I
was riding down the road 28 months after the death of my son, on my way
to my daughter's wedding, feeling happy about things, my beautiful daughter
marrying a wonderful man. Riding those beautiful country roads to
the highway that would take me to my hometown, this overwhelming feeling
came into my heart. How much I missed my son! I just simply
missed him.
I thought it's
been so long since I saw his face and held my boy in my arms. How
much I missed him, just missed him. His touch, his smell, the sound
of his voice, his smile. Not like when he first died, ripping at
my faith in God, thinking what a failure I had been. That I could
not even save my own son.
When I gave
control over to God and His wisdom. He knows the beginning, the middle,
and the end of our lives. I also realized that I may never have the
answers as to why my son had to die so young, in the spring of his life.
Not while I'm living on this earth. I am at peace with that.
I was released from my earthly bonds. I gave my heart, my son, and
my life to Gd and His wisdom. No more searching. No more questions.
My first year
was full of unanswered questions, grief, and despair. My second year
full of hope that my son is safe, safer than me and in the best company,
with our Lord and Savior! I still cry and miss my son.
But now I have assurance that I will see him again, in the perfect time,
in a perfect place. When I meet Jesus our Savior, a Savior my son
already knows.
