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Tales of murder, mystery, magic, voodoo, neden, faygo, hatchets, axes, knives, baseball bats, crowbars, love, hate, good, evil, and uh... other stuff. These stories are all either fan fiction, or 100% original stories with themes that the Juggalos are sure to love. So getcha some Rockin' Rye, a taco or two, kick back in your smoking jacket, put on some mood music, and become enthralled in the literary perversions that only the Juggalo mind can produce!
Submitted Story by: Moth Man

WASH THE AXE
By: Moth Man


Jack was estatic about the nights happenings. Before any of the Juggalo masses left, Jack opened his doors to any and all juggalo whether introduced or not. Just address yourself as a ninja and you gots a home.

As the last ones faded into the shadows of the moon, Jack resided to the loft. He wasn’t sure what had taken place at the pizzaria. He only had one idea that was more or less a dream come true. He thought the Forces were at work. Long ago in Jack’s childhood he saw a Christian Priest around the hood doing very disturbing things. Picking uip hookers, preaching that hell isn’t all that bad, buying crack, and O.D.ing on crack and not even get a buzz. Jack was 15, juggalo since 5. A decade of the teaching of the messages put to good use. He waited until the priest went into the dark allies in the middle of the day…slit his throat and twisted his head off. Blood and a deformed hand spewed out of the decapitated body. Jack’s reflexes took in and stuffed what he pulled out into the head, and punted it away from him.

The sunlight hit it and solidified around the melon and a demon ate way its previous shell. Trying to escape from the orb of light in vain.

Jack pulled out the orb from the shrine where it was hidden. The demon still trying to free itself.

“Vanity still plaguing you ol’ salt?”

“Ssssssssssssss,” it hissed like acid,” Your words are truthfull. I have yet to understand why there is, kevfniva!”

“Shut up hell’s pawn.”

Jack set him down in the middle of the alter. The green flare came into his eyes yet again. Colors of flame and smoke swirled out of no where into 6 circles matching all 6 Joker’s Cards. 7 voices rang the air as a violently soothing bellowing out of the whispering shadows.

“Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh, Jack. King of the pumpkin patch! We have cultivated the patch work between us and you. Only through you can we come to this world. We need a bridge, more like a sacrifice of the dead in order for us to rein terror upon the sin of Earth. You’ll have six gifts to help you on your challenge. You’ll realize them soon enough.”

“I have one. This demon that I let ferment over the past decade or so. He is yours.”

“It’s not ours to torment…we will have fun with it on its way back. We have no need for penance or prayers.”

“Thank you. Now what is my mission?”

“For generations we have sensed millions of souls not getting to their resting place because of miss conceptions of their own faith. Unleash the ones you can find, we shall do the rest. Any one who will aid you may be accepted. Other than the ones who know of us may know the mission. Others must be left in the dark.”

“I understand. What shall aid me.

“Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.”, the flames shot out and hit Jack in multipul places. Only 5 he felt. “Guises of choice, see the sin, hear the tounge, tempt the wind, Death your friend you must know…”

CAW CAW! SMASH! Tinkle tinkle. An over sized crow flew into the room and rested on his shoulder.

“…and your pet, the crow.”

The demon called to Jack. “Jaxxxxxxxx!…….I’m sorry. It was my only function in creation!”

“I know. But I have learned to give mercy where it’s needed. Other words avoided.”

As the demon and Orb caught on fire from the heat of the flames, all the light flashed and was gone. Everything unchanged exept for the crow and a few articles and feelings and senses that Jack now possessed.

“Well, looks like you and I are gonna have a little fun aren’t we.”

The crow cocked its head and Jack saw the same little glare of green light that Jack has in the crows eyes..

Next time:
The Beginning.

 

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