Benji spent the next two days avoiding everyone. Luckily, the band had those days off for travel. Joel wanted to help his brother so much, but couldn’t if he wouldn’t speak to him. That’s when Joel decided to take matters into his own hands. He called Rylann back at her apartment in New York.
“Hello?” A groggy sounding Rylann answered the phone.
“Hey Ry, it’s Joel…” he said quickly, so she didn’t hang up thinking it was Benj.
“Oh hey Joel…what’s up?” she knew exactly what he was calling for, but humored herself.
“Umm…well, I guess you probably know what I wanna talk to you about..” Joel said hesitantly.
“Yea, I can probably figure. Look Joel, I don’t exactly know what I can tell you. I don’t mean to blow you off, but I think I should talk to Benji about all of this first…”she said as gently as possible.
“I understand, um…do you want to talk to him now?” He said with hope in his voice.
“I’m sorry Joel…I just don’t think I have sorted through things enough to talk to him. Joel…does he hate me?” she said stifling her tears.
“No Ry…he could never hate you, I just think he’s hurt, and confused. But listen, I know the rest of us are really worried about you…you know, you shouldn’t be alone, it’s violating..” Rylann cut him off
“I know Joel, it’s violating the agreement…I have already thought about that. As far as they know I am touring with you guys, so they haven’t stopped by yet. Though I am sure they will soon, to make sure I wasn’t lying…”
“Well, if your willing, umm..Jayde said she would like to come stay with you, and Zandria said she could come too, but it’s up to you…”
“Well…I hadn’t really thought about it, but I guess company would be kinda nice.” She didn’t tell Joel, but the last night had been hard for her. She wanted so badly to cut, but couldn’t do it with Benji in mind. That was something that had never happened before. Although she loved Jace, she had never felt guilty…but she did when she thought about Benji.
“Well…here, talk to Jayde and you girls can work out some details…”
“Ok, sounds good Joel, see ya”
“Yea, and Ry…just remember, no matter what happens with you and Benj, we’re all still your friends and we all love you.”
“Thanks Joel…send my love to everyone else, Benji too.”
~*~
Jayde and Rylann worked out arrangements for her and Zandria to fly in that evening. As Jayde and Zandria gathered the last of their things and prepared to go to the airport with Joel and Paul, Jayde stopped by Benji’s bunk. Benji, being so reclusive, was unaware of the arrangements. Jayde briefly filled him in on what was going on.
“I just thought you should know Benj…”Jayde said with sympathy.
“That Jay…umm, do you think you could give her something for me?” He looked down at his feet.
“Sure Benj.” She smiled He pulled a piece of paper he had taped to his bunk wall down and stuffed it into an envelope. He handed it to Jayde.
“Thanks Jay,” he said, as his eyes glistened with approaching tears. She smiled reassuringly, and gave him a quick hug. At the airport, Joel kissed Jayde tenderly, before pulling he close.
“Bring her back to him…”he whispered. He was really worried about his brother. Part of him was breaking inside too, it was his twin dying.
“I will Baby, I will…” They kissed once more and then she and Zandria boarded a plane for New York City.
~*~
While Zandria slept, curiosity got the best of Jayde and she peeked inside the envelope.
Ry,
I don’t really know what I can say to you…I guess everything I was
thinking I put down the only way I know how…turn over
Benj
Jayde flipped the note over and tried to read Benji’s scratch
handwriting.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
Inside the envelope was the engagement ring Benji had given to Rylann. She read the bottom on the note.
Whether we ever, become a ‘we’ again, I gave that ring to you…it’s yours, I want you to have it.
Jayde quickly stuffed the note back into the envelope as the announcement that the flight would be landing shortly was heard….