Birkoff held onto Declan as if his life depended on it. Maybe it did. Over and over, he stroked Declan’s hair, his trembling fingers threading their way through the errant curls. He could feel Declan’s face against his shoulder, his hot breath coming in fits and starts as if merely breathing had become an effort.

"Declan..."

"Oh, God, Sey, tell me it’s a horrible coincidence. Tell me anything, but make me believe it. Please..."

"Dec? This beautiful baby girl...is ours...if we want her. Please, Dec? We have to take her. Or she’ll die."

"Christ, Sey! You’re killing me!" Declan shut his eyes tightly and prayed. For what? He didn’t know.

Declan’s hands were heavy on his neck. Birkoff shifted uncomfortably under the weight. Declan’s hands only became even more entangled in Birkoff’s hair. "Where’s her family, Sey? How come we’re the only ones who can save her?"

"Her father raped her mother, Declan. Her mother is dead." Birkoff himself drew a deep, shuddering breath. "And now the families are falling all over themselves trying to get rid of her."

"But how did we get involved in any of this, Sey? How did Maddy know? What’s the connection?" Declan’s eyes opened, mere smudges of smoke in an already pale face.

"Isn’t it enough that we are, Dec? Can’t you let it be? Please..."

Declan grabbed a handful of Birkoff’s hair and wrenched him backwards. "No, I can’t let it be, Sey. And neither should you. I know how much you want this, I can feel it in every beat of your heart against mine, leannan." He released Birkoff’s hair. "I love you. I deserve the truth."

Birkoff’s eyes clouded with tears. "I want to tell you the truth, Declan," Birkoff said, seeing his dream dash itself against the rocky shoreline, just before disappearing forever. "But I’m afraid you won’t let me have this baby to love," he continued in a low, harsh whisper.

"Why does it have to be this baby, Sey? What’s so important about her?"

"Because she could have been your daughter, Declan! Because you and I are the parents of her heart, even if we’ve never laid eyes on her before!" Birkoff exhorted, his heart breaking with each syllable.

"You’re claiming a perfect stranger?"

"No, I’m claiming your daughter, Declan! Why won’t you listen to me?"

"Because there’s something you’re not telling me, Sey! What is it?"

"She’s your own flesh and blood, Declan! Justin was her father!" There was such a terrible silence all at once.

As if it confirmed what he already knew in his heart, Declan sighed. Yet it was so much more than a sigh. It was an exhalation of grief. Grief so pure and unadulterated by anyone or anything...it hurt just to listen.

Birkoff felt something in Declan give way. He pressed his lips to the pulse on Declan’s neck. Still strong. He felt a sob spasm through his chest and up into his throat, but he was bound to hold onto Declan. Even when the sobs turned into an intermittent lamentation, he held on. Because he was holding onto his life. If Declan couldn’t survive this, neither would he. Cause life just wasn’t worth living without him.

"If you could just see your way past that, Declan..." Birkoff’s breath rasped harshly in his chest.

"Like it wasn’t some bloody great freaking obstacle? Sey, it’s only everything!" He had no more words. Only tears.

"You’re letting him take her away from us! Declan, if you reject her, because of who she is, you’re no better than him!" Birkoff buried his face against Declan’s hair, but still, he could not let go of Declan. "I love you, Dec, but if you let her go...I’m never going to be the same."

"Then you take her!"

"I wish I could," came the tiniest of whispers. "But you’re the other half of me, Dec. Without you, everything else is meaningless."

Declan sagged against his lover, defeated at last. "Then you win, Sey. Cause I could never survive losing you."

They sank to the floor together. One entity. One heart. Minutes passed in utter silence except for the occasional sob. Birkoff’s breath ruffled Declan’s hair. "She’s on her way here, Declan. We’ll be able to hold her soon."

"Ta gra agam duit."

Birkoff raised his head off Declan’s shoulder and stared at him. "What?"

Declan almost smiled. His face still pale, his emotions still fragile, Declan tightened his grip on his lover, his arm still wrapped around his neck, his fingers still entwined in his thick, dark hair.

"You asked me once...how to say...I love you...in Gaelic."

"Dec." Birkoff kissed him, then buried his face beneath Declan’s chin.

