When what day it was finally sunk into his brain, he almost fell off the bunk. "Son of a...! Screw that, I'm staying in!"

What was it about the date that had our dear Twig Boy so upset, you ask? Well, today, me lads and lassies, was Saint Patrick's Day! Now I know this is no cause of alarm for you or me, but we didn't have the last St. Patty's Day he had. Beer, leprechauns, David suspiciously knowing how to use a whip, hidden treasure... It's enough to make anyone fear this day.

"I'm just gonna go back to sleep for the rest of the day and NOTHING weirder than normal will happen. Yeah, that's it. I'm fine." Spot blissfully closed his eyes.

Out of nowhere came a small thumping sound which made the bed shake. Then it felt like something was crawling up his chest. Felt too big to be a common wood spider. 'Uh...could just be a rat.' Spot's heart stopped. 'A RAT?!' His eyes snapped open to look into dark, beady ones of something else's.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!" The thing toppled backwards and clear off the bunk. "OW! Fer the love 'a Mike!"

Spot paused, his heart pounding in his chest. He knew that voice. 'Oh no. Nooooo, no, no, please NO!' He slowly peered over the edge to look at a very small and plump man dressed in green.

The man glared up at him on his back, unable to sit himself upright. "Ya know, brushin' yer teeth might help with that breath o' yers."

"Why on earth are you here?! I didn't drink ANY beer today, I don't deserve this!"

"What? You think you saw a leprechaun because ye had some 'a Tibby's bad beer? Ha! I'se true blue, er, green, boy-o," the leprechaun smiled, finally rolling with enough momentum to stand again. He watched Spot bang his head against a bedpost curiously. "Uh...riiight. Anyway, I'm here to repay ya! You and yer friends showed me such a good time in yer land last year, I decided to come back an' show you mine!"

Spot only had time to lift his bruised head from the bedpost and utter an intelligent "Huh?" before his surroundings changed completely. His bunkbed now stood alone in a vast field of nothing but bright green grass.

"Ooh! David, David, look! It's the elf again!"

Okay...so he wasn't so much alone now as that statement had sounded. Jack and David were gawking from their seat on the ground and Les was bouncing and hugging his leprechaun friend.

"Aaah!" Smack. Thud. Les had a seat on the ground now too. "Ya twit! You've gotten stupider since I last laid me eyes on ya! I'm not an elf, I be a l-e-p-r-e-c-h-a-u-n!" He spoke slow enough for the little boy to understand. Les just looked as blank as ever.

During this entertaining scene, Spot had noticed something. "Hey, Mouth? Um, whattaya doing in Jack's lap?"

"Nothing!" they shouted in unison and leapt apart, both wearing looks equal to kids caught with their hands in a cookie jar. David, as always, put his smarts to good use.

"Don't ask US. Ask HIM, he brought us here." He pointed to the leprechaun smiling at them. A very eerie smile.

"C'mon, c'mon! Spot, me boy, ye can't stay hidden away in yer bed all day. Get down and let's be on our way."

"It'd help if I had some clothes, ya know."

He looked at Spot only clad in his underwear. "Oh. You'll hafta forgive me." Spot was instantly dressed in the finest of blindingly green Irishman's clothing. So were the others actually.

Jack spun in circles to find his old clothes. "Hey now! The three of us were already dressed, buddy!" He looked at the others. "And green is SO not Dave's color."

"Thanks, Jack."

"Oh, stop yer whining and come wit me. I do and do for you kids, and what's the thanks that I get? Why, in my day..."

The four boys fell in step behind him, wondering just how they had died and why they deserved to be in Hell. And who knew Satan was so short?

"...As sure as me name is Bryan Woodlock, I'll never understand these kids today."

They almost fell over at that. Les smiled in wonder, "You have a name?" The newly named leprechaun stared at him.

"Tell me, after ye were born backwards, did they drop ya too?"

"Uh..."

"Mm hmm. I'm gonna stop askin' you questions."

They soon arrived in a small town that was in the middle of celebration. Shouts of joy and laughter was a constant noise over the crowd. Children chased each other and paper snakes with sticks, dozens were dancing to music by a small band, there was food on a table and beer in a barrel.

A young man offered a cup to Spot and he quickly gulped it down. 'Maybe if I drink enough, a pink elephant will fall from the sky and crush Bryan.' Les ran off to play with the children and voluntarily get beaten with sticks. It's just too easy for that child. Bryan lightly step danced to a tune.

Jack and Davey just stood there taking it all in until a pretty redhead girl smiled at the former. "Would ye like ta dance wit me a wee bit, stranger?" Jack was about to nod, quite vigorously, but Dave smiled at the girl politely and interrupted.

"I'm sorry, miss, but he's spoken for." He turned to glare at Jack.

"Whaaat? Sarah would never hafta know and I doubt she'd care if I just DANCED with her!" His friend glared harder. "Oh."

The girl sighed, "Too bad. Shame, such a handsome boy bein' tied down like that," and danced away. Jack whimpering after her absence.

"Handsome?" Dave snorted, "That settles it; the Irish really do drink too much."

Jack started grumbling when the two felt someone poking them, and then, "Boo!" They turned on their heels to face another girl. This time a familiar brunette.

"Ack!" David jumped back a bit.

"Well, hel-lo, sweetheart."

"Jack, snap out of it, it's ME!" She smacked him upside the head.

"Wisecracks?!"

"And Bingo was his name-o."

Jack recoiled in horror, "I just used my sexy voice on 'Crackers! Why, God, why?"

Both Cracks and Dave rolled their eyes and said, "You don't have a sexy voice," while Cracks added, "And I'd like to ask God that myself."

Jack just sulked as Dave asked the inevitable, "What are YOU doing here?"

She smiled innocently--or as innocent as she could look anyway. "What, you want me to miss all this fun? I'm spending the hour writing this pathetic thing, I should at least enjoy myself!"

"Oh. Of course. It's all clear now," he replied in a flat tone then walked over to snatch Spot's eighth beer away and chug it.

"Hey! It's Wiseass!"

"Yeah, nice to see you too, Twiggy. Now I think it's about time we wrap this up. Oh, Bryan darling!" She waved to the leprechaun, bringing to an end he and the town's game of Step Dance On Les. "Time to give my typing fingers a rest, hun."

Bryan dragged a trampled but somehow still smiling like an idiot Les over to the group. "Aye, lass. Have ye had fun, boys?"

"NO!"

"YES! I wanna do it again!"

The three teenagers glared at Les. Spot just had to ask, "Um, are we gonna be put through this again next year?" Bryan shrugged and pointed to the author, who was pausing to look into another favorite fandom at the moment.

"Depends on if The Powers That Be kick her in the pants hard enough to get 'er motivated. With yer luck, though, I'd surely bet on it." He grinned sympathetically at them. "Ready ta go?"

Jack raised his hand, "Hey, are we ever gonna get the rest of that gold from last time?"

In a flash, they were gone.

Wisecracks crossed her arms, "Well that was rude."

"I dun care what it was! I'm savin' me money fer Disneyland!"

Spot bolted straight up in his bed and looked around. Everything was where it was, even the sun was where he had left it: unpleasantly in his eye. 'I've gotta be sick if I dreamed all that.'

He ran a hand tiredly over his face and looked at the calendar. Pinned onto the box for St. Patrick's Day was a four-leaf clover.

"Oh for the love of Mike..."