Chapter 4 *REVISED 4/12*

	He stood in front of the door past midnight several days later.  He
hesitantly knocked, wishing she was asleep and knowing the reason why
he had come so late was because of his desire for her to not come to the
door.  He waited, looking at the driveway and seeing two other cars he
didn’t recognize.  He assumed one was Lori’s and was in the process of
trying to figure who’s the last one was when the door opened.  Denise just
looked at him for a full minute, as if trying to memorize his features, afraid
he’d leave as soon as he came.
“ Alex...” She finally said, cautious.  He looked uncomfortable by her
attentive gaze.
“ I-...I was gonna come sooner but...I had some stuff to do...” She gaze no
reply,and instead, hugged him.  When she finally let go of him, she opened
the door wider.
“ Come on in, honey,”  He followed her inside and into the familliar kitchen
where Lori was standing in front of the microwave, her back to him.
“ Who was it?”  She asked, watching the bag of popcorn as it spun on the
microwave plate.
“ Me,” AJ supplied for his Mom who was looking a bit teary eyed as she
quickly fixed the room’s already clean appearance.  Lori turned around and
gave him a skeptical look but didn’t say anything.  
“ So how long are you staying, Alex?” Denise asked, slightly nervous about
seeing her son for so long.
“ Um...I’m not sure yet...Where can I put this stuff?” He asked, indicating
the luggage in his hands.
“ Oh, sorry.  How about down in the den?...” He wrinkled his brow and
glanced at her.
“ Den?  What about the guestroom?”  Denise looked apprehensive but was
interupted from a response when a male’s voice called up.
“ Get the popcorn, sweetheart?” AJ looked at his mother, trying to disguise
the disgust written all over his face.
“ That’s not Kenneth, is it?” He demanded.
“ Yes, it is...” Denise replied calmly, disliking his tone of voice.
“ What’s he doing here so late?” 
“ He’s staying here for a while,” Was all she said before she excused
herself and walked down to the den.  
“ Well, you finally show up?” Lori asked with a raising of her brow.
“ I had shit to do,” 
“ Sure, like you’d ever understand the trouble your mother went through
when you were SUPPOSED to come...”
“ Trouble?  Yeah, right...” He feigned a chuckle as he set his luggage on
the ground and sat onto of the kitchen table.
“ She had your...room...all fixed up, she made a huge dinner- all of your
favorites may I add-, and then spent the whole night in the living room,
expecting her ‘baby’ to come at any minute...That was a load of shit you
put her through last week...” Lori said as she poured the popcorn out into a
bowl.  
“ What’s your Dad doing here?” He asked impatiently, glancing at the den
door.
“ I don’t know when she was gonna tell you but they’re married now,” Lori
put emphasis on the word ‘married’ as she watched AJ’s reaction.
“ Married?  You’re kidding,” He said in disbelief and she shook her head.
“ Which is why you don’t have a guestbedroom to stay in...He moved his
office into the one upstairs, plus her library on this floor-”
“ And I assume you’re in my old room, right?” Denise reappeared with
Kenneth.
“ Alex, meet Ken,” She introduced expectantly.
“ I’ve heard so much about you,” Kenneth greeted warmly, extending his
hand for him to shake.
“ Hi,” Was all AJ said before shaking his hand.
“ We were in the middle of a movie.  Me and Lori can go on and finish it
while you and your mother catch up,” Ken said, looking at Lori so she
could follow him downstairs again.
“ So, Alex...It’s been a long time,” Denise said softly, sitting down on a
kitchen chair as he slid off the table and did the same.
 “ Yeah, it has...” He nodded, unsure of what to say to this woman that he
had abandoned.
“ I, uh, watched the news about...About your summer...” He sighed warily.
“ Yeah, at least it did some good, huh?” 
“ I wished you would have told me.”
“ Ma, it was rehab, not a vacation.  What good would it have done to tell
you,” She looked taken aback slightly and he felt his own anger at himself
stir in the pit of his stomach.  Why was he being so cruel?  This was his
mother, for Christ’s sake.
“ So you’ve given up on drinking?” 
“ Yes.”
“ I’m proud of you, Alex...” She said sincerely, wishing he’d meet her eyes.
“ So you and Kenneth are pretty close?...” He didn’t let on the fact that he
knew she had gotten married to him.
“ Yes,”  There was a silence before she looked at him again.
“ What made you want to come back to Florida?” She asked.
“...I’m not sure...I...I don’t know, I guess it felt like the right thing to do at
the time...” He got up.
“ I’m really tired, Ma...I guess I’m gonna stay at a hotel for the night,” She
looked at him quickly.
“ Hotel?  Why?  The den isn’t uncomfortable or anything.  I know you hate
hotels,” 
“ I used to hate them.  They’re not bad anymore.” He answered, so used to
all the hotels that they had pretty much lost their iciness.
