"Justin, Joe and I finished painting the nursery this morning. We were working on the bassinet when Patrick called and told me the news. This shouldn't be happening to us, Andi. We were going to grow old together. You were supposed to tease me about getting fat and I was supposed to tease you about losing your glasses. Wake up for me, Andrea. Please, just open your eyes for me."
"Daddy? Grandma Jackie is here," Abigail said from the door. JC quickly wiped his eyes before focusing on his daughter.
"Abby, can you get Uncle Justin, please?"
"Okay. Is Mommy sick?"
"Yeah, sweetie, Mommy is really sick. But you know what you can do to help? Uncle Lance said that he was going to the chapel to pray. Could you and Nattie pray for Mommy?"
"Can I tell Mommy I love her first," Abby whispered.
"Sure you can, come here, sweetpea." JC lifted his daughter to a spot close to Andrea on the bed.
"Mommy, I love you. Daddy is sad that you're asleep, but he loves you too."
"Jace, there are some people out here who would like to speak with you," Justin said softly, peeking into the room.
"Okay, I'll be right there. Abby, sweetpea, you go with Uncle Lance." She ran out the door and JC bit back a sob.
"Those girls are so much like Andi... Could you sit with her Justin? I don't want her to wake up and have no one here."
"Of course I will. Jackie is waiting out there, as well as Jocelyn and her parents."
"Jocelyn? I didn't think she knew about Andi. If she wakes up..."
"I'll scream the place down until you get your scrawny ass back in here. Go on, Jace, she'll be fine with me." JC stepped out into the hall and was met with his teary-eyed mother-in-law, Andi's daughter and her family.
"Joshua, please tell me good news," Jackie pleaded. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall before speaking.
"Andi stopped at the scene of an accident today on her way home. She was helping a woman when a truck hit her from behind. He spine was crushed at the small of her back and she suffered a lot of internal bleeding. He doctors say that if she wakes up, she'll never walk again."
"When do they expect her to wake up then?"
"They are very doubtful that Andi will make it through the night. Because she signed a DNR form, the only thing they can do at this point is keep her pain free until it happens. I'm sorry, Jackie, but Andrea will most likely die in this hospital tonight."
"You seem to be taking this a little too well. Are you just waiting for it to happen so you can get the money from her insurance policy," Jackie lashed out.
"Don't talk to him that way! He'd never do that to my mother." They turned to look at the teenager and noticed for the first time how much Jocelyn resembled Andrea.
"We told her on the flight down," Matthew Addison said resting his hand on the young girl's shoulder.
"And how would you know? You've never met him."
***************
What ravages of spirit
Conjured the temptuous rage
Created you a monster
Broken by the rules of love
And fate has lead you through it
You do what you have to do
And fate has lead you through it
You do what you have to do...
***************
In seconds, JC had backed Jackie to the wall.
"I don't want to hear another word from you. You've caused nothing but pain in Andrea's life. You disowned her the day your first grandchild was born. You weren't there at the girls' christening or our wedding. And still, Andi said only good things about you to her daughters. I would give my life for Andrea, but that just isn't possible. If anyone is going to be accused of coming here now for money it's you." He backed away from the woman and sighed before turning to Jocelyn.
"Would you like to go in and talk to Andi?" She looked at the only family she'd known to this point and they nodded their approval. JC held out his hand to her and they walked into Andrea's room together. Justin was sitting by her side, quietly singing "Fire and Rain," one of Andi's favorite songs.
"Justin, I'd like you to meet Andi's daughter Jocelyn." The younger man stood to give her a hug before she could even say hello.
"Nattie and Abigail call me Uncle Justin, but if you're not comfortable with that, I completely understand."
"Wow...twelve hours ago I got on a plane 'cause my parents said someone important was sick and now I have a whole family I never knew existed."
"I'm sorry you had to meet us under these circumstances."
"Would I be able to meet the girls later?"
"Um...sure, if they're awake. That would be wonderful."
"It's just...if I'm going to lose my birth mother, I'd like to get to know another part of her. Did that make sense?"