"I know I’m pushing you on this, but when you see her, you’ll know I’m right."

Declan rubbed the back of his partner’s neck, his iron grip finally abating, ever so slowly, as the tension gradually ebbed away. "How can you be so sure? You haven’t seen her yourself, Sey."

"Cause she’s part of you."

"No, she’s part of that bast--" Declan started to curse his late brother, but Birkoff silenced him with one finger across his lips.

"Whatever he was, he’s gone. But this baby will never know him, Dec. You’re the only father she’ll ever know."

"And you, Sey." Declan kissed his lover fiercely, wanting only to protect him from further pain and disappointment.

Birkoff smiled shyly, his dark eyes regaining a hint of their former gleam. "Me?" He bit his lip anxiously, searching Declan’s face. "I guess I’m an uncle again, Dec."

"No, Sey. You’re so much more special than that." He stroked Birkoff’s hair away from his face, cupping his chin for another kiss. This one more tender than the first. "She’s going to be a lucky little girl. To have two fathers instead of one."

He sighed. "I have no idea how we’ll ever explain it to her when she gets old enough to realize her parents are different from everyone else’s." Declan forced himself to think about the positive aspects of this adoption, instead of dwelling on the negative.

"Maybe we won’t need to, Dec. Maybe she’ll be a special little girl who’ll just understand who we are."

"If she turns out anything like you, she will be, Sey," Declan whispered.

Birkoff snuggled closer to Declan’s chest, the anticipation slowly being replaced by impatience. "What are we going to name her?"

Declan raked a shaky hand through his disheveled hair. "Now there’s a question."

"You have no ideas? You must have thought about it, Dec, the same as I have."

Suddenly Declan uttered a cry, hiding his face against Birkoff’s hair. "I just thought, Sey..."

"What, Declan?" Birkoff struggled to free himself long enough to check on Declan.

"You said there was no one to raise the baby..."

Birkoff nodded, resuming his hold on Declan. Declan didn’t know how much more he could take. Grief threatened to overwhelm him again. "Ma...My Ma must be dead. She would never let this baby go."

Birkoff grimaced. His initial happiness about the baby was in very real danger of being overwhelmed by other, more negative emotions. He threaded his fingers through Declan’s. "Dec, I’m so sorry."

"Don’t be, Sey. She was in a lot of pain in this life. Maybe she’s in a much better place now." Declan hoped so. It was futile to wish that things had been different. They weren’t. He was enough of a realist to accept that. But the part of him that once dreamed, magnificent dreams, dreams of untold color, dreams of soaring power...that part of him wished they could have been.

Declan clasped Birkoff’s hand in his, studying the silver Claddagh ring he wore on his left ring finger. "Sey? Would you mind if we named the baby after my Ma?"

Birkoff shook his head. "No, Dec. That would be a beautiful gesture. What was her name?"

"Mairead," Declan said. "Her name was Mairead."

"I like that," Birkoff admitted with a shy smile.

"But I’ve a name I’ve kept close to my heart for years. Never dreaming I’d get a chance to use it."

"Tell me, Dec."

"Emerant. It’s Irish, it’s French." Declan laughed to himself. "I dunno why I like it. Maybe the sound of it. Maybe cause it means ‘emerald’, and that reminds me of home. The place I can never go back to."

"That’s an incredible name, Declan. Could we call her that, too?"

With a gesture that said more than words, Declan nodded speechlessly. "Mairead Emerant..." he finally managed to say hoarsely.

"Would that be too painful, Declan? Calling our daughter by your Ma’s name? Maybe...Emerant Mairead would do just as well."

"Such a big name for such a little girl, eh, Sey?" Declan said tearfully.

Birkoff kissed the tears that fell from his lover’s eyes, one at a time, before they could spill down his cheeks. "It sounds wonderful," he whispered, knowing that the naming was an important part of dealing with Declan’s grief.

"Hey," said Birkoff, a suspiciously wet gleam in his own eyes, "her initials are EM. We could call her Em...or Emmy."

Declan kissed him, the saltiness of his lips testament to the copious tears wept throughout the day. "That sounds pretty."

"I just wanted to be part of naming her, too." Birkoff hid his own disappointments well, so well in fact that Declan, absorbed in his own pain, hadn’t noticed it until now.

