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Val: OH MY GOD BLIPS!!
Me: Geezuz Val, you scared the crap out of me. What?
Val:Did you HEAR?
Me: (thinking bomb threat, internet server went down, restaurant week was cancelled) Hear what????
Val: Tom and Nicole broke up.
Me: …who?—(Pause)…..NO WAY!
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At that moment, I knew that the whole “love is forever” thing was a bunch of baloney. If Tom and Nicole couldn’t make it work, I sure as hell couldn’t.
Long-term couples tend to become a beacon of hope and stability for the chaotic lives of those around them. And once that couple’s façade of stability and permanence ends, everyone’s life is disrupted and they sit around asking each other, “Why? What happened? How come?”
The minute John and I broke up, it was the front page story and it spread like wildfire.
Amid sorting out the wreckage of our relationship and lingering feelings of love, we were holding press conferences at family and friend gatherings. Rumors circulated about who cheated on who, or who wronged who. Fictional third characters were added to our relationship: some guy I had fallen in love with, some girl he had met on the train…a jealous gay lover who broke us up.
Who needs The Enquirer when you got friends with big mouths?
More funny things began to happen as a result of "The Breakup": Guy friends who disappeared three years ago suddenly resurface with a new-found passion for being my best friend. They called me every nite offering their company, free drinks/dinners, and of course, their condolences. Each one had their own interpretation of what had gone wrong with my entire relationship.
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Local bar party chatting with friends.
Bill: (serious look) Oh my god Blips how ARE you?
Me (turning around) Oh Bill hey, long time no see. I’m good, how are you?
Bill(leaning over) hey listen…I HEARD what happened…
Me…what? what happened?
Bill About you and John!
Me Oh. Geesh. We just broke up YESTERDAY. How did you hear about it?
Bill (sly smile) Through the grapevine.
Me: wow. Thats some grapevine...
Bill Well I saw it coming anyways.
Me:Oh really?
Bill:Come on girl, I’ll buy you a shot…or maybe four shots….plenty of fish in the sea. (wink)