“ Alex, you haven’t stepped foot in this house for two years.  I want you
here tonight, honey,” He sighed inwardly.
“ What about the movie?” 
“ Movie?  Oh.  It should be done with soon.  Are you hungry?  You could
eat while-” 
“ I ate before I came.” He broke in, which was a complete lie; he hadn’t
eaten all day. 
“ I need to go pick up some stuff from a grocery store or something...”
“ This late?” 
“ Yeah.   By the time I get back, the movie should be done with.” She
looked at him skeptically.
“ I will be back, Ma.  I’m not going anywhere for a while,” He assured her,
planting a kiss on her forehead before walking through the kitchen and out
the front door.  Like he couldn’t watch his damn movie upstairs.  The air
was humid and he could tell there was going to be a major storm that
night.  And of course he didn’t have a car.  He managed to get the number
for a taxi and he called off his cell phone, waiting impatiently for it .  The
first drops had already fallen when the cab finally showed up.
“ Where to?” 
“ That diner place over on Riley Avenue,” The driver showed no intrest to
AJ so they both sat in silence, AJ silently fuming.  Nice welcome he had
recieved.  And they were married for Christ’s sake.  Coming back after
losing touch all this time was a stupid thing.  Hell, he hadn’t even given it
actual thought, just followed the guys to Florida.  There was nothing in
Florida for him anymore.  He wasn’t dependent on his mother; she was
doing fine without him.  The guys had their own lives, some married.  Who
did he have here?  Not anyone to call special to him.   There was barely
any reason for him to visit, his Grandma wasn’t even living anymore.  He
sighed in frustration, hating the feeling of not knowing where he belonged. 
The driver pulled up into the parking lot for the 24 hour diner and stopped
at the door.
“ $6.48...” The cabbie said indifferently.  AJ silently handed him a ten and
got out of the cab, ducking quickly into the restaurant to  prevent from
getting soaked in the now steady rain.  The dry air and warm atmosphere
put him at ease as he scanned the late night bunch.  It was almost empty,
except for a few people.  He walked up to order, sliding on a stool and
waiting for the waitress to turn to him.  She greeted him maternly,
reminding him strongly of Brian’s mom.
“ What will you have?”
“ Um...Coffee...And a turkey sandwich...” He answered, eyes still on the
menu.
“ Coffee and a  sandwhich?” He turned to the person sitting a few stools
away after the waitress had went to another customer.
“ Yeah...” He said uncertainly, but curious of the brunnette who had an
amused smile on her face.
“ Nice combination.  Any other drink, and you choose coffee with a
sandwhich...I’m Alyssa...” She said with a tone that matched her smile,
extending her hand.
“ Alex.” He said, reaching over to shake her hand, returning her smile with
slight skepticism.
“ I haven’t seen you here,  are you from out of town?” She asked casually
as the restaurant attendant placed his coffee in front of him. 
“ I’m from...Well, I used to live around here.  I’m visiting my mom,” She
nodded and watched as he sipped his coffee, black.
“  Gross.” She wrinkled her nose and it was his turn to look amused.
“ It’s been a long night,” He said in means of explanation.
“ Most people go for the harder stuff,” 
“ Yeah, well I gave that stuff up.” They both looked up when the door’s bell
chimed as someone else walked.  The lady whose nametag read Martha
placed his sandwich  next to his coffee.
“ Thank you...” He looked at the sandwich, trying to work up some appetite.
He took a half-hearted bite and glanced at the girl.
“ So what, you come here every night or something?” 
“ What makes you think that?” 
“ The fact that you know the difference between newwcomers and
regulars,”
“ Oh.  Well, I come here pretty often, after work,” He nodded.
“ Where do you work?” 
“ At a tiny bookstore downtown.” 
“ Cool...” There was a pause as he took another bite of his sandwich.
“ Where does your mother live?” She asked, stirring her own cup of coffee.
“ Over on Bradford Court...What about you?  You live alone or with
someone?” 
“ Alone...My parents live all the way in Ruskin.” She finished her coffee
and fished through her purse.  AJ watched, disappointed because he
assumed she was leaving.  She put some money next to her plate and
pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.  He glanced at it and felt his
craving return.  The last of his sandwich was sitting back on the plate, all
appetite gone.  He downed his coffee and ordered another cup from
Martha.  
“ You smoke?” She asked, offering him one from the pack as she lit one
herself.
“ Thank you,” Martha looked disapprovingly and chided Alyssa in a
motherly way.
“ You know you can’t smoke here.  Go sit at one of the booths,” 
“ Yeah, yeah...” Alyssa stood up and looked at AJ questiongly.  He stood
up after placing money for his food on the table also.  They sat at a booth
at the back of the diner.  He took her lighter and lit his cigarette.
“ You said you were having a hard day?” She inquired, raising an eyebrow.
