Warning: This fic is very dangerous to read because it makes no sense. For your own safety, do not try to understand it.
Splinter sat all by himself in the kitchen eyeing a very big piece of cheese. He drooled at the sitght. Splinter looks around the lair to make sure that there wasn't a turtle in sight. He was embarssed by this addiction to cheese.
"Good, they're still not back from having pizza." He looks at the very tempting cheese and picks it up with his hands.
A thought comes to his mind.
"If I ever defeat that Shredder for good, I'll enslave him as a cheese shredder." Splinter laughs at his own joke.
"Now you will die with honor, cheese." Splinter was just about ready to take a bite when he was surprised by the sound of four very noisy turtles.
"Damn." He muttered but he didn't say it quietly enough because Leonardo overheard him.
"MASTER SPLINTER!!" Leonardo said with surprise.
"What?" Splinter gave him a look "I can swear if I wanna ya little prick."
Just then, a GIANT cheeze monster entered the lair and stole Splinter's Cheeze
"THAT'S MINE!" Splinter Shouted.
"I strike in the name of poor defenseless cheezes EVERYWHERE!" The purple cheeze monster shouted.
Leo was about to ask why everyone was shouting, but Rat-man interupted him "TURTLES! ATTACK!"
"WHAT, YOU THINK WE'RE YOUR POKEMON OR SOMETHING?"
"Umm..Yeah, I did..that's what I raised you for."
The purple cheeze monster stands there tapping his foot. "Can we get on with this already?"
"WILL YOU JUST GET OFF MY BACK!! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE!" Splinter Shouted.
"This conversion is over master." Leo takes his two pointy swords out. "I'll show you Shredder." Leo cuts up Splinter into little pieces.
Mikey cried. "Why are you crying Mikey?" Raph said "He was just a big pain anyway, he always bossed us around!"
"I'm crying cuz I'm the sensitive one you dumbass!" Mike smacked Raph in the back of the head.
"OW!" Raph yelled and drew his sai "NOW YOU DIE!"
He stabbed at Mike, but it missed, and he stabbed Don instead.
Don looked at the sai sticking out of his arm, then at Raph "Ow, that hurt you know." Don takes the sai out of his arm.
"HELLO!?! I'M STILL HERE." said the ignored red cheese monster.
"Oh, sorry about that. Raph will you take care of him already?" Raph smiles evilly.
"I'm April O'Neil." April O'Neil says proudly.
"Pizza Time!!" Mikey carries a freshly made pizza out.
"Mmmm..this is good pizza Mikey."
"Well, I can't take all the credit, I mean we all helped make it."
"Yo dudes what's happening!!" said Vernon
"This is!" said Venus. Venus whaps Vernon in the back of the head. Vernon disappears in a puff of smoke.
"Why'd you do that, Venus?"
"He was grossly out of character."
"Really, Venus?"
"No. actually I did it cause I felt like it. Did I miss brunch?"
"Yes, and now you shall die for that." Raph lunges forward and trips and falls on the couch and dies.
"Did you ever notice that Raph talks in second person about himself?"
"No, Donatello did not notice that. For Donatello never talks in third person."
Everyone gave Don a look "Don't do that." Splinter said " You're giving me the creeps."
"The creeps?" April said "That's my job. For I am April O'Neil. I work at channel six news and only I can give you the creeps. If somebody else gave you the creeps then they aren't April O'Neil and since I was the one that did then I must be April O'Neil. That's because I'm April O'Neil. It was I who gave you the creeps and since i gave you the creeps then that would mean that I'm April O'Neil and I know this because I'm April O'Neil. Did I mention that I'm April O'neil?" April gives them the creeps because she is April O'Neil.
"Where did April go?"
"She has been kidnapped by the Shredder!" Mwahahahaha!!" Raphael hits Mikey.
"Shutup dork!"
"Ow!"
At this point, Everyone disapeared in a poof of smoke and confused the audience into thinking the fic was over, but it was NOT!
At that moment, a song blared across the lair and Hit Leonardo in the head. "OW!" and then the CD came OUT of the song and decapitated him.
Just then, the rug that Venus was standing on moved.
"What is that song doing flying around?" Vernon asked, attempting to sit up from under Venus.
Venus starts to beat the rug. "Damn it! Why won't this rug die already?"
Vernon suddenly dies of a Cankor sore. This is a very contagious one that Venus catches too. She throws it across the room and it hits Leo head. His head dies.
"You were nothing but a stupid head anyways." Venus said as she kicked Leo's head.
A dark figure creeped around the lair.
"Looks!! It's gridlock!" said Leo.
"Does he ever shutup?" said Raph.
Gridlock came up behind Venus and and scared her to death since she didn't know who the heck he was.
A little creepling jumped onto Gridlocks head and bit him hard until he ran away.
"He stole my creeping bit!" the lil creepling said.
"I didn't know creeplings could talk" Donatello commented.
"I am April O'Neil, and the CREEPING thing is my bit. It is April O'Neil's bit to creep people out. Being that I am April O'Neil, it is my bit."
"Bit? Hey!! I'm the one that got eaten, remember?" Splinter said.
"And you were very tasty, Master." said Mikey.
"Splinter flavored Pizza! Yum!"
"Since when does Venus like Pizza?"
"Since now, shut up, don't make me throw a pong pong ball at you."
"Ping"
"Pong"
"Ping"
"Pong"
"Ping"
"Pong"
"Ping"
"Pong"
"Ping"
"Pong"
"Ping"
"Pong"
"IRC? Donnie, are you lurking online again? What did I tell you about using the phone line?"
"You said that if I'm ever wasting my time online that I should never lurk and always talk about porno."
"And...?"
Don sighs. "And to always endorse your porno flicks."
"Thats right!! Now I shall punish you for disobeying me." Splinter takes off his Kimono. Don dies from shock.
Everyone ignores Splinter, so he puts his clothes back on.
"Ummm..Where's Mikey?" Don asked.
Everybody looked around including Gridlock.
"I found him." said Mikey
"Where is Mikey, Mikey?"
"He's in the oven experimenting with a new flavor for a pizza."
"Ohhhh..sounds tempting. What kind of pizza?"
"Michaelangelo flavored." Mikey said proudly
"Ummm...it smells like it's burning."
They pulled the pizza out of the oven. Raph pokes Mikey with his sai and he crumbles to pieces.
"A little to over done there, Mikey."
"I guess so."
Ok, this is where we pull you away from the fic, cuz this is the fic that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend, two crazy people started writing it, knowing exactly how evil it was, and they'll continue writing it forever just because this is the fic that doesn't end, you will read it forever, you started reading it not knowing how evil it was and you'll continue reading it forever just because this is the evil fic that never ends...could this mean that there will be a sequel?
E-mail us if you want a sequel or to end the evillness. Of course it really doesn't matter what you think because we'll do whatever we want Mahahahahaha!!
Surprisingly enough there is a sequel! Run for your lives!