"Oh, Sey...I’m sorry. You should come up with a name for her, love."

Birkoff wiped at his eyes. "No, no, that’s okay. I came up with her nickname. That’s enough."

"Sey..." Declan held his arms out and Birkoff went willingly into his embrace again, feeling as though they had not left each other’s arms for days. "You didn’t ask me what the baby’s full name is going to be."

Birkoff tucked his head neatly under Declan’s chin, kissing the pulse point at his throat. "Emerant Mairead McLaren...."

"Almost, Sey." He kissed Birkoff’s forehead. "Emerant Mairead Birkoff-McLaren."

Birkoff gasped. "No way!"

Declan laughed. "Aye! A baby this special deserves a special name."

"But Declan! Linking our names together? It’s like..." Birkoff nuzzled Declan’s neck lovingly. "Like we’re really married, Declan."

"But we are, Sey. I thought you knew that, love." Declan kissed his partner’s Claddagh ring. "This says so."

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

They scrambled to their feet, smoothing their unruly hair and even more disheveled clothing. Declan wrenched open the door.

It was Neil. Tired. Emotional. But very, very glad to be back home. "Your baby’s here." Pause. "Your baby’s home where she belongs, Declan."

"Can we see her?"

"In a moment, Declan. I have something I want to tell you first." Neil’s tone was so serious, Declan felt afraid.

"It’s about your mother."

Declan leaned on his partner, knowing the fatigue and emotional exertion of the past few days must surely be telling its tale on his face. "She’s gone, isn’t she, Neil?"

Neil nodded. "She told me...everything, Declan. She held nothing back. Her time was so short, she needed to tell someone. I’m glad it was me." Tears appeared in Neil’s kind blue eyes.

"I’m glad it was you, too," Declan confessed.

"But I wish it could have been you," Neil added.

"Ack, go on! I lived through it, that’s more than enough for me, thank you very much." As usual, Declan tried to distance himself before anyone else could see the emotion simmering in his storm-grey eyes.

"She said some things that you need to hear, though, Declan. About your father. About Justin. About yourself."

Declan abruptly turned on his heel and strode to the window, looking out over the chateau gardens. No flowers in the dead of winter. No color. No fragrance. Just death. He choked back a sob.

Birkoff stole behind him and wrapped his arms around Declan’s chest. "I’m here, Dec."

"Thank God," Declan whispered, his voice breaking.

"Birkoff...did you know that Declan was abused like you were?"

"N-no," Birkoff replied, puzzled.

"I wasn’t." Declan was adamant.

Neil stepped closer to Declan. "Only Declan doesn’t consider it abuse cause he was protecting his mother. He protected her from his father, and then, from his brother. Justin."

"You make it sound like such a big deal, Neil. People beat each other senseless all over the world, not just in Ireland," Declan snapped out angrily.

"Why did you idolize your brother, Declan? He beat the crap out of your mother, and then you. Why did you want to be just like him?"

Declan’s chest heaved with emotion dangerously close to the surface. "I didn’t."

"You did. You told us you did," Neil corrected.

Birkoff nodded. "You told me that, too, Dec."

"Jesus! I-I wanted what he had!"

"What did he have that you didn’t have, Declan?"

"Power! Okay? He had power! No one ever beat the shit out of my brother! Cause he got in his licks first! No one messed with him! No one!"

Declan was half-shouting, half-crying. Neil braced his hands on Declan’s shoulders gently. "Except you. I’d say you had considerably more power than you realized. And Justin knew it. Hated it. Hated you for it."

Declan looked momentarily confused, catching his breath on a sob.

Neil glanced at Declan sympathetically, letting loose a deep breath he’d been holding. "That’s why he raped you," Neil whispered.

"No...his men raped me."

"That’s another lie you’ve been telling yourself all these years, Declan. Your mother told me how it was," Neil said so quietly, Birkoff had to strain to hear him.

"It nearly killed her. It nearly killed both of you."

"Why are you telling me this now, Neil?" Declan was near breaking.

"It’s her legacy to you, Declan. It’s part of what you need to heal. The other part is Justin’s baby."

