Don't misunderstand me, it's just, I had this crazy idea that when I found where I was destined to be, I would know it. It's strange...I'd lived in countless places, logging each one in an old leather notebook that I kept with me all the time, but it really wasn't the places I remembered, it was the feelings I had while I was there.

When I was about 14, I stayed in a little town called Kalipsa, which was in Arizona. I didn't really remember the place itself, I remembered the smell of the air and how thick it was in my lungs, or the taste of the lemonade as it trickled down my parched throat. I never remembered the taste. I lived in Kalipsa for two months, then I moved on.

That was three years ago, now I'm in a little town called Besta, North Carolina. It's a tiny little town where everyone knows everything about everyone else, which is exactly why I don't get along here very well. I've been here for nearly five weeks and I am already quite tired of it.

That's why I was reading the paper that morning, I was in search of a hint. A hint for a new opportunity that is. That's how I decide where to go next. I stay some place until the wind changes, and then I follow the signs that lead me to my next destination. For instance, when I headed over here, it was because of a conversation I overheard of a man talking to a waitress in a café I was eating in. He said that he had been passing through and that the food there was 'even better than in Besta'. That's when I headed that way.

I had silently thanked God when the wind changed after just five weeks. I had been worried that with the early fall weather I would be stuck in Besta for months. But it had changed just that morning and I was anxiously searching for a hint, a clue as to where my next 'home' would be. That's when I saw it, an ad stating that Manhattan, New York was looking for factory girls due to the fact that many of the old girls had left for better jobs and working conditions, which meant they were desperate, which meant high pay. "Maybe this is the opportunity I've been looking for..."

Two days later, I hopped a train to New York City. I knew I would be on the train for quite a while, from previous experience. I also know the ideal place on the train, by the door of the cargo car. I sat down and made myself comfortable, well, as comfortable as one can be on an old dirty floor that happens to be rumbling up the East Coast anyway.

So, onto my past, which you should pay attention to now because I don't mention it often. The truth is, yes I'm telling you the truth, an improvement for me. Anyway, the reason I'm all on my own is because I don't know where my so-called parents are and I don't really care, They left me in a run down tenement in New Jersey when I was seven and all they left me with was a mountain of unpaid bills and broken promises. I was kicked out of the tenement two days later, when the land lady got a clue and realized that the 'adorable' little brunette was all alone, and suddenly, I wasn't so adorable anymore. Ever since, I've taken care of myself, never getting attached to anything or anybody. I never get attached to anything, because everything I've been attached to has been taken away or has left me by choice. I'm a big girl; I can take care of myself. I know it seems lonely and depressing, but that's how I've brought myself up, and it's not half bad.

One good thing came out of my parents' desertion, because they left me and I began wandering, I've learned to speak in every accent known to America. I even learned an Irish brogue, due to my grave mistake of hopping a liner to Ireland rather than a ferry down the East Coast. I was on that ship for a long time and had to survive on the cargo that was being shipped there, which consisted of crackers, bananas, and wine. Let's just say that it takes a lot to get me drunk now. I managed to get on another ship back to the states six weeks later after being stranded there. But I learned a lot and stayed in a deserted stone cottage that was covered with green vines. I almost would have stayed a while longer, but I didn't want to get attached, because that would make it all the harder to leave.

I shifted uncomfortably on the hard floor, it amazed me that after all the trains I'd stowed away on, I couldn't make myself get used to the bouncy, hard, not to mention terribly uncomfortable floor of box cars and cargo cars.

Well, I've always considered myself average, of course, everyone thinks that of themselves anyway...
Anyway, I've got shoulder length brownish gold hair that's simply chopped evenly all around. I would like to have it longer, but I spend far too much time in the warmer states, like New Mexico, to have it any longer. So I keep it at a short, manageable length. My eyes are an icy blue, almost crystal blue, that's probably my favorite thing about myself. The only problem is that they change shades with my mood. When I'm mad, they turn gray with emerald green flecks, which scares people. That I like. My skin is very pale, almost porcelain looking, and I have no freckles, which is amazing considering how much time I spend in the sun. I'm about average height for a girl my age, about five feet five inches and I'm pretty skinny. Of course, that is expected considering I usually only get four good meals a week, five if I'm lucky, which I must say isn't often.

Only four people know my name, but one of them is me, so I suppose that's three. I tried never to tell anyone about me, because then I could become attached, and when people don't know your name, it gets harder. Obviously, my so-called parents knew my name, so that leaves one person and one person only. I'll probably never see him again though; it's been eight years. See, I've been in New York City before, for three weeks when I was nine. I had been in trouble when I got off that boat from Ireland and he helped me out. His name was Will and he was my age, or so he said. He was the only person I ever saw or knew that had a glare that could even begin to compete with my own. He had the same icy blue eyes that changed colors with his moods, and the same aura around him that gave him power.

At the time, we did a lot together and we were really becoming close, which, despite the growing friendship, annoyed the Hell out of me. But, three weeks after we met, I woke up and knew I it was time to go. If I were to ever see him again, he would probably hate me, because I couldn't even bring myself to say goodbye, No matter, he was the friend I needed when I was nine, nothing more, nothing less. I probably won't see him in New York anyway, because last I saw him, he spent most of his time in Brooklyn and Queens, and my new opportunity is in Manhattan.

There's a nice mill in Manhattan that I think I'll try for, it pays the most. It'll be enough to get me by and it comes with room and board, so I'm plenty happy. Well, happy for me that is. I can only hope that these mills in New York are better kept than the ones in Massachusetts.

I laughed a little as I thought about the things I'd just gone through in my mind. I was being silly. I mean, I suppose that little excursion proved that I had a heart. I felt the train begin to slow down and I looked out of the crack in the door and saw New York City in all its glory spilled out before me. Had I not been in a rush to not get caught, I might have paused to check the scenery, something I haven't really done for years. The last time was when I was 11 and stayed in a small shack in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

I hopped off the train just before it reached the station and curled myself into a ball, grasping my small sack of belongings with my right hand and braced myself for my landing. I landed on my back with a thud and rolled about ten feet. Luckily, no one saw me as I got up and brushed myself off and walked towards Manhattan. As my journey began, I silently thanked God that I didn't break any bones, because mills don't often hire cripples.

As I walked, I soon realized that things seemed way too familiar, Oh Great! I thought as I realized that I was in Brooklyn, Just great! And now what? What'll I do if I run into Will? What if he's still around? Would he recognize me? I shook my head and dismissed the thought, there was no way he could recognize me, it had been eight years for Chrissake!

I sighed loudly in my own aggravation, Who am I kidding? All anyone would have to do to recognize me is see my eyes! I had to go and have a weakness like that! Why? Why, God, why??

I was so busy thinking and being aggravated that I didn't notice the teenage boy racing out of an alley until I crashed right into him. We were both flung to the ground and, just my luck, my right arm landed in a muddy puddle, quickly soaking my white shirt through, ok, it used to be white, but it was crème now due to the ground in dirt and lack of washing, I sighed loudly and hopped to my feet, grasping my bag and began to walk away. Unfortunately enough for me, the boy quickly stuck out a gold tipped cane and tripped me up. I grumbled as I picked myself up and glared at the strange boy straight in the eye. Surprisingly, he glared back. I was not used to this, people usually crumbled under my glare and left me alone without a word, This can not be a good thing... I thought as he came a little closer. I was determined not to say anything as I deepened my glare and set my jaw.

The boy just laughed and smirked as he shook his head, continuing to come closer. This last motion is what made me notice his steely eyes, Why do those eyes look so familiar? As the realization hit me, I gasped. Amazingly, so did he.

He tried to get a look at my face and I dodged away, looking at the ground. He rolled his eyes and used that blasted cane of his to lift my gray newsboy cap from my eyes. His shocked look deepened some more as I snatched my hat back and put it on my head. He began circling me, and poked at me with that annoying cane. I growled and batted the offending object away with the back of my hand. He shook his head some more and continued to circle me. He finally came to a stop to face me. He searched my face a little more, almost as if searching for some lost treasure.

Finally, he spoke, "Cass?" he asked quietly and curiously, like he was afraid that if he said it too loud, he would wake up and realize it was all a dream.

None the less, my eyes widened, Could it really be him? After all this time? "Will? Is that really you?" He shushed me all of a sudden and pulled me into an alley. After he finally released his hand from over my mouth, I gave him a funny look, "What was that all about?"

He just rolled his eyes, which really annoyed me, "Me name ain't 'Will' no more, got dat?"

I was shocked as I sensed the authority in his voice and nodded my head and smirked, "So, if it isn't 'Will', then what is it?"

"Spot," He shrugged indifferently.

"Spot?" I asked, trying unsuccessfully to conceal my laughter. He glared at me and pointed that damned cane at me again and I shut up, for reasons I still don't know.

"Cass, what're ya doin' in New York?" I was confused profusely as I heard a tinge of sadness in his voice.

"Uh...I'm here to get a job, and yourself?" I grinned. He just looked at me with that same sad face and I laughed nervously as my smile faded. He held his hand up, signaling to me that he was going to speak. I don't know why I listened to what he sort-of told me, I just did.

"Cass...where were ya?"

Now it was my turn to shrug indifferently, "Following the wind, you know me! Opportunities are waiting for me everywhere!"

He grimaced and shook his head, "Cass, why don' ya give dat up? Jist stay here an ya kin be a newsie. Ya make ah good livin'!"

I just shook my head, "Come on W- er, Spot, you know me, it's who I am, I can't stop something I've been doing for ten years just because you want me to. Look, I don't know what you've done for yourself, but from that tough guy air about you, I'd say it's a lot. Well, I haven't done that for myself yet, and I can't stop until I find my place." Spot gave me a funny look, I had a grave feeling that he wasn't used to being disobeyed, "Spot, I know I probably hurt you when I didn't say goodbye all those years ago, and I'm sorry, but I can't make up for it. I'll be gone in a few weeks, then you can forget I ever came here! You won't even have to seem me...See you around, Spot..." I turned and tried to walk away, but he grabbed my arm firmly and wouldn't let go, "What?"

He looked sort of awkward standing there, "Look, what if I don' wanna ferget ya? Look Cass, it did hoit me when ya didn' say g'bye, but dat don' mean dat Ise gonna let ya slip away when I got da chance ta see ya while yer here. Please, say you'll jist let me see ya! Yer me best friend! Ya always will be, no mattah where ya try ta run to!"

I could easily see how embarrassed that speech had made him and, despite my best efforts, I smirked, "Well, if it isn't the great Will Conlon, biggest ego in the world, gone sappy. What's New York done to you?"

I regretted it almost immediately, because his face became full of hurt and I felt really guilty, but I couldn't let him see that. I just deepened my smirk and turned to go, but he grabbed my arm again, "Cass, ya can't fool me, I saw yer eyes."

"Damn my eyes!" I snorted, stupid, stupid, stupid! I was a perfect con, except for my one weakness, my eyes. They showed every emotion I ever had, but I could normally mask it with strangers. Unfortunately, for reasons beyond my control, my guard always went down around Will. It was like my mind had a mind of its own! I sighed and looked back at him, he was searching my face expectantly. I watched as it was his turn to smirk as he saw my eyes again.

I broke way from his stare and pulled my arm away, "Ok W-er, Spot, I'll see you, but don't count on seeing me much, I'm getting a job in Manhattan, and I know good and well that you spend most of your time here in Brooklyn."

Spot grinned triumphantly and I groaned, "Fer yer information, Ise got good friends in Manhattan dat Ise t'ink Ise gonna go visit fer awhile, looks like wes'll be seein' lots ah each other."

I rolled my eyes and turned around, calling over my shoulder, "Fine Spot, but don't you have a job or something?" I heard him laugh again and I sneered inside myself, could I ever beat him?

"For your information Ms. High-n-Mighty, Ise da leader of da Brooklyn newsies an I kin leave any time I want, my second in command will take care ah things while I'm gone. I kin jist sell in Manhattan fer awhile."

I laughed and smirked, turning on my southern drawl, "Ah, my deah Spot! You goin' to give up your leadership fer liddle ol' me?" I giggled and batted my eyelashes.

"Ah Shaddup Cass!"

We laughed and he proceeded to lead me to Manhattan, as if I didn't remember where it was.

We made small talk on the way, and just as I knew it would, the topic of where I'd been for the past eight years came around, "Come on Cass! Ya can't expect me not ta ask ya when ya been gone fer eight years!"

I smirked and took a peak at the pleading look on his face and cracked up laughing, "Well, well, the fearless Brooklyn leader is begging for answers! And from a girl no less! Tsk tsk deary!" He just rolled his eyes and continued to drill me.

I finally decided to give in and answer his questions. He was getting on my nerves and I was afraid I would have to hurt him if he didn't leave me alone, or at least shut up. "Alright already! Jeez! Ok, well, where to start..." I sighed loudly and pulled my worn leather notebook from my bag and flipped the crinkling pages to the spot when I was last in New York. I again sighed, which was beginning to get on my nerves, and passed the book over to him, pointing at the entry for New York, "I can't tell you all of the places I've been of the top of my head, so just go through there and find them for yourself...If you can read that is!" I added with a smirk, to which I received a hit over the head with his hat.

I grinned and watched in amusement as his eyes bugged out and he flipped page after page, looking at dozens of entries. He got this strange look on his face as he cocked his head at a particular entry, "Gypsies? Ya lived wit gypsies?!"

I giggled and pointed to the dates of when I was there, "Read those, ya moron!" As he did, he blushed sheepishly. I laughed as an 'oh' escaped his lips and he continued reading.

I had only lived with the gypsies for two nights and that was only because a storm had been coming up and I needed a shelter. I ran away as soon as the rain had stopped. They had sworn to me that they would kill me if I ever left, but I didn't believe them. So far, I'm still among the living, so I take threats lightly. Most of them have been empty and last resorts anyway. It isn't like they could find me anyway, I used a different name at every place I stopped, and will continue to do so. Like, when I was with the gypsies, I called myself Storm, like the one that had been the circumstance of my stay with them.

I realized that Will would be hurt that he wouldn't see me anymore after that day, but I didn't want to get attached to anywhere or anyone, it was bad enough that I let my guard down around him, I couldn't bare to be attached. My plan was that as soon as we reached Manhattan, I would tell him I was heading to a certain factory, then I would go to another and he'd never see me again.

All of a sudden, Will took a sharp turn left down an alley and I called after him, "Spot! Where do you think you're going? I may have not been here for eight years, but I damn well know that an alleyway is not a direct route into Manhattan! So stop it and tell me where you're going before I beat your skull into a brick wall and leave you to scrape yourself off the ground!"

He simply grinned mischievously and I rolled my eyes, "Ise takin' ya ta meet da boys ya dumb-ass!"

I glared and grabbed his arm, digging my nails into his skin and he yelped loudly, much to my satisfaction, "You will do no such thing William Spot Conlon! I am not meeting any of your 'boys', I came here to get a job, not socialize! See you around!" I waved and ran back out into the road and turned to see if he was chasing after me, which he was.

I groaned and barreled around a corner. Unfortunately, I didn't see the person that was on the other side and I plowed right into him, sending us both to the ground and the papers he was holding flew through the air.

"Hey! Goil, watch where yer goin'! Who do ya think you are anyways?"

I simply jumped to my feet and started to gather the discarded papers, "Sorry," I mumbled, meanwhile cursing harshly in my mind. A second later, Spot tore around the corner and knocked me to the ground again and straight into the other guy's arms, Jist great! I thought, Now you're really in trouble!

To my surprise, the boy laughed and shook his head. He held out his hand and steadied me as I pulled myself up and glared at Will, who was again smirking, I could kill him!

"Jeez Cass! Throw yerself at da foist guy ya see why don' ya?"

I just deepened my glare at him and stepped back as the strange boy laughed again. That's when I got my first look at him. He was fairly tall, around five feet eleven inches or so, and he had sandy blonde hair. He was wearing a pair of deep brown pants that looked worn and old. His crème shirt was old and the three top buttons were open, I didn't know if they were missing or he always wore his shirt like that. He had a brown cap on that appeared to have been worn to perfection. I couldn't really tell if his shirt was really crème or if ground in dirt and lack of washing had done the trick, like mine.

I looked at his face and he had a grin that spread across his face and made his eyes light up, or at least the one visible. His left eye was covered with an old brown leather patch and I could tell by his eyes that he had been through a lot.

Hey, you don't live with gypsies for two days and not learn anything! I could read people by their eyes. This boy was very happy, but had weathered very hard times. His eye was a crystal blue, like mine when I was confused, and it had a mischievous sparkle that no one could take away.

I looked at his smile again and it made me want to grin from ear to ear, but I didn't. I didn't know this boy! And I wasn't planning to anyway, so why should I give him the satisfaction of one of my brilliant smiles?

I watched as Spot bent down to help the boy collect his papers and I took my chance when they weren't looking. I turned and dashed away without even knocking a stone, something I picked up from some Indians that I had stayed with for five weeks when I was fifteen.

I smirked as I leaned down to help Blink pick up his discarded papers, Dat goil's gonna git me in so much trouble...but, God...It's so nice ta have her back... I looked over at Blink and stood up, passing him his dusty papers, "Well Blink, Ise want ya ta meet ah friend ah-" I stopped short as I turned around to indicate Cass, only to discover that she simply wasn't there. Dammit!

Blink watched me warily and hiked his papers on his shoulder; "You were sayin'?" His grin was really annoying the Hell out of me and all I wanted to do was reach over and ring his neck.

His smile faded and the storm that I was sure was in my eyes began to fade. He sighed and laughed nervously as he slapped me on the back, "Well Spot, looks like ya got yerself a goil ya can't keep undah yer thumb. Now what'll ya do?"

I growled in my throat, telling him to shut up, which he did instantaneously, It's so nice ta have da power! I thought to myself. I looked back at Blink, who shrugged his shoulders. I sighed and helped him sell his last twenty-three papers.

We headed off towards Tibby's, so I decided to explain Cass; he deserved an explanation of the whirlwind that had knocked him over...twice.

"Alright, alright. Foist off, Cass ain't me goil, she's me best friend. An no, I don' got 'er undah me thumb an I don' want to. Cass ain't nevah been tied down ta nothin' 'er nobody an she aims ta keep it dat way."

Blink shook his head, "How come we ain't evah seen 'er or met 'er? Ise mean, she's awful pretty an Ise woul' remembah meeting ah goil like her. She's a storm, I swear!"

I glared at him and his smile faded and he gulped, to which I smirked, "Ya well, I haven't seen 'er fer eight years. An now dat Ise lost 'er tahday, I prob'ly won' see 'er fer anuddah eight years." Blink looked at me with this look on his face that made him seem like a regretful puppy that had done something wrong. I shook my head and he smiled a little, "It's ok Blink, Ise'll find 'er soonah 'er later. She said she's gettin' a job here in Manhattan, I'll find 'er eventually."

Blink nodded his head and smiled a little brighter, "We coul' watch out fer 'er if ya want. Ise woul' hate fer ya not ta see 'er again. Why haven' ya seen 'er anyways?"

I looked at Blink suspiciously, I wasn't really sure if I should tell Blink everything about Cass, but I mine as well. For all I knew, it could help me find her, "Well, she sort of drifts where da wind takes 'er, ya know? She's nevah been to a place more den once, unless she thinks she missed an 'opportunity' as she calls it. I t'ink I'm real lucky ta see 'er again." I shook my head and sighed, I'm gonna miss 'er...

Blink patted me on the back and I looked over at him. I didn't need to say anything, he knew I was grateful. We walked the rest of the way to Tibby's in silence. The guys'll be able ta make me feel bettah...I know it...Maybe I will still find 'er...

I ran out of breath as I stopped abruptly in front of a mill about half an hour later. I nearly collapsed as I put my hands on my knees, dropping my bag beside me and doubled over, breathing deeply and blinking hard. I coughed violently and groaned, long runs always made my problem come up again.

When I was fifteen, I had worked in a mill in Massachusetts and over the course of the twelve weeks I was there, I developed a horrendous cough and a doctor told me that it was due to the dust filled air in the mill. I quit right then and picked up my last paycheck and headed over to Virginia where I worked as an apple picker for an orchard.

After my coughing fit had subsided, I picked up my bag and looked at the sign on the door, 'Manhattan linen company and lodging'. I groaned and went inside, I had no choice now. As I walked up to the main desk, I coughed once and rang the bell.

A stern looking old woman came out from behind a red velvet curtain a moment later. She marched over to the desk and spoke harshly, "What do you want?" She looked at me warily and I desperately wanted to slug her, how dare she judge me? I thought better of it and turned on my acting skills.

I stuck my hand out and shook the old woman's enthusiastically as I turned on my southern accent, "Hi! I'm Lilly and I'm looking for a job. You wouldn't happen to have any open, would you?" I batted my eyes and smiled.

The older woman smiled, instantly softened by my charm, "Why yes, we do young lady. Here, I'm Mrs. Berkens. You follow me and I'll show you your room."

The old battleaxe led me up three flights of stairs and into a cramped little room that looked like no more than a large closet. The walls were yellowed and the floral wallpaper was peeling off. There was one small window that overlooked an alley, but it had a fire escape, so I was happy. There was a small old metal-framed bed that covered one wall. On the other side of the room was a tiny chest with a brass lock.

