My name is Raphael. There's nothing much to me. I'm a mutant turtle. I've have lived 18 years and I'm going to die. There, I said it blunt and simple. I'm going to die. I didn't feel like it when Donatello told me but now I do. I'm dying of cancer. My chances of living are very little. What made me mad was the fact that I couldn't get treatment for it because I'm a mutant. I'm an outcast to society. I don't know any human that can help me.
I remember the day Donnie sat down with me and told me there was nothing he could do. He didn't have the resources or the knowledge to save me. He told me that I was probably going to die. Of course he was down toning it for me. The truth is I am going to die. I didn't want to believe him. I was so furious. Now I have to focus on living my life to the fullest. Taking it one day at a time and preparing for that fateful day.
I went through a lot of changes to deal with dying. Some were terrifying and others made me see life in a different way. It was a way that I had never seen life before. There were days when I was so angry at the world and other days when I felt sorry about myself. Now I feel good about myself. I feel comfortable and I like who I am. I know this is weird to say but dying is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Until you have been through it, will you ever understand what I mean. I feel lucky in way, I know that I'm going to die. I can take care of all the loose ends before it's over.
"It's over," that's still weird for me to say.