The moon danced into his window, creating shadows on the wall of beautiful figures. It was another sleepless night, as it had been since he heard she was in town. Since he realized he actually had a chance of seeing her for at least one last time.
He wondered if Benji was sleeping, if he was crying, if he was okay. Needing someone to talk to, or maybe just someone to sit with, he decided to wake his brother up.
Joel through the covers off of him and stretched. He let his arms fall back down to his sides as his cell phone rang. He sprang to it, not knowing how much that urgency was needed.
"Hello?" He asked, half-knowing half-hoping who it could be.
A sigh transferred through. "Hey..." Ashton whispered, she was all alone in her room, but the dark had that way of silencing. "I hope I didn't wake you up."
"I was already awake." He sat back down on the bed, and turned to the window. "Can't sleep either?"
"No. I haven't been since I got here." She coiled the cord around her finger. "I'm sure it's this town." Her window was open, letting the brisk September air flood her room with smells of freshly cut grass and chlorine from the pool below. Moonbeams and starlight dripped in through the shears on the window that danced in the wind. She took it all in and wished everything in life was as sweet as the smells and light that entered her room.
He laughed. "I'm sure it's not. It's probably just the reason you're here." He looked down silently at the ground, the comforted silence surrounded him. "When are you leaving?" He hoped never, but knew it was soon. It'd always be too soon and too short with her.
"Tomorrow morning." She paused and looked at the clock's red digits that flashed 2:37 in the moonlight darkness. "Actually, I guess it'd be this morning." Joel jerked his head up from the ground. "Today?" She couldn't be, they had barely seen each other, barely talked. He needed more time, just a few more days to be with her, see her face. Just a few more days before she was all the way across the country.
"Yeah."
"Why?"
She sighed and said, "I have to get out of this town, Joel, I'll go crazy if I stay here any longer."
"You won't go crazy." He pleaded. She had to stay a little longer, he had to see her more. "Just stay a little longer. We can hang out, go to the beach or whatever you want to do."
A tear fell down her cheek. "No, Joel." She laid back onto her bed and let another tear slip down her skin and roll off her chin. "Joel, I can't stay here. I can't die in this town..."
A panic flushed through his body. "Die?" He whispered, the word filled the room. "Ashton, what's going on?" He worried. He couldn't lose her, she already meant too much to him.
She shook her head. She didn't know what was going on, the pain from coming back had started to cloud her mind with crazy thoughts again. It was just that this time she didn't know if she could over come them; they hurt too much this time, they were stronger this time. "I don't know, Joel...I really don't. The minute I heard Kai had died, I knew, I knew..." She started to sob. "I knew that if she couldn't make it through, Joel, if Kai LaTone couldn't get through this, who can?" She shook her head. "I can't." Her voice faded into a whisper. "I'm just not up for fighting against my past anymore."
By this time, Joel was already on the highway, driving as fast as he could to get to that hotel, to get to her. She needed him this time. He rolled the windows down and let the air hit his face, blow a tear or two off his cheeks.
He leaped out of his car, cell phone still pressed to his ear, and jogged into the hotel. A man walked out of an opening elevator, and he ran through the doors just as they began to close. He pressed the button of the floor she said she was on, and tapped the wall as the elevator ran at a sluggish pace up the shaft to where she was. It was the wait that weighed on them the most.
It was always the wait. The wait to get to class, to see each other, the wait to get away from high school, the wait to see each other, the wait to fall in love, the wait to save her.
As soon as the doors opened, he ran down the hall to room 714. He knocked, no one came. He knocked harder, and the door opened. She had propped it open with a news paper. He pushed the paper aside and walked in, finding Ashton sitting with her legs pulled up to her chin on the bed, tears rushing down the sides of her face. After adjusting his eyes to the dark, he moved towards her.
Sitting down on the bed, his arms wrapped tightly around her thin structure. She fell into his arms, crying still, and wrapped hers around him. His hand ran over the back of her t-shirt, trying to comfort her. He moved a hand from her back and placed it on her face, wiping tears away. He looked straight into her eyes, and knew she had more pain in her than anyone could ever imagine.
Her scars ran deep, they were unfixable with any quick methods, only time could help her. It was the wait to stop her tears that ate at them both the most. The only thing they could do was wait, let time try to solve it all.
"I'll Catch You" by The Get Up Kids
can you sleep as the sound hits your ears one at a time?
an unspokenbalance here,
unabridged for so many years
that i should stare atreceivers to receive her
isn't fair
don't worry i'll catch you
don't ever worry
your arms in mine, anytime
i wouldn't trade anything
you're still my everything
to my surprise, before my eyes, you arrive
i'm still breaking old habits when you pulled the wool over me
i can see everything, remembering "jinx removing"
no need for reminding... you're still all that matters to me