Mrs. Berkens handed me a brass key, "This opens that chest over there, keep your belongings in it. I suggest you put this key on a string and put it around your neck or you'll lose it and I don't take kindly to replacing locks. The washroom is down the hall and to the left, you share that with the other girls. There are twenty other girls or so. You clock in at five thirty in the a.m. and you'll have two breaks, one for lunch and one for supper. Each one lasts one hour. You clock out at eleven thirty and not a minute sooner. You'll start tomorrow. The rest of today is yours, but if you aren't here by twelve thirty, that's the curfew, you'll be locked out. You've got weekends off unless you don't get your assignments done. If you cause any problems, you're out." With that, she turned around and left me standing there.

"Okay," I sighed and knelt down beside the chest and proceeded to unload my bag. As I lifted the lid of the trunk, a whiff of stale dusty air floated up and I coughed again. The chest was completely empty except for a piece of paper at the bottom of it with a message scripted in blue ink. It read:

Jenni Parker was here
Arrived March 4, 1893
Closed the door for the last time on December 7, 1898

Lilly was here
Arrived October 24, 1899
Closed the door for the last time____________

Besta, North Carolina
September 17, 1899 - October 21, 1899
Alias as: Janine Callismore

I took a cool shower and got redressed quickly. I was hungry and refused to eat in the lodging house kitchen, I had learned in Massachusetts that the free food tasted like cardboard. I knew that if I put a single bite of that slop in my mouth, I wouldn't live to see the sunrise over New York City. I sighed again and finished buttoning up my shirt and looked in the mirror quickly. My brown hair was still damp and clung to my neck. My deep brown pants were a bit long yet and my crème shirt had a small rip by the cuff of the sleeve.

I grimaced as I remembered that it had caught on a tree branch when I hopped off a train in Montana. "Oh well!" I shrugged my shoulders.

God I was hungry. My stomach rumbled loudly and I rolled my eyes. I hated that food was necessary for survival and the fact that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make myself grow used to the few meals I got every week. To me, hunger was a sign of weakness, one of many, oh how I hated that!

I gave up after the next rumbling in my stomach and opened up the chest. I dug down to the bottom and retrieved an old brown leather pouch. I truly despised using some of my precious coins for food, but I had no choice. There was no way I could sleep with my stomach the way it was. I coughed and cleared my throat, Just another cough, just go get some food, I told myself. But I knew it wasn't 'just another cough', I knew that deep inside, no matter how much I tried to convince myself it wasn't true, I was in bad shape. I had worked at many mills in my life, nine others to be exact, and they were all taking their toll on me. Each new mill just added to the sickness in my lungs and I knew it, but I refused to let it stop me.

Nothing would ever stop me, not sickness, not injuries, not -God, why did I think of him? He's just a guy you once knew; you'll never see him again! Just go get your food and go to bed. The sooner you start here, the sooner you leave. I knew that wasn't true either. I only left a place when the wind changed or when I felt it was my time to go, namely when I had made an enemy.

I shakily stood up and closed the chest, grasping thirty cents in my trembling hand. That's when I knew my cough was getting worse, my hands had never trembled before in my life.

I had to face it, me, the tough girl Cass, was getting soft. I let out an aggravated cry and stomped out the door as soon as I locked the chest.

I walked along the sidewalks for quite a while, just lost in thoughts of what my future held. I didn't want to think about the fact that I was probably dying, it was too unbearable, but that's what I kept coming back to. I didn't want to believe it because that was the only thing that I truly feared, I didn't want to die. It scared the Hell out of me. It wasn't really dying that scared me I guess it was the unknown. I couldn't control anything in death; I didn't have a choice of what happened to me.

I was eventually pulled from my thoughts as my stomach rumbled loudly again. I looked up suddenly; I hadn't realized how long I'd been thinking. I looked to my left and spotted a small diner, Tibby's, huh? Well, worth a try, at least I can afford food from a diner? I sauntered over to the diner with my stomach rumbling furiously with each step. I willed my stomach to shut up and I told myself that if it didn't stop, I would turn around and go back to the mill. Surprisingly, it stopped. I pulled open the door and blinked several times to get used to the ill-lighted room.

I sat down next to Jack and Blink squeezed in next to Race and Mush across from me. I looked over at Jack, who was shoving a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth. I smirked and ordered a roast beef sandwich and water.

After Jack had swallowed the glob of potatoes, he looked over at me curiously, "Well, Brooklyn, where ya been? An why, may I ask, did ya drag Blinky here in late?"

I shook my head and laughed a little, Da guard-dog jist don' give up! I thought to myself, "Ah, dat. Ise been in Brooklyn, where Ise always is. An as fer Blink, blame Cass, da whirlwind dat 'bout killed 'im when she ran 'im ovah!"

Jack raised an eyebrow and glanced at Blink, who turned slightly pink, "Cass, huh? An who is dis goil, Blink? Ya gots a goil ya didn' tell us 'bout?"

Blink shook his head and my smirk deepened, "Nah, ain't no new goil, she's a friend ah Spot's. I don' think she knows how ta tawlk! Came tearin' round a corner an plowed right into me! Den she jumped up an Spot came round da same corner. He ran smack into 'er an she fell right into me arms-" Blink had to pause as we all heard whoops and whistles from anyone within earshot of Blink, "Anyways, she jumped up again an was standin' dere one minute, den when we turned around, she was gone. Don' know how she did it, she didn' make a sound!"

I looked over at Blink, who seemed dumbfounded. I shook my head and looked over at the other guys, who seemed a little mesmerized by the strange girl.

Jack looked over at me with this look on his face and I shook my head, "Don' even go dere Jacky-boy! Cass is me friend, nuthin' more! I haven' even seen da goil fer eight years!" All the guys but Blink gave me curious looks and I groaned I really didn't feel like explaining again, "Look, she's been traveling I only knew 'er fer three weeks when I was nine! She wanders around, she follows 'opportunities', or whatevah she calls 'em! Prob'ly won' evah see 'er again..."

Everyone shot me sympathetic looks and I looked down and shook my head. At that moment, the bell over the door chimed and someone stepped in. I looked curiously at Blink, whose mouth was wide open and moving up and down, like he was trying to say something that wouldn't come out.

I turned around to look at what he was staring at, "Cass," I whispered quietly to myself.

My eyes finally adjusted to the darkness and I heard laughing and joking from a couple dozen boys. I walked straight towards the back, where I had spotted an empty table for two. I was nearly there when I felt a hand grab my left arm.

I got one of my icy glares ready and turned around. My glare melted away instantly and was replaced by shock as I came face to face with a very hurt looking Will.

"Cass, where'd ya go? Why'd you leave like that?" He asked me after we were seated at a small table.

I shrugged, glowing with indifference, "I told ya, I had some place to go and I didn't want to waste any more time."

Spot glared at me, his jaw set. I looked him in the eye and I could tell he wanted the truth, and he wanted it now. "Come on Cass, you were runnin' away from me an I know it. Ya promised you'd tawlk ta me an I know yer promises are good. Now I want ya ta swear ta me dat yous'll see me. An no crossin' yer fingers!"

I looked at his face very carefully. The layer of ice that surrounded my heart broke apart just a bit and I sighed. I looked at him and cleared my throat, "I swear on the key I gave you when we were nine, I'll see you."

Spot grinned and shook his head, "You remember."

I gave him a curious look, "Remember? Of course I remember! That's one of my favorite memories! Spot, of course I remember! How could I ever forget?"

Spot grinned and I smiled slightly back. He looked like he was nine all over again when he smiled like that. It was like the years of trouble and life on the streets melted away from him.

"Ya know Cass, I've still got it."

I looked at him with wide eyes as he pulled out the old key from under his shirt. I had to laugh out loud, "Ya really did keep it..." I smiled and closed my eyes as I remembered a day long ago...

She sat curled in a ball behind an old rusted dumpster as she tried to steal a few more seconds of sleep. She was only nine, but anyone could see the years that she had aged and the things she had gone through.

As she finally gave in and pulled herself awake and stretched her legs out, she heard a tiny ping of metal as her foot kicked something. She bent down and picked up an old looking silver key and she smiled as she knew exactly what she would do with it.

She dug down into the dumpster, through grime and old food until she came out with an old brown shoelace. She smiled at her find and tied the key to it and secured the ends with a tight knot. It made for a nice necklace.

She raced through the streets of Brooklyn with a wide smile on her face until she reached the Brooklyn Bridge, where she met her best and only friend every morning. She hid the present behind her back and ran up to him, giddy with excitement, "Will!"

The young boy looked up and his train of thought was interrupted as he smiled and ran over to the girl, giving her a quick hug. She smiled brightly and looked at him, "Look Will, I found it! I think it's the key to the greatest treasure in the world! I'll bet it's the key to a treasure chest! You'll find it, I know you will!"

Will took the gift from her hands and gingerly put it around his neck, looking at it fondly, "Ya know, Cass, I think it's to an even greater treasure." The small girl got a strange look on her face and the boy giggled childishly, "It's da key to us! I'll always keep it. Dis here key, it's da key to yer heart. I know cause you tol' me dat Ise was yer first friend, an I bet dis is da foist gift ya evah givin'. Thanks fer givin' it ta me, Cass!"

The little girl smiled, a little shocked that such a truth could come out of such a small person. She hugged him and they spent the rest of the day having fun and having pretend sword fights in the park. The girl didn't know it then, but that was her goodbye to Will. She left before dawn the next morning. Leaving a sad and brokenhearted boy behind to wipe away his lonely tears that he would never shed.

"Cass, ya ok?"

I nodded my head and continued to cough for a moment.

"Cass, ya ain't ok. What's da mattah?"

I just shook my head and took a sharp breath, "I'm ok, just a cold. Don't worry." I could tell he didn't buy it, but he didn't push the subject any further, I was so grateful for that. He didn't need to know that I wouldn't be around much longer, and not because I was leaving New York. I shook my head and took a shaky breath, I am not going to die! I won't! Spot looked at me with those concerned eyes and I had to keep from looking at him, I was afraid that his key to my heart would work so well that I would cry. I didn't love him like that, I loved him like a brother. He had been the only person in my entire life that I could truly count on to always be there. I just wish he could say the same for me.

I finished eating my soup and ginger ale quickly. I had to go before my big mouth opened and I told him the truth. I did not want Will to worry, more than anything in the entire world, I didn't want him to worry.

I stood up and stretched my arms over my head, "Well, Spot, I'll be seeing you. You're at the Manhattan Lodging House, right?"

Spot nodded his head, "But you ain't leavin' yet, Cass."

I looked at him warily, I didn't like that mischievous spark in his eyes one bit, "What do you mean I'm not leaving yet?"

"Jist as I said, yer not leavin' yet. Yer gonna meet me friends. I don' care what ya say. Now come on," He grasped my hand and led me over to a table, while I pulled and protested all the way, making quite a scene. We stopped at a booth on the other side of the room and Will pushed me forward. There were four boys sitting there, one of them I recognized at the boy who I had plowed into... twice.

I shot a glare at Will, who was smirking again. I was ready to slug him. Will cleared his throat and cocked his head in the direction of the booth. I rolled my eyes and looked over at the table. I was met with four pairs of stunned and curious looks.

I simply put my straight, blank face back on and cleared my eyes of all emotion, which was hard to do considering how mad I was at Will. I swear, sometimes I could just wring that boy's neck!

"Cass, cut the act. These are four ah me best friends an ya bettah be nice," Will pointed that stupid cane at me again and I rolled my eyes and grabbed the end of it and pulled it out of his hand.

"You point this thing at me one more time and you won't have hands to hold it with. And you know I'll do it too!" I heard satisfying gasps from three of the boys sitting in the booth, the other one, the one I'd run over, was snickering.

I glared at him and tapped him on the head lightly with the cane, "And what, may I ask, are you grinning about?"

He just shook his head and I could see the laughter in his eye.

I smirked and tossed Will his cane. I liked this grinning guy, he wasn't afraid of things and I could tell that he knew how to make people laugh during any circumstance, "Well, you sure seem awfully chipper!"

Spot grinned and walked back over to me, shaking his head, "Cass, dat dere is Blink, resident grinning idiot."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, Blink."

I smirked as I watched them, they seemed nice enough. After the two had finished their squabble, Will cleared his throat and threw back his shoulders, "Anyways, the one next to Blink would be Mush, for obvious reasons," Spot smirked and Mush threw a french-fry at him. The boy had dark short curly hair and was very tan. His eyes were brown and made him look like a puppy dog. He had a smile that didn't quite show his teeth and it made him look sleepy, like he was day dreaming.

Spot smirked again, "Well, da one across from Blink is Racetrack, or Race, he's da biggest gambler in da woild, biggest cheater too. An 'is 'hot tips' ain't worth ah cigar, which he is always smokin'."

Race put an ice-cube down Spot's back and grinned. Spot yelped in surprise and went to the bathroom to get his back dried off. I watched as the boys laughed and slapped Racetrack on the back. He was an obvious Italian and his jet-black hair was greased to perfection. His shirt was white and he had on black pants, a black vest, and red suspenders. His eyes were chocolate brown and he had a carefree air about him. I saw a sparkle in his eyes as well and wondered if it was a rule that newsboys were all happy and carefree.

I turned my attention to the boy I hadn't been introduced to yet. He looked like he had been through a lot, but still managed to be happy and hopeful. He wore loose fitted black pants, a white shirt, black vest with gray vertical stripes and an old worn black coat. There was a dirt encrusted red bandanna tied around his neck and a black cowboy hat hanging down his back, So, he wants ta be a cowboy? Huh? I thought as I looked a little closer and saw the corner of an old pamphlet sticking out of his pocket. The colors were faded and water worn and the edges that were once sharp and new were dulled and thumbed through. Santa Fe. He wants to go to Santa Fe, I thought as I looked into his brown eyes. I could tell he had a good heart. He seemed as though he had been through so much for his seventeen years and I wondered what had happened to him.

My thoughts shocked me, I had never cared about anyone but me, myself, and I. Only Will had a hold on me, no one else. How could I let myself grow fond of these people? What was wrong with me?

The cowboy looked over at me, "Well, thanks ta Race here, I suppose Ise'll hafta introduce meself. Ise Kelly, Jack Kelly, at least dat's what me muddah called me," A loud chorus of groans floated up as they heard the old line again.

I looked up in surprise and Blink laughed, "Don' worry Cass, Jack here jist uses dat same line wit everyone 'e meets. Dat's all."

I nodded my head and Blink took over Spot's job of introductions. By the time Spot returned, I had met all of the guys and they were all telling me about themselves.

Spot went over and thumped Race's head with his cane before he sat down next tome me in the booth. Who knows why, but I'd always had a thing with remembering names, and I remembered everyone's that I had met that night. We talked for a bit longer before I convinced Spot to let me go back to the boarding house. He made me promise to come to Tibby's for lunch and dinner before he would let me go.

I guess I can't really blame him though, I mean, I've run twice already, why shouldn't he question me? I trudged up the stairs of the boarding house and collapsed into my bed, which squeaked violently with every move.

My wake up call was at four in the morning and I was up and ready by four fifteen. I trooped down the stairs and was the first one down. I helped Mrs. Berkens set the tables and finish up making the breakfast. I tried not to be rude and offend her cooking as I took tiny bites of a hard roll and sipped at the less than fresh orange juice as I made small talk with the old woman.

As she talked, I noticed different things about her. I could tell she wasn't as hard as the other innkeepers I'd stayed under. She seemed so much nicer. Her brown hair had streaks of silvery wisps peaking out all over her head and she had deep laugh lines on her face. Her turquoise eyes were still as bright and lively as I guessed they were when she was a little girl. She was a slightly plump woman with a kind voice. Her face was rounded and jolly and her cheeks were rosy. Her once full lips were thinning, but were still as pink as a rose. I could see that she acted as a mother to all of the girls who stayed with her. The lounge walls were covered with letters from girls that had come and gone and she had some of the girls' company photos as well. Mrs. Berkens wiped her damp hands on her white cotton apron and sipped some of her hot tea.

I smiled at her and put my plate in the large sink and forced myself to down the last of the dry roll. A few seconds later, I heard the other girls begin to pound down the stairs, giggling and talking a mile a minute. The kind woman leaned over and thanked me. She sighed as she whispered, "Here comes the herd."

I giggled despite my best efforts and shook my head as I escaped out the back door before the sea of giggling girls could swallow me up.

I headed next door to the mill and climbed the rickety wooden stairwell, hoping to get an early start. I ended up getting interviewed by the overseer and I told him of my previous nine mill jobs. He instantly assigned me three looms and I quickly got them cleaned off and ready for when they would start. After I had all of my looms ready, it was still another fifteen minutes before the other girls poured in and I was finally able to begin. The hours seemed to fly by, I didn't even notice the lint filled air or the overpowering thunder of the machines. I was stunned when the noon bell rang for lunch.

I skidded down the stairs and ran happily all the way to Tibby's. I had to laugh at myself along the way, I was rarely this happy and I had been the only girl in the mill wearing pants and a newsboy's cap. I tumbled through the front door of the diner noisily and nearly collided with Mush, who just stood there like a stone.

"Sorry about that Mush," I managed to get out. The others around me shook their heads.

That's when it hit me, I should've known it would get to me. I doubled over, putting my elbows on my knees and held my head with my hands as I coughed violently. I felt the rising pressure in my lungs and I coughed more and more, I was definitely getting worse. After a moment, I fell to my knees, covering my mouth with one hand and pressing on my chest with the other, hoping it would help it stop. My eyes watered and my throat burned like a raging fire. I felt a hand on my back, rubbing it gently, trying to soothe me.

After another moment or so, I finally stopped and looked up at all the worried faces of the newsies. I hadn't wanted to scare them, any of them. I saw a hand in front of me and I took it and they helped me up. I turned to see Blink beside me, still rubbing my back gently, "Thanks," I croaked.

He nodded his head and sat me down in a booth. He sat down next to me and rubbed my back a little more. Race and Mush were across form us and I nodded at them, smiling self-consciously.

I heard Blink's voice beside me, "What's wrong?" I turned to him and looked around quickly, Thank God, Will isn't here yet! I sighed. I couldn't believe I was going to tell them the truth, but I knew I wouldn't get away until I did, especially after that episode.

"Ok, I'll tell you, but you won't like it," I took a deep shaky breath and hated how utterly pathetic I sounded. After all, I was supposed to be Cass, tough girl who doesn't care about anything or anybody. "Alright, I'm working at a mill here and it is not exactly my first mill job..."

"It's ok Cass, go at yer own pace. What's da cough got to do wit da mills?" Race asked curiously, I could tell he genuinely wanted to know and he cared too, as did the others.

"Alright, uh...the air there is really thick with lint and dust from the looms, and they don't let you open windows because the wind could catch the thread. Well, the lint and everything gets to us all eventually, and when it does start, the girls leave, but, I keep going and to new places. Well, it's caught up to me and the sickness in my lungs gets worse at every new mill job. I suppose you should know...this is my tenth mill..." I trailed off, afraid I would start to cry, God, why did I tell them?

I looked up to see a mix of concern and horror on the boys' faces, Blink especially. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he had a look in his eye that was saying, 'Please, not again.' But, that couldn't be it, he had never known me before. Blink cleared his throat and turned my head to face him. He looked almost scared, "You can't go back. Quit. Come be a newsie! Jist don' go back there!"

I shook my head, I was not about to be that weak and do what he said. I looked around and Will still wasn't there. That's when my eye spotted a clock, Dammit! Not again! I pushed my way out of the booth, leaving a stunned Blink on the floor, "I gotta go! I'm late! Tell Spot I was here!" Then I ran out the door and returned to work, leaving a shocked and horrified group behind me.

I watched from the floor, my mouth wide open, as Cass raced out the door, It can't be happening again, it can't! I won' let it happen ta anyone! I can't let it happen ta Cass. She doesn' deserve it, no one does. But, I can't stop 'er if she leaves here. She can't leave, I've gotta stop 'er. I gotta tell Spot, he'll know what ta do. I groaned and pulled myself back up onto the booth and faced the guys.

Mush looked nervous and cleared his throat, "Blink, what'll we do? What's gonna happen to 'er?"

I shook my head, "I dunno. She won' listen ta us though. She only listens ta Spot, an she don' even listen ta him half da time."

"Well, we can't jist let 'er kill 'erself like dis!" Race raged loudly.

"Whaddo ya mean 'let 'er kill 'erself'" I heard a voice ask from behind me and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I didn't want Spot to find out like that. He's a good friend and didn't deserve to find out that his best friend was probably dying.

"Uh...hey Spot. Where ya been?" Mush stuttered nervously and I slid over in my seat so Spot and Jack could sit down.

"Don' change da subject. Who's killin' 'erself?" Spot growled through gritted teeth and I gulped loudly.

"Well...uh..." Mush stuttered.

"What he means is...uh..." Race trailed off.

I gulped again as the two lowered their heads, suddenly very interested in their shoes. Great. Great friends, I thought to myself.

"Woul' you guys quit stallin' an tell me what da Hell is goin' on?" Spot raged and glared at me with this look that could either freeze Hell or boil water, whichever it was, I didn't like it at all.

"Alright Spot, I'll tell ya," I heard the others breathe a sigh of relief and I shot them a glare before I started again, "Spot...it's Cass...she, she's killin' 'erself. Well, not really intentionally, I mean, she knows it's happenin', but she's not doin' it really-"

"Jist git to da point! What's Cass doin'?"

"She's got dis cough..."

"Yeah, she said it was a cold. She tol' me..."

I shook my head, I really hated telling him this, "Nah, ain't no cold. Spot, she's worked at nine mills before dis one. Da air...it's makin' 'er sicker all da time. She was on 'er knees in 'ere. She's gonna git 'erself killed dis way. I know it!"

