build inside of him, his stomach aching with anticipation.

"God." Abby moaned, as her hand clenched, gritting her teeth as another contraction began. She let out a loud, wailing moan as the pain intensified, Luka sliding his hand into hers, allowing her something to grip.

"Breathe through it Abby." He coached, leaning over closer to her as she lifted her head from the pillow, moaning, and squeezing his hand harder. "It is almost over." He said, looking at the monitor as the lines became less and less. "Ok, good."

She let out a deep breath as it ended, her head falling back against the pillow. She let her grip go on his hand, pulling it back close to her, swallowing as the pain vanished for the next few minutes.

"Luka.." She moaned, as he wiped her forehead with a washcloth he had grabbed from the table nearby.

"You are doing so great." He replied, pushing her matted hair from her face, wiping her forehead over again.

"I had an abortion, is that what you want to hear!?"

"What?"

"Yeah Luka, I had an abortion. Richard never knew, he didn't deserve to know."

"Stop yelling, Abby, I.."

"You think I'm pathetic, so does everyone else. It's nothing new Luka. I'll recover."

"You are not pathetic. But why didn't you tell me?"

"I just did. Do you feel better now, knowing some more shit that I've done? More pain I caused?"

As her hand moved up to her face, the door to the room again opened, and a nurse strolled in, Abby's chart in hand. She dropped the chart on the counter and flashed both Abby and Luka a smile as she pulled a pair of gloves on.

"Hello Abby." She greeted her, walking toward the bed. "And you must be Dr. Kovac."

Luka nodded, dropping the cloth back into the basin he had taken it from.

"I'm Nurse Benson… call me Robyn though." She introduced herself. "Krystal got called home, so you'll have to settle with me now" She said with a smile. "I'm just going to take a quick look and we'll see how you're doing."

"Are you sure you do not want an epidural?" Luka asked as Robyn began to examine her. "You could still get one if you wanted."

Abby nodded, wincing in pain as she finished the quick exam. "I already said no." She mumbled, letting out a gasp as Linda pulled away from her.

More fear, this time of an epidural. She knew they were almost completely safe, but she wanted no risks at this point. Luka knew that. Afraid that the rape, and her injuries from it, or anything at all could affect the effects of the epidural, she had refused one.

"You're at six." She reported, noting it in the chart. "90% effaced and at a plus 1 station. Now it says here that your contractions are about three minutes apart…. You're getting there." She said with a smile. "Maybe you could try walking again? It may speed things along."

Abby nodded as Robyn made her way alongside the bed, and with Luka's help, got her into an upright position. Untangling her from the scattered IV and fetal monitor wires, Luka took hold of her right side and lifted her carefully. Once she was standing, Luka slid his arm under her arms, helping to support her.

"It's coming." She cried, as another contraction washed over as they stood in the doorway. Hunching over in the pain as she moaned, Luka allowed her to bury her face in his armpit, her head pressing hard against him. "It hurts.." she cried, gripping to his shirt and tugging on it as she continued to moan.

Luka nodded and rubbed his fist up and down her back, attempting to alleviate some of the pain. She moaned again, muffling her sobs and he pressed harder, trying to comfort her.

"It will be over soon Abby." He assured her as she pulled her head away, letting go of his shirt.

"I want to go back to bed." She moaned, as he wrapped his arm around her, and they began to walk. She took small, teetering steps like a small child just learning to walk.

"Just walk for a little while, maybe it will help"

Slowly they walked down the long hallway, and turned the corner where they found the nursery. Another contraction started as they approached it, and Abby again buried her face up against Luka's body, crying out in the pain. Each contraction got longer and more painful as they walked, causing Abby to cry and moan louder each time.

"I do not hate you, I could never hate you."

"Don't say that, you don't mean it."

"I would not say it if I didn't."

"Richard use to say that, he never meant it."

"I'm not Richard, and I do mean it. I do not hate you Abby. I don't think that having an abortion is right, but I would never hate you for that."

"How do I know you're not lying? It wouldn't be the first time someone lied to me."

"You do not know, you have to trust me. I would not lie to you."

After what felt as if an eternity to her, they arrived back at her room after walking the entire ward. Standing outside the door, Luka held grip on her hand as she stood still for a moment with her eyes closed. He watched the IV bag that hung from the pole she was gripping to with her other hand, and watched at the flow of fluid ran down the tubing and into her hand.

