Author's Note: *BTW…Jace is introduced into this chapter..Jace is Rylann's ex- boyfriend. He's not IN the chapter, but his name is, and I didn't want anyone to be confused. So Jace= Rylann's ex. ENJOY!
Joel, utterly confused by what had just happened, quickly jumped up and ran into Rylann's hospital room. Billy in the meanwhile took off after Benji, leaving Paul, Jayde, and Zandria in the waiting room not sure of what to do.
"Ry…" Joel entered the room cautiously.
"Go away Benji, I told you I don't want to see you" Rylann responded without turning her back towards the guest.
"Ry, it's Joel…what's going on?" He stepped next to her bed. Rylann quickly turned to face Joel. She found it so difficult to look at him, he reminded her too much of Benji.
"I…I couldn't look at him, I told him, to..to leave. I told him I never want to see him again. God, Joel…does he have any idea what this did to me?"
"Ok Ry, wait, you gotta back it up a little for me. I hardly know what is going on. Benji could barely explain, he was too overwhelmed by, by everything. So tell me everything from the time you guys went to your place…." Joel soothingly explained.
"I don't know Joel. We were laying the couch and he was playing with my hair and everything seemed great. Neither of us was talking and I just assumed we were enjoying each other's company. I guess I fell asleep, well…god, I don't even know why I am telling you this, but… while I was asleep, I had a dream. It was so real..Me and Benji, we, well…had sex. But, gosh, it was so weird. I never had a dream like that before. I guess it was just that, I finally said out loud today that I love him, that I want to be with him, which is something I had hardly admitted to myself." Rylann took a deep breath and then continued. "So I woke up and Benji had left. I found a note lying on the coffee table…" her voice quivered and tears fell freely from her eyes. "The note said that he didn't think we should be around each other anymore. He said he loved me, but that he didn't want to hurt either of us anymore. Joel, I don't understand. Did he talk to Billy and Paul, is that what happened, did I scare him away?" she begged Joel for answers.
Joel looked down at the bed, and took Rylann's cold, pale hand into his. "No Ry…you didn't scare him." He stopped and looked back up at her face, she desperately searched for answers. "Ry…he loves you too. He always has, and tonight, ugh this is all my fault! While we were in the bathroom, I talked to him about your relationship. I told him that he couldn't keep breaking himself apart. Ry, every time he left you, it devastated him. While we were on the road, he would just, not be right. But then we see him with you, like tonight, and he is completely different. He's happy, damn, he's in heaven! I was worried, for him, that you didn't feel the same way..and I told him to be careful.. I guess he thought about it more, and figured you would stick to what you said in the beginning, "friends." But then he talked to Billy, who told him everything you had said at the table, and he felt like such an ass, and rushed back to your place, and…that's when he found you."
Rylann just shook her head in disbelief…"You mean…he really didn't know I loved him, as more?" Rylann paused and Joel nodded in agreement. "Joel, he…I told him that he did this to me, to get back at me…I thought he knew and just was angry that I had told him no in the beginning…I thought he wanted to get his revenge, since I hurt him…Joel, he's never gonna speak to me again…God, what have I done!?" Joel quickly took Rylann into his arms, trying to comfort her. He backed away for a second and looked at her face.
"Ry…we'll fix all that, it was all a misunderstanding…Benji loves you, and you love him…I promise, it'll all work out. But Ry, I gotta know, why did you have those pills? Why were you taking anti- depressants? And Ry…were you trying to kill yourself tonight?"
Rylann looked down in shame. She slowly raised her head to look at Joel. "I used to take them, before I met Benji. I needed them after I left Jace. Well, after Jace left me. I had tried to…kill myself once before. I started seeing a doctor and taking the pills. It was all fine, then I met Benj. I took myself off the pills and stopped seeing the doctor. I was happy, really happy…all because of your brother. I only said no to him because I was afraid to become anything more…I was scared he could possibly break my heart the way Jace had. I figured, after I said no to anything more, he would move on to the next girl, after-all he is a `rock star'. But he didn't…he stayed around, and became my best friend. I was so afraid of what I felt for him, that I didn't tell anyone, and tried to swallow my heart. Then everything was so perfect today…and I just, let it all out when the guys asked. I thought about telling him, and then I had the dream, and knew I couldn't go on without him knowing. But then I got the note…and thoughts were just going wild in my head. So…I went to the bathroom, got the pills, and took them all. That's the last thing I remember before waking up here."
"God Ry…we…he never knew…"Joel said barely above a whisper.