I searched Spot's face for something, anything to indicate what he was thinking, but I couldn't pick up on anything. He was always good at masking his emotions. I suppose that believing he would break down was the wrong assumption to make with Spot Conlon. I should have known that. I guess I just thought it might be different with Cass.

Spot simply looked at us all blankly, a moment later he ordered his lunch, acting as if it never happened. I shook my head, no matter how badly he wanted it, this was one thing that Spot couldn't control, and I had a feeling that it was tearing him apart inside. I convinced myself that when Cass came for dinner, Spot would sit her down and force her to quit, but deep down, I knew she wouldn't listen. That's when I promised myself that I would help her, even if I had to tie her up and keep her past her curfew to do it. I was not going to let her go, not with out a fight. No matter what.

I didn't really understand why I was so attached to her, it baffled me. I suppose it's just that I didn't want to see her throw her life away like she didn't matter, because she did. She mattered to Spot, and me, and she mattered to a lot of people.

I wondered if she even cares about what happens to her. I know she cared for Spot, or she wouldn't try to protect his feelings the way she did. Why am I so upset? I asked myself over and over again. But deep down, I knew the answer.

I managed to be back at my looms on time, but my lungs suffered. I could hardly breathe and my throat was burning and dry. I shouldn't have stopped for lunch I told myself, Will didn't even show up. Maybe at dinner I'll see him. Just maybe.

I pulled away from my thoughts and told myself that I had to concentrate on what was important, my work. Because the sooner work was over, the sooner the pay came, the sooner I got out of New York. I worked vigorously through the rest of the day, only pausing to cough every now and then.

The dinner bell rang and I sighed in relief as the other girls raced to the door, trying to make it down the stairwell first. Finally, now I can see Will and get it over with. But what if those boys told him? What if he knows? God, I shouldn't have told them, I should have known better! Now I've broken him in more than one way. He'll be hurt that I didn't tell him first and he'll be upset that I'm in this shape at all! Goddamn! Why did I tell them? Why was I so weak and stupid? WHY!?

I pushed my thoughts out of the way as I realized that I had wandered out of the mill and was already a few blocks down the road. I picked up my pace as I realized I only had fifty minutes before I was due back at work.

I stopped about a block from the diner and coughed some more. I was doubled over with my hands on my knees when I felt an arm slip around my waist and a hand press over my mouth. I tried to scream, but I was out of breath as it was and they dragged me into an alley. It's strange, even though I knew they could kill me, who ever they were, or rape me, or beat the crap out of me, all I could think was, Damn, now I'll be late for work! Maybe it was the shock, but that's when I realized that I was in real trouble if all I could think about was being late for work and getting fired.

I knew my heart was covered with ice, but I hadn't realized how far deep it was in my unfeeling. I shouldn't have begun to think like that, because along with those thoughts would come fear, and I really hated fear. Fear made a person weak, and I was not going to be weak.

I was shoved against a brick wall at the end of the dirty alley and I hit my head. I felt a stabbing pain and a little warm blood trickled down my skull. This will not happen!

I looked up and glared at the person in front of me. He was tall with black hair and brown eyes. He wore black pants and a black bowler derby. His red vest was filled with dust and I could smell the liquor on his breath, This can't be good. I looked at his eyes to see if I could tell anything. He looked angry- very angry. He had this sickening grin on his face and I didn't like it at all. That's when I saw a new form come out of the shadows. He looked much like the other guy and I guessed they were brothers. The new boy stood behind me and held my arms behind my back. I got a sickening feeling in my stomach as the boy standing in front of me pulled something shiny out of his pocket and put it on his hand, Damn, that's not good! Brass knuckle wounds take forever to heal! That chilling smile came back on the first guys face and I heard laughing from the boy behind me.

"What're we gonna do Oscar?" I heard the boy behind me ask wickedly. They were trying to scare me and I could tell.

Oscar looked me over and I spit in his face. I regretted that move. He came up to me and hit me across the face with those damned brass knuckles. Then he started kissing my neck and I tried to kick him, but to no avail, all it earned me was a punch in the gut and an order to keep quiet or he'd kill me. I couldn't see his eyes, they were covered by the shadow of his hat, so I had no idea if he was bluffing, but I guessed it wasn't good to take any chances with a guy that had brass knuckles and a brother. Instead, I prayed they would knock me out before they had done too much damage. I was hit again a moment later and I don't remember anything after that. I must have blacked out, which I suppose means that my prayers were answered.

Dammit! Where is she? I thought as I looked towards the door again. I really needed to talk to Cass and I had a horrible feeling in my stomach, and I doubted it had anything to do with the food.

I glanced up for a second as Blink sighed across from me, "Blink, are ya sure she said she'd be 'ere?"

Blink sighed and nodded his head. I grimaced and let out a groan, Cass ain't one ta go back on 'er word. Where is she? God, I can't handle it if she's left without telling me again. It near killed me last time! I waited another hour, but she never showed. I would look up every time the bell over the door rang, praying it was her, I might as well face it, she ain't comin'.

Blink patted me on the back and shot me a sympathetic look. I nodded, knowing he understood. Blink always was a good friend. He and I walked back to the lodging house without uttering a word the whole way. I hoped I would see her in the morning. I turned in as soon as I got back to the lodging house, I didn't want to deal with the guys, not when Cass was unaccounted for. I just wished that sickening feeling of dread would go away.

I groaned and opened my eyes. The first thing that registered was the pain that seemed to throb and radiate through my body, Oh God...did they? I thought to myself. I was afraid to even speculate what they'd done and I shakily got to my feet. I grabbed the nearest wall for support as a wave of nausea washed over me. Suddenly, my cough seemed like a paradise.

I took a few deep breaths, this was not going to be good. I was beaten...probably worse. I missed dinner, I was probably late to work and Will probably thought I had left town again...or died.

I looked myself over and tried to determine the damage. I knew my head was bleeding and my vision was blurred. I could tell I was either bruised, cut, or sore in every part of me and I was almost positive that my right hand was broken. I was also positive that I had been raped, and I really didn't like that. Sighing loudly, I hobbled back to the boarding house at a slow pace.

As I arrived, I came to find that the front door was locked, so I climbed up my fire escape, which was pure agony at the moment. As I climbed through the window, I heard an old grandfather clock chime three times. I limped over to my mirror and realized that I was in even worse shape than I thought. That's when I saw the note on my bed.

As I read over it, I winced. I had been fired and she wanted me out before the other girls woke up or she would call the bulls on me. Jeez, for a nice old lady, she sure is strict! I gathered my things and filled in the date on the slip of paper at the bottom of my chest. I bit my lip as the pain in my body grew more intense. I nearly yelped as I felt the coppery taste of fresh blood in my mouth. I hadn't realized how hard I had been biting my lip. I hadn't even had time to clean myself up and I groaned as I tilted my head back, which re-opened a cut on the back of my neck. As I walked down the street with my bag draped gingerly over my shoulder, I rubbed my forehead, trying to think of something to do. I groaned as I pulled my fingers away to discover fresh sticky blood on them. I had re-opened a cut on my forehead too. The bitter blood began to trickle down the side of my face anew, where it would dry with the rest of it. I was nearly positive that there was more of my blood on the outside of my body than there was in my veins. Later, when looking back on it, I'm amazed that I managed to be among the living, let alone walking down the filth ridden streets of New York.

I shivered violently and decided I needed a place to stay. That's when I spotted a statue in the middle of some sort of square. I shrugged my shoulders, which caused yet another cut to re-open, and curled up into a tight ball in front of the statue, using my bag for a pillow. I fell asleep just as the blood finally stopped flowing from my many cuts and the pain began to register in full force.

I woke up to Kloppman's voice and tried to get in a few more minutes of sleep. I ended up with a whack on the head from the old man's trusty broom. I swear, he liked torturing us way to much to be normal. I sighed and got up, stretching my arms over my head as my body fought for a few more minutes of sleep. I paused as I got Spot out of bed, "Come on Conlon, if ya wanna find Cass, ya gotta git yer lazy butt out of dat bed!" I heard Spot groan and he nodded his head and began to get ready for the day, while his eyes were still half closed.

I shaved quickly and finished getting dressed. Spot came out, looking much more awake, just as I finished tying my shoelaces, "Ya ready ta go Spot?"

He nodded his head and we headed out. Spot and Jack trailed behind, deep in conversation over one thing or another and I ran ahead and grabbed Mush's hat, bolting out in front of him. It was hard to act happy with Cass on my mind, but I had to keep my mood up, for everyone's sake.

As I came up on to the square, Mush caught up to me and slapped me upside the head and took his hat back. I didn't feel it though, I was too interested in the crown that was quickly forming around the statue. I had this sudden pang and went tearing up to the crowd, shoving people out of the way until I got to the center, with Race and Mush right on my tail.

I gasped as I saw the bloody sleeping form before me, "Oh God! Cass? Race, Mush, go git Spot, go, go!" I yelled at them as I patted Cass' beaten cheeks, "Cass? Wake up...please wake up..." I picked her up carefully and grabbed her slightly blood soaked bag as well and began to carry her out of there.

"Come on Jack, ya know that Sarah was cheatin' on ya!"

"Ah shut up Conlon!"

"Whatevah, all Ise sayin' is-" I stopped short as I saw Race and Mush barreling straight toward us, yelling my name.

"What?" I asked irritably and groaned as they stopped in front of us.

Mush began waving his hands around saying stuff like, "C-C- statue...Greeley..."

I exchanged bewildered looks with Jack and turned to Race, "Race, woul' ya tell me what knuckle head here is tryin' ta say?"

"Cass...statue...beaten...blood...so much blood…Blink…tell you..." he rambled slowly.

I felt the panic rising in my throat, I couldn't even think about it, "Oh God! Ok..." I took off running towards the statue as fast as I could.

In the distance, I saw Spot beginning to run towards me. I frowned as I headed back to the lodging house, Kloppman could take care of Cass, I knew he could.

Spot ran up to me and gasped loudly as he saw Cass, "Oh God! Blink, what happened to 'er?" Spot raged, I could hear the panic rising in his voice.

I just shook my head, "I don' know! I jist found 'er by da statue like dis! Come on, we gotta git 'er ta Kloppy. He'll take care ah 'er. Let's go."

Spot nodded his head and I could see murder in his eyes. It scared me when he looked like that, because it always meant trouble. Spot took Cass' bag from my hand and we continued along, many of the other guys turning to stare at us as we went. I knew that Race and Mush would tell them all about what was going on, I just cared about getting Cass to a place where she would be safe.

It took us a long time to get her back to the lodging house, and Cass hadn't stirred at all on the way back. I was beginning to worry about her even more because she was so cold and limp in my arms. Spot ran ahead of me to tell Kloppman that we were coming and I began to talk to myself, "Cass, come on, ya gotta be ok! Ya hear dat? Ya gotta be! Spot needs ya...I need ya...God, it can't happen again! Please Cass...jist be ok, please!"

I stumbled through the door and Kloppman had me carry Cass up the steps and put her in the room that was set aside for everyone that got sick. I just prayed she was going to be ok. After I set her on the bed, Kloppman pushed Spot and me out of the room, much to our protests. I gave in, but I had to hold Spot back, Poor guy, he's real torn up. Cass is 'is best friend, I sure hope 'e don' lose 'er. I led Spot across the hall and made him sit down on the floor. If he weren't so upset, he probably would have soaked me for bossing him around.

After I got Spot calmed down somewhat, I sat down myself and we began our long wait for word on Cass.

I was shocked when I laid eyes on the limp young girl in Kid Blink's arms. There was so much blood and he lips were tinted a pale shade of blue, but she didn't move. That's what worried me the most, she wasn't moving at all. I couldn't even tell that she was breathing except for the occasional ripping cough that escaped her cool lips. I didn't know if I was going to be able to help her, but from the panic stricken look on the Brooklyn boy's face, I knew I had to try. I quickly gathered a bowl of water and some rags and towels from the washroom. I heard that poor girl cough again and it sent chills down my spine. That ripping, hacking cough was wracking her body and sent her shuddering. I shook my head and wet some of the towels and began to clean the blood from her.

I moved as gently as I could, because the last thing I wanted to do was put her in more pain. I felt horrible for this girl, she seemed to be in so much pain. That poor kid, that poor, poor kid. God, what happened to her? All these thoughts ran through my mind as I proceeded to scrub the caked on dry blood from her small body.

The cough worried me greatly, I could tell that it was something she'd had for quite awhile because she hardly creased a brow when the coughing fits came. She seemed so young to have so many burdens. As I worked to clean the blood from her, I came upon many old scars and bruises and wondered where they came from. I found myself growing attached to this young girl and was surprised to find how much I was hoping she would pull through. Maybe it was just the looks on Blink and Brooklyn's faces, but I was hoping none the less. I worked diligently and got all the blood from her body and hair, but the clothing was lost. I shook my head and searched the room for some other clothes. I managed to find an old brown pair of pants an a cr?e shirt that was a little big on her, but it had to do. I found myself sighing a lot as I pulled the girl's shoes and stockings off and covered her in a few blankets after I had bandaged up the bad wounds with ripped old rags. I stitched up her forehead and the back of her head with a small sewing kit. It's almost funny, the girl didn't wince at a single stitch, but I found myself holding my breath a few times.

As I tied off the last bandage and splinted her broken wrist, I let out my breath and my sweating face began to cool, I was glad the girl hadn't woken up through any of my doctoring, I wouldn't have been able to keep on going if she had begun to cry. Although, I had a funny feeling that this particular girl would not have shed a tear, but I was glad she was still asleep none the less.

I shook my head to myself and cleaned up the blood soaked clothes and towels. As I looked over them, I realized that it was all unsalvageable and threw it all into a large garbage bin and continued along with my cleaning. I didn't want to worry the boys by having them see all the blood that had come off of the girl, so I was sure to tie the garbage bag securely before I left.

From the moment Race and Mush ran up to me and told me about Cass, time seemed to fly by me in one blur of motion. I scarcely remember being dragged out of the room she was in and Blink's voice seemed far away when he sat me down in the hall. All I could think about was Cass and how she was doing. All I could do was beg God to tell me why he'd let anything happen to her. Most of all, I was filled with a deep rage and hatred for whoever had hurt Cass.

I had just gotten her back, it wasn't fair for her to be taken away from me so fast. I kept reminding myself that Cass was a fighter and that she wouldn't give up on life so easily. She was going to be ok, she had to be. Who would hurt Cass? Who would do that to her? I wanted answers to my questions and I would stop at nothing to get them.

As I contemplated the thought that Cass might not pull through, it reminded me of the first time I lost her. I went way back in my mind to remember that day. Like any other day, I was supposed to meet Cass at the Brooklyn Bridge at lunch time. I stood there for hours, staring blankly at the road, telling myself that Cass wouldn't leave me without saying goodbye, and somehow, that thought comforted me. It wasn't until late that night and the lamps in the windows were going out that I admitted to myself that she was gone.

I looked all over New York for her for a long time, but it never helped. Every time I heard of a mysterious brunette coming into town, I would rush, over praying it was her. I even had some of my connections around other states on the lookout, but Cass never used the same alias twice, so she was impossible to track. I thought I was dreaming when I ran into her that day, but her unforgettable eyes proved me wrong.

Now, all I wanted was for Cass to live. I found myself asking God to let her live, to not take her away from me again. I even begged him to take me instead. Come on Cass, ya promised ya wouldn' leave me wit out sayin' goodbye dis time! Come on, keep yer promise! Don' leave me yet! I longed to see her steely gray eyes open, to hear that familiar sarcastic laugh that lit up her face and put that satisfied smirk on her face. And for the first time in years, I truly wanted to cry.

I felt a tapping on my shoulder and looked over at Blink, "Yeah?"

I watched him as he sighed deeply, "Ya haven' heard a word I've said, have ya? I was tellin' ya dat Cass'll be ok. She's strong an she won' leave ya. Cass may be hotheaded, an I know I don' know 'er very well, but she cares about ya, otherwise she wouldn' have tried ta hide dat cough from ya, an she wouldn' have stayed when ya saw 'er in Tibby's. Cass won' leave ya, I know it, ok?"

I looked over at Blink and smiled a little, "Thanks Blink. An yer right, she won' leave me. Ya know why? It's cause she promised me dat she wouldn' leave wit out sayin' goodbye, an she keeps 'er promises," I patted Blink on the shoulder and he gave me one of his grins.

We were both calmed by now and we talked a little and I told Blink all about Cass and the story of how I met her. We passed the time quickly and I jumped in anticipation when Kloppman finally emerged from the sickroom. I took a few deep breaths and expected the worst when Kloppman smiled gently.

"You can go on in now, both of ya if ya want. Now, she ain't awake yet and I don't want you disturbing her, so talk gently and watch her right wrist, it's broken. Also, she may not awaken for several days, she did take quite a beating. We won't know the full extent of her injuries until she wakes up, and that means we won't know who did that to her, so don't go looking for trouble," The old man pointed his finger at me and glared. I shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head, "Now, so you aren't too surprised when you see 'er, I'll tell ya what I had to do, ok?"

The more Kloppman talked, the more concerned I became. He made it sound like we weren't even going to recognize Cass, but she couldn't possibly be any worse than she had been when Blink found her. I realized that Kloppman and Blink were waiting to see if I wanted the old man to go on, so I nodded my head slightly and sighed.

Kloppman nodded as well and took a deep breath, "Ok, to start, that girl had some deep cuts and gashes. I had to stitch 'er up in a couple of places. Also, I got all the blood cleaned off of her and bandaged her deeper cuts and scrapes. I had to put a splint on her right hand and arm, it had a nice little break. Now, that's about it, but, she's wearin' Race's extra pants an Blink, she's wearing your shirt. I'm afraid her clothes were too soaked in blood to be helped at all."

At that point I took a deep breath, but I suppose it was very shaky, because Blink shot me a sympathetic look and Kloppman's brow furrowed, "Now Spot, you saw how she looked when she came in her. That girl is lucky she's alive, so suck it up and count your blessings." I wanted to glare, I wanted to yell and scream and cry all at the same time, but I didn't. Instead, I gritted my teeth and nodded my head and stood up quickly.

Kloppman walked back downstairs and Blink and I eased our way into Cass' room as quietly as we could. Once inside the room, I heard the click of the door behind me as Blink closed it. I instinctively sat down in a wooden high-backed chair on Cass' left side and grasped her left hand.

I let out a sigh and Blink pulled another chair over and sat down beside me. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he looked over Cass and patted me on the shoulder reassuringly.

I felt bad for Spot as that same stricken look remained glued on his face. I wondered if he would ever recover if Cass were to die. But I wiped that thought out of my mind quickly. Cass wasn't going to die. Spot wouldn't let that happen and she would never do anything to hurt him like that. I resolved to never let thoughts of Cass' demise enter my mind again and shook my head as if to clear the invading thought from my brain. Instead, I concentrated my attention on Cass. Her right hand looked swollen and slightly purple under all those wraps, and she was bruised all over. She had a white strip of cloth wrapped around her head and there was a small splotch of blood, I guessed that the stitched up gash was concealed underneath. Her pale neck was a bluish green color and it looked like someone had grabbed her by the throat because of the blackish purple dotted marks on the back of her neck. Both of her eyes were blackened and were probably too swollen for her to open. And even though she was so beaten, she still seemed so beautiful to me. Of course, I'll bet that every guy has thought that. Cass had this air about her, she was so kind and sweet, even though she was trying so very hard to hide it. She was beautiful, both inside and out. She was just rough around the edges, that's all. It was like she was trying to wear a mask, to protect herself from some unknown evil. I just wished that I could help her, show her that she didn’t have to hide from anything.

All these thoughts were running through my mind, zigzagging back and forth and I was afraid that if they went much faster they would collide. POW! And then all my broken thoughts and speculations would lay in a heap in my head, turning my heart into a lead weight. By this time, I caught Spot's eye and he was looking at me warily, that's when I realized that I was hyperventilating.

I grinned sheepishly, feeling very foolish and shrugged my shoulders. Spot just rolled his eyes and I sighed loudly, returning my breathing to normal. I once again returned my concentration back to Cass and watched her as her chest went up and down in an unsteady motion. It was too much for me as I desperately tried to block out her dry, ragged breathing, but the harder I tried, the louder it got. It was killing me to see her like this, it killed me to see anyone like that. It sent sharp jagged chills down my spine and made me shiver as that dry cough escaped her perfect lips and I looked away, trying not to let Spot see that I wasn't as sure of her survival as I had been. Also, I didn't want him to see the few tears that had sprung to my eyes and trickled down my cheeks leaving a dirt filled wet track.

A great wave of relief crashed over me as I heard the door open downstairs and the familiar shouts and clamber of the guys as they pounded up the old wooden staircase. Spot shot me an anxious look and I nodded my head, "Don' worry, I'll tell 'em what's goin' on. Jist stay 'ere an watch Cass."

Spot smiled gratefully and nodded his head. I stood up and patted him on the back and walked out of the room, hearing the door click securely behind me.

As soon as Blink was out of the room, I sighed and turned back to Cass, God I was worried about her. She was, no, IS my best friend and if I lose her, I'll go insane. That's all I could think about as I grasped her cool hand even tighter in my own and one salty tear trickled down my cheek. I looked down on her face and the little splash of water landed on her bottom lip. I smiled despite myself and kissed her forehead.