“ Yeah...I shouldn’t have come back here.” He said, inhaling deeply.
“ Then you never would have met me,” She said, lightening the mood.
“ Too true.” He laughed, feeling slightly better than he had all night.  They
chatted for about an hour before she glanced at her watch.
“ It’s getting late, I’d better get going,” She said, scribbling something on a
bit of napkin.
“ Call me sometime,” She said, sliding the paper over to him and standing
up.
“ Well, it was nice meeting you, Alyssa...” He said, slipping the number in
his wallet.
“ Likewise, Alex...Take care...” He watched her leave, slowly finishing off
his thrid cigarette.  
“ Smoking again,” He muttered to himself as he let out a wisp of smoke. 
Feeling a little lightheaded, he got up half an hour later and decided a little
rain never hurt anyone before walking the distance to a 7-11.  Once there,
he bought himself a pack of Marlboros and a lighter before hailing a cab.
“ Hi,” 
“ Hey,” Aj greeted back, grateful for this one’s friendliness.
“ Where are you off to tonight?” Aj sighed, not wanting to go back to his
Mom’s yet.
“ It’s been a while since I’ve been here.  Could you just drive around
downtown for a while?” 
“ Sure thing.” The cab started and made it’s way through the rain.
“ Mind if I smoke?” 
“ No...” He lit up again, all the while silently scolding himself for picking up
the habit again.
“ So how long has it been?” The cabbie asked, glancing at  him in the
rearview mirror.
“ Too long...” The driver chuckled and made small talk, pointing out all the
sites he would to a tourist.  It was around three when he finally asked the
driver to take him to Bradford Court.
“ Thanks, man.” He said when the car stopped at the house.
“ No problem.” He told AJ the fare and AJ handed him the money, along
with a large tip for his company.
“ Name’s Charlie, if you ever need a cab,” AJ memorized the number of
his cab before heading inside.  He unlocked the front door with his old
keys and tried to walk in as quietly as possible.  It was useless because
his Mom and Kenneth were in the kitchen, talking.  He purposely coughed,
letting them know he was here so as not to surprise them.
“ Hi,” He said, standing at the kitchen doorway.  They both looked up and
greeted him.
“ Where did you go?” Denise asked curiously.
“ I met up with an old friend,” He replied, walking into the kitchen and
setting the pack of cigarettes on the island while going to get a glass of
water.  
“ Was the movie good?” 
“ Yes, it was pretty good actually,” Kenneth answered.
“ Where’s Lori?” 
“ She went to bed,” 
“ Oh...In the guestroom?” He said, pretending still to be clueless of their
marriage.  No one gave a reply but he saw them exchange looks.
“ Well, I guess I’m off to bed,” He said, feeling as though he was
interrupting their conversation.
“ Okay, Sweetheart.  Good night,”
“ ‘Night, Alex,” ( Ken)
“ ‘Night,” He picked up his bags and headed down the stairs.  Pausing, he
heard their conversation resume and he gave a sardonic chuckle.  He shut
the door to the den and walked down the rest of the long flight of stairs.  He
sighed as he scanned the den.  They had changed all the furniture and he
could see they had fixed the bathroom.  Change.  How he hated it.  This
seemed to upset him a bit as he undressed and pulled on a pair of pj
bottoms.  He took a seat on the leather couch and turned on the tv, willing
his nicotine craving away.  He felt guilty, he had been smoking all night
long, the most he had in months.  And it was torture for him to quit but here
he was, back at start.  
“ So what.  Another cigarette isn’t gonna kill you tonight,” He muttered,
shaking another out of the pack.  He was sitting in complete silence ( the tv
was on mute) for a good several seconds, taking a few calming drags off
his cigarette when the smoke alarm started ringing shrilly, scaring the hell
out of him.
“ Fuck!” He jumped, nearly dropping the cigarette on the ground.   He
stubbed it out and looked at the alarm.  His mom was in the den in two
seconds flat, looking worridly at him before turning it off.  AJ stood, his
heart beating wildly still when the house  fell silent again.
“ I-I forgot about the alarm,” He said shakedly when Denise turned to him.
“ We’ve got an alarm in every section of the house,” She said and he
understood her subliminal warning of smoking in the house.
“ Okay.  Sorry...” She glanced at the stub of his cigarette and back at him.
“ If you do feel the need to smoke, you can go out through this door,” She
said, indicating the glass door that led to the patio.
“ Allright...” 
“ That’s a disgusting habit though,” 
“ Got it...” He nodded.
“ The sofa over in the corner pulls out into a bed,” She informed him.
“ Thanks...”  She started towards the stairs again before turning to him.
“ Alex...I’m glad you’re back,” She said sincerely before going back
upstairs.   Great, he was jittery again.  He shut off the light and jumped in
the shower for a hot shower to calm him.  He finally got into bed, realizing
how tired he was...







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