"Do you want to go back inside?" he asked quietly as her eyes opened and she gently nodded her head. "Ok."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, daddy, but if you don't mind,
I'm only going to kiss you on the cheek this time."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right.
To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ok Abby, open up."

Closing her eyes and letting out a breath, she pressed her body down deeper into the stiff mattress. Her gown was growing bunched around her, becoming more constricting and uncomfortable as the minutes ticked away. In his chair that sat next to the bed, Luka folded one leg over the other and set an empty Styrofoam coffee cup he held in his hands aside. Watching the nurse as she pulled her gloves on, he moved his body forward and set his elbow on the armrest, supporting his head in his hand.

"She was at six the last time you checked her, right?" Luka asked as Abby kept her attention on the ceiling, pulling her head back as she chewed on her lip.

"Yup." Robyn replied, nodding as she examined her. "Alright, I'll be finished in a second."

As Abby shifted her upper body uncomfortably and let out a small gasp, Luka got to his feet and stood over her. Reading the monitor that sat besides the bed, he watched as the heart rate continually changed from one forty four to one forty five, and would then fall again back to one forty four.

"You're at eight." She finally announced as she wrote on the chart and peeled her gloves off. "You're getting close."

"I can't do this anymore." Abby whined as another contraction began. Closing her eyes as she gripped tightly to the bedrail, she allowed another, deep toned moan to escape.

"Breathe." Luka instructed as he reached to wipe her forehead. "You are doing a great job." He encouraged her.

"Don't touch me." She groaned, as her voice grew deep and angry. Pushing his hand away with her own, she locked her eyes shut again. "Get away from me."

"Abby." He protested, moving back toward her.

"I'm not kidding, don't touch me." She groaned as she snapped her head in the other direction and the contraction continued. Looking up to the nurse who nodded at him and waved her hand, he moved toward her. Looking again at Abby whose eyes were still locked shut and her face in a look of pain; he followed her outside into the hallway.

"What?" he asked as the door snapped shut behind them.

Looking up from the chart in her hands, Robyn smiled at him as another nurse raced past. "Maybe you should go to the cafeteria and get some coffee or something?" she suggested.

Shaking his head, he turned back and took hold on the doorknob in his hand. "I am going to stay with her."

"Dr. Kovac, trust me on this." She replied with a smile. "I know you want to help your wife, but I also know that when women get to the point of yelling at their husbands not to touch them; they need some space."

"I do not want to leave her." He protested.

"Only for a little while. Don't worry." She assured him. "Just give her a little time to herself. She's reaching the really difficult part now. Her contractions are much stronger and coming much more frequently now. Plus, the baby is moving lower, making her even more uncomfortable." She continued. "Go to the cafeteria, get a cup of coffee. You could use a break as well."

"What if it is time and I'm not here?"

"I promise, if she starts moving faster and you're still gone, I'll send one of the other nurses to get you. Now go."

Shaking his head again and throwing his arms into the air he finally agreed. "Fine, I will go get a cup of coffee." He sighed.

"Good." Robyn replied. "I'll tell Abby."

Watching as the blond haired nurse disappeared back into the hospital room, Luka fell back against the wall and stood for a moment. Staring ahead for a moment, debating whether or not to go back into the room, he finally pushed himself to his feet again and walked toward the elevator.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

All the precious time ... Like the wind, the years go by
Precious butterfly ... Spread your wings and fly

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Walking through the hallway toward the cafeteria, the smell of the hospital was strong and unfamiliar to Luka. As he walked, he felt odd, almost as if he weren't actually there. The day he had been waiting for for what seemed as if an eternity had arrived.

He stood staring into the coffee cup as the brown liquid dripped into it slowly. Watching as it swirled down, causing the level to rise, his hands grew warm from the heat escaping the sides. The steam rose slowly, bringing with it a slight aroma of coffee bean, waking him up, filling his senses with more excitement if it were at all possible.

"Luka?" a voice called out from a nearby table.

Looking up from the cup and breaking from his trance, Luka turned to see Kerry sitting at a nearby table. Taking the warm cup into his hands, he walked the short distance to the table where he pulled a chair out and sat down.

"Hey." Kerry greeted him, picking at a muffin that sat in front of her on a paper plate along with a container of juice. Next to the plate sat a large file of papers, scattered about, some opened and written on.