I sighed as I walked over to talk to my awaiting group of friends, who looked quite confused. I shook my head and stopped to join the group. I was standing next to Race, who was hitting Snipeshooter over the head with his hat for taking his cigar, again. I smiled at the familiarity and sighed. Apparently I sighed loudly, because I got the attention of Mush, who elbowed Jack in the ribs and pointed to me.

All I could do was smile sheepishly and shrug my shoulders as everyone suddenly turned to stare at me. That's when I remembered that I had not yet washed my hands or changed my shirt, which were both still covered with blood...Cass's blood. I shuddered to myself and frowned, "Heya."

Race came over and patted me on the back, "How's she doin' Blink? Is she..." He paused and was unable to go on.

I shook my head, "No, Kloppy fixed 'er up, but she don' look good eiddah. She hasn' woken up yet. Spot's real torn up. Ise real worried 'bout 'im. We won' know what all is wrong wit 'er 'till she wakes up, but she don' look good at all, I kin tell ya that. She broke 'er wrist an Kloppy had ta stitch 'er up in ah couple ah places. But, all da blood is off 'er an she's bandaged up real good, so she should be ok. Dat's all we know though," I took a deep breath, talking that much could really make a person tired.

Mush was fidgeting nervously on one side of me and Race was rubbing the back of his head on the other. I groaned loudly, they sure could be annoying when they wouldn't just get to the point, "Ok, what's da mattah?"

"Well..." Race trailed off and I glared at him and he walked over to Jack and stood behind him.

"What he's tryin' ta say is..."

"Mush, get to da point, will ya?"

He nodded his head and I looked at him expectantly, "Well, see, coul' ya go change 'er sumthin'? Da blood on ya is makin' me nauseous."

"Yeah, an it's makin' me noivous!" Specs chimed in.

I laughed and looked down at my hands again, "I guess yer right. I coul' change me pants an take ah shower, but I don' got anuddah shirt."

Jack grimaced and clapped me on the back, "Why the Hell not? Ya had one yesterday? Did da little leprechauns dat live in da attic steal 'em?" Race glared at Jack for that comment. Race had been in the lodging house for 8 years and when he had first gotten there, he used that as an excuse when Kloppman's trusty broom 'magically' disappeared. I laughed and shook my head.

"Nah, no leprechauns dis time, it was da Storm, Cass had ta wear it. Kloppy had to throw out her stuff; it had too much blood on it, so she's wearin' my shirt...oh yeah! Race, she's wearin' yer spare pants."

I saw Race's face redden for a moment as some of the younger, more hormonal enraged newsies shot him crude and perverted remarks. Snipeshooter was the only one near him at the time, so he received a good slap in the face with Race's hat, grinning, I shook my head.

Dutchy threw me a clean shirt a moment later and told me to go shower. I nodded my head and sauntered off to the washroom. [Author's note: Ok, now, I'm sure all you Blink fans wanted me to keep his point of view going through his shower, but that's just sick! So, sorry to say, POV Change! *grins*]

My eyes fluttered open, but I didn't see anything around me but darkness. My body felt light, almost weightless as I looked around myself. There was nothing around me but black. I was suspended in the air like I was flying, only I wasn't moving. There was a tightness inside of me that I can't describe. The only sound I could hear was my own breathing, and even that seemed far away and fading fast.

My pain was gone and my lungs seemed somehow lighter, I was so at peace.

Suddenly, I heard a crackling sound and looked downwards as ice began to seep out of my chest. It began to spread and wrap me in it's coldness. It prickled my skin like thousands of needles as it ran up and down my body, all the way around me.

I realized that the ice was from my heart, what used to enclose it was now proceeding to cover the rest of me, suffocating me in its noisy silence. I closed my eyes and waited as the thickening ice grew upward and stung at my skin as it covered my head. The ice hardened and crackled as it became thicker and thicker, covering me forever.

I was almost gone as I heard a sudden sound. It sounded like something falling, and falling fast. I heard a plunk as a droplet of water hit the top of the ice and I felt salt on my lip. Then a voice at the back of my head came alive. At first, it was simply a humming whisper, unable to make out. Then, it grew louder and louder until it was screaming like a siren in my hear, You promised you wouldn't leave me! You haven't said goodbye!

I didn't know the voice or the person it belonged to, but I had an urgent feeling that it belonged to someone important, but I just couldn't remember. My eyes suddenly shot open as the salt on my lip began to sting and I gasped for a breath, not knowing why. The ice screamed around me as long jagged cracks ran down it. A blinding golden light illuminated from the cracks and they brightened, blinking until the ice crackled and burst, shattering into millions of tiny pieces that shone like diamonds as they scattered across the blackness around me. I smiled for a reason that I didn't understand and whispered, "I'll keep my promise."

"Spot, look, wes all worried, but ranting ain't gonna bring 'er back, so shut the Hell up already!"

I was becoming more that a little annoyed with the Brooklyn leader and I was about ready to kill him, as was nearly everyone else that had been in contact with him in the past three days. I felt bad for Jack, who was currently in Conlon's line of fire. I had tried to warn him not to go in Cass' room, but Jack, being his bullheaded self, had gone in anyway.

I winced as Jack slammed the sickroom door behind him and stomped out to the fire escape to smoke on the roof. My guess was that if he didn’t get that cigarette, he would soak the crap out of someone, and that would be very bad. No one could really blame Jack though, ever since Cass was found, Spot had been a real pain in the ass. Always moping around and snapping at anyone who tried to help. Poor Mush had already nursed a black eye and Race had been whacked in the ribs with Spot's cane and was now black and blue in that area.

I sucked up my courage and decided to get Spot out and around to sell the afternoon edition. After all, maybe it would lighten his mood and give us all a break. As I cautiously peered in, I could see Spot still perched in that wooden chair where I had left him three days before. The only time he left her side was to wash up in the morning and again at night. Kloppman brought him his food. And who knows what he did while we were all out selling.

"Uh, Spot? How ya doin'?"

Spot looked up, he seemed surprised that I was in there, "Oh, hey Blink. I'm hangin' in alright, but when'll Cass wake up?"

I had to feel sorry for the guy; he looked so upset and tired. I doubted he had slept at all in the past three days. I looked Cass over quickly, she looked a lot better now, the black and bluish purple bruises had paled and faded to a light shade of green and yellow and I suspected that they would be non-existent in the morning. I couldn't believe how quickly she had recovered, but I guessed that she had a strong stamina, like she had grown used to being beaten. Her cough had calmed considerably and she seemed to be feeling better. If only she could stay sleeping until her cough was gone, then she'd be ok.

"Well Spot, Ise was thinkin', since Cass'll prob'ly sleep fer a real long time, why don' you go git some lunch an sell da afternoon edition. It coul' calm your nerves. Ise'll watch Cass while yer gone. An I promise I'll send someone ta go git ya if she starts ta wake up."

Spot looked like he really was considering it and I grinned to myself. Spot could definitely use this break, then again, so could everyone that's dealt with him for the last few days.

I watched him anxiously as he stood up and stretched his arms above his head, "Well, I guess I coul' go sell fer da aftahnoon. But, if she does wake up, make sure ya git someone ta come an find me, but don' leave er! Ya got dat?"

I nodded my head and he smirked, “Good, now, Ise need ya ta prop 'er up an feed 'er some soup a liddle later. You'll hafta sorta stroke 'er throat ta get 'er ta swallow, but she's gotta eat. An watch 'er wrist, an-"

"Spot."

"Yeah."

"I got it."

"Oh."

I grinned and pushed Spot to the door, "Now, she'll be fine. Go on an git outtah here b'fore I hafta hoit ya!"

And for some bizarre reason that I still don't fully understand, he listened to me. Jack later told me that it was a miracle Spot didn't kill me around then. For some reason, maybe because I had cared about Cass and helped him out, but whatever the reason, Spot would listen to me and didn't get mad. I sighed loudly and shut Cass' door. Then I looked her over again and shook my head as I took Spot's place by her side.

She really was looking better, and I was sure that Spot would be just fine after he got a break from the depressing and poorly lighted room, "Ok Cass, now, ya gotta wake up for me, k? Cause Spot woul' die if yer not ok an we're all wantin' ya ta wake up, alright?" I sighed loudly and shook my head to myself, "What am I doin'? She can't hear ya! Jeez Blink, now yer talkin' to yerself! Ack!" I groaned and scolded myself when I suddenly saw a movement out of the corner of my eye...

My mouth seemed dry as I began to wake up, but the first reaction that registered in me was a sharp pain in my right wrist as I tried to wriggle my fingers. What? What's that red light all around me? I thought to myself, I was confused. Then I realized something; my eyes were closed. There was a bright light that was shining on me and I felt so warm. That's when I remembered what had happened before. That ice, it nearly killed me! Oh God! Am I dead?

I resolved that I would never know if I didn't open my eyes. But, if I was dead, did I want to know? And if I was alive...the where the HELL was I? And would it be safe to open my eyes? I gave up on contemplating; it gave me a headache. So I did the only logical thing...I opened my eyes.

Oh! Ow! I thought as the brightness of the room stung at my eyes and I squinted, trying to make out the shapes before me. At first, all I could make out were blobs and circles with fuzzy edges. But as I blinked harder, the forms began to take shape and I could make out the objects in front of me. Then I heard a voice,

"Cass, are you ok? How are ya?"

I was now thoroughly confused, this wasn't Will's voice and it hadn't yet registered that I did know this person before me, "Uh?"

"Oh jeez! Cass, are ya ok? Ya hungry? What's da mattah?"

That voice, I knew that voice and that eye patch and that crystal eye and tanned face...I knew him...Blink! That's Blink! My mind screamed at me to remember. "Oh...uh...Blink...Hi?"

He laughed and his grin that I had somehow grown accustomed to returned to his face, "So, ya feelin' bettah?"

"I suppose I am...but why the Hell am I here?"

His grin disappeared momentarily and he sighed, "Well, I found ya in da square an ya didn' look so good, so Ise got Spot an we brought ya here. Kloppy cleaned ya up real good."

"Ok...but where exactly is here? And who the HELL is Kloppman?" I raged. I shouldn't have let my temper get away with me, but it always happened and I picked up my right hand and slammed it down on the nightstand out of aggravation.

I saw Blink wince and my face paled and I saw stars, "Oh shit..."

Blink sat down again and took my hand and looked at it, "Uh oh..."

"What do you mean 'uh oh'? I do NOT need to hear an 'uh oh' right now!"

"Ya jist re-broke yer wrist."

"Shit."

"Coul' ya refrain from da foul language jist a bit? I ain't used ta hearin' goils say stuff like dat. Course...I ain't used ta knowin' goils like you..."

"Gee, how very kind of you!" I retorted, my voice dripping with sarcasm and I rolled my eyes, "I'm sure you'll get lots of girls with that line!"

"Only you, Cass."

That comment threw me for a loop, so, being my block-headed self, I did the only logical thing to do, "Shut up!"

"Ah calm an hold still. I'm gonna reset your wrist, an it'll hoit...a lot...but it's gotta be done."

"Oh alright! But if my wrist heals crooked, I'm coming after you!"

He grinned and snickered, "Sounds fair to me!"

I grimaced and he counted backwards from three, "Three, two, one!" SNAP! I heard that resounding crack and I winced, God did I ever want to cry! But I didn't. That pain that surged through my arm and down into my chest that made my lungs yearn to scream and radiate through me, pushing out of my fingertips and into the air, it was killing me. It hurt so badly, but I refused to cry, not in front of him, not in front of anyone, not even myself. After the pain had dulled to a constant throb and I was sure my eyes wouldn't be sending bluish silver rays of pain, I looked up at Blink and smiled. It was rather funny, here, I was the one getting my wrist relocated and he was the one that was holding his breath, "Blink, it's ok, breathe!"

He gasped for breath and his bluish face faded back to red, pink, then finally faded back to it's normal color, "Thanks."

"Thanks? What for? You're the one that reset my wrist ya moron!"

"I know...but thanks fer not killin' me or cryin'."

I smirked, "Me? The infamous Cass? Cry? Never!" I winked and batted my eyelashes, which earned me a laugh.

We sat there in silence for what seemed like eternity, just looking at each other. Blink seemed nervous about something, but I couldn't understand what it could be. I was beginning to get fed up and I sighed loudly and looked away.

"What's wrong?" he asked me gently.

"I would like to know what's wrong with you, but you won't tell me. Now don't give me that look, I can see it in your eyes."

He gave me a funny look, like I was crazy or something. "Well...I guess I coul' tell ya..."

I nodded my head vigorously, "Yes, tell me! You can tell me anything!"

He shot me a goofy grin and shook his head, "Ok. Well, I just, I need ya ta promise me dat ya won' go work at any more mills. Please promise me!" He must have seen the murder in my eyes, there was no way anyone would tell me what to do, "Wait! Don' give me dat look! I promise, it's jist...if I tell ya why I feel dat way...coul' ya promise to consider it?"

I gave him a skeptical look and narrowed my eyes at him, but I nodded my head, "Good! Now...See...I used ta have a sister. She was younger den me by a couple ah years an she wanted ta help out around the house. So she got a job at da mill dat you was workin' at. But...aftah ah while she got da same cough dat you did. We thought it was a cold so we let 'er keep on workin'. But it jist got worse an den one day she started coughing up blood an stuff. So we took 'er to a doctah, but he said it was too late ta help 'er. She had worked at dat mill fer too long, five years. We lost 'er a couple weeks later. My ma...She couldn' take it aftah dat. She had already miscarried three oddah kids an my Pa had died in ah accident at da factory he worked for. She shot 'erself in da head about ah month latah. Ise been alone evah since. Dat was about ah year ago. I was already ah newsie fer a few years b'fore dat an I had lived in da lodgin' house ta help save money. It was jist, now, I was really alone. I lost my sistah to dat mill an it made me lose my ma too. I don' want ta see Spot lose you da same way."

"Blink?"

"Yeah?"

"Yer sister...her name was Jenni, wasn't it?"

He shot me this look, "How did you know dat?"

"Ise...I got the room that she had been living in at the time. There was this paper in the bottom of the chest. It said 'Jenni Parker was here' then it listed the dates that she was there. It added up I guess. So, that's why you don't want me staying in any more mills."

He nodded his head, "Please promise me dat ya won' work in any more! I don' wanna lose you like I lost me sistah. It hurt 'er so bad an me ma too. Please promise me!"

I looked at the ground and then raised my head up, "Ok Blink, I promise."

He got this smile on his face, like he hadn't been that happy in a long time and he threw his arms around my neck and squeezed, "Thanks Cass! Thank ya so much! Ya don' know what that means ta me!"

"Uh..." I didn't know what to say, he startled me. I hadn't been hugged in a long time. Other than Will, my parents were the last people to ever hug me and this sudden human contact made me nervous, "Blink...I can't breathe."

He blushed crimson and released me, "Oh...Right..."

I grinned to assure him that I was ok and he smiled back. He was really nice, "So, Blink, where does a girl get a meal around here??"

"OH! Yeah! Dat was real stupid ah me! Spot tol' me dat ya woul' be hungry. Course, he thought you'd still be out. So I guess ya kin have somethin' uddah den soup, eh?"

I shot him a curious look, "Out? How long have I been asleep for?"

He sighed, "Oh- bout three days 'er so. Like I said, ya were passed out in front ah da square. Kloppy took care ah ya an made ya bettah. Ya jist slept a long time. Ya know, ya really gave Spot a scare, he was worried sick! I got 'im ta leave ya side ta sell some papes jist b'fore ya woke up! Anyways, don' tell Spot I tol' ya dat, he's got dat rep ah his ta protect. So, whatcha want ta eat?" He finished as if these statements he had previously made were ordinary, when they were really anything but. I had never been passed out for longer than five minutes, and now he was telling me that I had slept for three days? It just didn't seem right. But, on the upper hand, my throat and chest seemed lighter.

"Uh...how about a sandwich?" He gave me a look that said 'eat more or I'll shove it down you're throat'. I put up my hands in defeat and sighed, "Alright, alright. How about a sandwich, a glass of milk, and...I don't know...you fix me whatever's down there, ok?" He nodded and grinned again. I had never met a person that could smile so much and I silently wondered if grinning like that made your mouth hurt. Because if it did, he must have been in a lot of pain the way his grin never disappeared.

A moment later, he trudged down the stairs and I heard his conversation with an old man, who I guessed was Kloppman, float up the stairs. They were talking about me and that I was awake. I heard Kloppman say that he would come up to check on me while Blink made me lunch. Now, two things were worrying me at this point. Number one, I didn't know this Kloppman person and I didn't know what he meant by 'checking on' me. Number two, if Blink was going to make my lunch, was I going to need more than Kloppman to cure my food poisoning? Of course, that wasn't fair, I didn't know how well Blink cooked or if he cooked at all, not to mention that I should be grateful and take what I can get.

I heard the steps creak a moment later and a face peered around the corner, "Hello miss. I see our sleeping beauty is finally awake! So, how are ya feeling today?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "About as well as one can feel after what I've just been through I suppose."

The old man nodded his head and grimaced. I detected a distinct feeling that he wanted me to tell him what happened, but I wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. I was hardly ready to admit it to myself, "Well, I'm Kloppman and I'm just going to be looking you over to see how you're doing and ask ya some questions to find out if there is something else wrong that I don't know about yet, ok?"

I nodded my head and Kloppman smiled gently and looked over all my wounds again. He took the stitches out of my neck and forehead, which was quite a relief, and he also replaced some of the blood-soaked bandages. I felt even better after he was done and answered his questions. He then told me that he would send the first newsie that came in to go find Spot for me and that I would have to stay in bed for another week and a half, which did not make me a very happy person.

I made myself as comfortable as possible as I sat up in bed and put a bunch of pillows behind me as I waited for Blink to return with my lunch. He came back up carrying a very large tray filled with food a minute later and I'm sure my eyes bugged out. I hadn't seen that much food that was for me in one place in my entire life! He laughed and shook his head as he sat down next to me and put the tray in my lap, "I guess I went a little overboard, but I didn't know how hungry you were and I knew you hadn't eaten much for a while, so I guess I went a little crazy."

"A little?" I asked with a smirk as I took a bite out of the pasta he had brought up. That earned me a knock on the head with one of the smaller pillows that had fallen on the floor and I mock-glared at him as I continued to eat all of the food that had been set before me. For the first time in years, my stomach was full and I was a very happy person.

"So, do ya know what happened to ya?" Blink asked timidly as he fiddled with his fingers. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was afraid I would hurt him for even asking.

I sighed and looked at him straight in the eye, "Blink, I'm not going to hurt you, so you can stop fidgeting. And yeah I know, I got beaten up, isn't that obvious?"

He gave me a look that told me to quit fooling around and I just smiled triumphantly, "Come on Cass, I meant do ya know who did dis to ya an when an why an all dat uddah stuff."

I propped my head on my left hand and tapped my index finger on my chin, "I just don't seem to recall!"

"Come on Cass! You can trust me, I won' tell anyone if ya don' want me to. I jist wanna help ya. Please? Won' ya let me help?" His eyes were pleading and I was slightly shocked. Why did he care anyway? That's what I wanted to know.

I sighed and shook my head, "Look Blink, I don't need help from anybody! I can take care of myself and I don't need you or Spot or anybody else protecting me! Now I'm sorry, but GET OUT!" I raged. I let my temper get away from me again and I had a feeling I would regret it this time. Blink gave me this pitiful look and made me feel horrible as he silently nodded his head and turned away and left, his head hanging low.

"Oh God now what have I done?" I whispered to myself as I sighed, Well, it was his own fault! He should've known that I don't need protection from anyone or anything! I have taken care of myself for years! And I'll be damned if I stay in bed for a week and a half! I groaned and pounded the pillow beside me with my left hand and crossed my arms over my chest. I was mad. I was being held prisoner against my will and I didn't like it one bit. I wanted to get on with my life and I was pretty sure that the wind was about to change, whether it wanted to or not. I wanted out of New York and fast. It was getting too risky. I was starting to care about the feelings of the people I had met and that was never good. I was even smiling at them! I never smiled! That was it, I had to get out of there.

I swung my legs out of bed and started to stand up but felt a wave of nausea wash over me and I crashed back down onto the bed, "Oh! Maybe later..." And I drifted off to sleep after I tugged the blankets back over me.

I knew she wasn't mad at me. She was trying to be stubborn and she was hiding something, I knew it. She couldn't fool me, even as she yelled at me. It had made me feel bad, but I saw her eyes and I knew she wasn't mad. Spot had told me about how her eyes told you all you needed to know about her. I was glad he had told me, or I really would have been a mess. I sighed as I lay down on my bunk and looked at the ceiling.

About half an hour later, Mush came running up the stairs laughing like an idiot with Race right behind him and I stood up and smiled, "Heya guys!"

"Hey Blink! Hey...aren't ya supposed ta be watchin' Cass? Brooklyn will have yer head if ya not in dere when 'e gets back."

"Hey, she tol' me ta leave, what was I supposed ta do?"

"Yeah well even though- Wait a minute! Did you say 'told' you to go? But dat woul' require her ta be awake..."

"Very good Race, tell da man what he's won!"

"Ah shut up!"

"So," Mush interrupted, he was always nervous around fights, "When did she wake up?"

"Liddle aftah I got Brooklyn ta leave an sell da afternoon edition."

Both Race and Mush gawked at me, "But dat means dat Spot don' know yet...an she's been up for dis long!?"

