A Fire Inside - Chapter 4

"Rylann…Rylann, look I know you may not wanna talk to me right now, but I have to explain..I made a huge mistake…look, I am coming over… please talk to me Ry…" Benji waited for some sort of response as he left a message on her machine, while he frantically rushed toward Rylann's apartment. He hung up his cell phone and continued toward his destination. He ran the steps of her building, to her floor, then to her door. He paused to knock, but then decided he better not. `Maybe she hasn't waken up yet, maybe she never saw the note…' Benji tried to reason with himself. He opened the always unlocked apartment door, and rushed toward the coffee table, the note was moved…'she read it'…he looked to the couch, no Rylann. He began his search through the large apartment in search of his best friend, his love. He made his way back , once again, to the last room, her bedroom…"Rylann, where are you?" he desperately cried out. He heard a soft whimper come from her bathroom, he turned immediately and rushed toward the closed bathroom door. He stood outside and listened, not wanting to disturb her if she was, indecent. He heard her moan very faintly…"Ry…Ry are you ok?" She made an indistinguishable sound, before he opened the door. "Rylann, Oh my god!! Rylann, baby, what's going on…what is this?"

Benji picked up the bottle that rested beside her hand. The normally tan girl was extremely pale and sick looking…She said nothing, with the exception of a soft moan or whimper once or twice. "Rylann, what have you done…What have I done?" he scooped her into his arms and brought her to the living room.."Oh Ry I am so sorry… GOD!! It was all a mistake, a misunderstanding, Rylann I love you, your gonna be ok, just hold on" he pleaded with her, as she slipped in and out of consciousness. He grabbed the phone and quickly dialed Joel's cell phone number…"JOEL!! You have to come pick me up..we have to get Rylann to the hospital..Joel Hurry!"

"Benj? What are you talking about, what's going on" a half awake Joel asked as he put on some pants.

"Listen, don't ask questions, just drive here now and take us to the hospital…NOW!!"

Joel did as he was told, as he sped up to Rylann's apartment building to a frazzled looking Benji holding an unconscious Rylann in his exhausted arms. "Oh my god Benj…what happened?"

"Just help me get her in and then I'll tell you…we have to hurry…" The brothers situated the lifeless girl in the back seat of Joel's car and sped to the nearest hospital. Benji told Joel how he had found her, and what had happened earlier in the night.

"Jesus Christ Benj…I thought you said you would never leave her?"

"I never thought I would, until I started thinking about what you said, about how much more it hurt both of us to keep it this way…if only I had known a few minutes sooner..God, Joel…she loves me, she really loves me…and now, I might loose her, all because I was too afraid to tell her..Joel, I'm scared."

"She's gonna be ok Benj, I promise.."

Joel's car screeched to a stop in front of Manhattan Memorial Hospital. Benji took Rylann in his arms as Joel ran ahead frantically searching for help.

* 1 hour later *

"GOD! Why is this taking so long, don't they know anything yet?!?"

"Benj..calm down, we're gonna find something out soon" Billy tried his best to comfort his unnerved friend. Everyone scattered about the emergency room, waiting for any kind of word on how Rylann was doing. She had her stomach pumped to get rid of whatever was in her system. Benji had no idea why she even had that kind of medication in her. The doctor had informed them that she had excessive amounts of anti-depressants in her body. They said it was an obvious suicide attempt. Benji didn't understand, not Rylann, not his Ry…she was always so happy and fun…she had no use for anti-depressants.

"Mr. Madden? Benjamin Madden?"

"Yes, that's me, how is she, how's Rylann?" He asked anxiously.

"She's stable now, but was slipping in and out for a while there, you got her here just in time. Listen, Mr. Madden, the medication was a strong form of a prescription anti-depressant…do you know why she would have this type of medication. Was she seeing a physician for depression? She tried to take her life tonight, do you have any explanation as to what may have triggered her suicide attempt?"

Benji tried to absorb all the information, but all he could do was shake his head no. Joel stepped up and tried his best to explain what Benji told him in the car. The doctor took those things into consideration.

"Mr. Madden, one last thing, this note…did u break up with her, was that what set her off?" Benji nodded, in a sense he had broken up with her. "Thank you for all your help…she is awake and you can see her now, please only one at a time, she is still very unaware. She is going to need to spend a few days here…she will go through psychiatric evaluations as soon as she is able to." With that the doctor led the first visitor toward the room.

Benji walked slowly toward her bed, she had regained some of her color, but was still so, so un-Rylann. Her eyes were closed as he neared her bed. He knelt by her side, taking her hand into his. He kissed her hand lightly…"Ry..Ry, it's me, wake up" he said soothingly. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked toward where her hand was being held.

"Get away from me! Get away from me!" she jolted and ripped her hand away from his.

"But, Ry..it's me, Benji"

"I know who you are…you…" She broke down in sobs. Benji tried to comfort her, but the closer he came the more she screamed for him to leave.

"But, Ry..I don't understand…I came to tell you, the note..it was a mistake…I talked to Billy, I know how you feel…"

"That's why you did this….you were mad at me, because I rejected you, so you were getting back at me…"

"Rylan, no…what are you talking about…I love you…I love you so much more than as my best friend…I want to spend the rest of my life with you…" He was so confused…she had to know he loved her, he would never `get back at her'.

"You did this to me, it was all a game…I was better, and then you took that all away. I never want to see you again…"

"But…" he pleaded, but she turned her back to face him and sobbed to herself. Benji slowly stood up and walked out of the room…He walked past Joel and all the others in the waiting room…out the doors…and through the streets of Manhattan.

Chapter 5
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