The wind always seems colder when you're upset. The rain always seems to pours more intensely when your cheeks are stained with tears. It always seems when you need help the most, people within reach have blank faces. The world always seems to know just when you are hurting most, and sets the environment to suit your mood. As if you didn't feel it enough inside, literally everything around falls apart.
She watched each passing body; watched the way they were completely unaffected by her presence. Did no one notice her puffy eyes? The way she shook violently with chill and pain? She continued her walk through the crowded streets, expecting less and less of people as she did. She mentally beat herself up; physically it already looked as if she was. Her thin body was lacking pigment of any sort. Her face was sunken in; eyes were bloodshot with exhaustion. Her clothes, completely soaked from the universes cruel rain, hung loosely from her body. She must have been walking aimlessly for hours. Her mind was spinning; she felt ill. Nothing made sense to her. She had constantly reminded herself not to get attached. Told herself their relationship was strictly physical. Sure they were friends, who on occasion comforted each other with their bodies, but nothing beyond that. How had she let things get this intense? Why did she have to go and fall in love? The rain and piercing wind only seemed to intensify with her self-scolding. She completely tuned the world out, much the way it had done to her. She violently whipped her body around as she felt a firm grasp on her shoulder.
"Rai, I have been looking for you for hours…" Paul sighed, a look of relief washed over his face. Raielle starred back at him silently.
The waterworks made a triumphant return as she sobbed uncontrollably. His big brother instincts kicked in as her engulfed her in a tight hug. "Shhh sweetie, it's gonna be ok, I promise."
Raielle didn't know what to say or where to begin, instead just silently cried into Paul's shoulder on the swarming New York City street. He held her just as tightly as her forced her to walk along side him. There was an unspoken understanding between the two. Finally Raielle made her voice return to her body.
"Paulie, don't take me back there. I don't want to go, I can't." She pleaded.
"Rai, you have to. Where are you gonna go? Your no where near home…"
"I'll take a bus back home or something, there's no way in hell I am going back there and seeing him, let alone travel with him…" she said forcefully.
"C'mon Rai, what about me, I don't want you to leave! The other guys don't want you to go…please just come back to the bus…maybe it'll help you to talk to him…" Paul cautiously began before Raielle suddenly cut in.
"NO! Paul I don't ever want to see him again, how to expect me to talk to him!" She pushed Paul's arm off of her.
"Rai! Rai, don't push me away, I want to help you!" He called to her as she turned her back on him.
"If you wanted to help me, you never would have let any of this happen! This all stems back to you, and that stupid night!" She screamed back, averting everyone's attention to her.
Paul helplessly watched her run away from him, remembering back to the night she referred to, the night he introduced her to him……