"Ya well, Spot tol' me ta tell 'im da second she woke up, but 'e also tol' me not ta leave 'er. So, I was waiting fer someone ta git here so I coul' get 'em ta go tell 'im. But, Ise think I'll have yous two wait here an watch Cass while I got git Brooklyn. He'll be at Tibby's, right?"

Mush nodded and he and Race went over to say hello to Cass as I headed towards the door. I was about half way down the stairs when I heard the clang of the metal lunch tray connecting with someone's skull. Then came the yelling.

"Who da Hell are ya an why woul' ya be so damn stupid as ta wake me up!?" I heard her scream at them as I guessed it was Mush that was whimpering and Race was stuttering, "Uh...Uh..."

I smiled as I walked out the front door, telling Kloppman that Mush would need some help with the bandage he would need for his head and that there was a mess in Cass' room. The old man laughed and shook his head as I ran down the street towards Tibby's.

Blink had been right, I really did need the time out of Cass' room and I was feeling pretty good as Jack and I downed our third Sarsaparilla and the other guys around cheered us on. I was about to reach for my fourth when a commotion at the front of the diner got our attention and I looked up to see Blink shoving his way up to me, "Blink, what the Hell? I tol' ya ta stay wit Cass!"

"Yeah, but ya also tol' me ta come get ya when she woke up. She's been up for awhile, but I was waitin' fer someone else ta get dere ta watch 'er so I coul' come get ya."

I grinned wildly, "Ya mean she's up?"

"Yeah, up an fighting like ah bull! She already hit Mush ovah da head wit a lunch tray fer wakin' 'er up! Coul' ya come on? Ise afraid ah what she'll do ta Race!" I laughed and shook my head as I took one last gulp of my drink and ran out the door with Blink right in front of me.

We reached the Lodging House out of breath and panting as we both stopped to catch some air. I ran up the stairs a second later and flew through the door and made my way up to Cass' room.

I was still fuming as Mush again apologized for waking me up as he rubbed his head some more. Race had gotten over his shock and was laughing at Mush, so I threw a pillow at him that caught him squarely in the face. I beamed with satisfaction and sighed as I gave up on torturing them. They both laughed as they left my room and I could hear Mush in the washroom a moment later as he and Race sang some foreign song. Must have hot dates. I thought with a smirk.

A second later, I heard the pounding of feet as someone charged up the stairs at full speed and the door swung open seconds later. And there before me was the very relieved Will that I knew so well, "Hey Will, what's up?"

He smirked and came over and gave me a big hug, Again with the hugs? What's wrong with people? Did a bug that carries a very strange disease that makes you want to hug everything bite them all? I snickered to myself as I imagined Spot hugging his slingshot and cane,

"Hey, what's so funny?"

I blushed and grinned, "Nothin' Will."

He shot me a glare and I smiled, "Oh! I'm so sorry your highness Spot!" I said with mock-apology in my voice. He just laughed again.

"So, how ya feelin'?"

"Like I should after getting beaten up...lousy!" He got a worried look on his face and I rolled my eyes, "I'm just kidding! It's not that bad! Just a little banged up is all! Sheesh! You'd think I was going to break to pieces at any second! I'm perfectly healthy! Calm down big boy!"

"Ya well..."

"Oh yeah well..." I replied, imitating his tone of voice perfectly as I laughed. He seemed happy to see me laugh and I was glad. No need in making him suffer.

"So Cass, I was wondering if maybe ya remembered what happened?"

I let out an annoyed growl, "Come on Spot! I've been asked that too much today! Can't we talk about something else?"

"Cass..." He gave me one of those looks that told me to do as he said or I'd pay the consequences. I knew he'd never do anything to me, but I didn't want to bruise his oh-so-precious ego.

"Alright, alright already! Jeez! Ok, it was two guys...bowler derbies…uh…one had a mustache..." I looked up to see this murderous look on Spot's face and that scared me. Imagine, something scaring me! "Uh...Spot...Calm down...I'm fine! OH! One of them...their name was…uh…starts with an 'O'...Oscar! That's it!"

If anything, the look got worse and I trembled a little, "Delanceys." Was all he said. With that, he stood up and punched his fist into a wall and ran his hands through his hair. I jumped as he pounded the wall and I scrunched myself even closer to the wall.

"Spot, you're scaring me," That's all it took for him to sit down again and let out a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Cass. I jist really hate dem. How coul' dey do dat ta you? How? What did dey do? What da HELL did dey do to ya? I'll kill 'em!"

"Spot, please, calm down. It's no big deal! Really! Just calm down!"

"Calm down? Calm down? Dose bastards do somethin' like dat ta you an you want me ta calm down? Dammit Cass! Dey broke yer wrist an God knows what else an you jist want me ta calm down? Yer my best friend an I love ya like a sister an dey ain't gonna git away with it!"

My lip quivered and threatened me to cry, but I wouldn't, "Spot...please...forget it...just..." I couldn't say anymore. I knew I would cry if I did and Spot looked at me confused. He didn't know what was going on inside of my heart, no one did. Those guys had taken something away from me that I couldn't ever get back and I was mad as Hell, but I was too depressed to do anything about it.

"Cass...what's wrong? What did dey do to ya? Tell me, dammit!"

"Spot...please...just...calm down you're scaring me! Please just calm down! I'll tell you what happened if you do, just...please stop scaring me like this!"

"God Cass I'm sorry! Ok, I'll stop. Jist tell me...please."

I nodded my head and took a deep breath, "Well, I was trying to come to dinner, but I ran out of breath and I had to stop. I was looking down and didn't notice until it was too late...one of them...Oscar...He grabbed me and dragged me into an alley. Then his brother came out and he...he held me from behind while...while Oscar...he got these brass knuckles on and then he started hitting me and telling me to shut up...then he...he...Oh God…I'm gonna be sick!" I cried as I jumped out of bed and ran to the washroom where I disposed of everything I had eaten into a toilet. I was shocked that my indigestion system wasn't in that bowl somewhere as well.

I closed the door and locked it as I climbed out the washroom window and onto the roof. I heard the distant banging as Spot pounded on the washroom door downstairs. I watched as the sun sank into the horizon and I cried. For the first time in so long, I cried. I let it all out, because I never wanted to cry again and I hated myself as the bitter salty tears trickled down my cheeks in streams and splashed on the ground below me.

As I finally slowed my tears and realized how dizzy I felt, I began to fall backwards. I was shocked as I heard a shuffling and someone caught me and held me against them as I started anew. I couldn't believe I was leaning on this person, but I was. I felt their hands on my back as they tried to sooth me. I crumpled to my knees and just cried. When I finally stopped my crying, I looked up to find myself face to face with the Cowboy, Jack.

My face turned beat red and I mumbled an apology as I stood up, "Hey, it's ok. I didn' think ya remembered how ta cry. I'm glad ya did though. I come up here ta watch da sunset all da time. Sorry I scared ya."

I smiled gratefully and shrugged my shoulders, "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to make you have to deal with me. I just haven't cried for so long. I wanted to get it all out. I think Spot's scared now. I didn't mean to worry him. But when I think of...never mind."

"What?" He asked me as he sat down beside me again and took a puff on his cigarette and put his arm around my shoulder, "You kin tell me. I won' tell no one. Ise got secrets ah my own and I wouldn' want anyone ta know dem. So I know what it feels like ta have a secret dat ya wanna keep inside. But, I kin guarantee dat you'll feel bettah as soon as ya tell someone."

I smiled and looked up at him, "Maybe you're right Jack. Ok, I'll tell you. But, you can't tell anyone! Not even Spot, it would just make him madder." He nodded his head and shot me an assuring grin and I smiled weakly, "Well, uh...the guys that beat me up...they also...uh..."

He sighed and cupped my chin in his hand and turned my head to look at him, "Dey raped ya, didn' they?" I nodded my head and a few tears sprang to my eyes. I should have known, once I open the flood gates, they never close. He nodded his head with me and pulled me to him for another hug, "It'll be ok. I won' tell 'im unless you want me to, ok? Yer secret's safe wit me." I smiled gratefully and stood up, wiping my eyes.

"Thanks Jack, for listening and putting up with me like this."

"Hey, anytime," with that he tipped his cowboy hat at me and climbed down the fire escape and into the bunk room. I sighed and quietly snuck back into the bathroom and closed the window. Spot was still banging on the door and I flushed the toilet and washed my face before I weakly unlocked the door so he wouldn't hear and then I snuck out another one and back into the main bunkroom.

"Hey guys." I smiled meekly and shrugged my shoulders.

Blink walked over and slung his arm around my shoulders, "Heya Cass! I thought Kloppy said ya had ta stay in bed?" He questioned me with this suspicious spark in his eyes.

"Ah come on! I'll live! I don't need to be in bed for a week and a half to prove that I'm healthy! In fact, I feel-" I didn't get to finish as a wave of dizziness washed over me and I started to fall. Blink caught me and scooped me up.

"Yeah, real healthy Cass."

"Ah come on! I don't want to stay in bed!" I whined. I sounded like a small child and it was driving me out of my mind. Blink carried me back to my room and Will gave me a look that made me start laughing hysterically. First, he looked at me, then at the washroom door, then back at me. His eyebrows went up and then he blushed as he realized that there were two doors to the washroom. I couldn't stop laughing as Blink put me down in bed and I grinned widely, "Thanks Blink!" I smiled and gave him a hug, which I think scared him. I don't think he was ready for a hug from me and I just smiled. "Now, could ya please go get me some dinner? I'm starved!" I added in my best saucy grin for effect and he rolled his eyes and went downstairs to get me some dinner.

"Cass? Are you feelin' alright?" Will asked me timidly and I just rolled my eyes.

"I'm fine Spot!"

"Ok...if ya say so...but...Why did ya lock me outtah da washroom like dat?" "I didn't think you would want to see my lunch the second time around if you know what I mean."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So, what made ya so sick?"

I thought about telling him, but decided against it for now, "Uh...nothing. Just the thought of those two goons coming near me is all. Not to mention I'm still a little dizzy. I don't want to take up your whole evening. You go on out and play poker with the guys. I'll be ok. Besides, knowing Blink, he'll stay with me until I'm done eating, then I'm going to bed. See you in the morning!" I smiled enthusiastically as I gave him a hug and shoved him towards the door. He was also too baffled about the hug to argue and he walked out the door scratching his head in confusion.

I grinned and giggled despite myself and sighed, Guys are so easy to confuse!

The days passed by similar to this for about a week. Every morning I would be up bright and early and sitting up in bed and Kloppman would bring me breakfast on his way to wake up the guys. Then Spot would come in and say goodbye, but I would always just wave or nod in recognition. Later, Kloppman would come up and talk to me while he cleaned up and Blink or Race or Jack would come by and bring me lunch from Tibby's and sit and talk with me while they waited for the afternoon edition to come out. Will would always come and eat dinner with me before he went to Medda's or to play poker and I would go to bed happy.

Then, one morning, I got this strange feeling as I first woke up and sighed. I sat up and waited for Kloppman to come in. He sat a silver tray with some toast and jam and a glass of orange juice on it and started to leave, "Kloppman...wait."

The kind old man turned and smiled, "Yes dear?"

"Which direction is the wind blowing?"

He gave me an odd look and shook his head, "West." I nodded solemnly and thanked him.

It's time for me to go then. I sighed as I remembered that the wind had been blowing north when I got to New York and now it was blowing West, which meant I was headed for...I looked around the room and spotted an old book, Trials of the Oregon Trail. Oregon, I was going to Oregon. I sighed and silently ate my breakfast quickly.

Will came in on clockwork and sat down beside me, "See ya tonight Cass, g'bye!"

I smiled sweetly and gave him a quick hug, "Bye Spot."

He gave me a funny look and shook his head as he walked out the door to catch up with the others. I sighed, "I kept my promise this time Will, I kept my promise."

I stood up and searched quickly through my bag and pulled out my deep gray pants and my good crème shirt and stuffed the clothing I was wearing into the bag. I hated to take them, but Race and Blink had insisted that I just keep them when I had tried to give them back before. After I got dressed, I pulled my hair up under my gray hat and laced my old black boots tightly and checked in the mirror to make sure I looked alright.

It would be hard to hop on and off a train with my still-fractured wrist, but I could always walk for a few days or change my landings a little until my wrist healed. I wrote a quick note and put in on the outside of my door with the breakfast tray. It just explained to Kloppman that I was sleeping and to please not wake me up. I knew it was lying, but I didn't want to take the chance of him telling one of the other newsies before I was long gone.

I climbed down the fire escape with my bag over my shoulder and closed the window behind me. It was getting cooler out again and I shivered as a sudden wind swept through my clothing and chilled me to the bone. I regretted having to leave, but the wind never lied to me. I got to the bus depot and decided to pay for the train ride to Oregon this time, I didn't want to chance re-braking my wrist again and it wasn't really that much.

I sat on the cushioned seat and watched as the train lurched forward and soon sped up, going faster and faster every minute. Soon, New York was out of sight, along with all the people I had grown so very attached to. A few tears trickled down my cheek and I wiped them away quickly, telling myself it was for the best. I settled down and took a long nap as the rocking of the train swiftly soothed my nerves.

I checked a clock hanging in a store window to assure that I wasn't late for lunch. It was my day to eat with Cass and I was hoping that I could get her to tell me what had happened to her. I sighed as I carried the two bags of food through the door at the Lodging House and shot a hello at Kloppman. "Oh boy! Wait Blink! Cass was taking a nap this morning and I don't know if she's awake yet. So be careful, you know her moods," I nodded my head. I thought it was odd that she had taken a nap so early in the day, but I pushed it out of my mind and walked up the stairs carefully, to be sure not to make the cartons of Clam chowder in the bags tip over, which would create a soppy mess.

As I reached the top of the stairs, I walked gingerly over to her room and eased the door open, setting the bags on the nightstand as I watched the lump in Cass' bed that was definitely not moving. I grinned and shook it, "Come on Cass, dat's enough beauty sleep fer da day! Wake up," I laughed and pulled the covers back. What I saw did not make me a happy person. Cass was not in bed, it was a bunch of pillows. I had an urgent feeling in my gut that she was gone and I raced through the house, searching high and low. I checked the roof as a last resort and she wasn't there either. I slumped against the wall back in Cass' room. I felt completely defeated and deflated. It's all my fault. I shoul' have stayed with her! She would still be here if I hadn' been so blind! But I knew it wasn't my fault deep down, how could I have known? I hadn't even seen her all day.

I sighed as I stood up and walked back down the stairs to tell Kloppman and to tell Spot. The chowder was forgotten on the bedroom nightstand as I walked aimlessly towards Tibby's. Spot would be there, he was always there for lunch. My steps began to slow and my feet seemed harder to drag along as I got closer to the restaurant, I didn't want to tell him, I didn't want to have to tell him that she was gone. It didn't seem fair that he should lose her so soon. It didn't seem fair that I had to lose her so soon. I hadn't realized how deeply she had affected me until then. I knew I cared about her and felt a deep connection, but I had always thought it was because of the mills and the coughing. But maybe it had been something more. Give it up Blink, you'll nevah know, she's gone now. As I walked through the front door, I picked Spot out immediately and sauntered over to him, forcing my legs to work,

"Hey Spot," I mumbled as I sat down next to him.

"Hey Blink! I thought it was yer day ta eat lunch wit Cass? Won' she be missin' ya?"

I just shook my head sorrowfully and looked over at him pathetically, "She won' be missin' me…she's gone..."

He gave me this desperate look and grabbed me by the shirt, "Whaddo you mean 'gone'?"

I sighed loudly and shook my head again, "Jist as I said, she's gone. Ise went ta give 'er lunch an she was gone. Dere was a bunch a pillows under 'er covers an 'er bag was gone, so is she."

Spot nodded his head solemnly and looked at the ground for a minute, "Well, uh, ya bettah tell da uddah guys…I gotta git back ta Brooklyn...See ya 'round Blink..." I nodded my head and patted him on the shoulder sympathetically and he shot me a weak smile and headed out the door.

I sighed again and stood up on a chair, "Hey guys!" I yelled over the commotion around the room, "Guys! Shut up! I gotta tell ya somethin'!" I waited a moment longer and everyone looked up at me.

"What? Are you an Cass gettin' hitched?" Race called to me and I shot him a glare.

"What da Hell is dat supposed ta mean?" I raged through gritted teeth. I was upset as it was that she was gone, I didn't need to be mocked right then.

"Ah come on, we've all seen it. Ya go starry eyed ev'ry time someone mentions 'er!" Mush grinned and wriggled his eyebrows. I knocked him upside his head and rolled my eyes.

"Shut up! Come on guys! I gotta tell ya somethin'!"

"Well what is it already?" Jack asked, he was obviously annoyed and that wasn't good.

"It's Cass...she's gone…I went ta give 'er lunch tahday an she was gone. I think she hopped a train 'er sumthin'," Everyone looked down and Race slapped me on the back and apologized for teasing me, which was rare for him, especially when his teasing had no fact base...or did it? I wasn't sure about anything anymore. The guys murmured amongst themselves and I headed back to the Lodging House, I needed to ask Kloppman a quick question.

"Hey Kloppy!" I called as I slammed the door behind me. He came out of the back room mumbling something about how teenagers today had no respect for their elders,

"What?"

"Dis mornin', did Cass act funny at all?"

Kloppman looked thoughtfully at the ceiling for a moment, "As a matter ah fact, yes. She said that she was tired and was going to take a nap and not to wake her. Then she asked me which way the wind was blowing...Kinda strange question…but I told her anyway."

I smiled and looked urgently at him, "Which way is it blowing??"

"West...why?"

"No reason! Thanks Kloppy!" I ran out the door and straight to the train yards, "West, west...let's see...the only thing going west is...Oregon..." I quit talking to myself momentarily as I looked for the times that it left, "Dammit!" I yelled, "I'm too late! Da damn train left two hours ago!" I huffed and puffed as I caught my breath and leaned against a pole to take a smoke. I needed to relax. I really had lost her now, we all had. It just wasn't fair. Cass was so good and nice, why did she have to leave us? I asked myself this for days after she had left, but always came up with nothing. I almost brought myself to go to Oregon to look for her, but then realized that Oregon was big and there was no way that I would find her, because I didn't know the name she would use. Goodbye Storm. I thought to myself as I walked back to the distribution center. I smiled at the nickname I had givin her myself at one of our lunches earlier in the week.

At that point, I realized just how much I was going to miss Cass and I sighed. I'll nevah see 'er again...I'll nevah see Storm, that wonderful goil dat had dat great spark in 'er eye when she was laughin' at ya...or dat great blue when she was confused...or dat gray an green when she was mad. I'll miss 'er. I bought my hundred papers then and set myself to selling them as fast as I could.

I couldn't believe she was gone. My Cass was gone again. She had left me. But I smiled as she had kept her promise. She had said goodbye. It's my fault she's gone! I should 'ave known she was leavin' when she said g'bye! She nevah said g'bye b'fore dat! Not once! An I had ta go an let 'er go! It's my fault! I leaned against the Brooklyn Bridge that I knew so well and realized that I was standing in the spot that Cass and I used to meet at when we were nine. I took an angry puff at my cigarette and flicked it over the side of the bridge.

There was a deep pain in my chest and it ached and pounded inside of me. It seemed to put pressure on the rest of me until there was a buzzing in my ear. Cass was gone and it was my fault. I loved her so much, she was my sister at heart, and she was gone all over again. It hurt so much the first time, but not like now. Now it was this deep pain that surged through me. I thought I would die from losing her. Losing her meant losing a part of myself. Cass was everything that I wasn't. She was everything that I had ever wanted to be! She made me try to be the best in New York because I wanted her to be proud of me in case she ever came back.

I would never tell anyone about all that. My feelings were a well guarded secret that I never intended to let loose. I prayed that she would come back again, that she would come see me again. I would die if I never saw her again. I never got to tell her how I felt, but I had a deep feeling that she knew. Dammit Spot! If she knew, then why did she leave? I knew deep down that I would never understand why she left or why she acted the way she did. All I knew was that she was who she was and no one could tame her.

I soon realized that even if someone could change and tame Cass, I wouldn't want them to. The way Cass acted and what she did was part of who she was and I didn't ever want her to change. I wished deep down in my heart that she would come back, but I knew that if she didn't, I would be ok, because she was just being herself.

Even as I thought about it then, I realized that Cass would probably never come back, but every day when I woke up, I would make a silent prayer to God to keep her safe and bring her back to me, that's all I wanted. I sighed as I pushed myself from the railing of the bridge and meandered back to Brooklyn, where I buried myself in my duties as leader. I thought to myself that if I kept to my work, my priorities, then Cass would come back to me because God wouldn't take her away forever.

I hopped off the train a few days later, Oregon...are you home? I sighed as I began to walk down the streets in search of a new home. I wandered down an old trail and came across a cabin a while later and sighed in content as I discovered it was abandoned.

I went inside and lit a fire. It was nice and warm within a half hour. I was happy as I searched the cabin and found a trunk of dresses and other clothing in the bedroom. I smiled and looked through all the clothes, finding a few pieces that I liked particularly.

The next few weeks were filled with me cooped up in the cabin cleaning. It was odd that I had stayed so long, but I felt content there and winter had set in, making it too dangerous to travel to a new place anyway. I made my meals from old supplies in the cupboards and I used a rifle I found and shot a deer, which kept me in meat for much of the winter.

