Chapter Twenty-Two

Miles away from where he called home, he sat in the empty hotel room, listless and
contemplating himself as an insomniac.  The clock ticked away incessantly and he
computed the hours until he would need to be up and alert, ready for a new day of press
and promo.  He couldn’t say he wasn’t happy.  Not aloud, anyway.  It would seem selfish
and stupid.  He was AJ McLean; a star.  Why shouldn’t he be happy?  Why should he be
filled with an insatiable desire for something more, for anything solid.  Maybe because
when the whole world loved you, it seemed hollow, a lie.  He was living in a dream world
and that was ok, yet he resented the feeling of being alone.  He needed company, he
wasn’t complete as just one.  Missing was the warmth of another person in the
unfamiliar bed in the unfamiliar hotel room in the unfamiliar city.  Missing was the joy
of having somebody being there for him, of someone knowing his thoughts without him
having to grab their attention and voice them aloud.  He needed a companion yet the
role of his career had hindered ‘normal’ peoples’ views of him, making more than a little
difficult finding someone who wanted him for him and not the spotlight careened on
them playing ‘girlfriend’.  God how he hated tour...









 






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