"Hi Kerry." He replied, tapping his foot impatiently.

"How's Abby doing?" she asked, setting the pen in her hand down, opening the bottle of juice.

"She is doing great." He replied, looking down to his watch as he sipped from the steaming cup. "But she needed some…"

"Space?" she suggested.

"Yeah." He replied sheepishly. Noting he had only been gone for eight or nine minutes, he sat back for a second, watching as she picked at the muffin and pieces crumbled to the plate below. As he looked on, the knot in his stomach grew larger and tighter and his legs grew warm and tingling.

"How far along is she?" she asked curiously. "You've been up there for awhile haven't you?"

"Almost sixteen hours." He replied. "But they checked her only a few minutes ago and she is eight, so maybe soon."

"Good." She said, tossing a napkin onto her tray. "Do you want this?" she offered, pointing to the unfinished muffin.

"No thank you." He mumbled, shaking his head no. "I am not hungry right now."

Kerry smiled and opened up a new pile of paper. Staring at it for a moment, she turned back to Luka who was fumbling nervously with his hands, cracking his knuckles. "How long did they tell you to leave for?" she asked.

Shrugging his shoulders, he laughed for a second. "I am not sure, Abby's nurse said to go get coffee."

"Is she yelling at you?"

"The nurse or Abby?"

"Abby." Kerry replied.

Luka smiled, happy with the fact that it was Kerry who he was talking to. Over the past two and a half years they had developed a friendly relationship. He had been the first to know about her relationship with Dr. Legaspi, he had been the one who encouraged Kerry to move forward if she loved her and not back.

"Yes. She does not want me to touch her." He replied. "So I got sent away."

Kerry laughed and shut the file of paperwork, dumping it back into a bag she was carrying, that sat by her side. "You've seen patients like that before, give her a few minutes and she'll want you back in there." She assured him. "Now, I'll have Randi put through the vacation request you wanted to start immediately after the baby was born?"

"Yes," Luka nodded. "I put in for a week if I remember."

"Ok." She replied, climbing to her feet. "We should be ok without you." She continued as she threw her trash away, and Luka followed her out of the cafeteria and down the hallway. "If you don't mind me asking, what about Abby? Has she mentioned anything about possibly returning to work?"

"I do not know." Luka replied, sipping from the coffee cup. "We have not really brought that up."

"Hey! Daddy!" a voice called as they continued to walk and Luka found himself in the ER, where Dave made a beeline for him. "So, what's the news, Abby pop that baby out yet?" he asked.

"Not yet." He replied, suddenly surrounded by more of the ER staff, all curiously asking him questions.

"Did she get the epidural?"

"How far is she?"

"Why are you down here?"

"I thought it was time."

His stomach's knot grew even larger to the point where he felt like he were going to vomit as the questions continued. He knew the ER fed on news and gossip; he just didn't like it when he and Abby were at the center of it. He did not feel like answering all of the questions, he wanted to go back upstairs.

"Dr. Weaver! Possible poisoning coming in from a daycare center!" Randi called, catching the attention of a few. "ETA is about five minutes."

Whispering a thank you under his breath, Luka became relieved when Kerry pulled the small crowd away from him to prep the trauma rooms, allowing him an escape. Walking quickly for the stairs, he dumped the now empty cup of coffee in the garbage can and took the stairs two at a time up to the fifth floor.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride room just staring at her,
she asked me what I'm thinking, and I said "I'm not sure,
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl." Then she leaned over... and gave me...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Outside, the rain continued to fall, and the thunder continued to rumble. The newscaster on the TV had said it would continue through the next day or two, bringing with it heavy downpours, deadly lightning and flash flooding. He explained it as April showers bring May flowers. It was only April 3rd, if it continued like this the May flowers would be as tall as some buildings.

"I need to push." Abby moaned later that night, as she held tightly to Luka's hand, panting as another contraction washed over. "Now!" she cried.

"I know.. on the next contraction you can." Robyn assured her, as another nurse helped her into a gown. "Page Lindmen, she should be down the hallway."

"Breathe Abby… only a little longer." Luka said, wiping her forehead again, as the nurse helped her pull her legs up.

"She'll never be ok."

"I miss you."

"Don't say that. You don't mean it, don't say it."

"I love you."