As surrounded in the cabin I became, I still found my mind wandering back to Will and Blink and the others every day. I would tell myself that it was over and that I couldn't go back, but my mind wouldn't listen to me. I gave in after a while and accepted that I would dream about them and think about them at least once every day. I soon became fond of the little cabin in the woods and didn't mind spending the winter there. I cleaned and cooked and stayed out of town as much as possible. To people that I did happen to meet by mistake I called myself Jenni. At first, I didn't realize that I had brought Blink back into my life like that unconsciously, but when I did, I just smiled. I hadn't realized how much I would miss all of them. I didn't know how much of an impression people could make on you, Is this what people call family, longing, and love? I would ask myself as I sighed in front of the fire and watched as the flames leapt into the air, sparking and swirling in a sea of red and I got lost in it. No longer was my heart covered in ice, but a deep fire that burned brightly, keeping my feelings for all of my friends in New York alive.

I sat outside on a stump in the front of the tiny yard of the cabin. It was hard to believe that when spring had come, I had stayed in Oregon. Summer had come and gone and so had Fall. It was once again the end of October and it had been an entire year. I could hardly believe it. I had just felt as if I was meant to stay there for a very long time.

I sat there fiddling with a crown of dandelions that I had twirled together quickly and spun it on my finger and then plucked it on my head. That's when this strange feeling came over me and I was overpowered by thunderous memories of the guys in New York. I smiled and walked inside. But everywhere I turned, there were signs of New York. I hadn't noticed at first just how much my mind had made me remember. I just wanted to be free of the memories. It made me upset that I couldn't see the guys.

I packed up a suitcase that I had found in a closet of the cabin with my old clothes as well as some of the ones I had liked from the chest in the bedroom. I dug under a loose floorboard and got out my money and counted it quickly. I also grabbed the money that had been left in a drawer by the former occupants and changed quickly into a white fall dress that I had found. It had some lace on it and the sleeves were long. It didn't have a high neck like a lot of dresses, but more of a slight scoop, which I preferred greatly. Also, it went down to my ankles but the skirt of it was nice and loose, it didn't hug me like so many dresses did. I pulled on my old shoes and laced them up and checked the full length mirror that was in the corner of the bedroom.

My hair had grown considerably longer and was now somewhere near the small of my back and I had half of it pulled back with a ribbon so it would be out of my face. All of my features had matured a lot and I looked older, different. I laid the crown of dandelions on the dresser and pulled a long dark gray coat on and picked up my suitcase and I was on my way. As I made my way through town, I nonchalantly picked up a loaf of bread from a vender and stuck it under my coat while the owner was yelling at a teen for stealing. I snickered and stopped in front of the train yards and bought myself a ticket that would take me straight to New York City. I knew that was where I had to go. I had this feeling that told me that was where I belonged.

As I waited for my train to arrive, I sat down on a bench and spotted a young mother with a small girl with her that couldn't have been more than six curled up in a ball in a corner, trying to keep warm. I looked down at the loaf of bread in my hand and walked over to them along with a little money. A year ago I would have thought I was crazy to be giving up my food, but now it seemed right, "Here you go, you get yourself a nice warm blanket to keep you and that little girl of yours warm. Oh, I'll be leaving town for quite a while, so if you need some place to stay, my cabin is down Logging Road. It's the third to the left. You'll know it because it has four large trees in the front yard and the windows have white lace curtains. Now I insist you stay there for the winter if you don't have a place. There are some clothes in the chest that you are welcome to and plenty of wood for the fire. If you can get the neighbor Jim to teach you how to shoot a rifle, there's one over the front door that works. You can get yourself a deer to eat. Ok?" The young woman smiled and gave me a hug as did the little girl, who handed me a dandelion,

"Thank you so very much."

"Oh, it's no trouble. I know what it's like to not have anywhere to go or anyone to turn to. You head on over there and get yourselves warm. Stay as long as you need to, alright?" The woman nodded and hugged me again and they got up and headed over to the store to get a blanket as the little girl munched on the loaf of bread.

I smiled to myself as I sat back down on the bench and waited. I was startled as I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. As I turned around, I recognized him as the man that had givin me my ticket, "Yes?"

He sat down next to me and smiled, "I saw what you did for those two. They've been here too long and I felt bad, but I couldn't do anything. I'm glad you did."

I smiled, "It's easy to do good when you've got people to do it for, that deserve it."

He nodded his head and handed me five dollars, "What's this for?"

"Your ticket. It's on the house. You deserve it," He patted me on the back and went back to his station. I smiled at him as my train pulled up and I picked up my bag and took one last look at Oregon and climbed on gracefully and the attendant helped me put my bag on the train,

"Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome miss. Have a nice trip," he tipped his hat and walked away to help another passenger.

A few moments later, the train began to chug and the attendant called for final boarding and the car lurched forward and the whistle blew as it pulled out of the station and I left Oregon. I smiled contentedly to myself as I logged Oregon in my notebook and looked at the dates. It was hard to believe that I had stayed there for nearly a year. I looked at New York with awe, I hardly made it a week. About two weeks was all I made it there. But this time, I won't give up or run away.

I sighed as I returned my notebook to the suitcase and closed my eyes for a long awaited nap. I realized then that I had grown a lot in the past year, that I was no longer the unfeeling girl I used to be. I cared, a lot, about everyone and everything in life. I was still Cass, I was still tough, but now, I cared. I just hoped that Will would still take me back. I was also grateful to Blink, he had kept me out of mills and out of trouble. My cough was gone because of him and I was healthy. I owed him a lot, including my life. I found myself anxious to see him too.

"Blink, what looks good tahday?"I heard Mush ask me.

"Oh...uh...I don' know. You see anything?"

Mush sighed and shook his head, "I know, it's hard. Da one year anniversary is always da hardest. But, it gets easier, I promise." He patted me on the back and I smiled.

"How'd ya know dat was what I was t'inkin' of?"

He smiled at me, "It wasn' dat hard, Blink. Yer my best friend, I know ya bettah den anybody, right?"

I smiled and we went off to carry the banner. It was different with Cass gone. Who knew that one girl could change us so much in such a small amount of time. I missed her a lot and so did Spot. We talked about her sometimes, but we tried not to bring it up, it made us upset.

We worked hard all day and were exhausted by lunch time. We stumbled into Tibby's and sat down at our usual booth with Jack, Race and Boots, "Hey guys," Mush mumbled as he ordered his sandwich and lemonade. I grinned as well as I could and ordered the same, "Jeez, Blink! Ya really need ta take it easy! I know dat yer jist tryin' ta keep yerself from thinkin' of 'er, but workin' yerself too hard ain't gonna help!"Jack complained. I grunted as we slowly ate my lunch and made small talk.

Finally! After seven days in a train car! I made it! I smiled to myself as I stepped off the train platform and set my bag down beside me. My instincts came back and I remembered where Tibby's was. I guessed that was where everyone would be at lunch time and I was very hungry anyway. I sighed and lifted my bag up and carried it all the way to Tibby's.

I found myself enjoying the familiar sites of New York and for reasons unbeknownst to me, I had a strange feeling floating around inside me, then it hit me, I'm home! I've finally found my home! I grinned as I pulled open the diner door and stepped inside.

My eyes adjusted quickly and I looked around. I had been right, Blink and the others were there. I was a bit upset that Spot wasn't there too, but I understood that he lived in Brooklyn, he wouldn't be in Manhattan all the time. They were even in the same booth they had been in that day I had run into Will a year before. I couldn't believe how happy it made me to see them. I then became aware of the catcalls I was receiving from some of the other newsies in the diner and I blushed slightly as I set my bag down in an empty booth and plopped down beside it.

A waiter came over to me a moment later and poured me a glass of water, "Is there anything else I can get you miss?"

I smiled warmly, I had never noticed how kind waiters were and I was ashamed at how rude I had been to some of them in the past, "Yes, please. I would like a large bowl of your best clam chowder and...oh! Could you bring me a glass of sweetened iced tea?"

The waiter nodded his head and I thanked him and he went on his way. I sipped at my water for a moment as I got up my courage to see Blink and the others again, Oh God what if they really hates me this time? What if I don't have a chance to apologize? What if I have nowhere to go? I was so busy worrying that I hadn't even taken the time to realize that it had been exactly a year since I had left.

I finally sucked up my breath and walked over to the booth. I smiled sweetly as the guys poked each other in the ribs and pointed to me quietly and they all got very quiet, "Hello guys. How are you?" I was too chicken to tell them right away and another newsie hopped up and put a chair under me so I could sit down with the boys.

"Uh...do we know you?" Mush asked timidly. I had to snicker to myself, he always did stutter when he got nervous about something.

I caught Jack's eye and his eyes bugged out, he was sitting on the outside of the booth and he opened his mouth to spoil my secret and I kicked him in the shin, "Ow!" he yelped.

Race looked at him, obviously startled, "What's da mattah wit you?" Jack looked up at me and I shook my head slightly, only enough so he could see and he grimaced,

“Nothing.? "Ok Jacky-boy..." Race shook his head and Jack gave me an ecstatic look and grinned wildly. I shot him a saucy smile back and he started laughing so hard that he nearly choked on his drink. I smirked and he just glared at me.

"So, miss, can we help you?" Mush asked timidly.

I smiled even wider, "Well, you already are, I'm here to see some old friends, so that's what I'm doing, Mush." He looked rather startled that I knew his name and he gawked at me as I rolled my eyes.

"So, how's Brooklyn? Spot didn't let it fall apart, did he?"

The guys looked awfully suspicious of me and shook their head, "Uh....no...what are you talkin' 'bout anyways?" Race asked.

I just smiled mischievously and moved on to Blink, "Blink...I wanted you to know…Storm kept her promise," I whispered so that only he could hear. He too nearly choked on his drink and he looked deep into my eyes and jumped up and picked me up, swinging me around,

"You came back! She came back everyone! She came back!" He yelled as he twirled me around the diner in his arms and I laughed wildly as I begged him to put me down, but deep down, I got this feeling that I didn't want him to put me down. He smirked and grinned sheepishly as he finally put me down and I wobbled a bit at first.

Race stood up and came over to me, "What is goin' on here? Who came back? Who is dis?"

I motioned with my finger for him to come closer and I got right up to his ear, "Do you really not remember me, Race? Ya don' remember good ol' Cass?"

He pulled back and gasped as I grinned again and he pulled me in for a hug, "God! Ya look so different! I missed ya! But, ya did come back, didn' ya?"

I smiled and returned the hug, "Yup!"

He pulled back and looked me straight in the eye for a minute, "Are ya here ta stay?" He asked. He looked as thought he was almost afraid of the answer. I grinned and laughed, "Yes, I'm here to stay. I'm finally home."

The entire diner erupted into applause and I blushed self consciously and smiled. Jack gave me a big bear hug and whispered that he had kept my secret. I squeezed him tight and nodded, "Thank you, Jack." He smiled and nodded his head and I was spun to another newsie.

I got caught up in it all and all the guys were raving about how different I looked and about how much that I had changed that I don't even recall ever getting my chowder or ice tea, but that was ok because I had my family back. I couldn't believe that it had taken me that long to realize that they truly were my family. I suppose that sometimes it takes a year being away from a person to realize how you feel about them.

It was late that same night and Kloppman had givin me the entire third floor of the Lodging House to do with what I please. He was such a kind old man and I loved him like a grandfather that I never had. He was sweet and kind and took care of everyone like they were his family. I had changed out of my dress and was in one of my older outfits. I pulled my hair up into a sloppy bun and tucked my hair under my hat and climbed out onto the roof and sat down to watch the city before me, my home.

Someone cleared their throat behind me and I sighed, "Up here again Cowboy?"

I was surprised when someone else sat down beside me and threw their arm over my shoulder, "Nah, it's jist me Cass."

"Hey Blink! What're you doing up here?"

"I heard ya come up. I needed ta talk to ya...is dat ok?" I smiled at him and nodded, "Sure! Why wouldn't it be? What's up?"

He looked a little nervous, "Come on Blink, spit it out! Ya know that I can read what you're thinking in your eyes anyway." He smiled that winning smile and I nearly melted. I couldn't believe it. I had this strange new feeling inside of me for Blink that I didn't understand. I had never felt anything like it before and it scared me. It was like something that made my heart pump faster and my breath fall short and my stomach do back flips all at the same time. I panicked.

"Uh...Blink. Could this wait? I'm really tired...I need some sleep. Yeah," Before he could reply, I raced down my fire escape and into my room and collapsed on my bed, What just happened? I asked myself as I buried my face in my pillow. What's going on with me and why do I feel this way? It's like every time I'm around him I get really jittery and freeze up...Do I have a disease? I closed my eyes to try to think, but all I succeeded in doing was falling asleep, and a restless sleep at that.

I sat there on the roof awfully dumbfounded. "What just happened here?" I asked myself as I rubbed the back of my head and sighed. I had wanted to tell her what was going through my mind. I had wanted her to trust me. I wanted to get her to tell me what happened when she had gotten hurt and where she had been for that year. I had missed her so terribly and she had just run away from me like she was scared of me or something. I didn't understand her, not at all, but I wanted to. I sighed and wondered if she would ever realize how much I cared about her.

As I sat on the edge of the roof smoking my cigarette, I sighed and flicked it over the side, I wasn't in the mood to smoke,

"Women trouble?" I heard a voice ask from behind me and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I turned to discover Jack standing behind me, How does he do dat? I shrugged my shoulders, "How'd ya guess?"

He smirked, "Numbah one, I'm Jack Kelly, an one ah yer best friends, I know ev'ryt'ing, numbah two, when a guy takes jist one puff on a cigarette b'fore tossin' it, ya know dere's sumthin' goin' on in deir head." I grinned and rolled my eyes at Jack's ego trip and rolled my eyes. Jack then whacked me over the head lightly.

"Hey!"

"Don' evah roll yer eyes at me! When will ya git dat through yer thick skull?"

"When you quit actin' like da King of New York."

He gave me an approving nod and shook his head, "Funny Blink, real funny. Anyways, what's up?"

"Actually it's Cass- I jist can't get 'er outtah my head, ya know?"

Jack smirked at me and sighed, "Well, Ise sure dat it'll all work out fer da best. "He patted me on the back and sat down next to me, "What's got 'er on ya mind anyways?"

"Well...Ise not real sure. She was up 'ere a few minutes ago, an suddenly she acted like she couldn' wait ta get away from me an ran downstairs. I don' undahstand dat goil! All I wanted ta do was tawlk wit 'er..."

Jack snorted and looked at me like I was stupid, "Well Blink, if ya can't fig're out what's goin' on, maybe ya don' deserve to. But-I kin tell ya one t'ing. I suggest ya realize it soon, b'fore it's too late ta do somethin' 'bout it." With that, he got up and headed back down to the bunkroom, "Oh an Blink, I think you'll find dat she feels da same way. Night." With that, he disappeared down the fire escape, leaving me completely confused. What the hell was that supposed ta mean? Who feels da same way? Same way 'bout what? I sighed and trudged downstairs, wanting very badly to climb into bed and try to forget that I had so much on my mind I could bust. I hauled myself into bed and drifted off into a restless sleep.

I woke up early the next morning. I wanted to get ready so I could go surprise Spot in Brooklyn. He was still my best friend and I couldn't wait to see him. I hopped out of bed and pulled my white dress back on and yanking on my worn black boots, lacing them up tightly. Then I walked over to the washroom and pulled the brush through my thick golden brown hair and tied up the top half of it with a white ribbon. I didn't really like wearing all the girly stuff, but I wanted to be sure that I surprised Will when I saw him again. I double checked myself in the mirror before grabbing a soft gray shawl from my closet and wrapping it around my shoulders, heading out my bunkroom door, grabbing some loose change on the way out.

I walked for a long time, only stopping once to get a quick sausage biscuit from a vendor with some hot chocolate to wash it down. I licked my lips and wrung my hands in anticipation as I crossed the bridge, pausing half way across to look at the view, silently wondering if Will still yelled over the side like we used to as kids. A warm smile found its way to my lips and I sighed, content in knowing that I was about to see Will again, knowing that I could finally tell him I'd never leave him again. I continued my long walk and arrived at the docks during the break time between the morning and afternoon edition. I felt the newsies eyes on me as I made my way down the docks, my eyes set on Will's form, who sat on top of a stack of crates, surveying his boys.

I took a deep breath as I reached the end of the dock and looked up at him, shading my face with one of my hands. He eyed me curiously and jumped down from the crates, landing inches in front of me and I smiled at him, he always was one to make a show of himself.

"Hello, Will." He looked at me, complete un-comprehension on his face and I smiled warmly, reaching up and tracing his jaw line with my hand, "You haven't changed a bit in this last year?I missed you."

His eyes suddenly lit up with a bit of recognition and he got close to me, tracing my face with his own hand, "Cass? Is it really you? Ya look so different..." My lip trembled and I nodded, not trusting my own voice. I really had changed in this last year, I was about to break down into tears over seeing him again. My eyes shown a bright blue, the happiest color I had in them, and he hugged me tightly, swinging me around.

"Come on, Spot. Put me down...please!" He smiled mischievously and set me down. "I seem to have the same effect on men...You must be allergic, every time you see me, you spin me around like a carousel!" He laughed and gave me another hug, which surprised me, because my Will was never one for emotion.

"Cass, I'm so glad ya came back..."

"Yes, well the news gets better...Guess what?" "What?"

"I finally found where I belong-I've found a place to call home! I had to come and tell you!"

His face fell for a moment, and I realized that he must think that I was going to leave, that my home was somewhere else. "Really? That's great Cass...I'm glad yer finally happy..."

"Will, you don't understand!"

"Of course I do! Ya found a home...ya finally found someplace that makes ya happy, so now yer gonna go off an go there...Yer gonna leave me an da guys again."

"No! Ya don'-"

"Yes I do undahstand! Ya leavin'! Why ya always leavin' me?"

"Spot! I'm not leavin'! My home is here! I'm never leavin' again!"

"I don' care what excuse-" he suddenly looked up at me, quite happy if I do say so myself, "Wha...What did ya jist say?"

I laughed at him and shook my head, "I said that I'm not leaving. My home is here. I came back because I found my home, and it's right here with you and the other guys. I won't ever leave you again, I promise."

His eyes lit up and he let out a cry of joy, lifting me up all over again and spinning me around. By this time his newsies thought for sure he'd gone completely nuts, and quite frankly, I did too. Will just didn't act like this, it wasn't in his nature. But I was still thoroughly enjoying him in this good mood. After he had finally calmed down and agreed to stay calm, we went out to lunch to celebrate in Little Italy. I'd never been there, and he insisted that a place called Milano's was too good to pass up, so that's where we went, and I enjoyed the best Fettuccini I'd ever had in my life.

After we were done with lunch, Spot brought me back to Brooklyn, where he grabbed some stuff from his room and we walked back to Manhattan.

"Cass, what time did ya leave dis mornin'?"

"I dunno, b'fore da uddah guys woke up."

He gave me one of those looks like he couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Ya mean ta tell me dat ya left wit' out dem knowin'? Did ya leave a note?"

"No-Why in Hell would I do that?" He gave me another one of those looks, only this one seemed to say, 'I can't believe yer so damn stupid'. "What?" I asked him, now I was confused.

"Think about it Cass, ya got a track record ah runnin' away out ah no where. What do ya think da guys thought when ya weren't dere dis mornin'?"

"Shit," I stated flatly, finally getting it. They thought I had run off for sure.

Spot nodded, "Shit, indeed. Come on, we gotta get back dere b'fore dey get really worried." He grabbed my hand and we ran all the way back to Manhattan, where I endured a number of lectures from Blink, Jack, and Spot. I sighed and grimaced through all of them. How was I supposed to know they'd worry? I wasn't used to that! At least they hugged me out of glee that I wasn't dead or out of town first?then the lectures came. We spent the evening at Tibby's, then playing cards. It was late when we finally all fell into our own beds and I welcomed sleep with open arms.

I couldn't sleep, there was too much on my mind. I needed to talk to Cass. She had opened up to me before, why not again. I sighed as I hopped down from my bunk as silently as possible and made my way up the flight of stairs to Cass' bunkroom. It had been a long time since there had been any other girls in the house, and I smiled as I walked through the familiar door again.

All the other girls had long since moved into a girls lodging house in the Bronx and I missed having a girl to go talk to when I needed advice or was just plain sick of all the guys. I contemplated knocking on the door, but I was afraid that if she was asleep, I would wake her, and everyone had learned that hard way that waking Cass up meant her releasing Hell and horrors on whoever had done it.

So instead of knocking, I gently turned the handle and peered in to the large bunkroom. I saw a lump on the bunk that was closest to the fire escape and I shivered and rubbed my bare arms as I realized that she had left her window open. I tiptoed over to the window as quietly as I could to close it. The only sounds that could be heard were my feet padding lightly on the damp wooden plank floor and her light even breathing. As I closed the window and looked at her as the moon hit her face, I realized how peaceful she looked when she was sleeping.

I sighed and decided to wait until morning to talk to her and began to head back to the door when I heard a slight whimper and looked over at her as she began to roll over and I saw a glint of a tear roll down her cheek as it caught the moonlight. "No...please..." she moaned as another tear rolled down her cheek and she began to toss and turn, the sheets tangling around her so she couldn't move. She was sweating and she began to whimper and cry as her nightmare progressed and I raced back to her and sat down beside her,

"Come on Cass...wake up..." I shook her shoulders but it seemed to just make her worse. I was afraid she would hurt herself so I pinned her wrists to the bed and whispered in her ear, trying to sooth her, "It's ok Cass, wake up, it's jist a dream..." But nothing seemed to work. I spotted a glass of water on the nightstand and reached over and grabbed it and poured it over her face. She was still whimpering lightly and soon she shot straight up and her head knocked against mine and I jumped back in surprise, "Ow!" I moaned as I rubbed my forehead.

