Each
year, we want our Holiday Footprints Newsletter to be an encouragement
to those who are facing their 1st or 2nd year without their child or loved
one. We ask our readers if they have anything they would like to
contribute? A favorite story? A poem? New traditions
they use to honor their memory? How do they handle Thanksgiving and/or
Christmas or New Years? These are some of the replies we received.
~A CHRISTMAS
PRAYER~
O Lord, there
sit apart in lonely places,
At this, the
gladdest time of the year
Some stricken
ones with sad and weary faces
To whom the
throught of Christmas brings no cheer.
For these,
O Father, our petition hear
And send the
comforting Christ Child near.
Lord, some
sit by lonely hearthstones sobbing,
Who feel this
night all earthly love denied,
Who hear but
dirges in the loud bells throbbing
For Loved
Ones lost who blessed last Christmas tide.
For thesse,
O Father, our petition hear
And send the
loving Christ Child very near.
~Author Unknown~
Copied from
Bereaved Parents Share: Poems of Hope & Comfort
~Clifford &
Donna Scheck~
Since we lost
our first two children in 1999 we had put up two Christmas trees, our traditional
tree and an Angel tree for the kids (full of angel ornaments) ~ after we
lost our daughter last year we did not put up a tree for Christmas.
The last few Christmas' she had picked out the tree and we had all decorated
it, we just could not bring ourselves to even look at Christmas trees;
however this year we have a granddaughter who will be about 8 months old
at Christmas time, we plan to put the angel tree up for her.
So I guess
the new tradition to honor our children's memories is to put up an Angel
Ornament Tree for them.
Clifford &
Donna have lost three children. Savanna (age 10) and Clifford (age
8) were returning from walking to a store and were about 10 feet up the
driveway when a drunk driver lost control of his car and ran over both
of them. Their daughter, Cansus (age 16) was a passenger in a car
that was coming to a stop for a red light when they were hit by a drunk
driver from behind. This shoved them into an intersection, hitting
another car, which caused them to hit a utility pole, which caught the
car on fire. All five kids were burned beyond recognition.
The Schecks are involved with MADD, speaking at Impact Panels held at the
police station etc.
~Gloria Durham
~ Grandmother~
Here is a poem
that my grandson wrote before he died. He wanted to play football
but because of the diabetes his weight was hard to control. He had
to weigh less than 90 to 100 pounds for tackle football. He weighed
85 pounds and we would get to 88 and he would start eating the wrong things
without me knowing about it. So his weight would go up and down not
getting to 90 or above, so we played touch football.
Something we
are doing in honor of his memory:
At the time
of his death it was said to be suicide, but it was revealed to several
children that evil played a part in that act of suicide. My niece's
5 year old son said that the devil lied to Marquise and told him he wouldn't
die. One of his friends at church gave his mom a picture that he
had drawn. The picture had an imp (demon, or worker of evil) with
his hands in a pushing position over a coffin or gravestone. I believe
his interest in those Pokemon cards and Uoko cards released the demon that
convinced him to try the stunt. He had seen a movie where the person
got shot down or cut down from being hanged and lived. Every chance
I get I tell young people that the devil is real and he is using every
means to steal, kill and destroy you while you are young. The cards
have pictures of demon looking creatures and words that don't look like
English that very well could be a spell or incantation to call a demon
up or out. The church also ministered to the parents about monitoring
toys and games for the present of evil. Bloody video games, evil
looking toys, and games about evil, these items are just setting up your
child for a visit from evil. I know for a fact that it is so easy
to just say it is harmless, what can a toy or playing card do? Because
this is how I felt about those Pokemon cards.
~DELEN~
By Regina
Singletary ~ mother of Delen Singletary
D is for your
daring spirit, so free and unafraid as you walked the path to Heaven.
We know you did not fear for Jesus and Pops was ever so near.
Oh how we love
you!
E is for your
spakling eyes, so bright, so loving always looking for love and gently,
tenderly giving it out to all who loved you.
Oh how we love
you!
L is for your
life, your laughter that so filled our hearts with your priceless, precious
love that endures forever and makes our lives worth living.
Oh how we love
you!
E is for your
eternal faith that was deep in your soul and how you spread that faith
wide like the wings of an eagle soaring far above the troubles life brings,
higher and brighter towards the sky..........on the wings of faith &
prayer.
Oh how we love
you!
N means Never
forgetting who you were, what your life means to those who loved you.
Knowing that you Delen Singletary have left us all with a little part of
Heaven.
Oh how we love
you!
"I can't seem
to move forward since Delen's death. I kind of feel stuck.
I would love to put his poem in the Holiday Newsletter. Maybe some
how it will help me to get thru this year. Thanks for all your good
work and prayers."
~Ron &
June Gorman~
Since we lost
our beloved son, Dan, we remember him on holidays, his birthday, and the
anniversary of our losing him by lighting a candle and letting it burn
until we turn in for the night. On Christmas we leave his chair empty
and have a candle lit there at the table also. It is really hard
for us but in a sense he is with us. He is forever in our hearts.
On Dan's birthday
and anniversary we also put flowers on the altar at the Church in his memory.......Afterwards
we take the flowers out to the cemetery.
These are some
of our new traditions as we struggle with our "new norm."