"When the next contraction starts, I want you to pull your chin to your chest ok? And keep it there as you push." The other nurse instructed.

"I'm going to kill you Luka." She cried, as she pushed his arm away. "Once this baby comes out I'm going to strangle you."

Luka nodded, smiling as she threatened him. "Ok, breathe." He instructed, familiar with hearing pregnant women scream they were going to kill their husbands.

"Ok, that one's over." Robyn said, as she set herself up near Abby's bottom. "On the next one Abby, you can push ok?"

Abby nodded as she turned her head, Luka leaning down to kiss her again. Another nurse pushed through the door as she did, flashing a quick smile at Abby before taking her place next to the bed, pulling gloves on her dark hands.

"Remember what I said, keep your chin on your chest and push hard. Stay focused ok?"

"Was Dr. Lindmen paged?"

"Yes, she'll be here soon."

"Oh god." Abby cried as another contraction began, and she squeezed Luka's hand tight.

"Ok, Abby… push." The new nurse instructed, as she and Robyn pulled her legs back, Luka counting out loud.

"1..2..3..4..5"

"Keep going.."

"6..7..8..9..10." Luka finished, as Abby let out a gasp and fell back against the pillow.

"We can't have a baby."

"We could try Abby."

"No, I can't have a baby. I can't be a mother."

"I will help you, we could do it."

"No, we couldn't. I couldn't."

"Good, now do it again." Robyn instructed, holding her leg. "Go."

"1..2..3..4.."

"It hurts." Abby cried, as her face turned a deep red color, and she moaned loudly, pushing hard. "Please…."

"Ok, breathe."

Abby let out a gasp as the contraction ended and they released her legs. Closing her eyes, she heard the door open again and this time Dr. Lindmen strolled in, and the nurses quickly helped her into a gown. Luka watched as she did so, and felt his stomach pull into a tighter knot. He felt he were spinning, none of it felt real to him. He was afraid it was a dream and he would wake up, something he never wanted to happen.

"How are you doing Abby?" she asked, as she took a seat on a small stool at the end of the bed. "Don't worry… it will all be over soon."

Luka smiled and kissed Abby's forehead as another contraction started and she started to push again.

"Good Abby.. keep going.. push harder.."

"Abby, you can do it." Luka coached, as she squeezed his hand harder, turning it a sickish shade of purple. "Push Abby."

"Shut up." She cried, pushing harder. "I can't do this…."

"Yes you can." Luka coached, as she continued to push. "Abby, you have done so much already.. you can do anything."

"7..8..9.." the nurse counted, pushing back on Abby's legs. "Ok, again.."

"1..2..3… harder.."

"Keep your chin on your chest… ok good… keep pushing.."

"6.. almost there.. good. Take deep breath, try and relax before we start again."

"Jesus.." she sighed, pulling on her pillow as the pain subsided and started again almost immediately. "Not.."

"Again, come on.. 1..2..3.." the nurse coached, as Luka continued to cheer her on.

"Good Abby."

"6..7.. keep going. Keep that chin down."

"I hate you!" she growled at Luka, who nodded without a response, as the nurse continued counting.

"Go away."

"I can't go away."

"I'm not worth it Luka."

"Do not say that."

"I've never been worth it, everyone knows that. Just go."

"Push." The doctor yelled, as Abby's grip suddenly grew tighter around Luka's hand, pulling his fingers closer together than he thought possible. Her body began burning, and she felt she was being torn in two separate pieces, almost as if someone were slicing her with a large saw.

"Oh god." She cried as the tears started, the pain becoming greater and greater. "Get it out." She moaned, taking a deep breath as she pushed again.

"5..6…7"

"The baby's crowning." The doctor announced, as Abby collapsed against her pillow, the sweat beads pouring down her skin. She let out a loud moan, gasping for air as Luka let go of her hands and leaned down over her legs.

"Abby.." he whispered, as he leaned over. He looked between her legs and felt his stomach drop, as his heartbeat again grew faster and his eyes burned. The realness of what was happening around him suddenly hit him. He was becoming a father again. This was no longer a dream. This wasn't just him, watching Abby's stomach grow, touching it and feeling the movement within it. During the past 9 months, it had been movement, but now it was a person.

"Give me your hand." Robyn instructed, pulling Abby's hand down, brushing it lightly against the baby's head. "That's your baby."