"Wow, Jocelyn, you can be a part of this family anytime you want. I'm sure Andrea would want you to feel welcome in our house."
"My parents told me about how you stayed with her when I was born and helped her through having to give me up...I think that's why I feel comfortable around you. You were there in the beginning."
"You're more like Andrea than you realize. I'll let you sit and talk to her now. Um...I'm going to check on your new half brother, but Justin will be outside if there is a problem or if she wakes up." Both men walked out of the room and once again JC noticed just how much his daughters reminded him of Andrea as he brought them to meet the newest addition to the family.
"When do we get to bring him home, Daddy? Can he come home with Mommy?" JC couldn't fight the tears anymore as he slid down the wall and hugged his girls close to him.
***************
And I have the sense to recognize
That I don't know how to let you go
Every moment rocked
With apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
Trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
But I have the sense to recognize
That I don't know how
To let you go
I don't know how
To let you go
***************
That was how Justin and Jocelyn found him half and hour later.
"C, man, Westin thinks you should be with Andrea right now."
"Come on, girls...you need to give Mommy kisses," JC said standing up and helping them to their feet.
"Mommy isn't going to wake up, is she Uncle Justin?"
"Did you tell your Mommy you loved her this morning before you went to school Nattie?"
"Abby and I always do."
"She loves you too, munchkin. But her body just isn't strong enough to let her tell you that right now." JC stopped outside the door and shook his head at Justin. He wasn't ready to go in yet.
"Come on, rugrats, let's give your Mommy kisses and then let Daddy talk to her, okay?" They nodded and followed Justin into her room.
"Josh, she has about an hour or two at most. She won't feel any pain, I assure you. A member of our staff will come in to turn off the monitors once it happens and you can have as long as you need when she finally let's go. I'm sorry it has to be this way, Josh. We all loved Andrea like family. Maybe if she'd gotten here sooner..."
"It's okay, Patrick. If it was supposed to happen like this, who are we to tempt fate? Thank you for everything you've done, but I need to go sit with my wife now." Justin walked out of the room, not even trying to hide his tears and hugged JC tightly before leading Jocelyn and the girls down the hall to the waiting room. JC took a deep breath before crossing the hall to Andi's door and walking in to sit at her side. "I...uh...I don't know what to do here, Andi. They tell me that you aren't hurting, but I know you and you must be hurting knowing that you won't see Ethan or the girls. I'm not ready to let you leave, Andrea, but I know I can't be selfish and keep you here with me if you don't want to stay. I was so angry when they told me that you didn't want the help of life support for even a few days. But the more I thought about it, the more I knew you were right. Everything you've done in your life has been on your terms and even if you mean the world to me, I can't keep you from leaving this world on your terms. I just wish it hadn't been so soon. How am I going to live and raise this family without you to come home to, Andi girl?" Her heart rate began to slow down and JC held her hand tighter, kissing her knuckles.
***************
A glowing ember
Burning hot
Burning slow
Deep within I'm shaken by the violence
Of existing for only you
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
And I have the sense to recognize
That I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
***************
"I love you, Andrea. I will for the rest of my life. Watch out for me and Jocelyn and our children and all our other loved ones." Andrea's body shuddered with her last breath as JC kissed her one last time. Her heart beat slower and slower until it stopped. Dr. Westin walked in and turned off the monitor and walked out just as quietly. It was another forty-five minutes before JC walked away from Andrea's side, having made his peace with her and God. Everyone looked up as he walked into the waiting room, past the point of tears. Lance stood and offered to make the arrangements before giving his condolences. His former group members caught JC in a group hug, trying to give him their strength and support. Justin helped the girls get ready to go home and Jocelyn asked if she could stay with JC and his family at the house for the night. He nodded and she helped him to a vehicle. JC was silent as Justin drove them to the house that seemed less and less like home to JC now that it's life was gone.
***************
(Song used is written and performed by Sarah McLachlan)
Back to Index
Back to Short Stories
Back to the Den