Neil put his hand on Declan’s arm, startling the younger man into looking directly into Neil’s care-worn face. "She loved you so much, Declan, you were the one bright spot in her hideously impoverished existence. It broke my heart that I couldn’t tell her you were still alive." Neil covered his eyes with his other hand, feeling the tears he couldn’t shed in Ireland coming to the surface now.

"But you are. And you have to make the most out of this God-given opportunity or it’ll be wasted." He patted Declan on the back, moving away as if to leave.

But Declan whirled around, tears of grief still pouring from his eyes. "It wasn’t her fault, Neil. She couldn’t have stopped him. I never blamed her. Never."

"No. You blamed yourself. Cause that was your job. To protect everyone else. But who protected you, Declan?"

"No one. I didn’t need protecting. I could take care of myself."

"And now?"

Declan’s eyes automatically gravitated towards Birkoff. Swallowing hard, he bit back on the wave of bitterness that threatened to engulf him. "Now I have Sey. And the others. To protect."

"And who takes care of you?" Neil asked softly.

He shrugged uncertainly. Birkoff stepped in between Declan and Neil. "I do," Birkoff said defiantly, daring anyone to shake him loose from that notion.

Declan smiled through his tears. "He does," he agreed.

Neil smiled back wearily. "Good."

There was another knock on the door. This time it was Madeline. With a tiny but carefully wrapped bundle in her arms.

"There’s someone here who would like to meet you, Declan."

Madeline held out the bundle and gently pulled back the blankets surrounding the tiny face and hands.

"Emerant..." Declan breathed out on a sigh, such utter contentment transforming his face instantly.

"Is that your new daughter’s name?" Madeline asked proudly.

Declan glanced sideways at Birkoff. "Actually, we’ve decided to call her Emmy."

"Emmy, that’s sweet, Declan." Madeline smiled, her dark chocolate eyes agleam.

"But her full name, to anyone who asks, is Emerant Mairead Birkoff-McLaren," Declan declared with complete confidence.

Neil caught his breath at the mention of Declan’s mother’s name, somehow intuiting that Declan had known his mother passed on before he told him. As for the hyphenated name, Madeline seemed positively tickled by the idea.

"Would you like to hold her?"

"Could I? We?"

Declan picked up the tiny bundle and stared at the even tinier face. She was so beautiful, his Emmy. Red hair. Silvery-grey eyes. Birkoff was right. One look was all it took to know how right it was.

She didn’t look like Justin at all. She was the image of his mother. "She looks just like Ma," said Declan, a catch in his voice. Neil nodded. "She does."

"She looks just like you, too, Declan."

"No, I can’t see it. She’s a beauty, she is. So perfect. A perfect little girl."

"Hey, mo mhuirin ban. I’m your Da." As if in answer to Declan’s voice, she opened her eyes wide and smiled.

"She’s fallen in love with you already, Dec," said Birkoff softly.

"If she has, tis only cause she hasn’t met you yet," Declan quipped. He held the baby out to Birkoff, showing her off to her ‘other’ father.

Whispering so low, only Birkoff could hear him, Declan called to his new baby, "Hey, mo mhile gra, this here’s your Mom. Only we’re going to call him Daddy, just for the sake of convention."

Birkoff laughed and leaned his head on Declan’s shoulder. "You had this all worked out in your head, didn’t you?"

"Some of it, Sey. Some of it I just get bloody lucky. Like when I met you."

Madeline produced a camera and asked the happy couple to pose with their infant daughter. They had absolutely no trouble managing a smile of immense proportions.

"Sey?"

"Dec?"

"Remember what I told you?"

"Which thing?"

Declan looked mildly exasperated, then ruffled Birkoff’s hair. "Ta gra agam duit."

"Oh..." Birkoff was seized with such a longing, he couldn’t bear it another moment. He reached for Declan, kissing him with such enthusiasm, Madeline and Neil coughed politely.

Birkoff turned to the other couple, his dark eyes sparkling like champagne. "Now that, in case you didn’t know it, is the result of listening to hours of Gaelic."

Once more, there was carefree laughter and playful nudges. Once more, the world was an infinitely kinder place to live in. Once more, there was uncharted territory ahead. But that no longer filled their heads with dread.