"Oh god." Abby gasped as she struggled for air. It suddenly became so much more real for her as well. Looking down to Luka who was still staring, as his face grew red and the glassy look covered his eyes, it hit home. That was her baby, Luka's baby. That was a person who she would be holding in her arms in only a few minutes. It would have a face, and a name.

"Here comes another one." Dr. Lindmen announced, as she watched the monitor. "Take a deep breath, and push." She instructed, as they aided Abby in lifting herself up again, as she began to push. "Harder.. get mad at this baby Abby."

Luka moved up and grabbed Abby's hand once again as his eyes locked in a gaze between her legs. "Abby, oh god Abby you are doing so good." He cried, as he watched her, her face growing redder as she pushed. "Abby."

"Keep pushing.."

"4..5..6..7.."

"Get it out!" she cried, as she felt the baby moving slowly. "Damn it just get it out!"

Her eyes were wide open as she pushed, her grip growing tighter and tighter around Luka's hand. Her body trembled as she did, the nurse's hands locked tight around her feet, holding her legs back with great force.

"The head is coming… it'll be out in a minute." the doctor said.

Luka swallowed hard as he watched what was happening. He watched as Abby pushed, feeling her body shake as she did. He watched as the doctor told her to push harder, and watched as the baby's head slid slowly out. The red blood that came, and then the head. He saw the forehead, and urged Abby to push harder. He listened as she took another breath, and felt as she started pushing again, her body trembling uncontrollably. Then he saw the eyes appear, watched as the baby came into view. The nose appeared as Abby yelped in pain, crying out as she pushed, almost sobbing now.

"I love you Abby." He said, turning up to her and kissing her as she continued to push, brushing the hair from her face. She clenched her teeth, crying out again as he looked down and suddenly saw an entire face.

"Ok, breathe."

Abby let out a large sob and choked as she collapsed, still holding to Luka tightly.

"The head Abby." he whispered, looking down and back at her. "You are doing it."

"I can't do it anymore… I'm too tired.' She whined, her body trembling, as the exhaustion grew even more apparent in her voice. "I can't.."

"He took a part of me away that I'll never get back."

"Abby, Luka wants to help, you know you can trust him."

"I don't need help, and I don't need therapy."

"Yes you can." Luka replied, leaning over her, gripping to her hand. "Abby, you are doing such a great job. It is almost over."

"I can't."

"Listen to me." He instructed, looking her straight in the face. "You are doing the most amazing thing in the world Abby. I do not now how you can do it because I know I never could. But you are doing it; you have carried our baby for 9 months now. You said that you wouldn't make it through those months, but you did it. You said that you would not make it through so many things and you did. You can do it."

"It hurts so much," she cried, as the pain started again. "I can't.."

"Abby, you can do it. I can see our baby, you are doing it."

"This is it Abby. I know it's hard.." Dr. Lindmen said, looking up at her. "You've been pushing for a long time now, I know you're tired. But I promise, if you give me one good push, this will all be over. Now push."

Abby moaned as Luka helped prop her up and let out a cry as she pushed again. Her grip grew tighter and tighter on Luka's hand until his hand went numb, but he ignored it. He stood besides her, coaching her as she pushed, watching as the baby slowly slid out.

"You're almost there… push hard Abby.. get angry."

"6..7..8…9"

"Harder.. harder."

Luka gasped as Abby let out one last huge scream before she collapsed against the pillow, and the wails of a baby filled the room. Falling into the pillow, all of the pain was suddenly gone as she listened to the crying, and she looked down between her legs.

"You have a daughter." Robyn announced, as Abby let out a choking sob, and the tears began to fall again.

"You did it." Luka whispered, as he watched the doctor lift the baby onto Abby's chest, her legs kicking around as she cried. He felt his face grow warm as he watched, looking down at the baby. He could feel his body begin to tremble, and felt himself ready to cry. He swallowed hard and his smile grew so wide it hurt. "Oh Abby.." he whispered quietly, as every person and everything in the room vanished aside from Abby and the baby that lay, screaming on her chest.

"Is she ok?" she asked quietly, as the nurses began wiping the baby off with towels, pulling on her legs as they wiped her clean.

"She seems perfect." Dr. Lindmen replied, looking up to them. "She sure can cry."