I soon forgot the bruise as she was still hysterical and crying harshly. I pulled her close and hugged her tight, "Come on Cass, it'll be ok. Yer jist havin' a bad dream, come on now, quit dose tears." She continued to sniffle as she clung on to me for dear life.

"Please, make them stop. Make them stop," she cried harshly into my shirt as she coughed lightly and hiccuped.

"Don' worry Cass, dey ain't evah gonna hurt you again, ok? Don' worry. Come on now, Shh. Shh. It's all going to be ok. Yer gonna be ok," she looked up at me desperately and gave me another hug and settled back down.

"Thanks Jack, for helping me again." She hiccuped again and I smiled and handed her my bandana and she wiped her eyes.

"Dere now, ya ok?"

She nodded her head and smiled weakly, "Thanks Jack, I don't know what happened. I haven't had a nightmare for a while, but they come every now and then. I just see them coming at me...Oh God it makes me sick..."

I nodded my head and smiled at her, "Do ya wanna tell me who did dat to ya?"

I watched her intently as she sighed and nodded her head, "Ya mean Spot didn't tell you?"

I shook my head, Brooklyn knew and didn' tell us? "No, he didn'. Who was it?"

She took a deep breath, I could tell this wasn't easy for her, "Well, I'll never forget their faces. They were ugly and both of them had these bowler derbies on…one of them had a mustache and they both had black hair...One of them...Oscar...he's the one that hurt me while the other one held me still. I think they were brothers or something...Oh God it was horrible!"

I was filled with a deep rage for the Delanceys. They were scum that didn't deserve to live and I hated them with a passion. I wanted to see them dead and much more. Cass didn't deserve to have anything like that happen to her, let alone by the Delanceys. I cared about her so much and so did everyone else that knew her. I was glad that she had come back to us and my only wish was that she had come home sooner. "It was da Delanceys..."

"Yeah..." I heard her sniffle loudly as she closed her eyes and let out a slow breath, "That's what Spot told me too...You know them?"

I nodded my head slowly. I wish I didn't know them, but if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to punish 'em for hurting Cass da way dey did, an I want 'em ta suffer so bad...I groaned slightly and watched as Cass began to lie back down, "Ya want me ta go now?"

She shook her head and held my hand lightly, "Jack? Would you mind staying with me tonight? Just in case I have another nightmare? You could sleep on the bunk across from me...please?" I smiled as I saw a desperate look in her now-grayish blue eyes and I sighed,

"Sure Cass. I'll stay wit ya tahnight. Are ya sure ya don' mind?"

She shook her head and sighed contently and her hand went slack. She was finally asleep and I smiled to myself and climbed into the bunk across from her. I would be right there for her if she were to have another nightmare. I closed my eyes and it was suddenly a lot easier to fall asleep.

I smiled contently as I drifted off to sleep. I felt better just knowing that Jack would be there if I were to have another nightmare, What would I ever do without these guys? Simple, you'd be hard as a rock an dying of a lung disease, I answered myself and sighed again as I finally fell to sleep.

The next morning, it was very hard for me to wake up and I grunted unhappily as I sighed. I wondered how Cass was? I climbed out of bed and shook Spot awake, "Come on Conlon, ya gotta git up or we can't teach Cass how ta sell! Now git up!" He grunted and threw a pillow at me.

I sighed and got dressed, I was still the only one awake and I looked over to Jack's bunk to see if he would help me get Spot up, only to discover that he was nowhere to be found, Strange...I wondah where he went? I contemplated over going up to get Cass awake or to concentrate on Spot. I decided on Spot considering that he could help me with Cass if I needed backup.

"Come on Conlon! I need ya ta get up! I was gonna have Cowboy help me wit Cass' awakening but 'e ain't here, so yer next in line! Git up b'fore I got git da water an ya know I'll do it!" Spot rolled over and mumbled something about morning people and his new plot to kill them all and I sighed. He rolled out of bed and fell on the floor a minute later and I pulled him off and watched as he shuffled off to the washroom.

I sat around waiting for him to come out for about ten minutes and he finally came out, looking like a much happier version of himself, "Dere! Now, come on so we kin git Cass outtah dat bed b'fore she begins ta think dat she kin sleep in ev'ry mornin'!"

Spot groaned, "But Blinkers, are ya forgetting da fact dat da uddah guys are still asleep, Cass coul' still sleep fer anuddah twenty minutes!"

I glared and sighed, "How many times I gotta tell ya not ta call me Blinkers anyways?"

He smirked and laughed, "Oh come on, Ise been callin' ya Blinkers since ya was a newsie in Brooklyn back b'fore ya Ma died!" I rolled my eyes and he suddenly whacked me with his cane, "No one rolls dere eyes at Spot Conlon an gets away wit it! When ya gonna get dat through yer thick skull?"

I cracked a grin and snickered, "When you quit referring to yerself in da thoid person!" He gave me an approving nod and I sighed, "Anyways, back to da point, Cass is a goil, an we know dat goils take longah ta git ready! Right?" Spot nodded his head, but still complained as we headed up the stairs and knocked on Cass' door.

We expected to have to go in and wake her up, but to our surprise, the door creaked open and we were met with a very tired looking Jack. My heart suddenly felt like it had been tied to a lead weight and sunken to the bottom of the Atlantic. Spot looked mad...very mad...and he tried to go after Jack,

"Why you son of a-" I held him back and looked at Jack.

Surprisingly, he looked rather confused. "What's da mattah wit him?" Jack asked groggily and I looked up at him,

"I think we all wanna know what you're doin' in Cass' room wit out yer shirt dis early in da mornin'..." Jack blushed and looked down at himself,

"Oh...Well...She was havin' nightmares an she asked me ta stay wit 'er in da bunk across from 'er fer da night in case she had any more...dat's all..."

I looked down at my shoes and released Spot, who had stopped struggling, "Why'd she ask yous ta stay wit 'er?" he asked. He sounded hurt and I felt bad for him, course, no one could be more hurt than me.

Jack took a deep breath and scratched his head, "Well, I was already up here talkin' to 'er...so she asked me ta stay when she started havin' a nightmare...dat's all," Jack rambled. I had a feeling he was hiding something and I pushed past him to see that he had indeed been telling the truth.

Cass lay sleeping in her bunk and the one across from her was unmade, "Oh...sorry Jack..." I mumbled as I spit shook with him and he smiled as he looked over my shoulder at Cass.

"It's ok Blink. Ya really love 'er, don' ya?" This threw me for a loop and I nearly choked on some nonexistent object,

"What?"

Jack and Spot exchanged knowing looks and smirked, "I don' love 'er! I hardly know da goil!" I whispered harshly, I didn't want to wake her. Why do I have a feeling dat dey know sumthin' dat I don' know?

"Ah come on! We've seen da way ya look at 'er! An I saw yer face when I opened dat door..." I hit Jack on the shoulder and told him to shut up. He and Spot headed back downstairs to Jack could get ready, which left me with the task of waking up Cass by myself. I sighed and looked at her, "Why do they keep insisting dat I love ya? Do I love ya?" I asked her quietly.

I sat down next to her and shook her lightly, "Cass, time ta wake up...Cass..." I whispered in her ear and she smiled and sighed contently as she rolled over, "Come on Cass, ya gotta git up an ya know it..."

She sighed again and mumbled something in her sleep, "What?" I asked myself as I leaned closer. "I love you..." She whispered and I jumped back. I wondered who she was talking about and I shook her some more,

"Cass...wake up sweetie. I gotta tawlk to ya..." I whispered quietly and she sighed again and her eyes finally fluttered open.

"Blink...hi..." she whispered and sat up slowly, "What're you doing in here?"

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders; "I came ta get you up. I figured I'd spare ya Kloppy's awakenings for now."

I watched her as she giggled and hugged me lightly, "I thank you, your highness! And so does my head!" she giggled with an Irish brogue and I laughed.

"Why you're welcome darling!" I laughed with her and stopped as I watched her laugh so lightly. Her heart was so good and pure and her eyes shined with happiness, she looked so beautiful. I didn't realize that she too had stopped laughing and I gently pushed her hair behind her ear and left my hand on her soft cheek and leaned closer to her. I wanted to kiss her so badly and I watched as she closed her eyes and so did I.

But just as our lips began to touch, she pulled away and scampered into her washroom and I sighed, defeated. I sauntered back downstairs and asked Spot and Jack to take Cass out that day, I needed time to think. They once again exchanged knowing looks and I glared at them as I walked out the door and headed to the park to think.

"What's going on? What's happening inside of me? When he tried to kiss me...I had this deep feeling that I wanted to kiss him too, but then, those memories came back...those horrible, horrible memories and I had to pull away. God, every time I try to think about him and being with him, I get those images of them in my mind…Them touching me and kissing me. Just the thought of their dirty hands on me makes me feel so bad and dirty myself..." I felt nausea wash over me and I ran to the toilet where I deposited what was left of my dinner. "Oh God..." I muttered as angry tears flowed down my cheeks. I wanted so badly to feel better, to feel clean again, but every time I came close, those memories came back.

I took a cold shower and scrubbed my skin until it was red and raw and I cried hot tears and my teeth chattered as I dried myself off and pulled on my warmest wool pants, which were gray, and one of my crème shirts and pulled my hair into a loose bun and pulled my hat over it all.

I checked the mirror and jangled the fifty cents in my pocket and sighed as I trooped down the stairs slowly. I saw Jack and Will waiting for me at the bottom and I smiled sheepishly and apologized for taking so long.

"Cass, what's wrong wit yer skin? It's all red…are you ok?" I nodded and we headed out towards the distribution center.

As we walked along, memories of that horrible night came back as we neared the statue and I cringed involuntarily and Jack patted me on the back while Will just shot me a curious look.

We pushed our way through the crowds and stood in front of the gate as we waited for the doors to swing open. Jack began telling me about being a newsie and I listened intently, trying to forget about my horrible memories that kept coming back.

The gates swung open and we were all pushed forward and I clung to Jack's hand so as not to be lost in the sea of both familiar and unfamiliar faces. I could still take care of myself mind you, but that didn't mean I wanted to get lost on my first day as a newsie. We ran up the platform and Jack knocked on a wooden board that covered the window, "Oh Mister Weasel!" Jack called through the door and rang the bell loudly. I laughed as I heard a gruff voice mumbling behind the board and it was raised a second later, "How many times I gotta tell ya? It's Wisel, Mr. Wisel to you! So, how many ya want?"

"Da usual," Jack bellowed as he glared at the old man and slammed down a silver coin. "A hundred fer da Cowboy here. An hurry, I want 'im outtah my face," Weasel barked to the guy behind him and the papers were slammed down on the counter and Jack smirked as he threw them over his shoulder. I stepped up next with Spot standing behind me and I slammed down my money, "One hundred, tubby," I heard snickers coming from the others and Weasel shot me a glare and yelled over his shoulder again, "One hundred for da bitch." I glared at him and he smirked. As the papers slammed down and I saw the all too familiar hand, I let out a squeal and looked upward, praying it wasn't them. I gulped as I came face to face with one of my attackers and I shook like a leaf as I picked up my papers and walked away in a daze.

"Cass, ya ok?" Jack asked me as he rubbed my back and I smiled weakly to assure him.

"I'll be fine, just fine." He nodded and looked over his headlines as I scanned mine as well. Just as Jack told me, there was nothing good. Then I spotted a tiny article on page nine and I smirked to myself as the bells rang and we headed out to sell. Jack and Spot took me near the park and sat down on a bench.

"Ok Cass, dis is yer chance. Let's see what ya got," I smiled and held up a paper, screaming as loud as I could,

"Flood sweeps Brooklyn! Hundreds dead!" I was surrounded by about seven men who instantly bought a paper from me, one even gave me a fifty cent piece and told me to get a nice lunch.

I smirked as I sauntered back to the others proudly, "Well?"

Spot laughed and so did Jack as they shook their heads, "Dat was great Cass! Where's dat story?"

"Page nine."

Jack and Spot each pulled open a paper and scanned the headlines and both cracked up at the same time as they saw the story, "Dat's great Cass! Yous a natural!" Jack grinned as he patted me on the back. The real headline had been, 'Kitchen sink is left on in Brooklyn, hundreds of basement rats drown'. I smiled proudly and Spot slapped me on the back,

"Good work Cass! Here, you kin stay here an Jacky-boy an I'll go ta our spots. Meet ya at Tibby's fer lunch?" I nodded and began hawking the headlines again as my two friends walked away laughing and shaking their heads.

I worked diligently for the morning and walked deeper into the park as I sold. I was done at about eleven and told myself that it was beginners luck. I spotted a bench under a tree not far away and sauntered over to it and sat down, wiping a little sweat from my brow. Even though it was fall, I still worked up a sweat selling those papers all morning. I could hardly wait for the afternoon edition to come.

As I sat, I heard a cracking from above me and looked up as a few dead leaves floated to the ground. I laughed and my eyes got wide as I saw Blink napping up in one of the branches. I sighed to myself and hoisted myself up into the tree and swung myself over to where he was.

I smiled evilly as I contemplated shaking him awake. Then I remembered the morning's events and changed my mind, Maybe I'll just be going...I thought to myself as I tried to climb back down. I suddenly forgot how to climb down a tree and whimpered quietly, "Great...now what?" I asked myself in a hushed whisper. I didn't want Blink to wake up. It was bad enough that I was stuck in a tree, but with him conscious-I didn't think I could handle that. I sighed as I soon realized that I was not getting out of that tree without some help, major help. I gave in and decided to try to grab a limb and swing down. As I grabbed one and swung out, I realized that I was too high up to drop down, but it was too late, I was already dangling there...God! Now what? Do I drop down and risk breaking an ankle... or do I cry for help…and deal with Blink?I sighed and gave up.

"BLINK!" I cried shrilly and loudly. I obviously jolted him awake, because I saw the limbs moving, "Blink! Get your lazy ass out of this tree and help me down!" I ranted as he began mumbling, Great, he's still half asleep! I'm doomed!

"Cass? That you?"

"Nah, it's the tooth fairy! Yes it's me! Get me down from here before I fall and break my neck! God damn! Use your head!"

"Jeez, sorry! Ok, ok..." He trailed off as he swung stealthily from a few limbs and landed on the ground with an oh so graceful 'thud'. I sighed as my grip began to loosen and I yelped,

"Blink!"

"Ok, ok! I'm undah ya now, just drop down an I'll catch ya."

"Are you nuts? You'll drop me!"

"I will not! I would never drop you! I'll be right here to catch you when you fall! Now let go!" I yelped as the branch cracked.

"Uh oh..." I groaned and yelped again as I lost my grip and tumbled to the ground. Blink didn't lie though, he caught me with one swift motion and held me there as I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks Blink." I blushed self-consciously and he smiled.

"No problem Cass. I'd catch ya no mattah how high ya were, or where ya were fallin' from. I promise." I smiled gently and it was his turn to blush a little. His face began to come closer to mine again and I wanted so badly for him to kiss me, but I couldn't let it happen as I saw an image of the Delanceys again. I squirmed in his arms and he sighed,

"You can put me down now Blink."

He nodded and set me down, "I...I gotta go- See ya!" I called over my shoulder and took off towards Tibby's as fast as I could run. I wanted so badly to be able to kiss him, to let him hold me, but I just kept seeing those horrible images, Damn you Delanceys! Damn you for ruining my life! I sniffled as I walked through the diner's front door and smiled as Will and Jack waved me over.

"Hard time?" They asked me as I sat down. I shook my head, "No, I just ran into...a little trouble is all...I'm ok."

"Trouble? Are ya ok? Tell me who it was an I'll soak 'em!" Will jumped up and pounded his fist into his hand.

I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down, "No Spot, not that kind of trouble. I climbed a tree and couldn't get down is all-I'm fine. An don't either of you laugh or I'll beat you up myself!" I shook my fist at them and they tried to conceal their snickers and I elbowed Jack in the ribs and kicked Will in the shin. Needless to say, they left me alone after that and never brought up the tree again.

Why? Why won' she let me kiss 'er? What's wrong wit me? God! Why won' she talk ta me? I asked myself all these questions as I wandered around the city, watching couples go by me and I sighed unhappily and continued my walk. I dug my hands deep in my pockets to keep them warm and sighed again as I sat down at another bench and closed my eyes in thought.

I would find a way to talk to her, to get her to listen to me. I had to. I headed back to the Lodging House as the sun began to set. Maybe I would find Cass on the roof again. I could talk to her there. I looked up at the roof as I walked up to the Lodging House and smiled as I saw Cass sitting up there watching the sun go down.

I made my way up the fire escape as quietly as I could and my shoes slapped the ground as I pulled myself onto the roof, but Cass didn't seem to hear me. She seemed as though she was in a trance and I walked quietly over to her and sat down.

"Hey Cass?" I watched in surprise as she nearly jumped out of her skin and she relaxed as she noticed it was just me, "Oh...hey Blink. You scared me. Is something the matter?" She asked me. I could tell that she was trying to act as if nothing had happened, but I wouldn't let her.

"Cass, I need to talk to you 'bout tahday. I need ta ask ya some stuff."

She seemed tense at first and then she relaxed suddenly, "Ok...what kind of stuff?"

"Cass...I want ya to know dat you kin trust me."

She gave me a funny look and nodded her head, "I know that Blink. Why wouldn't I?"

I got nervous suddenly and I could tell she was eyeing me curiously, "Well...see...I was hopin' dat maybe you woul' tell me 'bout what happened...ya know...a year ago...an maybe where ya were da past year?"

I watched her expectantly and she took in a deep breath, "I'm afraid to tell you -You'll think horribly of me -And I don't want that at all -Cause...uh...never mind..." she trailed off. I knew she was hiding something big now and I really wanted to know what it was.

"Come on Cass! Please? Ya kin trust me an I woul' nevah think bad of ya! I care 'bout ya too much!" She looked up at me surprised and I felt my cheeks heat up and I was sure that I was blushing crimson. She laughed a little, but then her eyes clouded over as she remembered what I had asked her.

"Ok -I'll tell you. When you found me that morning -I had walked myself to that statue because I had no more strength to go anywhere else. I woke up in an alley and walked back to the boarding house at the mill. I had been fired for breaking curfew and I was told to get out-So I packed my bag and left. By the time I got to the statue, I was totally winded and couldn't take another step. That's when I fell asleep."

I nodded my head and waited for her to continue, but she didn't. Instead, she looked uneasy and she suddenly jumped up and ran to the trashcan that was on the roof and I cringed as I heard her lose her dinner.

As she walked back over and sat down, I rubbed her back, "Sorry Blink...I do that a lot now-Whenever I think of..." She trailed off again and I sighed, urging her to go on, "They...those guys -The Delanceys -They -Oh God!" She cried as she looked away. I could tell that she was trying not to cry.

"Cass? Whadid dey do to ya?" I asked her cautiously. I wanted them dead more than anything in the world and I growled deep within my throat. It was no wonder she had shivered that morning when she saw the goons. I rubbed her back and she shot me a stricken look and nodded her head reluctantly.

"They -They r-raped me..." she choked out as she tried not to cry again. I reached out and hugged her tight, telling her to cry. Instead, she latched on to me and I held her silently for a long time. She just needed someone to hug her, to tell her it would be ok. But at the same time, I wanted to hunt down the Delanceys and rip their hearts right out of their ribcages. I wanted them to pay for what they had done to Cass.

After she finally calmed down, she pulled back and sighed, "Thanks Blink -for understanding." She gave me a weak smile and I stroked her hair.

"Anytime Cass. Does Spot know?"

I watched as she shook her head slowly, "He knows they're the ones that beat me up...but he doesn't know that they..." I shushed her and told her she didn't have to say it again and she nodded her head gratefully. She looked up at me and sighed, "Jack knows."

I looked up in surprise, I hadn't expected that, "Jack? How come ya tol' him but not me or Spot?"

She sighed loudly again and shrugged her shoulders, "Well, I was up here crying and didn't notice that he was already up there. I couldn't hide it from him after he saw me crying...so I just told him. Sorta the shoulder to cry on, you know?"

I nodded my head, but I didn't really understand. Deep down, I was jealous, Why couldn't I be her shoulder to cry on? I sighed and told her she should be getting on to bed.

She shot me a curious glance, "But I thought you wanted to talk about today?" I shook my head solemnly and smirked.

"Ya been t'rough enough tahnight as it is. We'll tawlk tahmarrah, ok?"

She nodded her head and started down her fire escape. I watched her as she suddenly stopped and shot me a small smile, "Blink?"

"Yeah?"

"Will ya promise not to tell the others? I want ta tell 'em in my own time. I promise I will though...but I gotta tell Spot first, ok?" I smiled and nodded reassuringly,

"Course. I woul' nevah tell 'em less ya tol' me to."

She grinned and disappeared from my view as she slid back into her window. I sighed as I headed to my own bunkroom and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

I grinned to myself as I got ready for bed, I felt so much better now that I had told Blink. I climbed into my bunk and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

The next morning, I woke up early and crept down to the boys' bunkroom and tiptoed over to Will's bunk and made him get up. He groggily followed me back up to my room and I locked the door behind us, "Will, I need to tell you something...but you won't like it at all..."

This definitely got his attention and he looked up in surprise, "What? What's da mattah?"

