All of my heart I do
Blood through my veins for you
You alone have all of me."
~ Lyrics from RAPUNZEL by David J Matthews
"J, you don't have to carry me around everywhere."
"You're not supposed to be walking up and down stairs, Keely. Besides, you're stuck with me helping you out until further notice, remember?"
"Tell me the truth, Josh. How ugly is it?"
"Star, don't do this to yourself..."
"I will take the tape off myself so help me God, Josh. I have a right to see it." JC helped her stretch out on their bed, taking off the boxers she wore home and lifting her tank top.
"Tell me to stop when it hurts." This wasn't the first time he'd seen her incision. Rose and Dr. O'Brien had been there while Keely was still asleep that morning. They'd shown him the stitches and how to take care of the wound.
"The yellow color is from the iodine they used and there is some bruising." He pulled the last bandage from her skin and looked up to see the tears and pain in her eyes.
"I'm a monster," she whispered reaching down to touch her stitches.
"No, Star, don't touch them. It's not as bad as you think, really."
"Not as...I look like Frankenstein's bride, Josh!"
"Vanessa, I want you to look at me. No, look at me," he said cupping her chin. "You're beautiful. You always have been, you always will be. This isn't going to make me love you any less. Do you understand me? Nothing will make me stop loving you or wanting to be with you."
"But I'm not whole, Josh. I'll never be able to..."
"You've already given me the world and then some by giving me your heart. I know we both wanted a family, but that can't happen if you're not healthy and here with me. You're going to beat the odds on this one, Star."
"Why do you love me so much?"
"Because in every way that matters, you make me the man that I am. I would be nothing without you. You're my soul, Star." He leaned down to kiss her, hoping to convey his every emotion by touch.
"I just want everything to be back the way it was, Josh."
"We'll get there. Come on, you're tired and you need to rest. I have to get you bandaged up again."
"I'm sorry, J."
"It's okay, Star. I know."
When she woke several hours later, she heard JC talking on the phone.
"No, she didn't force me to make this decision, Johnny. Keely doesn't even know about it. I decided on my own to leave the group for however long when the possibility of her death became real. Well no shit man! I know we all have a time to go, but if her's is now, I'm going to be there for her until she's at peace. Just tell them to fuck off then! She's my wife in every way that counts. I'm going to MTV on Monday to make a formal statement. Goodbye." She lay perfectly still as he climbed the stairs and began to undress.
"I know you're awake, Keely."
"You just gave up everything for me?"
"I didn't give up anything. I just prioritized."
"They think I forced you into it...that I'm the bad guy here. You're fans will definitely hate me now." JC gently rolled Keely onto her side so he could look into her eyes.
"If anyone says anything bad about you, ignore it. I love you, Star. Don't let anyone take that away from us now."
"You've given me so much lately..."
"I don't expect anything in return. I can see it in your eyes, you're building that wall again."
"What makes me any different than my mother? How can you be so sure I'll live?"
"Because I believe in you. I'm taking the rest on faith."
Three days later, JC, Keely and Rose sat in a green room at MTV.
"Keely, this isn't good for your recovery at all."
"I had to be here to support him, Rose. He's doing all this for me."
"JC, you're up in thirty seconds, man."
"Okay...I'll be back soon, Star."
"I love you." He walked out of the room and the screams started not long after.
"Once again this is Dave filling in for Carson and I'm standing next to a buddy of mine. I hear you have some news for us, JC."
"That would be an understatement, Dave."
"You look a little tired and run down. Tough time in the studio?"
"No, this actually concerns my personal life. You've met my fiancee', Vanessa, before, right?"
"She's a wonderful woman, JC. Congratulations!"
"Well, that's part of the news. She's been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I talked with the guys this past week and we all agreed that my head won't be in the game at all while Vanessa is sick. So...we're taking a break." The whole TRL audience gasped, Dave included.
"Don't worry, we're still a group. The other guys have side projects they'd love to work on and now they have the time."
"I'm sorry to hear that, man. I hope everything works out for you. Right now we have to go to our number three video, by Sum 41, but we'll be back to talk with JC some more." The whole studio seemed to be in shock and no one spoke until they came back on the air.
"That was your number three video and JC, it looks like we have someone on the line who wants to speak to you. Hello, Melissa?"
"Yeah, Dave?"
"JC is right here, girl."
"JC, I just wanted to say I'm praying for the both of you and I was wondering if there was any way I could get a donation to you and Vanessa or a charity cause I've been where she is now." Keely had been watching the whole thing from her seat in the green room. At that moment, she got up and began to slowly walk to the door.
"Help me get to him, Rose. He needs me." She nodded and took Keely by the arm, helping her out.
"Thank you so much, Melissa. I...I don't know what to..." He spotted Keely walking through the crowd to him then and lost the fight against his tears. Keely took him in her arms and held on for dear life. There wasn't a dry eye in the room.
"Dave, can you keep her on the line? JC and I will definitely want to talk to her later."
"It'll be my pleasure, Vanessa."
*****
"Did you see them, Vik? They don't deserve this pain."
"I know, Justin, but look at all the support they have now. Everyone of those kids inside and on the street passed a bucket around and gave them all their spare money. And the MTV associates did it as well. They're going to get through this."
"We need to contact this Melissa woman. It was her idea and I want her in on every nuance."
"Could you just try to relax for a second, Justin?"
*****
Keely had been trying to get JC to do almost the same thing. They'd returned to the safety of the loft, but she was still trying to comfort the lover in her arms.
"How's he doing," Rose questioned softly, setting a cup of tea by Keely's free hand.
"He's asleep. He finally exhausted himself crying a little while ago." JC's head was resting in her lap as she sat on the couch. His grip on her left hand had loosened enough to where she could brush her thumb back and forth over his knuckles.
"He must love you very much. A lot of husbands I've worked with are afraid to be around their wives. It's almost as if they find them contagious."
"He's seen what this disease does to the loved ones. Josh was always right there when I was losing my mother to breast cancer. He even stayed while I tried my hardest to push everyone away. He saved my life the day she died. I was so upset that I ran and I didn't know what was going on around me. I stepped off the curb just outside the hospital and I would've been hit by a delivery truck if he hadn't followed me and yanked me back. He's right when he says we're married in every way that matters. Do you believe in kismet, Rose?"
"I have my moments..."
"Believe it, Rose. Kismet brought Josh to me. I have to believe it will let me stay with him."