"Hi." Luka whispered as he rubbed one of the small hands between his thumb and middle finger, staring at the baby as she continued to cry, her mouth opening wide as she did.

"I think dad can cut the cord." Robyn offered, handing Luka the scissors. He took them into his hands and snipped them around the cord, as he looked to Abby, whose pinkie was already wrapped in the crying girls small hand.

"Luka.." Abby whispered, staring at the baby, kissing the top of her head as she squirmed around.

"She's beautiful." He whispered, leaning in close, touching her bright pink skin, as her legs and arms wailed around, her sobs turning into small whimpers. "10 fingers and 10 toes….you did it Abby." He said, kissing her deeply, brushing the hair from her forehead.

"She's ok?" she asked again, touching her feet so carefully, as if she were afraid she would shatter into millions of pieces.

"Perfect." Luka whispered back.

"Sorry you two, but I need to take her now." Robyn whispered, leaning over to take the baby. "But I promise as soon as we get you both cleaned up we'll bring her back."

Abby nodded, wiping her face with her hand, as she kissed the baby again. "Luka, go with her." She said, taking a deep breath.

"Are you sure?" he asked, watching as they carried the baby over to the waiting incubator, and wrapped her in a blanket, pulling a small hat over her head.

She nodded, brushing the tears away again. "Go with her. I'll be ok."

Luka smiled, leaning over to kiss her again. "I love you."

Abby laughed softly, pushing her head into his shoulder. "I love you too."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Butterfly kisses, with her mama there
sticking little flowers all up in her hair
"Walk me down the aisle, daddy, it's just about time"
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, daddy?" "Daddy, don't cry."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"6 pounds, 6 ounces." The nurse announced, as she lifted the crying baby into her arms and over to the incubator in the corner of the nursery. Placing her inside, she grabbed the tape measure from the nearby counter and held it out next to her, as Luka stood on the other side, stroking the baby's head with his thumb. "18 inches long."

He nodded and grinned, as the baby let out a loud wail, and her legs scrunched up against her body as the nurse released them. "Shh.." he soothed her, continuing to stroke her head as the nurse wrapped her tightly up in a blanket, making sure it was secure around her. "May I hold her now?" he asked quietly, staring down at her as she continued to wail.

The nurse smiled and nodded as she lifted her up and placed her carefully into Luka's outstretched arms. The weight of her instantly filled his arms, filling a void he felt had been empty for so long. He felt he were out of breath as he stared down at her, almost as if he had just run a marathon. He struggled to catch his breath as her left eye opened and she locked her gaze with his, her cries ceasing to low whimpers.

"She was raped."

"Do they know who did it?"

"They're looking Luka. Go in and sit with her."

"How bad is it?"

"Just go sit with her, hold her hand. She'll know you're there."

"Oh god." He whispered, rocking her back and forth in his arms, holding her as close as he could. He turned behind him and sat carefully in a rocking chair that sat nearby, pulling his head down, closer to her. She had quieted down and was dozing off, her eyes locked tightly shut. Leaning over, he kissed her small cheek, her skin so soft it seemed surreal. "My baby." He whispered, his eyes staring at her sleeping face, unable to move.

"Your wife is in her room Dr. Kovac." A new nurse whispered, as she attached a small pink card to the bassinet that stood in front of his. He read it quickly, seeing it read Baby Girl Kovac, along with her weight, length, time she was born and the doctor who had delivered her.

"Lets go see mommy." He whispered, slowly getting to his feet, his arms locked protectively around the small bundle in his arms. He placed the baby gently in the bassinet, and stepped back as the nurse began wheeling it from the nursery. He opened the door for her, allowing her through, and walked alongside her the whole way, never removing his gaze from the bassinet.

"Abby?" he called quietly, as they pushed through the doorway. He looked to the bed, where Abby sat, propped up by many pillows, her hair damp and pushed behind her ears.

Her face lit up as they entered the room, the nurse pushing the incubator right up alongside the bed. As Luka took his place next to Abby on the other side, the nurse lifted the baby and placed her into Abby's arms, moving the IV wires out of the way.

"You can keep her as long as you want." She said with a smile, before leaving the room. "The post-partum nurse will be in soon to show you how to breastfeed."

Abby nodded without a reply as the nurse left, leaving her alone with Luka and the baby. She stared down at the small bundle in her arms and smiled, as Luka leaned over and kissed her forehead, setting his body next to hers, on the end of the bed.

