The poison had saturated his body causing his heart to shudder and his lungs to gasp for one last gulp of air that was never inhaled. He had taken the coward's way out and punched his own ticket to eternity. Suicide had been the only sure way out, but as Jack looked down at what he become, he decided that maybe death wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

    Sounds permeated the landscape around where Jack awoke to eternity. He really hadn't expected to "awake" once the poison had accomplished its task. He just figured that he would blink out like a worn out star. He couldn't have been more mistaken.

    "Hey you, Jack Jeremiah Johnson! Get up off the ground and get your ass over here!" a booming voice commanded.

    Jack looked around as he tried to stand up. Something wasn't working quite right. He had two legs, but they weren't his legs! Jack screamed as he realized that he turned into a chimpanzee.

    "Nooooooo!" he howled. "No! I want to go back!"

    "Ain't going to happen."

    Jack looked up into the face of a huge gorilla.

    "It's always the same when you self-wasters arrive. Did you think there would be some grand welcoming committee? You blew it. You're stuck and you're mine!"  The gorilla reached down and picked Jack up. Jack struggled against the gorilla's strength and the gorilla laughed and brought him into a small wood frame house, closed the door, locked it and put Jack on the floor.

    "Time for judgment, Mr. Johnson."

    "What do you mean judgment? Am I going to hell?" Jack asked, his voice trembling.

    "Hell?" the gorilla repeated. "That's all you've ever believed it. You just never could get down the concept that there just MIGHT be something better than hell out there in the vast wasteland of your sorry life."

    "Nothing ever worked out right. I tried my best to get things right, but after a while, what was the point?"

    The gorilla pretended to play a violin.

    "That 'poor me' thing might have worked back on Earth, but here, it doesn't fly. You made a choice that simply is not reversible. Now, shut up and listen, Mr. Johnson because this might be the last time that anything will ever again be mentioned regarding you and your life. Once this conversation is ended, eternity will begin for you in a manner befitting one who had the arrogance to waste the opportunity of one last chance to make things right. If you so choose, you will be given one option to literally start from the beginning."

    Jack was about to say something, dig into his mind for another grand excuse as to why he had yet again messed up, but found that he was mute. When he attempted to speak, all that came out of his mouth were grunts. He jumped up and down in chimpanzee fashion trying to get his voice to function, but to no avail.

    "Mr. Johnson, I was the first "life-waster", the original. Look at me. I started as you are now, but alone in this primal land. Over time, I learned. My hope is that you will also. Some never do. They remain in the state in which they arrive, refusing to face up to their shortcomings and advance into higher states, but it is possible. Don't waste this last opportunity though the road will seem endless and, at times, impossible. She who created this vastness is full of great compassion and motherly love, but she expects each of us to face our own truths. If you choose not to, she will abide by your decision and allow you to remain her for as ever long as you avoid the truth," the gorilla explained. "Now, Mr. Johnson, behold your life."

    A kaleidoscope of colors surrounded Jack and his body was swept up into a vortex. He tumbled and tumbled, head over heels and then, in a sudden moment, was watching his mother cradle him in her arms in the old two-story house in Albion, NY where he was born. His father stood next to the bed, tears running into his beard, as he beheld his son for the first time.

    The love and caring of his parent's first moment with him faded too fast for Jack. He had erased his father's and mother's faces over time and a rush of emotion almost smothered him.

    Details of his life flashed and passed before him. Jack was battered not only with his own roller coaster feelings, but he literary felt the pain, disappointment, betrayals and hurts that he had brought down on the hearts and souls of others. His callous disregard for humanity and his need to find excuses to cover his lack of heart and compassion in his quest for avoiding involvement beyond the moment of a necessary manipulation, rushed at him like an out of control race car. Minute details of his life were brought to the front and center. An understanding began to settle into his soul about how he had learned to escape responsibility for his actions. Jack came to the horrible realization that he had allowed himself to become a master manipulator and liar during his sixty-two years of life. He had wasted the gifts that he had been given and the love that had been offered repeatedly despite his selfish ways.

    Jack  realized that if he had turned himself into the police, told the simple truth and faced the consequences of his years of stealing from his company, this all could have been avoided. Workers who had been loyal to the company throughout tough times, had been betrayed and left penniless, their retirement funds transferred to secret accounts which would now take years to discover.

    It all came crashing down upon Jack. Wasted! He screamed in the sounds of a chimpanzee as his judgment ended. But... the gorilla had said that he could work his way back. It didn't have to end this way.

    As Jack climbed up the trunk of tree in a place that was now his home, he made his last choice before he became truly primate.

    He would learn to face the truth, walk the long path and make his way back  no matter how long it took. He would find the beginning again and this time get it right.