In loving memory
of our son, Daniel
April 14,
1969 - August 11, 2002
~THANKSGIVING~
Thanksgiving
has many meanings for us
Originally
it was for thanks in God we Trust
It was a time
for remembering why we were here
Our forefathers
came for freedom so dear
Each of us
would celebrate in our own way
Family and
friends all happy that day
The weather
outside had no effect
Everything
was ready the table was set
This year
is different as a place is bare
A loved one
is gone who once sat there
Our thoughts
of celebration have turned to grief
Thanksgiving
is different as we are in disbelief
We think of
all the things to be thankful today
But thoughts
of our loved who passed away
Comes into
our minds like it was yesterday
The table
once surrounded by happy faces
Now is filled
with memories and empty spaces
Still you
bow your head and thank God above
For all the
things present and blessings of love
In ending
your prayer you add one more line
Dear God I
hope my loved one is fine
You have not
forgotten your loved one that day
Your loved
one lives on in God's truth and way.
By: Robert
Walters Sr.
Used with
permission
~AULD LANG
SYNE~
We remember
the song Auld Lang Syne
This closes
the year we are to leave behind
12 months
have come and we are alive
Wondering
how we ever survived
We grew this
year and we learned some things
We learned
what understanding and compassion brings
Forgiveness
we may not yet allow
Time will
tell us when and how
The tragic
event that we still endure
Is cradled
in love so fine and so pure
Some days
a memory brings tears to our eyes
The question
still unanswered is we don't know why
On New Year's
Eve when the ball comes down
How many of
us will still wear a frown
What will
the New Year bring to our life
Will it bring
an end to our pain and strife
These are
things I have no answer for
We have survived
12 months once more
So as the
song is played one more time
Remember the
words of Auld Lang Syne
By: Robert
Walters Sr.
Used with
permission
I found my
son and cried
I wish it
was I who had died
Robert Walters
Sr.
Dad of Robbie
8/16/1973
- 12/14/2002
Please visit
Robert's web site
~Families
Of Suicide Victims~
~SATURDAY IN
AUTUMN~
Written for
Kevin Dolan Adams
Gayle Robinson
(Mom)
You helped
me to rake the leaves
Then stumbled
through each pile
Two little
feet so quick & sure
Were with
me all the while.
Next we cleared
the flowerbeds
Of weeds and
fallen limbs
It pleased
you so, that I seemed to play
Through all
your childish whims.
We toiled the
ground with a hoe
And ever so
gently you dropped in the bulbs
Full of joy
we sang a tune....
Anticipating
for Spring to come and make our flowers grow.
Then you helped
me wash the car
Each tiny
smear a work of art
For little
hands are ever so precious
To your mother's
heart.
~A TRADITION
OF LIGHTING CANDLES~
As we light
these four candles in honor of you, we light one for our GRIEF, one for
our COURAGE, one for our MEMORIES and one for our LOVE.
The first candle
represents our GRIEF. The pain of losing you is intense. It
reminds us of the depth of our love for you.
The second
candle represents our COURAGE - to comfort our sorrow, to comfort each
other, to change our lives.
The third candle
is in your MEMORY - the times we laughed, the times we cried, the times
we were angry with each other, the silly things you did, the caring and
joy you gave us.
This light
is for the light of LOVE.
As we enter
this holiday season, day by day, we cherish the special place in our hearts
that will always be reserved for you. We thank you for the gift your
living brought to each of us. We love you.
From Holiday
Help: Coping for the Bereaved
by Sherry
Gibson & Sandra Graves
~WRITTEN BY
JOANN GLIM~
In Honor Of
Granddaughter Melissa
The first year
my only granddaughter died, I didn't know what to do to honor her for the
holidays. She had died the day she was born, so, I had no sweet memories
to hold....only the promise of possibilities that would never be fulfilled.
I bought a
handcrafted Christmas tree ornament that reminded me of what she might
be like. The first year was hard as I hung the ornament on the tree.
My tears seemed to make the lights around it shine all the brighter.
I spent time with my thoughts of her and the dreams that would never be
and somehow, having her near, as with the ornaments for my grandsons, made
the holidays bearable. Now, as times go on (she would be 9), I take
time to tell her what has happened in the past year. Seeing that
beautiful ornament fills me with joy and reminds me that she will always
be a part of me and my family.
Founder of:
~CHILDREN'S
MEMORIAL & GARDEN INC.~
~FROM JEANETTER
BREWER, MOTHER OF KEVIN~
Sam, Brian
and me are doing OK, its and has been a tough month for us, but by the
grace of Jesus and our faith and hope we are getting by day by day...we
did as we have the past 3 years (yes, 3 since Kevin was killed 24 days
before his 24th birthday), taken fresh flowers and balloons.
~A SPECIAL
BIRTHDAY~
Please God,
make them remember that today is a special birthday.
Make them
remember that the memories don't go away.
Bless them
with ears to hear and hearts that care.
Enable them
to listen while I share.
Shelter them
that they may never know my pain.
Help them
to help me know that my child's life was not in vain.
Help them
to remember, Lord, that I wish my child was here
So we could
celebrate.
To understand
that I still feel the nearness of my child.
To see beyond
my smile and the words "I'm okay."
Please God,
just let one remember today is a special birthday!
~Author Unknown~
Thank you for
letting me share this...Today September 26, Kevin would have been 26 years
old...yet he is still 23 because he is in Heaven with our Lord Jesus Christ...each
holiday, birthday and special occasion is hard and painful but we get through
it...again