"Is she ok?" Abby whispered quietly, adjusting the blanket around the baby, as one of her little hands escaped the confines of the cloth and poked out.

Luka nodded, adjusting his body as Abby dropped her head, allowing it to rest on his shoulder. "She is perfect." He replied, reaching over and taking the sleeping baby's hand into his own. "She has your eyes Abby." He whispered, rubbing her skin with his thumb.

Abby laughed, looking down at her sleeping face. "Maybe."

Luka smiled and moved closer to Abby. They both sat in silence for a minute, looking as the baby's mouth opened to yawn, and her eyes fluttered open slowly, and then closed again.

"That's a good, strong heartbeat."

"Does it look healthy?"

"So far everything looks great. Steady heartbeat, good size. You're about fourteen weeks I'd estimate."

"We need to name her." Luka said, as he turned his focus to Abby, the huge grin still spread across his face.

Abby nodded silently as she continued to stare at the baby, and then turned to look at Luka. "Do you still want to use the name we talked about?" she asked, as Luka adjusted his grip on the baby's hand.

"Do you?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

"Yeah." She mumbled softly, playing gently with the baby's hat. "Luka, how could I have never wanted this?" she asked, looking from the baby in her arms to Luka who was grinning from ear to ear. "I never wanted a baby, and now I've only had her for less than an hour and I can't imagine not having or wanting her."

He chuckled softly as he kissed her forehead again, looking back down to the baby. "I told you; you wouldn't be scared anymore." He replied. "She is ours to keep and you did everything perfectly." He continued as the baby slowly opened her eyes again, holding her focus above her. "So we are going to use the name?" he asked quietly, rubbing his thumb over the baby's hand again.

Abby nodded and lifted her arm slightly, holding the baby closer to Luka. "Hi Karina." She whispered, listening to the familiar sound of the rain pattering down outside. Wrapping her arm tighter around her, she smiled slightly and swallowed. Staring down into her dark brown eyes, she watched as the baby held them open, looking back up to her, opening her mouth slightly and closing it repeatedly.

"You look like your mom." He said, as he hovered over Abby, tickling her feet gently as the blanket loosened, and a flap fell over to the side. "Yeah, you have her eyes."

"You're sure she's ok?" Abby asked again, afraid that she would receive a new answer of no each time she asked.

"Abby, she is fine." He replied, assuring her once again. "Except that she is as bald as Dr. Romano is." He whispered with a small chuckle.

Laughing as she looked up, she couldn't reply for a moment. "Oh don't say that." She replied lightly. "That's horrible." She finished with a smile.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses
I couldn't ask God for more. Man, this is what love is.
I know I've gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The minutes ticked slowly away, each second passing, feeling more like hours or days. Time had stopped, as had the world in his opinion. All of his cares and worries were no longer outside of the hospital room he sat in, where he sat next to the hospital bed in a rocking chair. Abby was fast asleep in the bed next to him, her face in a more calm and peaceful state than he had remembered seeing in months. The blanket was pulled high on her body, and her head supported by two thick pillows.

"We would love it no matter what."

"You wouldn't be responsible for making it sick."

"Abby, it does not matter. We could have a baby."

"No we can't."

Luka held the baby in his arms, slowly rocking her back and forth as she too slept. The hospital blanket with County General embroidered in one small corner was wrapped tightly around her, and the soft pink hat sat on her head, keeping her warm. He listened carefully to each small breath she took, and each she exhaled, feeling as if he didn't they would no longer continue and something would happen. He never wanted to let go of her, holding her in his arms kept him complete. It had been less than twelve hours since she was born, and he loved her more than he felt possible already. He was in a complete state of euphoria, unaware of any of his surroundings or people near him.

"Luka?" another familiar voice called in a loud whisper, poking their head through the heavy door.

Turning his head, he found Maggie standing in the doorway with an armload of flowers and at least a dozen balloons in her hands. She stood still, unsure of if she was welcome to come in, or if it would be ok with him.

Nodding at her, he watched as she moved through and allowed the door to shut behind her, dragging everything with her. Allowing the balloons to float to the ceiling and setting the flowers next to the other bouquets set around the bed area, she hurried over to Luka and peered down into his arms.