I sighed and made him sit down on my bunk and I sat down beside him, "Will -Do you remember last year when you were trying to get me to tell you about what happened to me?"

He nodded his head, "Yeah, an den ya ran off an threw up aftah awhile an nevah finished. What happened?"

I sighed again and hated myself for how much of that I had been doing lately, "Well, ya see-I threw up cause the thought of their hands on me made me sick...When they got to me...they didn't only beat me up Will...they...they raped me..." I looked over at him expectantly. I was smiling to myself on the inside, I had made it through telling him without making myself sick. Course, maybe it was the fact that my stomach had nothing in it to throw up?

Suddenly, Will slammed his fist against the beam of the bunk in rage and began cursing loudly. He jumped up and started screaming at me, begging me to tell him why I hadn't told him sooner. I tried to calm him, but he just got angrier, "Dammit Cass! Why didn' ya tell me? God! Dose bastards will pay for hoitin' you! I swear ta God! Cass! Jeez!"

I jumped at every outburst and had squirmed into a corner of the room. I suddenly heard dozens of feet pounding up the stair and the door knob jiggled as I heard Jack trying to open it, "Cass? Ya ok? Open dis door Cass! Come on! What's goin' on in dere?" But Will was too deep into his rage to hear any of this as he swung his arm across the nightstand and knocked everything off. Then he kicked the wall and threw the nightstand across the room and it splintered as it connected with the plaster of the wall. I screamed for him to stop and I heard Blink, Jack and Race as well as some others banging on the door, trying to get it open.

"Cass? Cass? Answer me Cass?" I heard Blink's voice. He sounded so frantic and I whimpered, afraid that Will would throw me across the room if I moved. Will began kicking at a wall across the room and I inched my way across, and lifted a trembling hand and unlocked the door and jumped out of the way as it came swinging open and about twenty guys rushed in.

Blink saw me scrunched up in a corner and ran over to me and fell to his knees as he hugged me, "Oh God Cass! Ya ok?" I nodded my head and shivered as I watched Jack and Mush pin Will to the ground.

"Conlon! What da Hell are you doin'? Can't ya see dat you've scared Cass outtah her mind? Look at 'er fer God's sake!" Jack raged as he pointed at me. Will shook his head to the side, flipping his hair out of his face and stared at my trembling form. I watched as he went slack and Jack let him up.

He crossed the room slowly, "Oh God Cass I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! It's jist?When I think about them?even coming NEAR you let alone?I jist...I went crazy! I'm sorry! God can ya fergive me?"

I nodded for Blink to let me by and I hugged him tight, "I'm sorry...I should have told you sooner...It's ok..." I trailed off and against all of my power, I began to sob. I sobbed uncontrollably and Will just held me tight and rocked me back and forth as I clutched his shirt, soaking it through.

I scared the guys half to death, they had never even seen me sad, let alone cry. It was a good five minutes or so before I had managed to stop crying and I dried my eyes on my shirt sleeve as I sniffled and stood up, "I'm sorry guys -I don't mean to scare you -Now you'll want to know what's going on, right?"

Blink shot me a sympathetic look and I smiled, telling him it was ok. Meanwhile, Race had regained his composure and had gathered his wits, a rare occasion for him as I like to say,

"Damn straight we do Cass!" He looked mad...or upset...I was too far away from him to tell which his eyes were telling me but I sighed anyway.

"I know who hurt me last year...And I remember everything that happened to me too..." I received a lot of confused looks and Blink put an arm around me for support. I sighed and decided to continue, "It was the Delanceys…they surprised me and dragged me into an alley. At first it was just the brass knuckles and punches...But then...Well...I was...uh..." I decided that I couldn't say it again and I got the familiar feeling in my throat and stomach and I ran to the washroom as fast as I could and once again unloaded anything that was left in my stomach.

I returned a moment later after wiping my face and shot everyone a weak smile, "Well...I guess...they raped me guys..." I sat back down on my bunk as I heard the shocked gasps of my friends and Jack sat down next to me and gave me hug, telling me he was proud of me. I stood back up and faced them all once again, "I'm glad it's out in the open now -I've wanted to tell you all for a long time..." Everyone gave me hugs and I was beginning to grow accustomed to human contact again as we resolved to try to get over it and we proceeded to get ready to sell our papers.

I had just flopped down in a booth for lunch when Jack, Spot, and Blink came running in with these huge grins on their faces as they ran over to me and sat down. I got a very suspicious feeling and they began laughing and saying that my face was hysterical looking.

"Shut the Hell up or I'll soak all three of you and you know I'd do it!" The three exchanged a few looks and decided it was better not to try my patience, "So, what's got you three so giddy?"

Jack grinned from ear to ear, "We jist taught da Delanceys a liddle lesson...nevah ta come near you again!"Spot smirked and I shook my head,

"Ya didn' hafta do dat..."

Blink slung an arm around my shoulder, "Yeah, but we wanted to an we did!" I laughed and we ordered our lunch. I felt oddly better now that everything was out in the open. I had hated keeping it from them, but I was terrified that they would think badly of me for it. I knew it wasn't my fault, but I was still afraid that they wouldn't understand that. I myself couldn't comprehend that these people were different from people that I had met in the past, these people cared.

I sighed contently and playfully shoved Blink out of the booth and onto the floor as I stood up to leave, "Cass! Whadid ya do dat for?"

I laughed and shook my head, "You were in my way! I gotta go get the afternoon edition! See you guys at dinner!" I waved and laughed as I ran out to get my papers.

The next few days flew by uneventfully. I wasn't ready to talk to Blink about what had happened between us. I just couldn't face him, so I sort of ignored him, which made me feel like a witch or something that rhymes with it anyway. I just couldn't get those images out of my mind and then there was the fact that I was scared as Hell that if I were to love him, he would leave me. Why not? Everyone else that I had ever loved had left me. My parents left me, my dog that I had brought with me for the first few years of my traveling got hit by a train, my child hood friend from when I was six had suddenly turned on me just before my parents left...why shouldn't I be afraid?

About four days later, I was walking down 64th street [Authors note: I've only been to New York once! So sue me if I'm historically inaccurate! Make my day! *grins* Kidding…heheh? when I saw a prospective headline, 'dog hit by carriage on Brooklyn bridge'. I smiled slyly and yelled at the top of my lungs,

"Runaway carriage leaves orphaned children in it's wake!" Ok, so maybe it was a bit of a stretch, but hey, for all they knew the dog did have kids! I smiled as I sold three papers.

I was about to walk away and head off to a new spot when I felt a tap on my shoulder, "One please," I heard a feminine voice ask me. I had a feeling that I knew the voice, from somewhere long ago, but I couldn't remember.

As I whirled around to try to hand the woman the paper, I gasped and my last forty-five papers slipped from my hands and scattered across the street as I stared into the familiar face of my mother, "Is there a problem?" She asked quietly. All I could do was stare at her as I bent down and gathered up my papers.

"Uh...that'll be a penny, mom...er...ma'am..." I trailed off as I handed her the paper. She gawked at me as a spark of realization came across her face and I turned around and tried to run. I heard her screaming for someone to stop me and I was grabbed by a large man that I soon realized was my so-called father.

Damn! I thought to myself as I was dragged back over to her, "Sweetheart? What's the matter? Did this ruffian steal something from you?"

I struggled to break free as he held me still and I went limp as I heard her tell him who I was. He spun me around quickly and looked at me hard. He too suddenly realized who I was and hugged me.

I pulled away and glared at the two of them, "Who do you think you are? How dare you! You leave me alone for eleven years and NOW you claim me as your own? What makes you think I even care anymore? What makes you think that you can just waltz on over here and make me go with you?" I screamed at them, throwing down my papers and fumed.

They stared at me and my mother oozed sadness, "But darling! When we went back to find you, you were gone! We've looked for you for so long!" She came toward me and tried to touch my arm and I wrenched myself away. Her voice was sugar-coated, but all I saw in her eyes was lies.

"Don't you darling me! You never looked for me! You don't even care! I can see it! Leave me the Hell alone!" I screamed again and ran. I heard their feet pounding behind me for a long while but I turned around a moment later and they were gone. I stopped running and turned into an alley, leaning against the cool brick wall. "How did they find me? How in HELL did they find me? Why? God, why?"

The second I saw her face, I was reminded of all the heartache I had felt and the reason I had been so distant for so long. I remembered why I was cold and unfeeling and I felt a change in me occur as hot angry tears trickled down my cheeks. I wouldn't let it happen again. I wouldn't let anything happen again. I couldn't believe that I had been so open and good to those boys back at the lodging house! They weren't my friends…I had no friends. The world was full of back stabbers, that's all. I felt the anger growing inside of me as I walked back to the lodging house. I had to get out of there, it wasn't safe.

As I walked through the door, I saw Spot standing there. As he saw me, he waved his hands frantically for me to run, but I didn't understand. Then I heard them, the feet pounding above me as harsh voices beckoned me to come out from where I was hiding. I shot Will a look that told him I had no choice and I walked up the stairs. I knew that if I didn't give myself up, they could hurt the newsies. And even though I had convinced myself that I didn't care and that they didn't either, I knew that I couldn't live with myself if I let them get hurt for me.

I heard Will's voice, beckoning me to come back down, but I didn't. I walked into the bunkroom and saw the horrified looks of the newsies. Many shot me signals to go before I was caught, but I didn't care. I shook my head and swallowed hard, "Hey morons. I'm over here," I called as the bulls turned around and smiled deviously as one of them ran over to me and cuffed me.

"We've been looking for you. Your parents are worried sick! Come on," I watched as the newsies yelled at me, telling me to try to run, but I didn't. I caught Blink's eye and he gave me a confused look, I could tell he didn't understand what I was doing, but then again, neither did I. I followed the officers down to the wagon that awaited me and I saw Will standing there helplessly.

As I was loaded into the back of the wagon, the newsies poured into the street, running after me, begging them to let me go. I didn't understand why they were doing it, why did they care? I hadn't done anything for them and I had hardly known them long enough for them to call me a friend. As hard as I fought it, tears came to my eyes and began to flow down my cheeks as I was dragged out of the wagon and pushed into the jail house where my ex-parents were waiting. I watched their fake tears and their fake sympathies as they thanked the police officers and took me out of there, not cuffed I might add.

Just as I knew they would, as soon as my parents had me in their carriage and the curtains were drawn so no one could see, my father slapped me, "Don't you ever think of pulling a stunt like that again!" He whispered harshly at me as he slapped me again. My cheek burned and I just looked up at him with hatred surging through me.

As we drove along to the train yards, I realized that I would rather be dead than with people that hated me and I made sure they weren't looking when I moved at lightning speed and threw the carriage door opened and jumped out of it.

I couldn't believe my eyes as I saw her. In one moment, I saw her tumble from that carriage and fall to the ground, tumbling and rolling until she came to a stop in the road. I didn't want to believe it and I just stood there like as statue as two people came out of the carriage after her and ran to her. The woman cried and the man held her for a few minutes. Then I watched in shock as the people ran back to the carriage and sped away, never looking back. I watched as a man that knelt down to her shook his head. A crowd began to form around her and I took a shaky breath and ran to the group, shoving people out of the way, "Get outtah da way! Move it!" I dropped to my knees beside her as I finally pushed my way to the center of the crowd. She lay lifeless before me. I had prayed that it wasn't her that I saw jump from the carriage, but it was, and now she was dead.

"Cass? God no! Cass wake up! Dammit wake up! It wasn' supposed ta be like dis! Come on Cass! I love you! Ya can't die on me!" but she didn't listen. God, why did ya take 'er away? Why woul' ya take Cass away from me? I asked this over and over as I knelt before her, "Cass...please...you can't die on me!" I whispered to myself as I carried her back to the Lodging House. But I knew she was gone. She was gone from me forever and I would never have the chance to tell her that I loved her. My tears landed on her perfect face and I wished she would come back. Just to hear that voice of hers again...Just to see her smile...to hear her laugh. I cried harder as I realized I would never see my Storm again. She was gone now, and nothing could ever bring her back. I felt horrible and empty, like someone had just ripped my heart out and stomped it into a million pieces.

We were going fairly fast by the time I jumped and I rolled onto the ground and came to a complete stand still and laid there motionless. I silently thanked the Indians that taught me how to play dead and slow my breathing enough that it looked like I wasn't breathing at all.

All motion around me stopped as ladies gasped at the 'dead' girl lying in the street and horses reared to a stop in front of me. My parents jumped out of the carriage and ran to me and I heard my mother pretend to cry and my father cursed under his breath as he pretended to hold my 'grief-stricken' mother. I waited for about five minutes until I heard my parents scamper back to their carriage and the driver pulled away as fast as he could. I heard people whispering about it as a man came over and knelt beside me. I opened one eye the slightest bit to see him shake his head at the people standing around me.

Then I heard a familiar voice, "Get outtah da way! Move it!" I heard scuffling as someone pushed their way to the center of the crown and dropped to their knees beside me, "Cass? God no! Cass wake up! Dammit wake up! It wasn' supposed ta be like dis! Come on Cass! I love you! Ya can't die on me!" I nearly choked on some non-existent object right then, Blink loves me? No...He can't...no one loves me- But I knew it was true as I felt tears begin to splash on my cheeks and he lifted me up and began to carry me somewhere. I cracked an eye open as I realized we were ascending the steps of the lodging house.

I heard more familiar voices gasping as Blink stumbled in, carrying me supposed lifeless body. I heard Will's scared voice next, "God Blink! What da hell happened to 'er?"

I felt Blink sigh and choke back a sob, "She's...she's dead...she jumped outtah ah carriage ta get away from dose people dat got 'er taken away...Oh God!" Blink set me down on the sofa and I could of sworn I heard people crying. But why would they cry for me? No one loves me...Do they? I asked myself. I felt horrible for making these people sad. I didn't know they cared about me like that. Then I heard Jack's voice,

"Why? Why? It was bad enough dat we lost 'er to da bulls...she gave 'erself up jist ta protect us! Why did we hafta lose 'er like dis too?" I heard him cough and he sobbed. I felt his lips on my cheek for a brief second and he sniffled. I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't let them think I was dead! It wasn't fair! I decided the best way to go was to pretend I had been unconscious, so I moved the slightest bit and moaned quietly.

I heard gasps all around me and my eyes fluttered open, "What?" I asked quietly, making my voice sound dry, "What happened? Where am I?"

I felt Blink throw his arm around me, "Thank God yer ok! Ya scared us ta death! I thought ya was dead! Dammit don' evah scare me like dat again!" I smiled weakly as he released me and blushed. Next, Will gave me a big hug and Jack ruffled my hair,

"I knew ya was too tough ta go an die on us!" I laughed lightly and pretended to steady myself as I stood up wearily.

"I'm ok, guys, I promise." I told them as Blink tried to hold me still. He nodded and Kloppman gave me a glass of water, which I downed quickly. I told them all that I remembered jumping, "Guys, think about it...it was either jump and risk death, or not jump and spend my life with people that don't love or care about me, get it? Besides, if I died, at least I would be somewhere where I couldn't get hurt...and if I didn't...then I could do whatever I wanted...see?" The guys nodded and Will looked at me with this new light, like there was something new inside of me that he hadn't seen before. I thought it was weird and I excused myself to go take a nap...a long nap.

"Sure Cass…meet us at Tibby's fer dinnah?" Blink asked cautiously. I nodded my head and smiled weakly,

"Yeah...maybe...see ya latah?" The guys scattered around and I went upstairs to my bunk and laid down. I sighed as my eyes closed and I nodded off.

I had a funny feeling that Cass hadn't been telling us the whole truth. It seemed odd to me that someone could mistake unconsciousness for death.

"Hey Jacky-boy, ya still comin' to da races wit me?"

I looked over at Race and shook my head, "Sawrry Race! I got some t'ings I need ta do. I'll see ya latah, k?"

Race nodded and grabbed Mush instead and the two headed off to the tracks. Now I was alone in the bunkroom, everyone had headed off to do one thing or another so I crept up to Cass' room and knocked on the door. There was no immediate answer so I looked in on her and sat down beside her, shaking her shoulder, "Pst...Cass, wake up. I gotta tawlk to ya. Wake up!" I shook her harder and she groaned at me, throwing a punch to my stomach, "Oof! Sheesh Cass! Dat hoit!"

She smirked at me groggily and sat up, "That was the point, genius." She rolled her eyes at me and I grinned, "Now, whaddah want?"

"Ya weren't tellin' da truth down dere an I wanna know what da truth is. Now," I said firmly. She shot me an innocent look and shrugged her shoulders,

"What are you talking about? I told you the truth. I-"

"Cut the crap I saw yer eyes an I know when yer lyin', an you were lyin'."

She shook her head, "Ok, ok. So I improved the truth, as you would say. So what?"

"So I wanna know da truth an I wanna know it now!"

She rolled her eyes and held her hands up in defense, "Ok, jeez. So I was playing dead the whole time. I wasn't knocked unconscious and I heard everything all of you said. Ya happy now?"

I was shocked and my mouth hung open, I hadn't expected that, "Why? Ya scared da Hell outtah us an ya made Blink cry! Why?"

She shook her head, "Think about it. If I played dead, my parents wouldn't ever come after me again. Those people wouldn't be able to tell them I was alive and anyone else that came after me would be told that I was dead too. See? I couldn't very well 'come back to life' in plain view! And as for why I waited so long downstairs...Well...I was shocked that you all cared so much...I guess for a second you had me believing that I really was dead! I don't know..." I nodded my head, it did make sense and I could tell she was telling the truth this time.

"Ok Cass. You win. Ya wanna go up an watch da sunset wit me?" I asked her.

She rolled her eyes and sighed, "Well, since ya asked so nice and everything!" Her voice was dripping sarcasm and I hit her over the head lightly with one of her pillows.

"Hey! That's not very nice!" She retorted as she hit me over the head herself.

"I know, dat's why I did it!" I smirked, which earned me another swat in the face with her pillow. I didn't want Kloppy to find feathers all over the floor, so I ended our little pillow war right there. I shot up suddenly and threw her over my shoulder while she screamed to let her down. I laughed at her as she kicked her feet wildly and I hauled her up the fire escape and plopped her down on a ledge.

She hit me over the head with her hat this time and I tugged on her ponytail,

"Knock it off Kelly!" She roared, "No one messes with my hair!" She lunged at me and swatted at me with her hat.

I grabbed her around her middle and tickled her ribs until tears were streaming down her face and she was begging for mercy, "Kelly! I give up! Uncle!" She squealed and I gave her a hand up. She laughed and nudged me in the side, "Besides Kelly, we're missing the sunset." I grinned and neither of us spoke another word until the sun was down. We just watched nature's own little light show in peace as the colors faded from yellow, to orange, red, pink, purple, then finally a deep majestic blue that covered the earth like a rich velvet blanket speckled with diamonds.

"Hey Cass...whaddo ya think da stars are?"

I looked over at her as a small smile spread across her face, "Well...I always thought that they were the lanterns of the angels. During the day, they can see us without them, but when the night comes, they light those lanterns bright and watch over us until the sun comes out again." I smiled at her story, it seemed to make sense, "What about you Kelly?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "I dunno. Race tol' me dat dey was fireflies dat flew up too high an got stuck up dere." I grinned at Cass and she laughed. Her laughing was like a perfect song, not too loud, not too soft. It seemed to bubble out of her throat and float through the air like a graceful dove. It made you smile and she grinned at me,

"Good ol' Race! Let me guess, he also thinks that the moon is made of cheese!"

I got a goofy grin on my face and decided to play along and scratched my head, "Ya mean it's not?" I asked in a shocked voice, which renewed her laughter. We talked for a while longer and then we heard footsteps behind us and Cass turned around,

"Oh! Hey Blink! What're you doin' up here?"

I turned to see Blink standing there nervously and he motioned for me to follow him. I got up and walked over to him, "What's up?"

"Woul' ya mind if I tawlked ta Cass alone fer a bit?" I smiled knowingly and he royally told me to shut up or he'd soak me. I shook my head and headed back downstairs.

I watched as Jack walked downstairs and I shot Blink a curious look, "I needed ta tawlk to ya." He answered simply. I nodded my head and he sat down beside me. "What's on your mind?"

He looked nervous for a second and sighed, "Cass...I need ta tell ya sumthin'...but I'm afraid ta tell ya..."

I smiled gently and threw an arm around him, "Ah Blinkers, ya know you can tell me anything!" He scowled at the nickname and I grinned, "What? You think I didn't know about that? Come on! Spot tells me everything!" Blink muttered something about killing Spot and looked at me again.

"Cass...I wanted ta tell ya dat...I..." Suddenly, before I could even react, he leaned over and planted a kiss on me. And I'm not talking a peck on the cheek. He kissed me with so much love and kindness and caring that I was rendered paralyzed. All I could do was sit there for a moment before I found myself returning the kiss.

His hand moved to my cheek and when he finally pulled away, he smiled, "I love you Cass. I've loved you since dat foist day we met -I jist didn' realize it 'till now. I love you!"

I smiled and suddenly realized that my images weren't back and I didn't feel weird. I realized what all those strange new feelings inside of me were. They weren't a disease or a curse, it was love. I sighed contentedly and looked up at him,

"I love you too, Blink." He smiled and he seemed so happy. He stood up and picked me up, swinging me around excitedly.

I realized that I had wandered for a reason. All my life and all those places had led up to this moment, when I realized that I was where I was destined to be, with the person I was destined to be with. The wind had carried me forever, but I no longer needed it, I had my Blinkers to carry me now- And I didn't need anything else as long as I had him.