"Look at her!" she cooed, looking down to the baby who was still fast asleep. "Oh, what's her name?" she asked excitedly, looking up to Abby whose face was facing them.

"Karina." He replied, looking up to Maggie.

"Does she have a middle name?" she asked. "Oh, Luka she's beautiful."

"Theresa." He replied quietly. "How did you get here so quickly?"

"I took the bus." She whispered, reaching out to touch the baby. "I love that name." She commented. "I left right after you called."

Nodding without a reply, he cradled the baby closer to his body and looked back down to her. Swallowing loudly, he adjusted the blanket around her again, still amazed at what he was doing. Thoughts of Jasna and Marko filled his head, remembering how he had held them after they had been born, filled with sadness over missing their births but excitement at seeing them for the first time.

"Can I hold her?" Maggie asked, looking hopefully to Luka who stared back and slowly managed to nod.

Handing her the baby, he felt unable to let go. He hadn't wanted to, he wanted to sit and hold her, rock her while Abby slept. Holding her close to him in his own arms made him feel he could protect her, from whatever problems no matter how large or small.

"Well look at you." Maggie whispered as she gathered the baby, blankets and all into her arms. "Aren't you pretty."

Watching as Maggie took the baby into her arms, Luka's own heart seemed to grow larger in his chest, and his breath engulfed him. He couldn't come to terms that he was watching his daughter. That baby in Abby's mother's arms was his; he had helped to create her. It was hard to imagine he was watching Maggie holding her as well; she was nothing like the Maggie he had been introduced to that day back in November. The Maggie that stood in front of him was calm, caring, and mother like. She stood staring down at his daughter, whispering words to her, smiling down at her and touching her skin with her own fingers.

"Luka?" another voice whispered sleepily, as he turned to see Abby staring over at him. "Where's the baby?" she asked quietly, as her eyes opened wider and she rubbed her eyes with her hands.

"Oh Abby." Maggie called from across the room as she slowly walked over, carrying Karina with her. "She's beautiful."

"Mom." Abby sighed, looking up to her as she stood alongside the bed next to Luka. Extending her arms, she carefully took the baby from Maggie into her own arms and leaned back as she began fussing. "Shh.. Karina.' She whispered.

"Hi Abby." She greeted her, moving closer. "She got your eyes."

Smiling at Abby amused, Luka whispered a low I told you so as the cries grew louder and she rocked the baby. With Maggie looking on, as Luka climbed onto the bed, sitting next to her she took a seat in the chair next to them. Slowly the baby's face grew red and her mouth opened wide as her cries escaped, growing more and more high pitched as they continued.

"Maybe she's hungry?" Maggie suggested, peering over the bed where Luka eyed Abby.

"Do you want to feed her?" Luka asked, picking the baby hat from where it had just dropped onto Abby's lap.

"No, I can't." she protested quietly.

"Yes you can." he assured her. "The nurse showed you how before. Besides, you have shown hundreds of women how."

"No, I can't do it myself." She again replied.

"You can try." He suggested as Maggie nodded in agreement. "If you really can't, I will go get the nurse."

"Luka.." she whispered, as the baby continued fussing.

"Just hold her." He replied. "Like that, just do what the nurse said and you know." He continued.

Helping her pull the gown down, he sat watching as she attempting to nurse the baby. Maggie sat nearby, saying nothing, unsure if Abby wanted her to stay or if she should wait outside, or somehow try to help. She turned to the sea of flowers that surrounded the bed, carefully picking at tags to read whom they were from. She realized a few names from her times in Chicago; times she knew Abby wanted to forget all together. Carter, Jing-Mei, Lydia and Haleh.

"No, I can't do it." Abby repeated again.

"Keep going, you are doing it." He encouraged her. "There, like that." He whispered. "See, you know how."

Leaning in to kiss her forehead, he kept his head close to hers as he watched, as listened like he had been since he first held her in his arms. Staring at Abby, and Karina, he suddenly felt whole again. His whole family, everything he felt he would ever need was within an arms length, all-sitting right in front of him.

Sitting in the bed, Abby swallowed as she watched Karina nurse, and looked up to Luka who was staring down at them. Then she turned to Maggie who was watching them all and who flashed Abby a smile and mouthed the words I love you. Three words that had never meant anything from her in so many years, but now meant something to Abby.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.
"Walk beside the pony, daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, daddy, but I sure tried."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

08/30/01